When Did You Choose To Be Straight?

reply to post by DantesLost


The OP's logic is flawed in his original post. There are two factors to homosexuality: 1. the nature; i.e. where your affections and desires lie (e.g. you are drawn to and tend to love your same sex over the other), and 2. the actions (simply put, who you have sex with). So, for the sake of argument let me state that 1. may be totally devoid of choice...it may just be how you were born while 2. is wholly dependent on choice...ENTIRELY dependent on choice.

Your question in the first post is when did we, as heterosexuals, "choose". If 1. above was never there (i.e. the inherent desire for our own sex over the opposite sex), then the "choice" of 2., our actions, would never be made unless we got some wild hair to experiment, I guess.

I understand your point, but I think you are committing the same error that people who decide that the ENTIRE issue of homosexuality is a chosen trait and lifestyle (trait being 1. and lifestyle being 2.). I personally don't believe that the inherent attraction to the same sex is a choice, but past that, the actions are.

I believe the thread should have veen called "when did you decide to be gay"

Your heading impies is not good to be straight .. at least I think so.

Originally posted by DantesLost
Did You Choose To Be Straight?

Before i was born.
When I was sitting with God deciding who and what I'd be in this lifetime.
I already know who and what I'll be in my next lifetime (and when).
I'll be straight then too. (but I'll be a guy next time )

(really)

The first time a doctor decided he needed to check my colon I think it was, well right then and there I thought in my head, "Well I know I'm definitely not gay"

I know some of you will laugh but I'm dead serious. Reason being at the time I was in my teenage years and had no interest in anyone or anything sexually.

No I had no disorder but I was always preoccupied with Einstein's theory's related to light and travel along with astronomy, computers and chemicals that made large explosions in the yard (man my dad hated that "your gonna burn down the farm your grounded!").

Meanwhile my friends were dating women and one was gay. I contemplated that if I had no real interest in women I might be gay, but I had no interest in men either only the subjects I listed above.

So thought about it and decided I was neither at the time and continued on with my studies.

Then the Dr. and the finger pretty much let me know what I was not.

Then as it turns out I had quite a nice time with a female one day when I had said ah screw it I want to see what all this fuss is about. That being said I still really had/have no great attraction to females over just a purely sexual stand point. But there are certain things they say that are just so sweet, nice, kind and compassionate that ya I suddenly want them.

So the only conclusion I can ascertain from this is that I must be a lesbian stuck in a male body seeing as all my male friends get worked up over looks and I have no feeling about it one way or the other.

[edit on 26-12-2008 by Darthorious]

No offense to the OP, but this is just a retarded question.

Propagating the species...ever heard of it?

Why don't you ask your parents?

I ask this because it was a heterosexual relationship that produced you. Further you might run a comparison between their life style and yours and extrapolate your answers from there.

[edit on 083131p://am3102 by masonwatcher]

Everyone loves to talk about choice and "when they knew", but in reality some of it IS environmental. Sexual triggers are created by intense experiences (good or bad) in a fair amount of people. Masochists that love pain as adults often were abused as children.

Gay men or Lesbian women sometimes were just born that way, and sometimes things happen to them, typically when they are young, that creates an attraction (or repulsion) to one gender over another for the rest of their lives.

But in a PC world we never talk about that. Funny how genes are the ONLY proper answer for why some people/groups are the way they are, while for other people/groups it is NEVER genes but ONLY environmental. The truth lies somewhere inbetween in many cases.



[edit on 26-12-2008 by Sonya610]

Amusing thread, Ill play along...

Im heterosexual, I personaly think that it's not simply just a choice but an ingrained desire to be with someone of the opposite sex. Simply put, I find females more attractive than I do males.

In one way it is a choice. Frankly people that find other people of the same sex attractive have absolutely nothing wrong with them. It is simply their desire and attraction to that gender. A person that is naturally attracted to people of the same sex as themselves could theoretically ignore this desire and chose to just date and have sex with someone of the opposite sex. However those people probably would be unhappy and probably wouldnt make for a very loving partner.

Biochemically if someone is attracted to one gender over another it would be very difficult, not impossible but very difficult for them to copulate with people of the other sex that they did not find attractive. In this way it's not a choice but a biochemical reaction to pheromone and the physiology of the gender they find attractive.

Love is love, its a terrible disease that afflicts humans of any sexual orientation. One cannot choose who they fall in love with. They just have to play the hand they are dealt. If one is attracted to someone of the same sex as themselves, they naturally will seek out people of similar interests. Just as people that are attracted to people of the opposite sex do. The reason is that people in this life are looking for love and they tend to look for someone that will reciprocate that love to them.

