Robinesque Ruminations

I prayed today. I have my moments. Sorry, I'm distracted by a bird for this moment. Right now, it's just a silloette. I can't make out the species. I'm pretty good. I can usually identify... it just flew away. Falcon.

Where was I? Yes, praying. Sometimes, I will pray for a spell, and think it matters. Other times, I refine pray to be nothing more than a conversation. But today, I was asking. I turned off the computer after I had finished watching the last episode of the third season of the Sopranos. ( Do I want to write, I keep looking out the widow? Yesterday I saw a mink.) I didn't let the moral of the story sink in much. Right away I started composing something I never ended up writing. After much thought, the less expressed the better. It's so hard to say very little. Especially since it's my only passion. Especially since it hits on the central nerve in my being. Forget about the fact I never wrote it. Forget about the subject. I just felt like a proud little boy who's just learned to tie his shoes. A skill I never really mastered. I'm living vicariously then. My son asked me about that would recently. I was proud that I can compose. Suddenly, I'm Beethoven and I'm conducting a symphony. I hear the booms and crash of the all of nature though there is no sounds in the room. I wanted to lift the roof. For a moment, that moment anyway, I almost had the power to erupt whatever was in my head out into the universe and not even the narrow sloped ceiling of my room could stop me. Then.

I realized where I was. Realized how I got here. And knew I was just entertaining myself. Mob boss of my own little realm. I got to stop watching that show. I swear I witnessed the convience store owner being shaken down my an eager customer. I walked out of the store shaking my head trying to get the thought out of my mind. Talk about composing. I was creating pure fiction. So what if his wife was at the bank. Why the heck was a privy to that information at that moment. My mind was just playing tricks with me. I'm sure he wasn't nervous when he seemed to fumble when opening that new pack of rolling papers. I'm sure the customer was his close friend or something. There was a moment I wanted to tell the eager customer to back off and let me finish my purchase. He mentioned something about being in a rush/work/something. Lottery tickets I bet. I walked out quickly without thinking anything at second. Whatever. When I walked outside I saw the customer's car idling with the windows open. Not a fancy car. Non-decript really. It was at this moment I formed that theory that he was a thug extorting the shop owner. For a brief second I was convinced. And in that second I had an impulse. I wanted to say a bad word and take the car. Just go. Why not? Why not be a wise guy?

Yes, I'm a wise guy. I see the grift. Everywhere. Even in me.
So, I just I was praying for the chance to redeem. Redemption. I frickin' need it. I need- I'm scratching everything I write after that last sentence. 'cause it's all crap. I just know the truth is all.

So, I prayed. After I lifted the rood and felt that surge of ego and connection that big, bigger world, I almost felt like I had a purpose and only need to realize it. And that's what I prayed for. A chance.

I said, 'please, just please take your thumb off of me. I deserve a bit of luck and happenstance. my life as a story is compose itself and yes i feel as if it writes itself. meaning i have little power to dictate to whatever power it is that drives me. that's why the f- f-word i don't edit an i spill it forth. because i don't feel i have the right to fix it. i know it's man- what. that's not part of my prayer. i'm embellishing those last sentences.

i said, i know i haven't had bad luck. you know. and yes i've avoided some bad luck by having dumb luck. but that's not the same as good luck. in everything there is some luck. however you want to define it.

that's it. It was just me asking for a break. I suppose that's the most common prayer. I want my peice of the cake. Wait, I just did the same kind of prayer that gangster made in Boardwalk Empire. Demanding of God. I suppose I"m watching to many mob movies. Forget about it. Really. Because they are helping me. Most of today's modern crime media is fixated on the psycology of crime. And that's my thing. I'm sinking on the couch with Tony. Frig. I was thinking I was such a smarty pants when I watched Breaking Bad... "I'm watching to study the human mind."

Bullpattypucks you shmuck. They're soap operas. Those sneaky bastards got you hooked on gangsta soap operas. Why can't you just stick to political satire and cartoons. Why????

307 characters left. At some point I looked at the count and thought I may as well fill up the box. Take a big dump. World's biggest held by Randy Marsh. Too much Southpark. I'll pay for that. 112 111 I can't catch up. So, to finish with just numbers would be a crime. 37.

god, give me a break
please

www.theregister.co.uk...

