posted on Feb, 7 2011 @ 01:28 PM
reply to post by silo13
I like it! Nary a miscue that I could see as to characterizations, and it's defused itself - more or less. That can be worked with! Check it for
typos, and fire away in the story thread!
I've got the better part of two more posts hashed out, one generic and the other specific, but can't use either one at the moment. The second one
involves the last breaths of Bransom. It's sort of grisly, and involves neno in a cold-blooded murder that's made convincingly to look like an
"accident", and I'm just not sure whether to use it or not when the time comes.
The first is yet another "dream sequence", and so requires neno to somehow get some shut -eye.
I suppose I need to start thinking on a third, something more relevant to the situation at hand!
Great job, Silo. As far as I'm concerned, you can post away!
Edit to add: I really liked where neno picks up on Dag being a girl, and BIAD subtly corrects him by calling him... er... her.. er... well, anyhow,
calling Dag "
boy" right out loud where neno can pick up on that... all that testosterone clouds the mind at times, eh?
edit on
2011/2/7 by nenothtu because: (no reason given)