People can say that god hates homosexuals, people can say it's wrong. Frankly it's only wrong to those people that themselves don't agree to that attraction, and only their god hates homosexuals. (Those that say god is love and then turn and say that god hates homosexuals are hypocrites)

Homosexuality and heterosexuality is both a choice and a natural instinct to be with that desired gender. One can choose to ignore this base natural instinct at the price of their own personal happiness or they can embrace this instinct and act on it thereby making themselves and the partner they attract much happier.

So to sum up DantesLost's question, I chose to be straight probably around the age of 12, there was a year of experimentation with homosexuality I went through. But honestly it didn't make me as happy as being with a woman. So I dated women exclusively from then on.

Grock

your last reply was a cop out.

No it isn't.Its a statement of fact.People who are against homosexuality always focus on the physical aspect.Usually because its easier to paint gays as subhumans who live off their base instincts.You can't do that if you bring emotion into it.

As a highly regarded shaman/monk - yes i would.

Yet many Native Indian tribes have a long tradition of accepting homosexuality,some to the point of saying they are the most complete of all humans.

In some Native American cultures,male children who display feminine characteristics at an early age are valued by the tribe as a sacred trust.It is believed that the Great Spirit has sent this child to them as a go-between for males and females,a bridge between the sexes who understands both sides of the human condition.

Such a child is apprenticed to a shaman, or holy man of the tribe. In his training, he learns the traditional work of both sexes, dresses as a woman, and usually performs the functions of healer and arbiter for his people.

jenellerose.com...

Many of the world’s cultures recognize more than two genders. The notion that there are those of us who do not fit precisely into either a male or female role has historically been accepted by many groups.

Among Native Americans, the role of third, fourth, or even fifth genders has been widely documented. Children, who were born physically male or female and yet showed a proclivity for the opposite gender, were encouraged to live out their lives in the gender role, which fit them best. The term used by Europeans to describe this phenomenon is Berdache.

www.healthyplace.com...

"Traditionally, a person's sexual orientation also brought gifts of vision and understanding. People who were two-spirited (i.e., homosexual) were considered to have a great gift of vision that went beyond most people's abilities. Because of the nature of the two-spirited person, it was believed that they could understand and help solve problems that both women and men have individually or between each other. They possessed the ability to see an issue from both perceptions. Two-Spirited people were not only considered normal, but a vital and much needed part of the natural world and of the community as a whole."

www.coreymondello.com...

(you bring up LOVE as your defense - let me ask you this: what is love?)

Love is more than sex.
A highly regarded shaman/monk should know that.

Originally posted by whatukno
Amusing thread, Ill play along...

Yea... thats just the feeling I got too

Now for the thread... whats up with you homossexual ATS ppl opening sex-related topics every damn day for the last week? Is this because WHAM!'s Last Christmas is on the radio too much affecting you deeply with the rainbow wave? Do you ppl really feel the NEED to create threads like this every day now?

Damn...

But ok... I didnt CHOSE to be straight, I just like women! I dont know... maybe thats weird to you but [snip]are great! I wont say anything about the "rest" because I would get banned, but I like the "rest" a lot also



Mod Edit - Mod Edit: Profanity/Circumvention Of Censors – Please Review This Link.


[edit on 30-12-2008 by elevatedone]

Shadow_Lord

If a person is bisexual, it is a choice. They are not gay, they are just horny...plain and simple, nothing more.

No they're not.They are physically and emotionally attracted to both sexes.Also,most bisexuals have more attraction for one sex than the other.

There are two sides to this. There are people who do make a choice to be gay. They have had such bad luck with the opposite sex, they choose to date the same sex for example. Other reasons, but there is a choice there.

Incorrect.
They are not choosing to be gay,they're choosing to have same sex relations.Difference.



Cio88

I believe the thread should have veen called "when did you decide to be gay"

No it shouldn't.
Many people who are against homosexuals say it is a choice.Logic dictates that if one can choose their sexuality then so can all.Which means heterosexuals must have,at some time in their life,chosen to be straight.




Government Cheese

No offense to the OP, but this is just a retarded question.

Propagating the species...ever heard of it?

So gay people can't have children huh?
Another long standing myth.
As long as the 2 sexes exist there will be procreation.




masonwatcher

Why don't you ask your parents?

I've asked everyone I know.And,apart from the silly but funny answers,they all agree that sexuality isn't a choice.




Sonya610

Gay men or Lesbian women sometimes were just born that way, and sometimes things happen to them, typically when they are young, that creates an attraction (or repulsion) to one gender over another for the rest of their lives.

