If You Have Teen Girl, This is a Must Read.

Originally posted by WolfofWar
THIS JUST IN: Teenagers have a fragile sense of self, are prone to peer pressure, and bouts of random emotions.

Let me guess, you didn't read the article.

COMING UP NEXT, Did you know your microwave cannot be used to dry your pet?

Next.... if you don't have somthing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

You don't care for the topic, fine, other do.

reply to post by YJLTG


See I regret it already.
I hear everyone on about how your "teenage years are the best years of your life."
I can't. Parents say that when your married, it's going to be the best time of your time - I doubt that though Kids

WolfofWar - it's quite serious. Sure, years ago we still find these effects occuring but it's becoming much more deadly now. Please be nice xD

Oh no, I read it Intrepid. Self-objectification, drinking, blah blah blah. I don't buy it. It's the same old stuff kids have been doing, it's just a new way to spin it. Teens get drunk, party, act out in stupid ways, have sex, fight etc etc. It's what they do, and always have, because it's a part of human nature. It's a negative force, don't get me wrong, but it's nothing new to our society, and trying to blame modern toys and culture as the cause to something that has been going on since long before you and I were born, well it's facetious.

Oh, and you know, I have a right to disagree with the thread and post, so your little link about me being not nice really isn't relevant.

Originally posted by intrepid

All this ethics and moral are crap and only looks good in storybooks.

Why?

These so called moral and ethics have been laid down by someone who didn't want others to do things he probably didn't liked or maybe he did but didnt want others to enjoy it. What rights u got to dictate others to impose someone's or even ur will on a person? Now before you come in and say they are parents..so what? did the kid asked the parents to give them birth so they can run and rule the kids life as per their whim? The fathers/mothers did it for their own self...having sex, wanted a heir, keep their name alive..all for their own reasons and for their own happiness. Giving birth doesnt make one a sole owner to dictate lives.

People should do what they enjoy doing but taking care they dont hurt others or cause harm to anyone else.

What about the physical and psychological harm that these people do to themselves?
How do you know they cause physical and psychological harm? Cuz it's written in some book? said by some doc? Ofcourse you will find these things in books bcoz thats how own whims are imposed on others. People cant make their own choice what is right for them and not. You wont find any book or major distribution paper talking against these enforced morals and ethics..for so long people have been ruled by the whims of these morality and said rules that now its considered right anyway by majority. Anything which goes against these enforced beliefs is quickly shot down and considered immoral.

Originally posted by BlackPoison94
reply to post by YJLTG

 

WolfofWar - it's quite serious. Sure, years ago we still find these effects occuring but it's becoming much more deadly now. Please be nice xD

Is it, really? Really? Or is it just we are hearing about it more? I haven't seen any evidence pointing to a heightened danger, I just hear more about it as we try to demonize new things from time to time.

In 1986 Dungeons and Dragons was causing all the harm and social awkwardness in our teens.

In 1996 it was video games

In 1999 it was heavy metal

Now in 2010 it's electronics and such.

Dont get my wrong Interprid I am not saying that parents should not guide their kids about right or wrongs as they perceive it...but "guiding" and "imposing" are two different things.

Tell the kids if they do this what can be the result of it both good and bad but they shouldn't say, no you cannot do this, no you cannot do that or spy on them! People learn thru mistakes and by doing things practically on their own. If we could know everything by just reading and laid down set rules scientists would only put theories and not run practical experiments. People should decide on their own and not set on some broad definition or laid down rules.

Tell them about what you think is right and wrong and let them choose the path they want.

reply to post by WolfofWar


I'd have to agree.. Teenagers in the 60's were just as "bad" as teens in the 2000's .. even the article tries to say "sex in the 70's and 60's was about intemacy" .. What a load of horse crap. I've heard pleeennnty of stories from peoples in the 60's that went even beyond what I'd consider "OK" .. including, no doubt, my parents. In fact, I know for a fact that my dad was by far a lot worse than I was as a teen back in the 60's. What my parents did made me look like an innocent little angel.

And while we may say that those "back then" were not as .... aggressive about certain topics.. like sex or drugs, it all comes down to social norms. The social norm, created by ADULTS is that sex and drugs should be prevalent in society.. since kids grow up around these norms, acting out has to EXCEED what we would deem normal or acceptable. We deem sex acceptable, thus girls perform more oral sex, turning it into a form of currency or commodity.