I post this because I'd like to think I can see both sides of any argument. I do this not because it's in my nature. It's just neccessary. The whole way throught read the article, I struggle to push back my bias far enough to put the information in context. But I have one problem right now, I don't f'in' care anymore. The entire issue is now some sort of absurdity you'd find if you were Gulliver while exploring the world. Everyone is talking past each other and we're getting nowhere. Change is needed. Change is not happening. The same is happening at an every increasing rate. I need to elborate no futher because I need cite only one factoid. Population. F-word. F-word. SOrry - my tic.

I don't flippin' care that Egypt wasn't flooded. Because like teenage boys arguing about the size of our penises. eff the temperature and, eff the hockey stick, and the CO2. Yesterday, I wrote about Orwellian double-speak. This debate is past the point of some dark alternate reality. It's flippin' real. The simple fact is that we are polluting. We are fouling the air, land, and seas. Everywhere around you is a pipe that is spilling out every kind of waste. Fish are ingesting hormones and becoming freaks of nature. Oh, mutation is normal. Mutation made me. But this isn't what occured over billions of years here. Today, what we do, is unprecidented. Forget about how hot it was when the freakin' dinos were around. The big ones are gone. Something changed and so did they. They had to get smaller and fly and migrate. An extinction event. Forget about the cause. I will. (cough- volcanoes). Something changed and in a relatively short time, multitudes of species died off. We are changing our planet. eff the fractions and the splitting of hairs. The reason the earth is having a reprieve from the heat is the volcanoes and Chinese pollution. I'm not blaming them. It's our pollution. It is the pollution produce by we, the consumers. In the West, we are still the big pigs on the block.

I suppose I want to care. And I must confess, despite my earlier claim that I don't care, I do. But I can't think of the world in this moment anymore. Yes, like those in the article, I want to know if seas will rise and what happens next. But, there is only one answer. It is the answer that has always been. You must look at the geologic record. And look at the last 150 years of industrialization. (but robin, you're now getting in to the numbers games and the geological record shows it was much hotter way back when, and etc.)(no, I am looking at patterns, my simplifying the math) The geological record shows that when there is a sudden climatic change, disregarding whatever caused it, there is an extinction event to follow. This is as straightforward as it gets. No, it doesn't happen on a grand scale every time. But there is always adaptation due to change. And it is a pattern that will happen again in the future. Ane we are hastening that event. This is a fact. To say that what we are doing on the planet is not having any consequences is just foolish. And is you concede that we are polluting, but that nature has a self-correcting mechanism that will sort everything out in the end, you are correct, but completely mis-guided. That self-correcting mechanism is famine, flood, and catastrope. Sumatra. Japan. This is what nature does. To be surprised, would mean that you can see history. Look. And you'll see these events are never-ending and will continue to happen. WE have become insular. Me too. I'm a boy in a bubble.

The men didn't take the recylcying bag today. We mixed our grays and blues. (hehehe- that's the american civil war- this didn't come instantly to mind becasue i'm canadian, but -ya) We got two stickers explain our bad. My elderly father had just one solution. All in the garbage. I told him I'd figure it out, but not right now. Because I have another absurdity on my mind an it was giving me a slight migraine. eff racket. waste management. who's being naive. not me

want to know the future?
we'll continue to pollute. the climate is changing. either an asteroid, or volcanoes, will set things in motion.
the ice will melt, reducing the cooling effect on magma= eruptions= major cool down

asteroid, blammo, cool down
so, for the present and near future. warmer, your long range forecast is cooler

While I have a bit of space left here, I want to bring to light some of my failed seeings. The European Market did not crash. And the stock markets haven't failed.

This means the European crisis was meant to hurt them enough so that the Chinese would still want oil priced in American dollars.
The market hasn`t failed yet because it`s been pump full of air and is now in bubble territory. by not totally crippling the European markets, the US can now cause a panic at anytime by reinvoking the fears of a European debt crisis.

people do weird crap when there`s a crisis-
sos

Praying out loud.
for crying out loud
but mostly laughing
fall on my knees
hear the angels singing
the rest is just sound
no lyric can match the lifting chorus and band

