I May Be Spending Christmas In Jail

Yep, it's a joke. A bad one.

I always wanted to form a fathers group that had teeth. One where we couldn't be drowned out by small numbers or fouled by trying to believe and work through a system that doesn't give a flying (foul word here) about setting us free or the actual welfare of the children.

Grin. Just waiting for enough of the downtrodden and angry to get hungry and mad.

Something does trouble me though. There is a pattern here. Not just concerning divorced fathers. I see it in every day manipulation of people. One group being empowered and overpowered over another unjust and unfair. They do it with political groups. With peoples of nations. You name it. Always keep them divided. Always keep the contention alive.

That way when "they" let the pendulum swing and the other side becomes empowered there is "payback" and a whole new reason for one side to hate the other. Could it be the devil? Perhaps. It is evil people at work though. How sad is it though that the people cannot see their part in being played??

That last is something I ask myself every day. Why won't these masses of people just stop the lemming run. All you have to do is stop. Why can't they just have faith in what is written upon the heart. So many hollow shells of personality which are imitations of some flawed ideal put to them via other hollow people. And people know what is right and wrong. The horror of our lives today is people "choosing" to do wrong to preserve themselves. Screw everybody else, it's about them. Might explain the divorce rate and increasingly wayward children. Might explain our damaged economy and our livelihood robed blind.

Heh heh... But this is about the OP's situation. Hell, if you believe in their rules you are screwed. Plain and simple. We need to make some new rules and have a show of solidarity. But, alas, that won't happen because men are cowboys. Alone and individually they embrace life and solve their problems. Hence, we are screwed, boned, (bad word here) right now! We need something to cause people to become conscious again.

reply to post by jtma508


The main thing to remember is that you must keep the new family together and that you and your wife must be on the same page. Personally, I'd try to see if I could get an extension of some sorts, and if I couldn't I'd sit in jail.

Why not go to jail?

Write a book (or have one written for you) about your life from the moment you fathered a child to the day you get out of prison.

With some marketing wizz and a good publisher you could make enough money that you would never need to work again. Never have to be concerned for your child's economic futures either.

I support you and totally understand it, for what its worth it ^^

Too bad that in my case my dad is an absolutely insensible idiot like so many aroudn here are...he paid the very very minimum of child support, immediately stopped in when I got to 21 and never bothered to see to all the "other" extra needs, even when my mother begged for it...and yes, she was pretty reasonable with him ^^


Men OR Women tend to go beserk on either side of the coin....I think thats the great weak spot from having a dual-sex system

It is no one's responsibility to be a provider for another that has chosen to move on, eternally, by law. You are your own responsibility and the world owes you nothing whatsoever.

reply to post by jtma508


I'm sorry to hear that. May I congratulate you on the fact that you are now married to a great woman? Man, she went through all of that with you.

Second, what I would do is to pay your bitch of an ex the money so you don't have to go to jail. If you go to jail, everything might be over. But if you don't, you have a chance of regaining all your property. Houses and money and business are all materials, which can be regained. What happened if you go to jail? What about your wife? What will happen to you in jail? If your wife stood by your side all those times, she might as well stand by you even if you don't have your house. Anyways, the choice is yours.

Please consider the situation greatly. You are a great father. I don't know how you married your nasty ex in the first place.

i am SO sorry to hear that. i can't believe your ex is such a backstabbing b#. try to get your daughter to speak on your behalf. she could testify, and tell the court how pathetic and horrible her mother is, what with her not even wanting to help her OWN DAUGHTER with COLLEGE! my heart goes out to you.

I'm very surprised that this thread was moved into BTS. If the Family Court System is not perpetrating a conspiracy against men and fathers then there is no such thing as conspiracies.

I went to court on Dec 10th. As I said, I did not have the $2500 to pay to me ex (irrespective as to whther or not she deserves anything). My current wife and I had just --- and I mean JUST --- gotten accepted into loan modifications to stop the foreclosure of our home. Her attorney again made the case that I was purposely not working and asked that I be found in contempt. I again explained thet I had paid for her college and was aggressively seeking work (which is backed-up by my probation officer's report of the same).

