Are you a highly sensitive person (HSP)?

reply to post by justsomeboreddude


Well, first off, define strength as an absolute. The strong will always survive, I suppose, but the type of strength required for survival is subject to change based on progress. You presume the strengths you value will always be equally relevant. Such assumptions are, in my experience, based on fear of change. That's where I'm coming from, and, yes, those observations are based on my experiences human beings and my "sensitivities".

As for people being easily offended, that isn't what we're talking about in this thread. I for one am sensitive to what I consider genuine feelings, not those based on pride. So, you can tell me any joke you like and I promise not to be offended. Though I reserve the right not to laugh if I don't find it funny.

reply to post by TravelerintheDark


Glad to hear you can take a good joke. Nobody expects anyone to laugh at something they dont find funny, it is just gotten to a point where some people decide to make it a federal case.

As far as change goes, it is nothing to fear. It is gong to happen regardless so you might as well do your best to lead change in the direction you desire.

I agree that is not about brute strength, but it is about being willing to do whatever it takes for your family, friends, country need to do to survive and to be on top. Maybe this isnt what you are talking about, but I get so sick of hearing people say America is the bad guy for defending its interests in the world and for fighting to keep their freedom.

Originally posted by justsomeboreddude
reply to post by seagrass

 

LOL, its alright if you didnt let us back in the cave, we would just drag you out, barbeque you, and make a nice dinner out of it. But we would be glad you made the cave a nice environment, so we could relax after a good meal.

Wow, I wonder why I even scored a 3 on that test.

you used the term "we", which implies you have friendships established with others such as yourself. How do trust that those who help drag won't drag you as well. How about when you aren't so young and can't as readily boast? What makes you think sensitivity in numbers such as ours can't fight? Because we can, and usually with extreme emotion behind it. Even crazy insane emotions behind it. We could fight, but then we would all sit around in the cave and talk about how emotional that was.

reply to post by seagrass


LOL, I can just visualize you all sitting around talking about how emotional the battle was. Well glad to hear you will stand up for yourselves. Their is nothing wrong with having a level of sensitivity. That is healthy. It is just when you get to extreme levels where you negatively impact your life and the life of others. If any of you scored high on that test then you obviously need some help for your own sakes and for those around you. Those questions deal with a lot of things where being that oversensitive has to have a negative impact on your life experience. It is just not emotionaly healthy to be that sensitive. Just ask a good psychiatrist.

Originally posted by justsomeboreddude
reply to post by seagrass

 

Wow, I wonder why I even scored a 3 on that test.

I am guessing you are sensitive to pain and sensitive to the effects of caffeine and I have no idea about the other one...

reply to post by seagrass

I believe I answered yes to the following.

I am deeply moved by the arts or music.

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

Most of the rest of the things are situations I thrive in. I cant imagine avoiding those things in life.

I really dont mean to attack you guys. It is just that I trully dont understand feeling the way you do, beyond that feeling that way would make me miserable.

[edit on 6/4/2009 by justsomeboreddude]

Originally posted by justsomeboreddude
reply to post by EnlightenUp

 

The rules are about to change. You are about to be overruled and it is because of that sort of thinking that things have become such a disaster and history such a bloody mess.

The sad thing for you is that it will never change. The unsensitive will always rule. What are you guys going to do to change things, whine until we cant take it anymore and give up.

I guess Ghandi was a callous, insensitive person that moved the population of India to violently expel the English Imperialists from his country.

Quite honestly, the people that actually make progress are the sensitive ones. The insentive hold us back or revert us to a more primitive state.

Someone like Einstein is a humanitarian and cares about life whereas much of organized religion would rather we ask no questions, will kills us for it and keep us in the dark ages forever if it could.

And you can just go back to hitting on every prospective ATS female with a good sense of satire.

I am just curious by this. Why did you say this? Who have you seen me hit on?

[edit on 6/4/2009 by justsomeboreddude]

ProtoplasmicTraveler, to whom you proposed marriage, who turned out to be male.
link

And one other, that was actually female. You were quite adamant about hooking up. I don't recall enough at the moment to find it.

Those are just two I've seen. Perhaps I'll compile and keep a list.

reply to post by Astrithr


Check...

Check...

And CHECK!

Jeez man that was like reading a biography of myself! I have almost every trait on that list. I prefer the feel of wind on my face as opposed to water flowing, but water is nice too. It is so... relieving to know that there are other people out there like that, and that they are being recognized. When I try to talk about deeper things in life, it has been so difficult looking at someone, and realizing that they have no idea what your talking about. It's like I operate on a totally different level than they do. Wow that's mind blowing, thank you OP! S+F for you.

