The attention game

reply to post by The 5th


nice spiral/cycle there.

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Nice topic.

Reminds me of something I saw on TV several years ago, completely by accident.

Was channel surfing while having lunch and there was a segment on Oprah about a woman who lied to her entire family and all her friends that her son had cancer.

She did it because she craved attention and wanted people to worry about her and make a fuss etc etc.

Of course, with a lie so big, it came unglued after a short period of time. And now, thanks to her idiocy and the wonderful acts of karma, she has no friends and a family who has disowned her.

Some people must crave attention that bad that they would risk their entire world to get it... or their minds may work in a way that blinds them from seeing the risks in their actions. Who knows...

Pretty messed up though.

reply to post by Skyfloating

nice spiral/cycle there.

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Thanks, i think i've solved it.

Il be adding more thoughts to this soon.

I agree with your point 100% but the attention game we all play is taken for granted because it is technically what reality is for us, getting attention and holding it. Yeap, great idea, too bad educating people about attention would never happen unless someone with money is willing to invest in spreading the word. We would need to get their attention so we can get the nation's attention and eventually the world. We should expand upon this idea and make a program to educate others with the idea of positive attention about nice people and happy things in the news and less negative attention about crime and war like you said. If only we could motivate people to put action into your words

Originally posted by fooffstarr

Was channel surfing while having lunch and there was a segment on Oprah about a woman who lied to her entire family and all her friends that her son had cancer.

She did it because she craved attention and wanted people to worry about her and make a fuss etc etc.

Of course, with a lie so big, it came unglued after a short period of time. And now, thanks to her idiocy and the wonderful acts of karma, she has no friends and a family who has disowned her.

Recognition-craving to the extreme. It amazes me to what lengths people will go when exhausted and thirsting for some love.

Turns out that in the end she's not getting any at all anymore...which could be forseen if she had read this thread

reply to post by MoothyKnight


So we would need to garner attention in order to instruct on attention...

Originally posted by Skyfloating

Originally posted by TheInfamousOne
Can you elaborate in your own words your observation of what makes you concerned with others being controlled or not aware? How does this affect you? What emotions drives your frustration? Do you submit to a new ideology of not being controlled? How do you view the world you want to live in?

Are you a therapist or something?

How do I view the world I want to live in...diverse. Which it already is.

It is in fact so diverse that I could invest attention into trillions of things. Its my choice. I need not invest it into the narrow margin offered by conventionalism.

As for the other questions...since Im not frustrated or in great concern, I cant answer them.

No, I am not a therapist.

I am just trying to help you understand your own thoughts on how you arrived to this conclusion. It seems to me you've already arrived at the answer before you posted this question.

But you're still seeking something else, maybe you're looking for people that support the idea you're proposing to find like minded people. But when you do, then what?

Is the hole filled?

The moment you submit to a religion, political affiliation, belief, ideology is the moment you cease to find the truth.

Truth is a pathless land, one of my favorite stories is this.

"You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, 'What did that man pick up?' 'He picked up a piece of the truth,' said the devil. 'That is a very bad business for you, then,' said his friend. 'Oh, not at all,' the devil replied, 'I am going to help him organize it.'

I maintain that truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or coerce people along a particular path. -J Krishnamurti


I'll leave you be,

Whatever your looking for, good luck.

reply to post by TheInfamousOne


Im already quite familiar with Krishnamurtis works, so I havent been responding to much to them.

Im not necessarily looking for anything specific with this thread. Its mere curiosity on what people think on the subject.

Hónestly...just curious.

Originally posted by Skyfloating
reply to post by TheInfamousOne

 

Im already quite familiar with Krishnamurtis works, so I havent been responding to much to them.

Im not necessarily looking for anything specific with this thread. Its mere curiosity on what people think on the subject.

Hónestly...just curious.

OK, enough said. You must be just having fun then.

Originally posted by Skyfloating
I couldnt disagree that giving someone love and attention are wonderful things (if pure of underlying motives).

Though this was a response to another poster, I hope it won't be a bother if I pluck this to make a point? Every human action has an underlying motive, a point of benefit for the one who acts. That motive may be more or less "pure", but there is still motive. As an example...

I give a loved one a hug. My motivation is that it also makes me feel good. What about it is making me feel good may matter to an extent. Is it reciprocation or the act itself, simply doing for someone else, that makes me feel good. Is one more "pure" than the other? Is it wrong to wish to receive as well as give? Is it wrong to expect a "return" on our investment? Should we all be willing to give without need for reciprocation?

These are high ideals that human beings have carried for centuries. Pieces often seen as residing near or at the pinnacle of an "illuminated" existence. But are they realistic? Perhaps the point is not to expect the form the reciprocation will take.