A couple other wrinkles came up as well. I pointed out that my daughter was paying her mother $100/mo to cover the cost of her car insurance (which was on her mother's policy). So not only was she NOT receiving support FROM her mother, SHE was actually paying money TO her mother, My ex's attorney stood upo and sai that was not true. He called my daughter a liar and in the process lied to the court (lawyers can do that you know). He also pointed out that I was paying for my daughter's cellphone. Which is true. My ex kept taking it away and sent my daughter back to college without a phone. The university, like most, notifies students of security situations via text. I though it was irresponsible to send her back to school without a phone.

The judge said that he couldn't start considering like-kind payments or it would turn into chaos (as if paying $20k for your child's eductaion is like some number of Happy Meals). He then ordered me taken into custody to serve 30 days in county lock-up.

I was handcuffed, brought to the basement holding facility in the courthouse where I was searched. I was allowed to call my wife so I could get her to make arrangements to retrieve my car from the garage. I was then re-cuffed and put in a cell to await transportation to county jail.

It's important for me to popint out that my current wife suffers from PTSD. She really can't be alone in the house --- most especially at night. When I called her on the phone she got panicky and, as I was to later fiond out, emptied her checking account and borrowed money from her boss to get me out of jail. The problem is, that money was our January mortgage payments for our recently saved home and our December utilities.

So I'm not in jail for Christmas. But we're almost certainly going to default on our hard-fought modification. My wife is pared being alone in the house and for Christmas and my two adult children miss-out on the most memorable Christmas ever: visiting their dad in jail.

One last amazing factoid: At no point was the other xide required to provide any proof whatsoever of the amount that I allegedly owed. They just came-up with a number and it was accpeted on face value. Despite my protesttaions that I had provided proof (canelled checks) that over $1200 had been paid and not acocunbted, that their amount included $1800 that was paid by my daughter's college loan and included $750 for college where I had paid almost $20k. And the mods feel there is no conspiracy? Seriously??

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. During the day tomorrow I'll again be outside (probably shoveling snow) since the road trash we usually pick up during 'Community Service' will be covered. Last week we were picking trash sub-20deg temperatures. Merry Christmas indeed.

Bro, I know that this post is probably no consolation but consider my plight and compare it with your own.

I will have to spend my Christmas with 5 demons from the depths of hell,
certified handmaidens of Satan and to call them 'evil' is being complementary. They are my GF's mother and sisters.
I will be forced to pretend that I'm having a good time and that I am actually interested in their converstions. There will be no excape for old whaaa.

Pray for me, please!!

I wish I could be in jail!!

reply to post by jtma508


how did you get caught up with this bitch? how?

this story just keeps getting worse and worse, sadder and sadder.

i am now TOTALLY infuriated with that F# wh0r3, and how she is trying with all her might to make sure that you go to jail.

and taking her daughter's phone away? when she goes to a college where security notifications are administered via text message? it seems like your ex is trying to get the people in your family KILLED! she AND her lawyer should go to jail for purjury!

again, i totally feel for you bro, peace.

reply to post by Apollumi


Really? I have about 5 single female friends right now doing everything they can to make ends meet and care for their children while the dads have dissappeared.

reply to post by jtma508


I am so sorry. There is nothing I can really say.

i have been raked by the court system myself.

I would write to your paper. I would write to your Congressman. (yes something can come out of it)

and see if you can apply to legal aid.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I know nixie... and I think that sort of behavior is repugnant in the extreme. Anyone can make a baby it takes a real man to be a father. I get that. But if you've read my post you'll clearly see that there are women in the system that are in it for the money. Only for the money and couldn'ty give a rat's ass about the kids. I can guarantee you this: if there hadn't been money attached to those kids I would have had them given to me YEARS ago. And that's if she ever would have taken them in the first place.

A father needs to take care of his KIDS. Absolutely! But no way in HELL should the ex and her new hubby be living off the kids support money. No way in HELL.

[/rant over]

reply to post by jtma508


oh I agree. It sounds to me like she is suffering a mental disorder.

reply to post by nixie_nox


He [jtma508] did say she suffers from ptsd.

and yes i agree with jtma508 that there are women that are in it for the money.

i had an uncle that recently had his daughter given back to him from her worthless mother. she just dropped her [daughter] on my uncle's doorstep and said "here take her. i can't take care of her anymore."

sorry man,its not only the system that is wrong,its your ex! if it wasnt for your daughter i say let them take her home.

reply to post by LocoHombre


No. It's my current wife who suffers from PTSD. My ex suffers from something but I'm not sure what.