Chrono

Untill you smell purple you haven't lived

Awesome statement. I've always been able to 'see' flavors and can explain how I cook by seeing a graph with the various flavors and matching them to create different shapes. May sound weird but it helps me 'see' the flavor of a finished meal way before I serve it.

I scored a 23.

Shane

Originally posted by berenike
There's a point - I wonder how many of us are softly spoken? I was extremely so, it used to be very embarrassing especially in shops. The staff could never hear me, but my throat would be closing up and I couldn't speak any louder.
I'm a lot better now but I find it really hard to raise my voice. I always associate speaking more loudly with being angry. Unless I'm excited about something, then I go up a few notches.

I can definitely relate to this. In fact, at one point my friends had nicknamed me "The Quiet One" cause someone at a store had referred to me as that.
For me, talking on the phone was even more difficult than in shops, because you're completely relying on your voice to communicate and can't use any body language like nodding or pointing at something.

Oh, and being in groups of loud people isn't much fun either. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to add something to a conversation, but it just goes totally unnoticed cause no one heard me!

reply to post by Astrithr


I am the same way. I almost refuse to raise my voice in 'normal' everyday situaions, because I don't want to seem rude and discourteous. To me, I shouldn't have to raise my voice to be heard. If the person is truly paying attention, then it shouldn't be necessary. I actually think of some people as somewhat rude when I have to raise my voice, because, to me, it says they weren't really interested in what I had to say. Being ignored, even unconsciously, is annoying at best. If your not going to pay attention to what I have to say, then why ask me something to begin with? Or even initiate a conversation?

Chrono

Hmmm..... Loving this thread and reading how other's feel. That's the biggest thing that stands out for me - we feel rather than think logic. Doesn't mean that I can't think logically but sometimes (most times?) it's contradictory to my feelings and then it can become over bearing, because I'm torn between logic/reason and my feelings.

I totally relate to finding talking on the phone most difficult. If the phone rings, I don't answer it unless it's a number I know and someone I want to talk to. I use my hands a lot, to express myself, when I speak and you just can't do that on the phone and often what I say is misunderstood by the other person.

I do extreme feelings/emotions - I can be so very, very down about things but I can also be very over excitable and most people find my extremes difficult to deal with. I very rarely do plodding along! lol - I hate plodding along and when everything is going right I tend to rock the boat. I love the adrenalin flowing and the feeling of not knowing what an outcome will be and I therefore love to take risks but they're usually very calculated risks.

I was quite a loner when I was a teenager - a sociable loner, is probably the best way to describe it. I loved being out in social settings with close friends but too many strangers would make me uncomfortable. I spent a lot of time reading alone and am still totally happy with my own company and thoughts.

At 21 I moved to a foreign country all on my own and was very scared and almost unable to breath but I enjoyed pushing myself to my limits - does that make sense? I moved again, with my husband and kids, 5 years ago and at the time we described it as jumping off a cliff - no idea whether we'd have a safe landing or not. lol. I cried and laughed hysterically and I remember I really didn't know whether I was incredibly happy or incredibly sad - both really but they got muddled together.

I sometimes feel like a total hypocrite because I am so full of contradictions but it really is just that social conditioning/logic/reason doesn't always sit easily with my feelings about a situation. I usually trust my feelings which most other ppl don't understand and it irritates them that I don't do the logical/expected thing.

I forgot to say, in my first post, that I scored a 20. I also ended up with the INFJ personality from the link to the other test linked to.

Regardless of those posting that think I'm trying to label myself as 'special' I'd like to say that each and every one of us is special and variety is the spice of life. How boring would life be if we were all the same personality? Yuk that would be awful. I love seeing and hearing from different people but only on my own terms and I do tend to be rather selfish with my time because I'm aware that I'm human and not invincible and might not be around tomorrow. I find most people irritating because they parrot what they've been taught by social conditioning. I don't actually like many people because most of them complain so much but keep doing the same thing and never try to change. To me that is a very strange way to live.

If I don't like something I might put up with it for a long time but then I eventually do something about it. I've had a great life and done many things, seen many things, visited many places and it was all very difficult for me to do but I did it. Is that a HSP trait because most of the people I know that are outgoing, bubbly, have careers, etc, just plod along and don't even enjoy their lives. They do 9-5, live in a typical house (like everyone else's), drive a similar car to their friends, take 2 weeks holiday a year, a bit of time of for Christmas and they call that living! That's existing not living - I need fear just as much as I need joy because it makes me feel alive and there's nothing better than feeling alive.