I asked for a break. Gimme a break. Gimmie, gimmie never gets bubble gum and cigarettes.
Instead, I've been tested. No rest. Gravity even heavier. My noise not penetrating through to brains.
No mas
in my dreams
i was stuck at an airport in france- no joke
no more. i wish. but no genie
i passed the test
the wire that runs through my brain only burned a little. sort of like poison ivy on the scalp
only two months ago, the same stresses would have set a whole brush fire.
it would have blinded me in a red light.
i guess that's the grace. i'm somehow slightly on the other side of a boundry. far from enough to solve anything.
only enough relief to realize i've solved a problem
a big one
it was my trigeminal nerve
that's not to say i won't drop dead of a heart attack in the next ten minutes.

because i'm exhausted. and smoking cigarettes
bittersweet calm when you drag on that fag
i'm conflict when writing that last word, because i'm not british. but it ryhmes

what am i writing about?
right, no break, more testing
looks like i'm a zillion miles from reaching atonement

i need to write a list
go to doctor tomorrow

i'm going to go to the doctor even though in the past, visiting the hospital, has caused me to get worse and not better
i suppose i'm not to jaded and cynical
i still have a speck of hope and a need

i'm feeling very sheepish
ducks outside are creeping up the lawn to look for bread
and i'm fininshing this and running away to hide and lose myself in a movie or something.

i should be like a duck
water off my back
ducks were dinos once you know

Misdirected. Misdirected. Misdirected.
Obviously my theme for the day.

nerves I bet
just me looking over my shoulder.
that little voice is tell me to look to the skies.

Hey, hey f uckers.
I went to the hospital today. I'm sure all of you have visited the doctor. Hey, who likes hospitals anyway.

BUT. Have you gone in with a mental illeness. Those docs seem to know how to fix faulty vavles and flood the body with chemicals in order to bring back health. The one thing they can't fix is the mind. If you think anti-depressants work. I'm sorry. You are wrong. If you think the councellors and doctors know how to heal a mind, you are wrong.
I've spent 15 years letting them try. And, they' ve only failed. They don't know.

I went to the hospital. I waited. But finally I laid on the table those things that were making me sick. I gave the vampire lady my blood. I let the guy with the sticky things stick those cold plastic tabs to my chest. I opened up like an eager flower in spring. I did everything they wanted like a good soldier.

The doctor discharged me. She spent 30 seconds explaining the tests were negative. Then left with asking me if I understood, or, if I had any questions and or. #. She never offered anything. I was just dismissed. Discharged. Ignored.

However, there was one crisis nurse who helped me with some government forms. She was a great listener. And she tried her best. I can tell. I just told my dad why I love animals. Because they are honest. This nurse was honest and tried here best. I cannot complain about her. But that #in' pregant doctor. No time. I saw her for a shorter period than I see a animal in the wild. Sometimes, you wonder if you saw what you think you saw when you're watching nature. Sometimes, their visits are so brief, you wonder if it happened at all. That is what if felt like when I had my brief encounter with the frickin'g doc=god. #. I was so frustrated by the overarching diagnosis of stress, and only stress, it made me mental. Yes, it's stress. So what! And what are you going to do to alieveate the stress. Nothing. No medications offered. Nothing. I was given a big fat #in' nothing.

to be continue

There's no way four hours past before I tried to edit.

To finish my story, after the doctors dismissed my pain, I wasn't too happy. While I waited for the nurse to fing out what the conclusion was, I started to lose my self-control.

I lost it
'
I ended up being escorted out of the hospital by security. Wait, f this . I'm going to give you a copy of the email I sent to my old helper back up in Kenora, Ontario. She was advising me to go to the hospital. Here's what I wrote her verbatim.

"I took every one's advice and went to the hospital.
After I was discharged, even though I only saw the doctor for a few
minutes. And when she discharged me, she spent on 30 seconds
explaining the tests were negative, she left. I didn't understand what
she said, because she didn't ask me if I understood. She did not ask
if I had any questions, and left without another word. I also spoke
with a crisis nurse. She was good. She helped me with my government
housing application, but she wasn't able to communicate my needs to
the doctor. In total, I spent less than four minutes with the doctor.

Apparently, it's just all stress and anxiety. F uck. They didn't even
discuss with me the mouth guard and my trigeminal nerve. Heck, maybe i
should have been offered lorazopam. I explained I stopped taking them
last August. And that it was this withdrawal that caused me to grind
my teeth which injured my trigeminal nerve. Those f uckers. I have had
nightmares every night. In one dream I was trapped in an airport in
France. When I awoke an analysised the dream, I realized this was
based on an actual event. There was a refugee stuck in a Paris
airport. Because no would take him.

en.wikipedia.org...

