Women fail but they don't lose!

reply to post by concernedcitizan


I realize I sound bitter, but I'm telling the truth.

Not all women just put on make-up and hope for a rich husband, but there are quite a few who still do that, nothing wrong about talking about it. I don't hate all women at all.

That kind of reaction is what allows people to coast through life like that.

[edit on 17-9-2009 by FouL-LiveR]

[edit on 17-9-2009 by FouL-LiveR]

[edit on 17-9-2009 by FouL-LiveR]

reply to post by FouL-LiveR


I say more power to them.At least they know what they want and how to go about getting it.

reply to post by FouL-LiveR

There is some truth in what you say, but statements like these leave out immeasurable other truths.
Just as there are some men who marry for reasons others would not approve of.
Your statements suggest that work and pulling weight equals the values that women have. Or that women should value the same things as men, do the same things as men in order to balance.
There are women who love to have jobs, there are men who like to clean house, and these are all in the big book of truth.
The problem I have in your statements are any thing followed by "should" and/or "have to". Or implies there is a right or wrong way to live male female or otherwise.


[edit on 17-9-2009 by seagrass]

I want to politely apologize to the OP for jumping to conclusions myself and calling a rally post.

Please forgive me for judging so quickly.

- Mea

reply to post by SpiritoftheNightSky



Get out of the city and go for a walk in the woods/hills. If anyone needs a dose of Mother Earth its you.

Originally posted by SpiritoftheNightSky
When I speak of women as failures I speak of the woman that we are told we should be. Once woman were expected to be clones of June Cleaver then perfect little Stepford Wives. Today we are expected to be not just perfect mothers but perfect wives, perfect community workers, and perfect employees.

We are expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, serve it, wash the dishes and make great love to our man.

And for many of us if we don’t live up to the images of perfection that we are being bombard with then we are failures.

I think that this is something that women should fail at. I think that it is time we failed at trying to be the perfect anything and time that we recognize that being a woman goes beyond a simple definition.

This is not about men in any way. Though men often fall victim to the same brainwashing that women do. I guess that may be why some turn to the Viagra, dump their families and parade around with women that could be their daughters but their brainwashing is on a much different plane. When men fail they often see the problem from occurring from an outside force. Sometimes it is a bad boss but more often it is a bad wife or a bad mother.

Women on the other hand usually blame themselves or each other. Even if there was a bad father involved, the father may be spoken of harshly but the mother is thrown under the bus.

Women are failures because we are impossible to define except as a group and it is as it should be. Each woman is uniquely different and though we share many traits and attributes this only gives us a commonality; a sisterhood.

We can fail to meet the expectation but we don’t lose.

It wasn't a note that you hit after all, it was a nerve. A very raw one. Ouch.

Thank you. Food for thought indeed.

Originally posted by FouL-LiveR
Are you joking? I will say it is a lot easier to be a woman than a man. Woman are treated equal yet do not need to earn a living, they are equal to men, but do not need to do the work as a man. They can still just marry off and be happy. Men can't do this.

They act like objects, yet do not want to be treated like one.

It is not so much about the standards that others set for us, but those that we impose upon ourselves.

I have always worked, when I set up home with my ex-husband, I did all the traditional stuff too, then when we had a child I did all that too. My ex-husband, by that time, didn't work, didn't help with the house or our child, but someone still had to do those things, and I still had to work otherwise no roof over our heads. My ex-husband was abusive, emotionally and physically, gradually escalating, you barely notice it happening you have so much else to do and no time to really be alive and question. And yet, when I finished it, I still felt a failure, though I had done everything that I could possibly do. It has been twelve months since then. My ex-husband is still abusive, though I am more able to control my exposure to his outbursts, but I still feel like I am a bad mother because I don't want to be with the father of my child. Earlier this week, I finally said the three hardest words in the English language 'I need help'. I said them to my Mum, who'd've thought it'd be so hard to ask your Mum to help you, but it was, desperately so. Had I asked, a year ago, two years, five years, even ten years ago, things would have been easier a lot sooner, but pride stood in my way, shame even. How silly.

I offer a more extreme example, but men and women, all the time try to live up to unrealistic expectations that do not take into account individual circumstances. I am a failure, but losing would have been to stay with that man, ending up as a faceless statistic simply for the sake of appearances. And countless others do just that, for the sake of what the Jones' may say, they apply the concealer, paste on a smile, because it is one thing to be a failure in your own eyes, but often your strength comes from the sense of bearing your load with dignity and not letting the neighbours see your tears. And that is the curse of womanhood, we think because we can, we should. Not so.