Back in the 40's-50's sex was NOT the social norm, it was very conserved and not discussed.. so teens acted out against different social norms.. like swing dancing and all that devilish "shaking hips" and rock and roll. We look back on it and .. omg .. someone did the twist .. whoopty doo. Well back then that was a big, big deal.

We, as adults, set the standards for kids .. what's normal, what's abnormal, and depending on where that bar is set dictates how far a kid can rebel. If you teach your kid sex and drugs are bad and drinking is bad and don't do it till marriage .. your kid will follow your doctrin, or rebel and do all those things. If you teach your kid that sex and drinking and some drugs are not .. good, but not bad, but should be regarded with a sense of maturity... you kinda limit how far a kid can rebel.

But then again, depending on how you perceive rebellion will determine if you believe a child is actually rebelling at all! .. I don't consider teens drinking and having sex to be that rebellious, so if I found out my kid was doing .. well.. exactly what I did as a kid, I really wouldn't flip out. Another bible thumping neighbor might think they are hooligans and shield her children from mine. And the crack whore in the trailer park would think they are stuck up little brats.

This is why I hated Sociology. There's no right or wrong, only perception.

Originally posted by Rossa
An example of what this post is about is the experience I had today.
I spent 5 hours shopping with my 14 year old for her 8th grade graduation dress. It was a horrid experience for me, but worse was the experience for her.
Her weight is an issue, and not its not because she doesnt eatright or excersize (im a nutritionist, and we get our daily allottment of excersize). It is because the weight is hereditary, genetics.

I am not calling you out here or anything like that but I wanted to reply to this statement.

Weight and body image seems to be a massive issue within circles of women (any age), what I don't understand is why parents of said children are not aware of bad eating habits? for example, ANY fastfood establishment that parents take their children to eat in is aksing for troublet.Yes, children can be big boned through genetics, but the majority or people are over weight, simply because they eat too much, or they eat the wrong foods, and/or they don't get enough excercise. I speak to overweight people all the time and I hear the same old story over and over and over again. "Im trying to lose the weight, really I am", when asked what they did on the weekend, They went out binge drinking Alcohol is the big one, and kids especially teenagers don't realise how many calories are in their sugary alcopops/chasers.

IMHO - Schools should be setting examples and bringing in more and more low calorie,low fat foods and they should be promoting excercise and improve positive thinking in the way teenagrs look at their bodies.

[edit on 9-5-2010 by franspeakfree]

reply to post by Ayana

I've never been very socially inclusive, and I don't like programmes such as Gossip girl or magazines about celebrities (I prefer sci-fi and ATS, and been more interested in science and politics than Britains got Talent) So I've always been a bit of an outsider, bit of a 'freak' but I had like, friends, who didn't seem to mind until 6th form, when we're all thrown together and the cliches get more defined.

Look little Dudette listen to me,

Your doing very good, just concentrate on your studies and make sure you over excel and get a scholarship for that Uni you want to go to.

The only trend group you should worry about being in is the "I'm get great grades" group.

Whether that was coz I wasn't 'cool' enough for them anymore or what, I dunno - but they found other people they wanted to spend time with and there was no room for me anymore

Those friends were never truly your friends so don't worry about them or what they said about you.

Be on the look out for girls all alone, the one nobody talks to because they are not considered cool because they get good grades and concentrate on school work. Walk up to a girls like that and ask her if you two would like to be friends.

Don't worry about being cool at all, you are cool. The only thing that is not cool is treating your friends like crap and talking bad about them.

I also worry about EVERYTHING, which never helps, but I think it's just a personality trait, and I carry other peoples problems with mine, which pushed me down further.

Don't worry so much, you have good parents that love you and will only worry more then they have to if you worry. worrying is their job, your job is to do good in school and have fun while your at it. you will have plenty of time to worry when your grown up ok?

I have eczema pretty bad, which the doctor reckons is stress-related (and it looks hideous, but I've managed to get past that and I've stopped hiding it now, which I suppose is a good thing) and I have insomnia. Usually takes about 2 hours to get to sleep, and I wake up about 4 times on an average night (but my dad has insomnia, as does my gran, so I dunno, it might not work like that but it could be through something else)

doctors are pretty dumb sometimes, your eczema might be causes by an allergic reaction to dairy products. Try not eating absolutely no dairy products at all for two weeks and see if that helps.

Eczema could very well be a rejection of protein so try not drinking milk first, then eggs, then all dairy products.

I'm not a doctor so make sure you show the linked site to your parents first ok?

Show this site to your Mum ok?

The Cure for Eczema

Make sure you and your mum read the comments below the small article on that site.