I don't want to make this sound like HSPs against others - I'm just trying to explain how I view other people and how I feel about them and life in general. I hope I'm never truly happy and that there's always something else that I can try. I don't want to settle for the accepted norm of marriage, 2.5 kids, career, etc. I want a life - I appreciate that I have this life, good and bad. It's not always roses and infact it's usually very difficult but I mostly enjoy navigating my way through it and take full responsibility if things don't work out great and then I probably go into a mega depression. At least the mega highs and lows let me know I'm alive! After a lot of analysis I get fed up with being depressed, decide no-one else can pick me up and look for the next challenge. I'm just not very sociable with other people because I find them boring and irritating. They probably find fault with me too and I don't have a problem with that. I'm the first to admit I'm very difficult to get on with.

I'm waffling and probably repeating - it's like being on the phone cause you can't see my hand gestures so I don't know if you get what I'm saying

Edit to add about raising voices - I don't do it often and am softly spoken but when I let rip, I really let rip and it scares the hell out of people that know me. Another contradiction in my personality.

[edit on 4-6-2009 by Maya00a]

Originally posted by justsomeboreddude
reply to post by Malfeitor

 

You are probably right that IQ's are falling fast. It is easily explained by the fact that many governments hand money out to stupid people that breed, while the rest of the responsible people have to limit the amount of children they have to make ends meet and to pay the ever increasing tax bill to support those that do not have the mental faculties to be responsible.

[edit on 6/4/2009 by justsomeboreddude]

Oh... well there ya go, that's a purely intelligent statement right there.
Seriously, "stupid people that breed"??

Unless you're a virgin, and plan to be one your entire life, you also fall into your 'stupid people' category. No one can guarantee that an intimate moment (with protection and all) won't lead to an unexpected result. No one can guarantee that their marriage won't end up in an ugly divorce or guarantee that they won't suddenly drop dead... leaving the other spouse as a single parent. No one can guarantee that jobs and homes won't be lost regardless of the efforts put out. These things can and do happen. Many people the "governments hand money out to" received help as a result of a traumatic event or unfortunate loss. They are not always the lazy, 'stupid' people you think. Nothing like a little compassion for your fellow humans eh?

Back on topic~
Current situations can have an influence on how sensitive a person can be. In today's world there are numerous pollutants, loud noises from modern technology, crowded lifestyles, financial stresses.... etc. If we were still living in caves, many of today's sensitivities probably wouldn't even be a factor, and we would most likely be following our instincts of survival as much as anyone else... probably moving in on your arse while you're so distracted looking for people to give a hard time.

This is amazing.

To be completely honest, i agree 100% - i am always told to stop being so sensitive and "it's all in your head" - i always felt different and looked at classmates/work colleagues as i would a pack of ravenous animals and treated them with the required amount of distance.

I am overly cautious to the point that it angers people, however id rather be alive and cautious than dead and ignorant (lol).

My mother has the same traits, we often withdraw into ourselves, as it's the only place (usually) where people will keep their noses out. We both are incredibly intuitive and empathetic people.

I can tell when people are lying, or if some one doesn't like some one else.. or if some one likes me... (not being arrogant) or if there is something occurring in the background...

i used to become frightened of my need to withdraw from everyday society and sit at home smoking god's good herb (hahaha) as did my fiance - she found it anti social and frustrating - especially when it was to do with her friends and my "not wanting" to be around "fake" and "dishonest" princesses. It's not that i don't want to - i enjoy social interaction, though, not with douche-bags and materialistic sex fiends.

Where i am going with this is, meditation is an excellent way of garnering "control" or at least channeling your energies into positive thought. However i find that having 1 or 2 good smokes of the god herb with my best mate since childhood - not only cuts off my hypersensitivity to the outside world - but helped me build a strong inner "temple" where i could go and work through any problems.

I used to think i was different to the point of disgust as i didnt find many other people who "felt?" the same way i did ... kindred spirits, like minds.. friends? (aura??) im not sure how to describe it...

I used to be on Zoloft 150 mg's (ssri) ... which i now know (in my heart and mind) cuts the connection between the 2 separate hemispheres in my brain.. it made my sensitivity and appreciation of my surroundings much lesser (i.e. right side of my brain), but i became complacent and DULL.. a business man to a "t" (left side brain) i didn't have the usual energy or luster for life i usually would.