Thats very true.
But unbiased studies show that such people only make up a small number of the gay population.Biased studies would have you believe that every single one of us were abused as children and/or had over protective parent(s).

reply to post by DantesLost

I think that the position that gays have, which is that they've chosen to be gay, is an emotional response to the idea that their sexual bias is genetically determined and that therefore there must be something wrong with them.

There is evidence that our genes have a sexual switch and I'm not talking about X and Y chromosomes. Apparently there is one gene that has a chemical 'on/off' switch which if on turns men hetero and if off turns them homo-sexual. If the terminology offends you then think 'left or right'. The evidence for this is a well documented phenomenon whereby the more male children a woman has, the more likely they are to be gay. The mechanism for this seems to be that when a woman is carrying a male fetus, her body wants to reject it in the same way that some organ recipients rejects donated organs. In the case of pregnancy, the woman's uterus secrets a chemical that accumulates over time so that there is more and more of it each time there's another male fetus. This chemical can sometime flip the sexual bias switch from hetero to gay. Strangely enough though, there doesn't seem to be a corresponding trend to explain lesbianism. In other words, if a woman has lots of daughters, the first one is statistically equally likely to be a lesbian as the last one.

I dont agree ... never had I EVER looked at a male like ... man i wanna **** his **** ..

We are animals like everything else ... and our instancts tell me that I want to nail my wife.

I like choice. Thats why I chose to use my body corectly, not in some perverse manner. The whole alternate life style is about attention and ego stroking not child bearing. That's why us normals don't get it. Its all fantasy ending in horror. These people miss a human life then try to say there is something normal about homo. They just wish and I mean wish they had a normal life. Ugly smelly men and sick women. Some men must really like to smell phecies.

I have a 6 year old cousin and I can almost guarantee he will be homosexual when he is older... and pretty camp on top of it.

I doubt he choose seeing as he wouldn't understand the concept.


[edit on 26/12/08 by Dermo]

I am definetly straight, although when I was younger I was involved in a small role of "experimenting."

I think a lot of bisexuals choose to be the way they are... but genuinely gay people are just born that way. A lot of people say being gay is not natural, but I mean at least they're sticking with one sexual orientation. People who are bisexual just want to have their cake and eat it too.

reply to post by veranda


I just wanted to add that I don't have anything against gay or bisexual people. (looks nervous)

For what it's worth, here is an observation.

When I was in first year university (1973) my psych 101 textbook had this piece of information.

Experimenters set up the perfect rat environment with unlimited food and (initially) lots of room for one breeding pair of rats. Eventually the rat population grew to the point where there was obvious overcrowding. At this point, the human observers noted that some of the rats were physically attacking other rats and that some exhibited homosexual behaviour towards other rats of the same sex.

Comments?

For me personally, I believe that I never posed the question to myself during the young years...as to whether I was gay or straight. It seemed that my "straightness" was inherent and I never knew otherwise. It wasn't until I was older and more exposed to the world that I realized the question could have been asked. On a side note, I believe that homosexuality is something that SOME are born with, and SOME make the choice, just like heterosexuality. Some people are born straight, and others 'fake it" because that is what society has hammered into them.

reply to post by drsmooth23


Yes, I posted this in another thread.

There are gay animals
The Gay Animal Kingdom

Wiki-Ani-Sex
Wiki-List
More Gays for the Kingdom

Funny thing is I've NEVER seen anyone screaming KILL THAT FAGGOT DOLPHIN

But I have seen that same yell pointed directly to gay humans.

As for choosing to be straight...I don't know haha, I've had both experiences and I like both equally, would I say I was bisexual in the very least? No, I wouldn't, because at the end of the day, what REALLY gets me going is being with my fiance in all his wonder.

I could, if I chose, be with a woman...but in the long run I love the male physique way too much. That's MY personal experience.

I wholeheartedly agree with homosexuality not being a choice. On one side, you have the choice of who you prefer(men or women), on the other, you CAN choose whether or not to act on those preferences.

I just support doing whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good.

On a side note, I also went to an Arts magnet school, the majority of students attending this school were gay (not many lesbians). I also found that while the MAJORITY of gays were gay, there were quite a few "straight" guys in the mix. I believe it was the artistic nature of the school and the sexual freedom a lot of us experienced while being there, girls would walk naked in front of the gay guys, ask the gay guys to feel their breasts, everyone was actually very comfortable with themselves and their bodies. Yet for a few of those straight guys...the only way they could get a girl was to "act" gay.

By acting gay, they planted a seed within MYSELF, needless to say I have a healthy skepticism when someone out of the blue says HEY GUYS I"M GAY NOW. It's one thing to say you're gay...it's another to BE gay and live the lifestyle...

I'll stop now because I really don't know how to say it all properly lol


edit: adding on topic




[edit on 26-12-2008 by bandaidctrl]