But just one last thought, if you think your kids upset, don't push them into telling you.

Deal!

But make sure you always feel confident that you can tell your parents anything that troubling you. This works both ways and parents always need to know that your ok so if your not you need to let them know so they can help. They have been through your age and know a lot more than you think.

Being a teenage girl is scary, and I didn't realise that til I was 16. I have a cousin whose 12 and she's already been where I was. It is getting younger, and it's a massive problem which really should be sorted out.

Thanks for reading my MASSIVE post. Sorry it was so ridiculously long, I just think that when it's out there, it can help other people, really.

Thanks and I'm sure this has helped other girls your age reading it.

You got your whole life ahead of you and things will work out for you just be kind hearted, don't let silly things bother you, listen to your parents and have fun.

Now go up stairs and PUT A SWEATER ON!!!!!!

I'm a single dad who is raising 2 daughters on his own. Without a motherly influence I've made sure to show them lots of love care and attention. Not to toot my own horn, but I think they are the most wonderful people I've ever had they pleasure to know in this world. They have not had it as easy as most kids as I'm in a wheelchair which means they have taken care of me as much as I do for them. There are some jobs about the house which I just cant do, and they jump in and help without a second thought. Now my eldest is 11 and I do worry about things to come, but I know her and who she is. So I don't have to worry too much.

My kids make me laugh, they make me think and they challenge me in good ways. They have a fantastic grasp on the way the world is and I'm always proud of them. As an example, I had made a rule that holloween was not to happen in our family. Sure, it seems fun, but how is collecting junk food from strangers going to help them in life? So they were happy with that.

But then, they had a thought that instead of asking for lollies they would instead bring there own bag of chocolates, purchased with their own pocket money and instead of asking for chocolates, they collect a donation for the starlight foundation (cancer support group for kids). If someones makes a donation, my girls as a reward give THEM a chocolate instead! And you should see the smiles on peoples faces once they realise what is happening (yes I'm one of the daggy dads who hang out behind them when they knock). Over the last 4 years they have raised over $1000!!

I've given them a great sense of the difference between a musician and the media slung garbage which most kids listen too. It is hard for them when all their friends sing the latest song in the schoolyard, and yes they sometimes learn those songs too but in their rooms away from friends I hear them listening to true musicians. As an outing recently I took them to see Regina Spektor in concert, who is a fantastic pianist/songwriter who is just quirky enough but also talented enough to hook them in. It was a great night out for us three. Regina wore a lovely 1920's ish dress so as the focus was on the music NOT the amount of skin showing.



Now to the bad stuff. The below pathetic video really disgusts me beyond belief. These ADULTS which made this should be so ashamed with themselves. I don't understand how or why these 'people' think the way they do. This video may be against ATS T&C's and if I get warned or banned, I'll live with that. But I think it really belongs in this thread to show how low the adults in this world are.
This is taken from a childrens show. A CHILDRENS SHOW! Taken, twisted and edited into some sicko's sexualisation fantasy. What would a kid think if they viewed this? That no matter who you are, or what you do, even a show for childrens entertainment, that there is an adult out there thinking about how sexy they can make you. I apologise if this is too offensive, but adults made this garbage.

reply to post by intrepid


S&F for you sir! Thx so much! This article really hits home~! Someone very very close to my family was cutting herself and had no idea that it might be because she was getting a cheap 'high' or if it was because she was with her mother and found no way out of that situation or both.

im somebody who believes that the entire female race has been under appreciated and abused by society since day one. s&f on this thread i applaud what youre doing.

I skimmed the book while at barns and noble today.

The author makes a very convincing case for gender segregated schools.

Because socially dumb, this book taught me a lot about how social situations work to. For instance one of my suite mates was talking about how every time a sorority girl at a party would hook up with him, she'd first drag him all around everywhere and what he said on the matter was "I don't get it, I don't care if I'm hooking up with you over there or over there as long as I'm hooking up with you."

After reading that book, I'm like "oh, so the girl is doing it to show off her 'prize' and increase her social status."

reply to post by Cobra.EXE


I tend to think as of late they have been over-appreciated. Every commercial makes men out to look as fools, and the women behind them the brains of the operation in the family. Men are looked upon as childish brutes who grunt and are simple minded, while women are intellectual, complex and sophisticated.

We are all equal, we have the same intellectual capacities as well as the same flaws. This article demonstrates the same flaws in our thought processes. Girls are fragile and prone to self-destructive behavior, but what about all the boys who are just the same?

