reply to post by Ghost in the Machine
You came as close as I can in describing what it is like to believe you are going to die.
I would take it a step further and put it into two different types of knowing.
Living a very active life on the razors edge I have brushed death many times. My adrenalin went sky high and I was sure I was going to die.
Then there is the situation when the doctor gives you the news of your possible demise.
I was told last August that my kidneys were in stage 4 kidney failure and that I had a large solid mass on my right kidney. I was told about all the
tests and surgery I would be having.
At the time I was alone with the doctor and walked out of his office an burst out weeping violently and getting very nausus. Thankfully, my wonderful
man was waiting for me right outside the door.
For a few days I was in disbelief and would ask Jim if I were dreaming or was I really going to die. We prayed a lot during those first few weeks.
After the first week I called my lawyer and made an appointment to have some changes made to my will.
The next month was filled with saddness, fear and I felt I was dreaming still.
I had to say goodbye to so many family membrs and friends.
After the second surgery I continued to feel worse and found myself bound to a wheel chair unable to even go to the bathroom by myself.
Jim continued to urge me to keep praying for strength to handle whatever was going to happen.
Then out of the blue my attitude changed compleatley. I began to love life again and enjoy every moment of each day. I was going to live until I
died and enjoy it.
I began to improve and my doctors said it was very rare for kidneys to repair themselves but that seemed to be what was happening.
Another surgery is planned for later this month but I am at peace with myself and the world.
I now understand that there are far more worse things than death. I will welcome my demise as I am ready for the next adventure. Don't think I want
to die but do know that death is no longer my enemy.
Before my sudden face with death I was asking God how much pain and sorrow a person could take in one lifetime. I thought I had reached my limit.
Little did I know I was going to get my answer in a most involved way.
Life is sweet but one day I will welcome the sweet sting of death and freedom of my soul.
Please overlook my spelling mistakes. My spell check program isn't working this morning.
[edit on 10-7-2010 by dizziedame]
[edit on 10-7-2010 by dizziedame]