What Has Happened To The TRUE Friend?

reply to post by Donnie Darko


I too have some true online friends. Even though I have never "met" them, I love them!

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Donnie Darko

 

I too have some true online friends. Even though I have never "met" them, I love them!

Same. I think it is bigoted to think that friends that live in your city or area are automatically superior and more important. I have friends from Australia and Canada I have talked to for YEARS, many times - I know them WAY better than most of my friends here in Oregon, and I trust them a lot more too.

Local friends are nice for calling up and going to the movies, but only a couple of them that live around here are really people that care about me that much and that I can trust.

I do think though that there is a sick level of individualism in modern society. The ONLY relationship that is still sacred is parent-child, and that's because your child is a part of you.

I do believe in tolerance and "be and let be", but that can't be our ONLY virtue. "Tolerance is the last virtue of a dying society".

Though I question if our society was ever "alive" in the first place?

I believe it has to do with the fact that we have become a corporate society.

When the bottom line becomes the dollar instead of people, what do we expect? Family values? True friendship? compassion? Love? Those things sadly get pushed to the background when greed and money runs a society.

We can't have those things when all we can look at is our banking account.

Harm None
Peace

Unfortunatly, I WAS the TRUE friend up until about 5 months ago......

Then I got screwed over one too many times and basically have given up on people until they "prove" themselves now....

People are burning karma more rapidly. The inclinations of people are coming to the surface and the awareness of the insincerity of others is also becoming more clear. People are not as well grounded and the struggles of life take a lot out of people. People are not as healthy and balanced. TV in particular is always hectic, irrational and disorienting. Music is largely irrational and beastly either angry or lustful. The world is busy going outward and downward. Electronics and perhaps even microwave or cell phone transmissions may be disturbing people equilibrium.

Most everyone is preoccupied with themselves as selfishness is very intense at this instant.

I too cherish the ideal of a real friend and trusted associate. However, the true friend is the one who is genuinely free of the world and worldliness. The one who has come from much, much, much higher regions with only selfless motives. No one is benevolent beyond their self interests. Only someone without self interests can truly be benevolent and lastly trustworthy.

Interesting topic. I for one have no friends. Not a single one. Not one I would consider a true friend anyways.. I know people I go to bars with, I know people I like well enough through business and such .. but no true "friend" like I had in say, middle school or high school. And honestly, I really don't feel like I need one either. I actually thought it was just a part of getting older, I never knew my parents to have any "friends" aside from people with relations as I posted above.

Perhaps the internet has changed it, well I don't doubt that it has.. in my opinion though your either a "friend person" who needs friends (which to an outsider your friendship may not look very friendly) or your not a friend person .. like me, you don't require that type of interaction with people.

In fact.. I would say a few of you on ATS are closer then any friends I have in the "real world".

reply to post by N3krostatic


Yeah, doesn't there come a point when why are we here if our gadgets do everything for us?

Germane to topic:

I don´t love anyone
No i just want my fun
I´m a happy man
Yes i´m a happy man



Friends: None to make you happy, none to make you sad.

Hope you enjoy..........KK

True friends still exist. I consider myself rich beyond words because I have four such friends. People who are there for me and who more importantly allow me the privilege of being there for them.

Two of these wonderful friends are male. One is my brother seagull, a pretty special guy; another I met online. The other two are women. I know with all my heart I can call any of them at anytime and they will be there for me good times and bad.

True riches aren't measured in dollar and cents but rather by the things that can't be easily measured such as the simple joy of being able to connect to another human being honestly and openly without fear of being judged or found wanting in any way.

And dg you are loved by more people then you know and that includes me.

What is a true friend? Unfortunately I found out, not only who my true friends were but also who my true enemies were. My enemies were better friends than what most people would call friends.
I am a older man. I have found that most true friends, even true enemies, are ex-military. Why? They know what honor is. They TRUST in you. Not that you won't be wrong in there eyes but that you will do what YOU think is right even if it is against what they believe. If you are consistant with your beliefs they will BELIEVE in you, not that you are right but that you are YOU!
The problem today is that all our kids have been taught that there is no right or wromg. That whatever society says is right even if it changes tomorrow. Theyaccept whatever AUTORITY tells them is right today.
I almost lost two daughters. There teachers were wrong in thier studies, wrong in their philospy, wrong in what the law wasl When confronted those teachers always backed down as did the LEO's. My daughters were taught to disbelieve in their parents, that their RIGHTS were more important than HONOR. They paid a horrible price for what they were taught. However they learned on their own.
To cut it short. I was accused of many horrible things. None of which I did. There were many things that I could have been accused of that my friends as well as my eneimies would have believed but not these things. Becouse they all knew I believed in honor. They believed in me regardless of what AUTHORITY said. So even my enemies by most standards are true friends. They were taught to think for themselves.
Without HONOR, which is nothing less than than who you are, what line you will not cross with a gun to your head or your daughters head, they cannot KNOW who you are, you are a nothing but the wind going in any direction that is safe for you. How can anyone TRUST you?
Sorry for the serman but it is relevent to what you asked.

reply to post by Donnie Darko

Actually I care a lot about my online, long-distance friends. They are not less than someone I hang out with because they happen to be close to me geographically.

