All my conspiracies led to this

Me and my family had to make a lot of sacrifices cause of the ruling elite. However long they want to mess around or whatever, 3 years being tortured by neighbors before that institutionalizations and forced anti-psychotics. It seems stupid for songs on a cd, real life. I felt nothing showing my wounds or baring myself repeatedly, this is my reckoning. Mr. self destruct. Maybe if I didnt used to wear that Anarchy bandana they think they can do this to me and think nothing of it. More important things to think about in the world than red carpet, Hannah Montana right Em. Truman show product placemant and makin money, Mabus sayin he owns the world. Alone in my house , well I finished high school and live off disability? What a waste. If I didnt try to appeal make this go away or give them free reign instead of sayin to all who opposed me try to kill or insult do your dance sing your song then shut the F*** up already. In 20 years youll regret the chances not takin getting caught up in this instead of livin your life. In 20 years if your back to livin your real life youll regret a lot of things at least you made damn sure they didnt get away with this , at what cost burn the whole thing down. Misdirection and too many things can go wrong. If any of this is real they couldnt of sent one email. Its not my lifes work its the masons or musicians or whatever. They had to come after me and couldnt let things be for what nothing looks pretty stupid now. Just know fans of music or people I used to know I didnt want any of this wasnt told was what going on didnt want to waste a lot of time getting caught up in this and how was I supposed to know make sacrifices right and left just keep going all for the cause . Make yourself a machine less than human. Hopefully this will pass too. Music is a beautiful thing just getting ripped apart for young drug addicts personal gain or business proposal. I just didnt want to blur the lines or politics try to say what side I have been on. All this because I didnt have a girlfriend in high school , a massive head injury then this you know great working for you people.

[edit on 26-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

reply to post by P. O. W.


Perhaps you should look into going back to the institution and accept those anti-psychotic drugs?

No offense, but your stream of conscious ramblings don't make you out to be of sound mind.

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding you, your post doesn't seem to have any sort of meaning at all though...and what do musicians have to do with anything?

WoW!! How did you get out of the Asylum? With a Key?

You need to go back, Buddy. Seriously. You'll get all the help you need there.. Ask 'em to give you double the dose of whatever drugs you're on because the dose you're on now isn't working.

reply to post by DirtyPete


I must be going crazy then, because I understood it. Then again, I've read so much Internet speech that I can understand almost anything.

What I gather is that the OP suffers from some mental disability and is mad at those who have made fun of him. He doesn't like the way his neighbors and people around him focus on petty crap like television, football, etc., when there are more important things, and in 20 years, America will be so far gone that when we do wake up and see the truth for what it is, it will be too late to do anything about it -- most of humanity will be so emotionless and apathetic that any small resistances will be squashed in a flash.

In a way, I wish I was like the OP. It'd be much easier to live in an insane asylum with all my needs taken care of than slowly lowering my frog legs in the boiling pot day after day knowing that in the end, I'll be cooked.

If you want to know what the meaning of life is.... hold your breath untill it comes to you

If you cant find a reason to live for yourself, live for the protection and teaching of those around you.

Thanks for replying all of you , sometimes I would just rant and just wanted to add this. I was going to post this it was late and slowly slip away queitly. I was careful about what I said and how I said it cause of being in the mental health system and not complete freedom of speech. I was the one that caused the huge problem here on this site in summer of 08 if people saw it or didnt. Put this online where it can be found for people in the know. I am sorry if I sound rash or fresh at times I was trying to deal with a lot of things bothering me. I made this big long scene in front of everybody and my neighbors still carry on say "youre a joke" , compared to who or what in your society of people who use to sit at certain tables. Just frustrated my life spent getting better or detoured maybe because of this. Sometimes not really a formula to look for in music but red flags they set off of relativity that maybe only I can see or decipher or people who know some of what is going on. It shouldnt of mattered anyway. Just trying to get out of anything here I said or did really quick that was misinterupreted that was not my intent. I have been taken out of my mind for awhile or taken for a ride and sometimes I curse terets or obsenities yelling out as a way of dealing with it, if anyone hears me or knows of this through secret double life I am sorry I got strung out and tired a lot and a lot of times couldnt really deal appropriately with what was going on. And whatever if they in music keep with the androgny card or did in the past , I tried to quit paying attention and appeal if anything was going on after my high school graduation that could look columbinish or whatever. Yeah , bought MGMT's cd and clearly I mean clearly nothing is going on or ever was. (sarcacism)