If you have been burned by love, you are not the only one. I wrote some truly vicious and depressed things on a thread about transgenderism recently, because I hurting and I wanted to lash out at someone.

Just because one man I meet is only after sex, doesn't mean they all are. Whatever a woman did to you, it doesn't mean all women are evil.

Seriously, there is no shame in seeking out help.

Also, don't visit Stormfront, even for research purposes. The men their mostly think of women as broodmares, to be kept stupid and submissive. Not helpful right after some jerk uses you and...maybe I'm still not over this.

My point is that just randoming lashing out isn't going to make you feel better. You need to talk about this, with somebody.

reply to post by shamhat


But often the standards we impose on ourselves are echos of the standards others put upon us. Usually at a young age.

Originally posted by Watcher-In-The-Shadows
reply to post by shamhat

 

But often the standards we impose on ourselves are echos of the standards others put upon us. Usually at a young age.

Something about us agrees to those standards, otherwise we would laugh at what they are asking us to do. We have to take responsibility for those impositions.
We chose to honor them. Then we chose to look a little closer at why we believe that is the way we must be. You have to question everything you do, to look at the self motives behind following what we believe to be others self motives.
It requires being honest. It's hard to see when we have believed something was the "right" way to be. We never questioned whether it was wrong for us, but we beat our heads against the wall trying to do the right thing when it doesn't work.

Look closely at the shoulds and have tos.

reply to post by shamhat


Your children do have a father. YOU.
You have taken on the qualities of what a father means in our society.
You had to become what was missing.
If you should (and I mean that very lightly) feel guilty for anything, it was allowing yourself to have to work so hard, for putting yourself in that situation. But you gained something from it. Strength. And you know yourself better now.

I didn't have a "father" either, and my mother took on both roles.
I turned out ok.

reply to post by seagrass


Agreed wholeheartedly.

reply to post by seagrass


Trust me. Sometimes it's better that a father wasn't around. Based on the personality of the father at least. Same case with the mother at times. Mores the pity.

reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows

Fathers appear anyway. It seems the archetype finds its way into our lives regardless.
For me it was my grandfather, and my mother. A few step fathers and some men I respected.

reply to post by seagrass


Oh, yes, very true. But that is also true with a mother. I was thinking more of in the case of a one's biological father. There are times I wish he hadn't stuck around. Those are the times when I am feeling sorry for myself.

[edit on 20-9-2009 by Watcher-In-The-Shadows]

Double post. Opps.

[edit on 20-9-2009 by Watcher-In-The-Shadows]

Originally posted by Watcher-In-The-Shadows
reply to post by seagrass

 

Oh, yes, very true. I was thinking more of in the case of a one's biological father. There are times I wish he hadn't stuck around. Those are the times when I am feeling sorry for myself.

I understand completely, I feel sorry for myself way too much. I would go back and forth on that one. Wishing he was around, my real dad, and then taking it back just in case it would have been worse with him there.
There was no real way to tell.
I would make up fantasy outcomes both ways.

she got probably encountered with my ex lover, ehh


they all lie, dont give up yourself for anybody, they will screw you, suck your energy out and drop you like unvanted bag if you do

thats why never give up yourself...

and then they comes back begging


[edit on 20-9-2009 by angelx666]

reply to post by angelx666


Not all of us lie. I am sure you won't accept that as fact but I felt inclined to add that.

Originally posted by SpiritoftheNightSky


Today’s women are failures.

We like to think that we are smart.

We like to think that we are strong and we like to think that we are in control,

How much more can we lie to ourselves.

How bare can we be stripped?

How deep can we bury ourselves?

How much can we give away of ourselves before we realize that life, love and commitment is part of being the you that "you" develop. Not the part of the you that you have destroyed.

You are right, it's the truth. Women today are what you say they are, not all but most of them anyway. Fake, manipulative, but deep down inside they are just little girls so they try to become something else. If one will keep at being logical against all her arguments then she will soon be left without cover, in the end it would be just her the way she really is.

Women on the board may contradict me, it's just my opinion. My post is not about my ego , it's just what I think.

Women should be women, they should be spiritual beings, deep down they are but today society has turned them in to emotional whores.
There is no need for drama, for hit me with some negativity so I can love you or I'll get bored. There is only need for sunshine, happyness and love.

And then she will just say....Ohh you're in the friend zone...hahahha.

Then cry on cry on.
It's not your fault, some day you may understand all this, and you will become an intelectual woman, and you will learn to put emotions aside and be rational.












[edit on 20-9-2009 by pepsi78]

reply to post by seagrass


Thank you, your words were most generous and very much appreciated.