That being said, I personally believe that too many people spend too much time concerning themselves with motive where they should be more concerned with their response. That is to ask which is better: to receive with suspicion or acceptance? These are the actions and thoughts we control. Our own.

This is an interesting thread.

My primary thought is that 'attention'-- however derived, and of whatever quality, and for whatever individual purpose-- is fundamentally biological in nature.



Are we any different?

Our intelligence, creativity, and our individual predispositions relative to 'attention', are nothing more than various forms of plumage.

It's likely the cornerstone of our survival.

An interesting conclusion could also be that advocating for a particular type of 'attention profile' would actually weaken the species.



[edit on 2-2-2009 by loam]

I totally agree - i actualy mentioned this to my fiance a while back when the bali bombers were being raved about. I thought the best punishment for them would be for them to be jailed until death with ZERO media coverage. They wouldnt be messiah's then would they.

Just lock them up and forget about them. People are too hell bent on revenge and retribution to think about the truly best punishment. Rather than give them a quick and glorified death, let them be forgotten in a dank and miserable jail cell for the next 50 years. That is a punishment!

Very cool topic!!! I rather enjoy your perceptions of society and happen to agree with you wholeheartedly!! I have often felt that if the news simply reported good news instead of your typical doom and gloom, that society would change for the better.

Great thread!!!

reply to post by kleverone


I agree kleverone. Pretty much with whatever you ever say. Good to see you.

OP, always good for a progressive topic.

AAC

You are talking about Pavlovs experiments that are implemented on a global scale - conditioning to compete - that inculdes attention.

If you comply and compete and win you are rewarded - humans are nothing but puppets for Sociologists.

reply to post by Skyfloating


It's sometimes called psychological leaning. It is to be avoided if you don't want to drive people away and give them the creeps. I've also noticed personally that whenever I do something out of neediness, I always regret it for some reason. So, my rule is to avoid any behavior or action that is driven by needy or insecure motivations.

Then, you have the psychic vampires, which I suppose are needy, but not in an insecure way, but more like a predator trying to satisfy some appetite rather than filling one's ego.

Originally posted by AnAbsoluteCreation
reply to post by kleverone

 

I agree kleverone. Pretty much with whatever you ever say. Good to see you.

You are wise....and will go far in life. Good to be seen. Glad to be back in a larger capacity than as of late.

Sorry.......Back on topic

I think the desire to be seen is a very natural one. Everyone and most social animals want to be recognized. To be seen and acknowledged by their own kind. I dont know if I consider this dysfunctional. I think I consider it merely a built in drive of social animals.

I think there are attention seeking behaviors that are dysfunctional. But like it is pointed out in the opening post, I think these dysfunctions arise because of how some human use their attention to gain power over others. Withholding it if they dont get their way, and lavishing it when someone behaves the way they prefer.

I personally feel that other beings deserve my attention. I dont think they have to do the things I want to earn it. I think their existence alone makes them "worthy." In person, I smile and say hello to the strangers who pass and furtively raise their eyes, at babies, at dogs, at homeless people. I dont use my attention as currency and horde it only for the people or animals that I think I can gain from.

I personally feel it is a simple act of decency to see another being and recognize their existence. I dont have to like everything they do, but I do not consider myself the be all and end all judge of worthiness. If they are here, and in my path, I feel that is all that is required in terms of "worth."

I feel horrible when I see people turn their bodies from someone ugly, or someone disabled, or, sad to say, here in the US we often 'ignore" those who are simply old or badly dressed. I also find it odd the stiff faces people put on when they walk down the street, head forward, eyes avoiding all contact, as if they are in a bubble of some kind. It seems such a sad and unnatural way to live.

I was raised in a small town, and it was customary and polite to acknowledge another, even if you didnt know them, with a smile, a hello, a head nod, or a wave.

I think the problem of attention seeking that is negative is related to the fact that many people feel it is a "gift" to be bestowed rather than a "right" of every social being to be acknowledged. I see the "problem" being more one of customary withholding as a power play rather than one of giving it too freely.

reply to post by Skyfloating


I remember when I learned this truth from, of all places, Cosmo Magazine. Yep.. that's right Cosmopolitan Magazine.

There I was, 17 years old, reading my gf's cosmo... an article titled, "The Power of the Least Interested".

This was an amazingly enlightening insight, which I have since used to my own benefit many many times.

There are two forces at work with the "least interested"; the distinct sensation of a lack of attention, and the attraction towards confidence. Being the least interested also causes you to exude what to others appears as confidence.

Anyway... as far as education goes, go check out Utah Phillips. He did an album with Ani DiFranco ( I know... I don't usually like her), and it was an amazing journey through the history of the worker in America. He touches on our education system and how it is designed to pump out workers, not thinkers.

I'm just glad that my public school exposed me to Ralph Waldo Emerson and his philosophy on Self Reliance.