***SLEEPWALKING***

[edit on 26-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I dont have telepathic powers , I have a CPU chip in my brain a spy gun in the house next to my room connected to a series of walkie talkies or speakers of some sort always surrounded by 4 houses of neighborhood kids younger than me, well thats 24 months of mental problems I am never going to get back. In South Park the robot dog says to Eric"using time phone to alter the past is illegal" and he says" like I care". You know we would all like it if you relocated out of the neighborhood "Like I care". My life has been destroyed serveral different ways several times over connected to being almost martry and scamegoat making an @$% out of self in front of everybody and prove I am not elitist by airing personal stuff of dirty laundry. The freemasons or illuminati , thats great going into year 4 of this , this by now doesnt reach any men in black but seen it on TV, you know I am probably not going to ever get a girlfriend ever again , connected to huge long car crash slow down as drive by, go to sleep in anarchy , wake up and its ground hog day , well I narrowly escaped certain death. Four years and she cant walk across her room and unplug the sound gun. I am trying to stop posting , I know working hard or hardly working.
I was talking to myself about 5 or 6 years before they showed up because I was convinced I was being watched by the government. I told them my story I was innocent of being a columbiner then tried to appeal 05 after over 2 years court ordered to do stuff to be allowed outside an institution (AOT). I was talking to them yesterday (the neighbors I guess its like college radio) and said from Behold a Pale Horse "occupationally orphaned children, emotionally damaged and have a great emptiness inside them that someone is sure to pay a great deal for". It also talks about the illuminati and freemasons and some music has been messed up for awhile , and if you look for clues elsewhere. My head was messed up in the past and wasnt working 100% normal , now its like cyborg or AI movie or terminator.

[edit on 31-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

reply to post by P. O. W.


Friend lay off the sodas and all that other chemical enhanced crap.

Sounds to me you have Aspartame Induced Psychosis.

I have been seeing it on this forum a lot recently.

I swear all of what I say is true, I have this double life I am not allowed to talk about.

Is there a main point to grasp in your posts? It seems your mind is skipping around from subject to subject.

OP: I have no idea what you're talking about, but that's fine. MGMT is a good group. Hope they win a Grammy tonight.

There is a point to my posts , but a lot of times maybe all loosely connected to my other threads. They were all sort of strun together and I have been sort of discombobulated. I sort of needed to just put things in print sometimes give them light of day in an almost infinite internets. Mostly just me complaining about things sometimes trying to ask for help fightin the system. I have no doubt in my mind my mental illness was originally a fraud being contacted through the television wink wink nodge nodge maybe had wire taps here. I was tracking some sort of relativity I thought columbiner copycat in music ran from it cause I was freaked out , thought hold a false idol or figurehead up and amass troops. All of my life has been in the shadow of whatever may be going on. On their cd say "I got the hand shake in the tongue or something and considering maybe truman show we are going to run with this idea that maybe imploded like Apollo 12 or 13 on take off.
When I was just a boy I got into an accident , complete amnesia 3 strokes and body paralyzed. So my time in high school was spent rehabilitating the physical and mental , like a mirror shattered into a million little pieces with a crack looking at it. Last summer I was told in maybe so many ways that I got attacked maybe castrated and a scar on my wrist and read about the phophecy of a near fatal head injury. I have been going in circles for almost ten years in 10 pysch wards for a total of about 9 months and going in and out of partials and program. A possible truman show paralyzed kid with them deciding my guilt and assuming it would be a good idea I served an amount of time or did community service whiloe everybody pretends it is not real.
I have stood in their shadow dealed with all the bad from it putting together complex math equations: for instance Silent Hill 1-4, the 1st a young girl burned alive soul splits in 2 older waking coma nightmare younger innocence got away purgatory good and evil exist in this town to balance but it is like a hell on earth beckoning people to it, the 2nd a husband with a dead wife who he finds out smothered her cause she was dying of illness a clone watches killed 3 times in front of him can do nothing "I know why I was brought here to be punished" metaphors or art symbolism can go over the top, the 3rd the newborn comes back end of first after Samuel a demon god was summoned by bringing the two halves together tries to escape, the 4th a guy gets locked in his room chained from inside a tunnel appears and ghosts of undead as he travels the solitary isolation. Could all these ideas be the same from different angles Konami japan I think but I was always left broken putting the pieces together doing the math discovering more as I go.
I "see" thing things I probably shouldnt if I over analyze things. The music had some repercussions before 05 when I was looking and trying to build a map of 200 cds so I could better understand what was going on. If their are freemasons or illuminati or New World Order or whatever you wanna call it the pyramid or third eye on the 1 $ bill how extensive and where would it show up. I was a broken mind healing and thrown away to a system where youre reprimanded on spoken word my life has always been in shambles while I have been in their shadow and now sometimes my neighbors are breaking my back and maybe came here cause I felt like I had freedom of speech. They play these repetive games at times call me a "lesbian" sometimes, like an Insane Clown Posse lyric "how can you come in my s*** and just f*** it up" reminding me why I had to go on quest why I am not allowed to have nice things and they are here because of the music. Caused problems for 3 years disgusting problems in the hospital a theif while sleeping and I am just really pissed off sometimes and venting here I was trying to stop coming to this site in the past just they dont stop.