The guy spent 15 years as a refugee in the Paris Airport.

who knows what my dream meant



I almost got in a fight with the security guards. I was walking off
the property. I was silent and determined to leave as soon as
possible.
The guy, shouted after me, "Why don't you learn some respect."

I lost it. I got in his face. Yelled at him about his need to have the
last word. Told him I was walking away as asked, and he thought he
should have the last word. I told him to follow me out to the public
sidewalk to further our discussion and duke it out. I regressed. He
kept threatening me with a trespassing charge. I told him I was
walking away and therefore this threat was absurd.

I walked away.
Worse off for the experience.

I am a third class citizen. No,... I am a plague. Something to be
removed like a germ.
I am sick. And no one has the cure.
I can manage my illness. I can't manage those that purport to have the
monopoly on help.
Doctors think they are Gods.

I'm a heratic. f uck them.

# them.
sherry almost caused me to jump
this last prize had me enraged.
war


sorry
it's those muther f uckers who fail to communicate and understand.
arrogance
the only f ucker to fully know the hell i live, is me"

The biggest complaint was I was using unappropiate languague. The f word primarily.

My god. It's so easy to upset the f ucking apple cart. They all go ballistic when you use the f word. Rewarding bad behaviour. F uck u all. Is my language upsetting you. Well, the f word in Scotland is not so profane. They say it there as if it were no more offensive than the darn word. How the f uck about that? S0, if any of you think that I have anything to say of value, the you'll know that from now on, I will say darn instead of f uck. The lazy accountmatic censors will look for my f word. But they won't find it. I will, from now on, say darn. Darn will be the equivolent of f uck. So, if I write, "that darn bunch of oil drillers causing earthquake are a bunch of darn liars. You'll know I'm saying for real, "that f ucking bunch of oil drillers causing earthquakes are a bunch of f uc king liars.

You know what's funny?
When I write the f word. when I reread what I wrote, the f word turns into this.... # a f ucking number sign.
Like we don't know what that means. So. If you see a # sign. It means f uck. Without the space between f and the U.

am i a child?

they f ucing treat us like children.
you know they know who we are
you don't really think they'll round us up during the crisis because we are rabble-rousers.

I am

I asked that security guard today, to step out to the public sidewalk and see if he still wanted to get in the last word. He didn't follow me. None of you will. You'll drop a load in your pants as soon as I start throwing the f bomb around and threatening violence.

I'm Canadinan.
I think the Patriot Act applies to me specifically.
And i still think canada has freedom of speech

bring the f ucking thing down

alll of
it

i'm ready.

The short version of the story is that I went to the hospital for help with my illness.
The end of the story is that is was threatened with arrest for trepassing.

sweet


now i'm going to vomit

reply to post by ericblair4891


Hey Eric, hang in there. I read about your nerve pain--that sounds unbearable. I really hope you find the strength to endure until you find a medical professional that is able to help you.

If it helps, keep writing. I'm reading, and I'm certain I'm not the only one.

BTW, I just now "got" your name. It always seemed so familiar but I couldn't place it, until I glanced at my son's copy of nineteen-eighty-four. Ah, well, (or should I say, Or well) I never claimed to be quick-witted.

reply to post by Olivine


Don't worry about me. I will recover, I have no choice. Yesterday was a big ugly mess, and behaved badly. Today, it is not an ugly day. Dr. Buttons gave me some therapy. I just mostly tired. I can't really remember what I wrote. I don't want to reread it.

Aunt B, I may not wrote as soon I though. Tired.

My behaviour was not right. But I am right about what caused the outburst, and I know I am right, that I did not instigate the near fight with the security gaurds. I guess I just don't like being told to learn respect.

I was walking away, quiet, as ordered. I wanted to get the hell away. Fast. There were two of them. The shorter, quieter fellow blinked, when I stuck my finger in his face and told him that he was well aware that other fella picked the fight. Really? Antaganizing(that ain't spelled right don't care) a crazy person is not always a prudent call.

I don't think this part of the equation is rocket science. That fella could have caused an even uglier scene.

I must have had some of my right mind left, because I didn't bite off his nose and eat it.

just kidding

or am i
sorry
my kid says that a lot and i think it's hiarious

laugh or you'll die

laugh when it's hardest to so

effen' laugh

Dr Buttons is a dog.
And a better therapist than those human "proffesionals".