I think this idea is worth a whole thread

before ATS, I spent a lot of time online - but not talking to people. Just doing whatever it is that we do online (what would you even call that?) :-)

I used to lurk at a lot of different forums, but never participated

Now I have to admit - it's an amazing thing really to make friends with people you've never actually "met" - I'm not sure I would have believed that was possible before

not to take away from how important being physically present is to a friendship - but maybe most of it is just communication - talking, sharing - listening

even with email - most of my friends have moved all over - or are so busy - it's how we keep in touch - it doesn't take away from how we feel about each other - it reinforces it

and let's not forget about facebook :-)

I'm really not what you would call a facebook kinda gal - but, a friend finally convinced me - and since then I've reconnected with a very good friend from my childhood that I'd assumed was lost

so - I know what's going on with various people - we check in - sometimes for longer chats - sometimes just barely

in some ways I think if we look past the fact that everything is so hectic now - and friends aren't as physically present in our lives as they were - in some ways we talk more now than we did because of the internet

well you are kidding right? i know this sound cheesy but its true. they are not you are friends if you really have to worry. i have old fashioned friends. i dont have to worry

There have always been selfish people. There are not more or less "real friends", you just have not been fortunate enough to have met sincere people. I believe everything is pure chance, pure coincidence.
But, I will not deny the decay of values that everyone witnesses everyday. All you can do is be a skeptic and educate the naive.


[edit on 25-6-2009 by Relentless.D]

Originally posted by sickofitall2012
S&F !!! I have noticed that the older I get the harder it is to make good friends. They are all more concerned with what you can do for them.
I am a person that when I'm your friend, I will never turn on you and will always be there for you, but all it takes is that one stab in the back and we're done. I can never seem to get over the deep wounds that people have inflicted.
I have a quote hanging on my monitor, not sure who said it.
" Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter".

[edit on 24-6-2009 by sickofitall2012]

I hear what you are saying. I thought everyone was my friend when I was a kid, but as I got older and moved away, I realized how too many people out there want to be your friend only because of what you can give them -- and they will screw you every chance they get (this is especially true of people you work with). They want to use all your skills: sewing, art, computer, writing, cooking, sports..., but look out when that new job is posted because they will tell all your secrets and make up a few lies just to make you look bad.

You are so true on this one my friend. We use to have friends only when we can take something from them, and when this source is depleted, "friends" usually go away. By "take" i mean emotions, materials etc. Unfortunately we became materialists and we only give a sh.. about our selves.
I thought i had friends several times on my life. Until I found out that the friendship was only by my part.
At the moment i'm not sure anymore if i have. I'm just to skeptic about other people. Like most of us do, i think.

Originally posted by Rockpuck
Interesting topic. I for one have no friends. Not a single one. Not one I would consider a true friend anyways.. I know people I go to bars with, I know people I like well enough through business and such .. but no true "friend" like I had in say, middle school or high school. And honestly, I really don't feel like I need one either. I actually thought it was just a part of getting older, I never knew my parents to have any "friends" aside from people with relations as I posted above.

Perhaps the internet has changed it, well I don't doubt that it has.. in my opinion though your either a "friend person" who needs friends (which to an outsider your friendship may not look very friendly) or your not a friend person .. like me, you don't require that type of interaction with people.

In fact.. I would say a few of you on ATS are closer then any friends I have in the "real world".

I sometimes feel like I don't really have any TRUE friends. I only have people that I somewhat associate with. I used to have a best friend throughout high school...we still talk, but we are nowhere as close as we used to be. She started lying about stupid stuff, making up stories that my bf was cheating on me all the time and hiding stuff from me. It was ridiculous. I eventually stopped talking to her for a couple years. Like I said, we still talk but we aren't as close as we used to be. This was someone I always felt I could share anything with...but when I started to realize that things I said to her were coming BACK to ME, I realized she wasn't as true a friend I thought she was.

I too feel like I don't have a need to associate with others and try and "make" friends, especially with girls. I am not really a "girly" girl and I tend to think of alot of them as materialistic and back stabbing. I've met a FEW girls that I get along with, and they are really down to earth and straight up people. Many people think that I am anti-social or "weird" because I don't socialize as much as other people...I really just don't feel the need to.

Now I have maybe 1 close friend and of course I know I can trust my family. And life is much better this way.

I had several friendships that i consider true.
At the moment i have 3 great friends and one is my wife.
I learned that they are not there for me "all" the time individualy, but together they listen to all my crappy stories and are mostly there for me when i need them and to just hang out with.

But like with all good things in life, friends come and friends go, some times you just grow appart, sometimes they die.
For me true friendship is about certain moments you share, some people i consider great friends i only shared brief moments with.

I remember having a friend in primary school and we shared our pocked money so we could buy candy twice a week instead of once.

I am just a very social person so friends play an importand role in my life.

Thanks for the OP, it is quite interesting.

Interesting someone should bring this up. I have always felt like in the last 15 -20 years there is no longer any honor or loyalty among friends and or lovers. Sometimes I even feel like I don't even belong here on this planet. That is how out of place I feel. So I tend to be an introvert and spend my time keeping my brain busy learning.
It doesn't just happen to be with friends only either. I was married for 15 years and divorced for the last 12. I only dated for a couple of years and totally gave up. The quality of single women out there is just plain sad. I have seen women that are in a steady relationship go out on dates looking for a better find. It really is sad, you just can't trust anyone anymore.

I have a true friend, her name is Lisa, we share everything with each other and we have never ever had an argument.