Listening to music or having to deal with neighbors and a lot of messed up things in life, I think their is a Rage Against the Machine lyric "Ignite, Ignite, Ignite" you know whatever its not my money why would they do anything in music to curse me for life?

Sorry for the paragraphs I dont know the angst sometimes, just a lot of things in my life why do I have to deal with this, the neighbors the columbine thing mental illness and sort of made my life a mockery here cause my neighbors wouldnt stop after 14 months of every day. Music is a beautiful thing concepts or ideas thinking they sent subliminals case in point Operation Mindcrime underground revolution working overtime or Bionic Jive a gov. conspiracy to murder me.
I am just a young adult in my house I dont know how or why sort of kept getting detoured for almost 10 years from a normal life and my uncle died today of cancer , I was just thinking all over the place and sort of having a midlife crisis or something and closed doors or windows thinking of my life in entireity I went to high school after head messed up then got involved in the mental health system like a revolving door, I never even had a legitimate illness I was just a rebellious youth and pursuing the court case here if it could reach the feds or anyone who could check or do something about it, I talk to the cops my story might fall apart and I might sound crazy.
[edit on 31-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 31-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

you need to learn how to create paragraphs, otherwise its impossible to read

well, why would someone bothers to %#@@# with your life, I mean, its not like you mean something to elite people, its not like you are a good speech-man or whatever ... I mean, get your paragraphs corrected, its painful to read

I am not being a bad person, I am just saying, it looks like you think everything happening in the world is happening because of you or something related to you somehow, just put in your head that most of the people dont give a $5 to you ... so calm down

[edit on 31-1-2010 by Faiol]

You got a lot of classic schizophrenic symptoms man.
Try to stay on your medication because it will help you.
You may think they don't take away the symptoms but they do more help than if you didn't take them at all.
I'm not schizophrenic myself but come from a family of mental health practitioners.

I dont have schizophernia, the people in the house came after me cause they thought I was a criminal, the proof is in the music. Today I heard blow job, there was nothing that happened "sprayed" and I have their names permanetly engraved in my mind forever. If they think they can do that and get away with it , one brothers or cousins ripped me off with money when I was floatey after "accident" the other set me up for the copycat if he wants to experiment with me when I am asleep and I wake up with pants unzipped and I am tripping out cause of telepathic powers kinda feel sorry for, the other has a wife and small child. My neighbors showed up cause of the music and I guess I am here today to commend the freemasons really, I tried tripping out on wormwood you put it in alcohol I think it makes absinthe the stuff van gogh was on 1900s when he made theose paintings, I dont know about 0s or 100s if this guy had a hallucination on wormwood and visions. My neighbors have been harassing me for going into 4 years now think I am the devil or his son I guess named anti all because of the music and a great idea by the freemasons.

I have to put this here cause by now 2 years this is how I communicate with where I live or the pop tarts on tv.

I put a link to goth talk in my posts or threads before. All I am saying is maybe we should all stop messing with the freaked out goth kid. Trapped in breakfast club in high school , I dont really know anything about religion not to offend the religious rite, but if my neighbors think this looks like revelations and I am the one to blame I dont know what they are doing in music I stopped paying attention mostly but something changed in 05 to music after that I have. And I dont know a phophecy, you know maybe no one can see a future that hasnt happened yet.

And yeah it sucks I had to go on mission, the girlfreind thing wasnt going to happen anyway , but powers telepathic a la professor X like biblical damnation cause a scene in front of every one find out friends are really enemies with secret identies and say I was super gay after high school and got gang molested now this, stop messing with the gothed out kid I mean dam*it what the he**.
[edit on 2-2-2010 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 2-2-2010 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 2-2-2010 by P. O. W.]

