Women fail but they don't lose!

I believe she is referring to the question and statements posed in her thread about Whitneys' Love Lesson, especially in terms of this comment.

I want to discuss why we think that love means that you have to give up yourself to demonstrate the sincerity or the intensity of your love for another?

I think that this life experience proposes that we have opportunities to pendulum swing in all polarities, even in the feminine duplicities. Some times the best way to learn who we are is find out who we are not. In failure we have success and do not lose if we actually learn from it.

I am guessing she is hoping we learn from our failures. Not that we are in fact failures.

reply to post by seagrass

I am guessing she is hoping we learn from our failures. Not that we are in fact failures.

best guess yet seagrass -

I read that thread too - I think there is a connection

and it's true - isn't it? you don't lose by failing

Some times the best way to learn who we are is find out who we are not.

I like that very much

I've always believed that we are defined more by who we are not than who we are - it's easier to see

We will give up and sacrifice almost anything for the thought of love and being loved and wanting to love. The diamond is finding out that you don't have to work so hard for it. That it can come naturally and without giving up the self.

A hard lesson for sure, but in being our true self we can attract those who love us.

reply to post by seagrass

The diamond is finding out that you don't have to work so hard for it. That it can come naturally and without giving up the self.

all true - all of it

can take a long time to figure that out though - a lot of trial and error before we finally get it

see - a really good topic - I wonder if it's the OP's topic...

:-)

An extremely important topic.

One that makes people angry. Bitter, hopeless, confused, and look to anything to try to cope. A lot of questions beginning with "Why...."
To make personal excuses, and accusations.
To be hard on oneself, question oneself, not trust the self.

Judgmental and downright mean.
To look for ways to escape it.

Either this OP is;

1) Seeking attention, or

2) Seriously derranged and needs something more than we can give.

Today's women are not all failures. We can, in no way, be flopped together into such a generalization. That's like saying all men are worthless. (Right.. )

There is no such thing as a failure in the larger scope of things..

I think OP just wants to see how much action they can get stirred up here.

- Mea

Women fail? You must have misunderstood statistics. In Canada, women officially have a higher graduation rate then men. This has to tell you something.

reply to post by Veritas Lux Mea

I think OP just wants to see how much action they can get stirred up here.

well - that's what we do here at ATS - in case you haven't noticed :-)

and - so?

we're all (OK - some of us) are wondering what she really intended - your guess is as good as mine at this point

does it matter? she got you going - didn't she?

first we'd have to all agree on what it means to be a failure - just saying women aren't failures doesn't solve the problem

maybe we are

:-)

Originally posted by Veritas Lux Mea
Either this OP is;

1) Seeking attention, or

2) Seriously derranged and needs something more than we can give.

Today's women are not all failures. We can, in no way, be flopped together into such a generalization. That's like saying all men are worthless. (Right..

)

There is no such thing as a failure in the larger scope of things..

I think OP just wants to see how much action they can get stirred up here.

- Mea

I think the OP is hardly deranged. Read between the lines. She gets the goat of people, why is that?
Sometimes I would agree, without lumping all of them of course, that we have been a failure at times. The best of what is feminine can be compromised today. And I believe we need to VALUE it in order to save what is good. The feminine principles may need to "have their day in the sun" again.

[edit on 16-9-2009 by seagrass]

Woman are living a real dream right now.

I won't go into the double standards but your basically in an amazing place right now. No better time to be a woman.

You got that for you.

Originally posted by FouL-LiveR
Woman are living a real dream right now.

I won't go into the double standards but your basically in an amazing place right now. No better time to be a woman.

You got that for you.

care to elaborate on what you mean? I think there are better times ahead personally.

reply to post by seagrass

I think the OP is hardly deranged.

thanks for saying it

the word deranged is unnecessary

reply to post by SpiritoftheNightSky


I am sorry if my post seemed cryptic it is was not intended to be. I have not had a bad breakup. I am not depressed. The only influence that may have been present at the time of my posting is sleep deprivation. I had just come off a twofer with 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. Not an excuse; an explanation.