Originally posted by ericblair4891
Dr Buttons is a dog.
And a better therapist than those human "proffesionals".

That post made me smile. I can't figure how to phrase this correctly. Maybe I should just ramble a bit and it will all make sense. We think there is a certain order of things, you feel bad mentally so you go to the "professionals" for help. The professionals IMO seem to push the drugs and medicate to where the person is so clouded that the original issue is buried. I don't like the whole mental health system, I haven't heard of someone actually feeling better or problem solved by seeing those people, healing always seems to come from within.

What I find refreshing about you is that you can just stop and see something wonderful and appreciate it. I love how you notice the birds and animals around you. While messaging you yesterday I looked out the window and this cloud looked just like an ostrich. It was so cool, I think that there is some unspoken rule that adults shouldn't be playing, "what does that cloud look like" but I do. I think it keeps us young at heart. When you are feeling young in side it seems that you can find joy so much easier, which helps make life a bit easier. "An ye harm none, do as thou will". I know you deal with pain everyday and it tries to kick your butt but you push onward. Like the kid that has decided to conquer a giant snow pile. You seem to seek what you need. Dogs know humans better then humans know dogs. Often when I am stressed my pup will come put his head in my lap. I think I am patting him & making him feel better when actually he made me feel better.

I am done rambling now.

en.wikipedia.org...

I think I get angrier everyday. The other day I was wishing very hard, that aliens would so up so I could ask them so questions.

www.digitaljournal.com...

The oil spills aren't what's go me so mad this morn'. IT's the freakin' researchers. Now they are claiming lean red meat is bad for you. If law and , and civilization fall, then I would be 'bad' for you, because I'm ready to go back to the old rules. I would be bad for you because I would hit you on the head with my club.

The article was on BBC. I'm not visiting their site again. I was reading up on volcanos when I came across the tripe. Now remember, only a couple of slices of tripe or you'll die.

Right now, I'm trying to heal a nerve. And I can only do it through food. So, what did I learn about nerve health. Hmmm- eat lots of vitamin b's. Pork has so many. ANd so does beef and red meat.

The research is all bunk. Firstly, eat lots of raw foods. Mainly nuts and apples. Load up on lots of green veggies and eat a variety of colourful fruit in rotation. Don't get the big blueberries. They are garbage. Look for tiny wild ones. Meat is good for your brain and nerves. Eat it.

The problem folks is we eat way TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. We eat and eat and never stop eating. Fast.
Choleasteral. Wow, I hate trying to spell that word. There is no such thing as 'good' cholesterol, or bad cholesterol. That's stupid. Your body will know how much to make and carry in your blood stream if you eat the proper foods and don't over eat.

I went fourteen days without food. It was a protest. So, I know you don't get headaches from not eating for a couple of hours. The headache is stress because people are addicted to food. If they don't have a constant supply of food, they start jonesing.

I'm done.

Processed food= bad.

stupid thing double posted.

December, 2004, I went on a hunger strike. It was a protest. I still maintain that I was rational at the time and it was not part of my mental illness. It was undertaken to demonstrate my mental illness. (an aside- at this moment, I am so angry, so depressed, it's a 9.5 on the scale andthere's nothing I can do about it- 'cept wait) My hunger lasted 14 days. It was not long compared to some others, but it was substantial. It was many thousand times longer that most people go witout eating. I want to say that I understand what the strikers are going through at Gitmo Bay. But I can't. Because I was never force fed.

America, you've lost your soul.
I would die fighting to stop you. Because you know no shame. You are the great evil.
I'm am not a terrorist. I don't even like to go outside and have verbal arguments with people.
I will not be violent. I was a Canadian Peace Keeper. Back when that's what we did. I would never sanction an aggressive strike against any innocent civilian. I am a freakin' warrior.

I think I'm safe from you here in Canada. But if you crossed that border. Any you tried to force feed me, I'd bite your nose off.

What am I talking about? geez. I'm already a prisoner. Under attack in mine own country for something as silly as a right to choose my medical treatment. Do I stand and rebel against mine own land?
My country? No. I'm too patriotic and love my country despite our faults.

I'd love to led a revolution. I'd like to change the plan man. But.
Freedom is a complete illusion. sorry
All you can do is bite the nose off the world if they get too close.
Mine is the tightest straight-jacket. It's grip crushes me no matter how hard I push back.
Or, for how long.
It's a freakin' boa and it's constricting.
I only manage to hold onto enough space to breath and stay alive.