Originally posted by WolfofWar
We are all equal, we have the same intellectual capacities as well as the same flaws. This article demonstrates the same flaws in our thought processes. Girls are fragile and prone to self-destructive behavior, but what about all the boys who are just the same?

Q: Boys aren’t anxious?
A: No, not like girls. When you actually sit down and talk to a girl, as I have done in many venues across Canada and the U.S., she will tell you she’s waking up at two in the morning upset about the pizza she ate for supper, and thinks she’s fat even though she’s not, and is frantic about whether she’s going to get into the university she wants to go to. Meanwhile her brother the goofball is enjoying life: eats a whole pizza for supper and doesn’t bat an eye, sleeps in late, and is perfectly content with his online games and pornography, hanging out with two other guys who are just like him. He’s happy! But his sister, who looks so good on paper, is not.

Q: You say that girls who don’t have a sense of self are prone to obsessions with, for instance, fitness. But isn’t this also true for boys?
A: I think there is something qualitatively different. For girls, I use this term “anorexia of the soul,” which I first read in a New York Times article. What I understand it to mean is that this girl is wasting away on the inside. She’s obsessed with surface—being the best student, or the fastest runner—but inside, her sense of self is undernourished, it’s starving. She doesn’t realize it because people keep praising her for being the top student or the fastest runner, and her sense of self gets tied up in that surface. I just don’t see that with boys. You will certainly find a lot of boys who are very comfortable, when you ask them to tell you about themselves, saying, “Well, I’m a really good gamer.” That’s also a pretty impoverished sense of self, but it doesn’t seem to bother the boys. And unfortunately, perhaps, they’re more robust and less prone to existential collapse than girls. That boy who’s a champion gamer is not going to fall apart if some other guy gets to level two in a game before he does. That’s okay, he still has status among other boys. Whereas the girl whose identity consists of being the “smart girl” or “Justin’s girlfriend” tends to crumble if she doesn’t get into the university of her choice or if Justin dumps her.

reply to post by intrepid


And I disagree with that article intrepid, boys during puberty have just as much issues and emotional baggage, if not the same type. We are trying to segregate sexes as being different when we are exactly the same, and uses the growing pains of teenage years as an excuse to criticize the changes of our times, when they are not relevant at all.

Originally posted by WolfofWar
reply to post by intrepid

 

And I disagree with that article intrepid, boys during puberty have just as much issues and emotional baggage, if not the same type. We are trying to segregate sexes as being different when we are exactly the same,

If that is the case I wouldn't mind seeing some corroborating source to show that. I have provided a source for this topic.

and uses the growing pains of teenage years as an excuse to criticize the changes of our times, when they are not relevant at all.

And you would be wrong. There's a big difference. This is the digital age and people market themselves and bully each other on line. You don't have to get together to bash the flower now. Just log on and any number of people can do it. Totally different than before.

Originally posted by intrepid
If that is the case I wouldn't mind seeing some corroborating source to show that. I have provided a source for this topic.
And you would be wrong. There's a big difference. This is the digital age and people market themselves and bully each other on line. You don't have to get together to bash the flower now. Just log on and any number of people can do it. Totally different than before.

Your source is merely the opinion of a person, a person with an agenda. Nothing that I could provide would be any different than another persons opinion. What I can provide is what we all know, because it's what we all experienced. Our hormones flair as both males and females, in equal number. We all feel insecure, we all feel like we are outcasts, we all have high sexual urges and confusion in feelings.

As for online making it easier to bully, it's not like they are being bullied any more, it's just the medium has changed. Before kids used to go outside and play, and get bullied. Now they stay home, play on the computer, and get bullied. It's not an increase in bullying, it's a change of medium. A better change at that, because if you are a capable parent you already taught your child that what other people say doesn't matter, and they will shrug it off. Another added benefit to E-bullying over actually bullying is there is no physicality. It's easier to ignore somebody online then off.

Originally posted by WolfofWar
Your source is merely the opinion of a person, a person with an agenda. Nothing that I could provide would be any different than another persons opinion.

I’m both a Ph.D. psychologist and a medical doctor...

I'm sure his "opinion" carries the needed weight.

reply to post by intrepid


A doctor who is trying to sell a new book, a book that would sell more with sensationalist ideas than with logic and facts. Nobody is going to buy a book about how society hasn't changed and how we all need to step back and relax and focus on raising children properly, now would they? I mean, what would you rather read:

"Why the E-culture is killing your child"

"Why nothing has ever changed, and we need to stop panicking."

Read between the lines, look at the reasons behind the reasons.