I wish i had seen this, to save myself 2 years of mental anguish and heartache over what felt like beating my brain into submission, to order it to stop feeling and seeing and interpreting .. and concluding....

Zoloft is a drug manufactured by pfizer, one of the worlds largest pharm companies... this drug turned off or at least dimmed my ability to be how i was naturally, in a way, i turned GRAY.

The only thing that kept my mind alive whilst on Zoloft.... was to smoke choof. That's right... not manufactured.. or synthesized .. a naturally occurring complex chemical substance that is deemed "illegal" and "unsafe" .. why...

WHY

that's for another thread i believe. Good to be here.

This site is farking amazing. Let the knowledge spread!

Almost every single point made describes me to the max.

That being said isn't it the same for most people who maybe are a little less confident in life?

Perhaps i'm wrong but seeing the amount of people on here who have said how like them that is i feel it makes my point more valid.

Good post though

sounds like everyone to me lol

tho i do agree some people are a bit more sensitive than others.

I do not think its a bad thing to be sensitive in fact i think some people are very loving and are very understanding because of it.

reply to post by misfitoy


You missed the point. I'm aware that you were speaking to another, but my name is the one in bold blue at the top of your post, so I will defend the point which was made.
The stupid are far more populous than the intelligent. I'd wager that only one out of every five people is what I would consider intelligent, and that is a very generous guess.
Given the rise of our technological society, natural selection has become a benchwarmer in the world; have you ever heard of the Darwin Awards? They were invented for a reason. Advances in medical care, food production, and general health-awareness have rendered the stupid able to multiply and spread much more rapidly than the intelligent; though genetics certainly play a role, intelligence is something to be acquired through various processes in child-development and through choices (both conscious and unconscious) during youth. Our society has made it easy, preferable even, to shirk the things which are difficult in favor of what is pleasant, ultimately resulting in intelligence becoming unneccesary for the larger portion of the population. Hergo, while all people breed, by sheer force of numbers it is the stupid who come to rule.

One more thing, as long as I'm fixing that spelling error; people who immediately resort to petty forms of ridicule tend to have their points overlooked.

(spelling edit)
(yet another spelling edit; god I'm tired)
[edit on 4-6-2009 by Malfeitor]

[edit on 4-6-2009 by Malfeitor]

reply to post by Greenize

I scored a 21. My husband I am sure thinks I am nuts, but I have told him more than once that loud noises literally hurt my skin. Maybe that does sound nuts, but its true. Also, I would like to know if any of you have this problem: There are certain people that when around me, drain me. What I mean is, after they leave I feel like I need to lay down, I have no energy left in me...please tell me some of you have this problem too!!

Greenize,
I have this too. I specifically avoid certain people because they drain me. My explanation has always that they have been unconscious drainers of others' energy. One of my closest friends who lived with me when he had nowhere to go and before he had girl/kid would drain me like crazy!!! I had to sit down with him and tell him about it and to be conscious of this possbility when around me. It got much better after that talk.

You are not alone. I find what works is imagining your whole body is surrounded by white light, like a shield and consciously not allow the drainings to happen.

I scored 26. Always knew this way of being had its advantages, always saw thing others didn't, also have synesthesia. I see songs/sound as 3d topographic landscapes of shapes and colors, numbers too!!!

Would be cool if they had HSP singles page. I have had quite a few girl friends who were loud, obnoxious, big egos and it never worked out.

reply to post by dominicus


"Would be cool if they had HSP singles page. I have had quite a few girl friends who were loud, obnoxious, big egos and it never worked out."

I had one very short lived, but intense relationship with another HSP. I think it is too hot to handle having two empaths meet up in a sexually and emotionally charged relationship.

Can you really handle your partner knowing you that deeply? Feeling all your emotions as you do and vice versa? Both of you burn out quick.

Just my take on it.

Think we are here to possibly teach others the art of empathy. Two empathics together? VERY INTENSE. But if you can do it, right on, I think I could to, but my partner couldn't handle it and have not met another one since.

edit spelling

[edit on 4-6-2009 by wclv13]

reply to post by misfitoy


You know what I mean. There is nothing wrong with having as many kids as you can afford. The thing though that causes lower average IQ is the fact that the government subsidizes stupid, lazy people by paying them more for each kid. So you have those people reproducing while the educated people do not. You see it all the time, so dont act like it isnt happening. If you dont see it then maybe you are one of them.

Do you really think it is a good idea to pay people on assistance more everytime they pop out another kid. If you cant support your family, you shouldnt be making it bigger and expect the rest of us to pay.

[edit on 6/4/2009 by justsomeboreddude]