I just wanted to add this to the edit, when I was walking across the street I heard blow job people laughing and freak trash. Then I saw 2 firetrucks which is a perfect reason to not continue my posts on a conspiracy theorist site. Because I know there is a war going on and other people probably have a lot more problems then me. Just before I came here not being able to deal or feeling like hurting self or keep being put into psych cause I didnt know what was going on if anything and I was sort of nerves got to me. After I came here for awhile remeber staying awake and guarding the house at night cause I thought people wanted to hurt me or my family. I kept saying sorry months ago cause I know religion is sacred and wasnt sure how what I said or wrote might be interrupted.

Its just I wanted to feel like I had freedom of speech and I assumed maybe I was getting made fun of in music if a copycat thing got on their radar, its all open to interuptation music means something different to everybody. I thought that there was a huge public outcry of animosity against me and people we gonna get me or something in music if I tried to piece together a possible copycat. Now looking back should of maybe relaxed and not let whatever the red carpet or musicians do or say get to me.I have been all over the place in my head maybe a little hazing in isolation sort of in the past if I came here to much or used this as a release or therapy , just to write things down. I wasnt really sure what happened I was sort of out of my mind and I dont like to think about it, but some things arent possible. Like columbine some people just snap, I sort of made reference to the joker who could maybe be considered sociopathic or crazy or deranged, and what could lead someone down that path or how you might get like that. I am sorry about meandering around in the past just felt like getting input everywhere I went and my world was sorta crashing down cause I didnt know what to think.

[edit on 3-2-2010 by P. O. W.]

I just wanted to put this here, I will completely drop and posts about illuminati or getting caught up in conspiracy theries. Maybe in 6 months or so I can get a radar gun and post video if it is possible with an implant (brain pacemaker) to listen to quiet thoughts. I heard on the radio the other day this guy was talking about conspiracies regarding Kurt Kobains death and said the last 3 years probably had to do with the song "About a Girl".. . -but I cant see you everyday, I do , I do- trying to listen to all the words very carefully to understand the complexities of his depression and his art. I know when he was younger he had a problem with this young girl who was disabled and "sunburn from a bird" and hearing "mary, beary" in some songs or listening very closely to a lot of his words. In the future maybe get another name I now I bother people with presence and crazy politics connected to in the past , and maybe read a few books so I have more to add. I know no one wants to hear me ramble on in frustration trying to wrap my head around possibilities and "beat a dead horse". If I can listen to my thoughts with a spy sound gun and get video I just thought that might be something worthy of seeing or posting. And I made it almost a month without bothering people here with my nonsense , or just wanting to put something permanetly online.

*edit* I was on in the first time in 3 or 4 weeks just to read and check up on some friends I know here. I just casually put this here thinking if anyone I know might find it , I know I shouldnt of maybe poor taste. Its just I really dont see a connection between the war and everything that went on and whatever may or may not be in music videos. I dont know if this was always an undercurrent in my life trying to decript possibilities of what might be going on or any special ops or black ops stuff that I am not really sure. I made a fool of myself my neighbors were really making fun of me on a daily basis , having a midlife crisis stranded in the middle of nowhere with uncertain future. I didnt use proper etiquette and didnt speak or write politely or coherently. And I was just doing an expose about the system considering many aspects or what was going on and just had angst or frustration at the system. Sometimes I just wanted to put stuff online somewhere to feel like I had a voice, or ideas I would never get around to publish see the light of day. I was just in a really bad place in my head fatigued or exhausted sometimes while trying to guard my thoughts in hazing. I didnt expect anyone to purruse my threads or I guess really know what I meant cause I was doing my own investigation for almost a decade. And sometimes just writing thoughts not really thinking how they may be read. Sorry for causing problems , I know sometimes my presence bothers people or things I say criticized in other threads.

[edit on 25-2-2010 by P. O. W.]

reply to post by P. O. W.


I have read through your posts, I dont want to turn around and blurt out anything about any disibilities you might have or other things.

Forgive me if I lack understanding but if you are saying you have another life that you are not supposed to talk about, maybe thats whats causing you problems because you are constantly focusing on the past instead of moving forward. It seems to me that ATS is a form of release for you if this is building up.