God never answered my prayer by the way.
I haven't had a single break.
good, bad, or indifferent

we are fat
we are stupid
we are bullies

yes, in nearly a half-century of constant thinking
and after following the road of truth for as long as I could,
,(this f-ing spellcorrector is capitalizing my freakin i's I don't always like to capita....forget it)
after trying to live without lying,
(i) have found that there is only one answer

we are all bullies
everything we give has conditions

i'd go mad if i didn't understand quantum physics
(robin laughs and gets the f off line)

Okay. The deal. No swearing.

Breathing, after a big breath which pulled all the excess muscle back into my throat. Disgusting. Yes. But it is reality. I recently inhaled some concrete dust. Yes, I won't swear. But how do I not swear when the first words I want to etch in cyber space are profane. I am s poo poo faced.

There. Now I can attempt to be intelligent. Even if I am intoxicated. (I hope you all know when I use brackets, I am talking to my delusions and this is not to be used against me when determining my theories on volcanism.) (You may ask, why am I so intoxicated.) ( The headache) (trigeminal nerve) (it almost killed me) ( I think I may have beat it) (but I cheated)( I drank) ( I used old fashioned medicine) ( just like when they gave a soldier a drink just before they sawed off his leg.) (side-effects)

Why the heck am I writing?
Will I make a difference?
Is it worth it?
Should I care if anyone is listening?
Can I make a difference?
Do I make a difference?
Do I have a purpose?
Am I unique?
Am I part of the whole or separate?

Sorry.
long pause.

Where was I?
I got lost for a moment. I know the freakin' answer. But I can 't remember the freakin' question. 42 42
42
The question
Can I know the future?
no.
yes
no
yes.

what's the math?
yes
no
yes no
my god,
my son, who is 10 years old, is no trying to figure this out. he says that when you flip a coin, it comes out mostly heads
I hated breaking the news.
there's a thing that deals with that
probability

1961 my parents were married
in 1961, the world discovered that a little change could cause a big difference.
in 1961, the world knew the mathematical certain of the uncertainty of chaos
a little butterfly named Edward Norton Lorenz flapped his wings and went and got himself a coffee

math
yes
that's where where I started
it must be math
the question must be math
forget the emotion
it's math
and forget a little effect
forget the flaps of wings
and the subtle changes, and the input
my god
there's no other answer

math

oh, there's the rub
oh,

I can't get past the math. the math can be the stern look on someone's face who is disappointed in me. someone who thinks i'm an idealist and I have no common sense.
they're right of course.

oh, the headache
it's almost gone
but damn
the cure is almost worse than the disorder
because i'll have to find a cure for the cure
and then find a cure for that cure

somewhere there's a mathematical certainty to all that. and even though i'm helpless. I must resist and become the exception. the anomaly. the chaos.

muther fracker. heck I want to swear. because it's the fly in the ointment. disorder. why aren't all the experts lining up to talk to me. or are they?

en.wikipedia.org...


www.youtube.com...

en.wikipedia.org...:_Why_More_Is_Less




www.youtube.com...

During the post war boom, there was lots of industry. Dirty air. This caused a lowering of temps. After, the recession of 1970's, along with cleaner burning gasoline due to changes due to acid rain regulations, the burning was cleaner. anyway growl

burn baby burn

Robin Marks is the invented the moon.
Or, is it, Robin Marks discovered the moon.

Well, some guy discovered oxygen. How do you discover oxygen?
Like, wasn't it there already.

Okay, I could not have created the moon, nor did I discover it since it's always been there.

So, the correct statement is, Robin Marks developed the correct moon hypothesis.

We are the mother to the moon. Just as we are the stuff from the sun.
We are the stuff that is ejected.
We all come from the same source.
We are entropy.

a reply to: PennyQ

just to the right of the red circle are two lakes, Lac a L'eau Claire. Canadian Geological Survey was there in the late 80s and had their funding cut. They confirmed that the two lakes are meteor impact sites. I think the east coast near NB and PEI is one as well. Pretty sure René-Levasseur Island QC is as well. I don't know why it is such a big thing for them to be keeping it quiet, unless there are some sort of weird elemental traces that they want kept under wraps. Oh, maybe alien life! That would be neat.

If you are posting an image of the circles for my tattoo, I am pre-thanking you.