Toilet tissue kills

I thought everyone showered AFTER they did their business... I mean anything else would just be well, gross. I make sure I wash thoroughly...

Never would've thought wiping your ass could lead to your demise.
Sounds like something the CIA would use to eliminate a target.
An explosive ass wipe.

reply to post by RestingInPieces


As much as we enjoy thinking that EVERYTHING we come into contact with contains chemicals of sorts and is a part of the plan to "kill" human kind, I think this is a little much.

I mean, come on now, you posed a question and then in your next post gave your own answer and now you act like it's fact.

Let's take the tin foil hats off for a moment. If this was actually happing, we'd have heard about it from somebody, there would be tests done or would have been done at some point or another.

I mean how long have we been using toilet paper for? What is toilet paper made from? Let's take a look.

Modern toilet paper may have a light coating of aloe or lotion or wax worked into the paper to reduce roughness. Quality is usually determined by the number of plies (stacked sheets), coarseness, and durability. Low grade institutional toilet paper is typically of the lowest grade of paper, has only one or two plies, is very coarse and sometimes has small amounts of unbleached/unpulped paper embedded in it. Mid-grade two ply is somewhat textured to provide some softness, and is somewhat durable. Premium toilet paper may have lotion and wax, and has two to four plies made of very finely pulped paper.

From Wiki.

Now before we get on the whole let's bash Wiki type deal, I think we can trust them with something as simple as toilet paper.

Bring some evidence forth that it contains more that what is listed above, and then perhaps it will be a conspiracy theory. Then again, being in skunk works that sort of nonsense isn't required.

Rest easy my friend, wipe with pride.

~Keeper

reply to post by macssam


So you use water to wash your arse when you've had a crap...?

A bidet? Or do you just dip your hand in the water and wash your arse with your hand or a flannel.................................?

At least the toilet paper goes down the toilet.

I imagine the non toilet paper users in this thread hanging their arses into their wash basins and then having to force excrement down the plug hole!!!!!


Ha ha ha ! ! !

You are a funny lot!

Why stop at toilet paper, why not put it in toothpaste(the mouth absorbs chemicals fast) and yes I know about fleuoride. I'm not saying there are no cancer causing chemicals in toilet paper but what's the significance of isolating one item out of a thousand that might be killing us. If people won't stop drinking water which has fleuoride there not going to stop cleaning their butts with toilet paper.

Just so you know I agree with your reasoning and logic I just don't know why you chose this perticular product? All the same 10 points for effort. Keep up the good work.

I think we should consider this quite seriously.
The CIA have rigged toilet paper with TNT in the past.

Wipe..wipe....BOOM!

reply to post by RestingInPieces


I use the seashells, myself..

50 points to anyone who can name that movie.

[edit on 21-11-2009 by Ghostt]

reply to post by RestingInPieces

Thinking tobacco was sometimes imbibed anally or as an enema. The effects may even have been first noted when some prehistoric human used a few leaves for wiping.
Perhaps the tobacco companies could make nicotine laced loo paper as a tobacco replacement to help smokers to quit?
Workers could then kill two birds with one stone during toilet breaks.

reply to post by Ghostt


The 3 seashells, Demolition Man.

How do you use those?

Are we that hard up for a topic that we post this? And it is on the front page? What is wrong with people that S&F this post. Ridiculous to the max. Sorry. Thumbs down!

reply to post by nepafogo


ATS has become a joke. You might as well have a laugh. In all seriousness its not that bad i have seen far worse threads get put on the front page.

That is so odd you posted this because I've had this discussion in a joking manner a couple times over the past couple years. I have commented more than once I should get a job with a TP company because at least I'd know that sales would never dwindle lol and employment would be steady.... it would be a good way to infect if any............

Yeah, I'd imagine toilet paper manufacturers enjoy healthy profits.
I'd imagine it's relatively inelastic in response to external factors.
I mean everybody's got to wipe their ass, right?
Definitely a profitable wee niche in the market.

And on that note this entire thread should just be locked.


Edit note: Note; edit.






[edit on 21-11-2009 by IrnBruFiend]

It's almost surprising to see the many replies of defeatism: "What ELSE are we going to do but wipe paper on ourselves?"

I also think it might be worthwhile to check if the toilet paper coming from the manufacturer is covertly delivered to a storage/processing location for deliberate contamination?

Most of these products do go to large storage warehouses before being shipped to individual retail chains.

It seems that infiltrating a manufacturing facility and secretly putting a tracking device on a box or two to monitor it's complete move down the supply chain would provide strong evidence for or against this theory.

Otherwise, I fear that we are just taking the "official" story in regards to toilet paper.

Myself, I've not done this tracking procedure as of yet and rely on a 16-stage reverse osmosis filtered custom bidet system. Mind you, it didn't come cheap, but it's what we have to do to insure our personal safety.

reply to post by RestingInPieces


Are you serious? Your using reverse osmosis filtration on your arse? Your joking right? The food you eat has more carcinogenic compounds than toilet paper? If your so scared to wipe your butt and have to use reverse osmosis filtered water to wash your arse, do you walk around in a space suit to avoid germs and other form of bacterium? Where do you draw the line? Anyway, what are you trying to do? live forever? We all gotta go sometime man. try to relax a bit you will live longer.

I think stress will kill you long before arse cancer does. Anyway this thread just became pointless im out.

This thread contains no evidence. Not even an ATTEMPT at providing any.

why the hell is it at the top of the ATS page? WHY?

reply to post by RestingInPieces

Any type of tree-based paper would become a green issue, especially as Western culture and diet spreads. It has been established earlier in the thread that different cultures have different customs, sometimes religiously guided. The obvious question thus arises: What would Jesus use?

reply to post by halfoldman


I don't know about Jesus, but the ancient egyptians used to mummify with Scott Toilet Tissue.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/c67d79915700.jpg[/atsimg]

One good toilet paper mummy is more dangerous than 150 zombies, imho.

Originally posted by TiM3LoRd
reply to post by RestingInPieces

 

Are you serious? Your using reverse osmosis filtration on your arse? Your joking right? The food you eat has more carcinogenic compounds than toilet paper? If your so scared to wipe your butt and have to use reverse osmosis filtered water to wash your arse, do you walk around in a space suit to avoid germs and other form of bacterium? Where do you draw the line? Anyway, what are you trying to do? live forever? We all gotta go sometime man. try to relax a bit you will live longer.

I think stress will kill you long before arse cancer does. Anyway this thread just became pointless im out.

Would you rather I use fluoride water and municipal water supply water that contains hundreds of household drugs and chemicals that ARE NOT filtered out by municipal filtration?

I'm not stressed out over toilet paper. Why would I be?

I DON'T EVEN USE IT.

reply to post by heyo


HAHAHA... Havent wiped my ass since! god youre cool, do i know you from somewhere? As far as infected toilet paper? Dont give the NWO any ideas... The only tp id be worried about using is the scented kind. Who the hell is that conceited to use that stuff anyway... 'Hey, just wiped, wanna smell my ass? Guess what flavor i just used!!!' Dumbest Sh_t ive ever heard of. Think about it, if your hole stinks so bad you have to spend money on Scented tp, then you should go see a doctor about your anal sepage... What are we dogs? do we sniff eachother on a daily basis to make us NEED Scented TP??? Anyhow, poisoned TP, the craziest thing ive heard of... i mean REALLY? Have we become So paranoid we have to worry about poisoned sh_t-tickets? Think of all the people youre scaring so bad with this, who will never know what a clean bunghole feels like anymore... If youre that concerned about it, wipe w/ pinecones, i hear they give you a clean pine scent and a nice little scratch scratch...