Why not leave this old way of life behind and focus on whats important, enjoying life and making progress with it, in essence, learning new things through good experiences. ATS will always be here as you know if you ever needed to speak about things.

It pains me to see someone caught up like you are as it looks to me like you are really hung up on focusing in the past, many people get stuck like this be it with or without mental health problems etc.

I dont really know if thats even going to help, I wish there was an easier way of what I am trying to say.

Good luck for the future.

uh thanks double life spy game, thanks for your kind words I was just going to start screaming cause my neighbors kept me up till 5:30 in the morning and their stupid little childrens game has almost been going on for 3 full years. I know this isnt the place to get help ,tommorrow I am calling the cops. Just felt herded by the masses like a leeper sometimes, I dont have the same rights or oppurtunities as everyone else and on this site sometimes problems when I post. I just had to live this with the music 10 years right out of high school a generation thing. My neighbors showed up cause its all real , 05 changed the current in popular music and so did 08 whjen I appealed for rights and freedom . I know almost everything I wrote to be true since I came here, but I had to live it most people dont contribute time or energy researching. Their is this book called behold a pale horse about government secrets and some of their stuff ties in.

XXXN30 I have read many posts of your s in the past and respect your opinions and thank you for your kind words. If you havent noticed what people talk but dont talk about in other threads since summer of 08. The music thing and illuminati threads and people hate NWO. Also noticed a lot of interesting pictures show up in avatars, take yours for instance Neo with Terminator sunglasses and eye and 3 Xs could be roman numerals for 30 than an "N" (what could that possibly stand for) then 30 . 30 is a significant number if you think of the bible and when jesus showed up. Sorry if I caused any offense that was never my intention just a quick examination. I quit this site for over 3 weeks then came back to spy on 10 or 15 people I guess I would consider friends and maybe shouldnt of posted on this. I was trying to let go of things and stop focusing on the illuminati or other things and thinking I should drop name completely if I were ever to come back and assimilate. This is a great site I was just burdened by a lot of negativity cause of crazy politics years ago or whatever I got caught up in when I first came here. Thank you for your advice I will take it to heart. I was just thinking that in the future if I had tape of implants brain pacemakers 30,000 already in people and I had a hole drilled in skull when in a coma to stop bleeding. And if you have something that can pick up tiny little sounds hear thoughts cause of implant sends and receives electrical signals, then I would be the first in the world to make that discovery.

OK I was drinking , saturday 1:30, I just got back from a midnight stroll through town to get cigarettes and white castle, ( I think onions might be good for your lungs in comparison to cancer) and I was just thinking of writing something. Some people may know about things, I am not crazy about some of the things I may have posted, someone put " I cant believe that dunce is part of NWO" I read what people say sometimes when they dont think I am looking.
I really wish I had a car walking through town people say why is he still living here or youre gonna get your @$s beat , from the ir cars , yeah real intimidating I can use my mouth too, can you lift 250 over your head and did you just buy a glass bottle , pathetic. I also , mainly wanted to come here to apologize just venting sometimes , when I first came here my neighbors were flanking me I even wrote some threads about maybe having telepathic powers, they had a spy gun hooked up to walkie talkies in about 4 or 5 houses trying to push me off the edge of sanity and get me in trouble with psych docs.
I might have talked about a stigma attached to my name , what I came here for originally the music thing or sometimes maybe being disgusting sometimes, I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown and wanted some sort of justice and just venting. Someone emailed me and I thought if some of my threads might have seemed self centered , I was really going through a tough spot sometimes dont think of the community here and some people only know me by what I write. My neighbors carry on everyday and if I got stranded without a car or a job if it might be hazing or heard it called their nazi game by someone who was not me, just coming here writing everything down was a release or break from being stuck here every day with them and I thought I might be able to use this in a criminal case against them.
I know pushing it on the internets for anyone to read wasnt the right thing . Just for 2 years felt like I had an outta body experience, they screwed things up with this girl I wanted to date and found out later she wasnt married and might have been looking forward to it and really gay stuff happened in the hospital around me because of my neighbors and breakfast club. This was just my statements to whoever sometimes or sending written word into space, sorta like newman from seinfeld with a bucket over his head and hands tied "just tell the world my story" saying to Kramer.
I should just grow up and if I want ananimity in the community to talk on threads to whoever without backlash just change my name , I know I F' up and I am attached to big F' up. Thank you for your time I know some local people and people I knew a lifetime ago might be keeping tabs on me.