When I speak of women as failures I speak of the woman that we are told we should be. Once woman were expected to be clones of June Cleaver then perfect little Stepford Wives. Today we are expected to be not just perfect mothers but perfect wives, perfect community workers, and perfect employees.

We are expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, serve it, wash the dishes and make great love to our man.

And for many of us if we don’t live up to the images of perfection that we are being bombard with then we are failures.

I think that this is something that women should fail at. I think that it is time we failed at trying to be the perfect anything and time that we recognize that being a woman goes beyond a simple definition.

This is not about men in any way. Though men often fall victim to the same brainwashing that women do. I guess that may be why some turn to the Viagra, dump their families and parade around with women that could be their daughters but their brainwashing is on a much different plane. When men fail they often see the problem from occurring from an outside force. Sometimes it is a bad boss but more often it is a bad wife or a bad mother.

Women on the other hand usually blame themselves or each other. Even if there was a bad father involved, the father may be spoken of harshly but the mother is thrown under the bus.

Women are failures because we are impossible to define except as a group and it is as it should be. Each woman is uniquely different and though we share many traits and attributes this only gives us a commonality; a sisterhood.

We can fail to meet the expectation but we don’t lose.

reply to post by SpiritoftheNightSky


Glad your O.K. i like to think that we are a community and despite our differences we haven't lost our humanity. Lending a hand should always be priority one. Good luck.

Originally posted by seagrass
We will give up and sacrifice almost anything for the thought of love and being loved and wanting to love. The diamond is finding out that you don't have to work so hard for it. That it can come naturally and without giving up the self.

A hard lesson for sure, but in being our true self we can attract those who love us.

I could not have said it better myself.

If we morph ourselves into a false personality to attract a mate, why are we so surprised when the person we attract turns out to be so wrong for us?

This is not a singular event. Most women, men as well, keep doing the same things and ending up with the same results and are surprised that they find themselves with the same person over and over again.

reply to post by SpiritoftheNightSky


I knew you were for real :-)

(OK - I was pretty sure)

...This is not about men in any way. Though men often fall victim to the same brainwashing that women do.

I appreciate the attempt to discuss this as women - without having to use men for contrast - I wonder if it can last

not that men can't be a part of this discussion - but if I understand what you're saying - it's not about women vs. men - or how women are like men, different from men, or better or worse than men -

Women on the other hand usually blame themselves or each other. Even if there was a bad father involved, the father may be spoken of harshly but the mother is thrown under the bus.

why do you think this is?

Women are failures because we are impossible to define except as a group and it is as it should be. Each woman is uniquely different and though we share many traits and attributes this only gives us a commonality; a sisterhood.

but the sisterhood is not always a safe or welcoming place - is it? at least - not in my opinion

I want to emphasize not always

We can fail to meet the expectation but we don’t lose.

this is the part I want to understand the most - whose expectations?

Originally posted by seagrass

Originally posted by FouL-LiveR
Woman are living a real dream right now.

I won't go into the double standards but your basically in an amazing place right now. No better time to be a woman.

You got that for you.

care to elaborate on what you mean? I think there are better times ahead personally.

Are you joking? I will say it is a lot easier to be a woman than a man. Woman are treated equal yet do not need to earn a living, they are equal to men, but do not need to do the work as a man. They can still just marry off and be happy. Men can't do this.

They act like objects, yet do not want to be treated like one.

If you are a women, and pull your own weight you are doing the right thing and I do not count you as the kind of women I'm talking about.

reply to post by FouL-LiveR


Member of the He Man Woman haters club, eh. Some gal take your job. Bad divorce Can't score. My advice. You'll get more flies with honey then you will with vinegar.

reply to post by FouL-LiveR

If you are a women, and pull your own weight you are doing the right thing and I do not count you as the kind of women I'm talking about.

so good to hear - your opinion means a lot to me

Reply to post by SpiritoftheNightSky

Just be the best you, you can be and you'll never be a failure. The problem arises when you allow others to set the bar for what you consider to be you. Thus the feeling of failure.


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