Why do people tolerate lesbians and not homosexual men?

I think people are just turned off by the anal aspect of male homosexuality. But I do believe people need to get over it.
I see all these tv shows that have lesbian/bi women on them and they flaunt it for men to see, not women. That is the thing. I won't say most 'hot' lesbian/bi girls are not really gay, but lesbians definitely wouldn't flaunt their sexuality for men. Bi girls might, though. Most of the lesbians that I know are not very attractive to men, but tv makes people think that all lesbians are femme and will get it on with a man.

I haven't read all of the replies, but I would assume it has more to do with basic male instincts with procreation. Men who've in the past that had several wives etc. would probably tolerate and accept these women doing this and watch out of pride and laziness. Men who want to be like this king are probably more common?

Originally posted by smallpeeps
(as opposed to males who get preyed upon by other males and then have no ROUTE to learn about females!) ...There is a lot of sexual vampirism in gay male society, more than other dynamics I'd say. But this force which aligns males toward males is defused and rendered less powerful when female sexuality is openly displayed and available to such men. I think a lot of gay males wish women weren't such bitches, which society DOES encourage them toward being.

We are all hurting each other, in truth, but I believe more gay males would convert to the winning team if they could just have an environment where they could get close to the yumminess of the female.

I'm sorry, but I am calling BS on this.

Can we not just have a discussion about something without the usual and typical Homophobia and stereotyping going on?

You clearly do not have a good understanding of gay people, but rather a good understanding of the BS usually propagated by Homophobes.

As a gay man, I can assure you that, while the gay community is rather more self-involved and narcissistic than most other social groupings, it most certainly is not fair to use terms such as "vampirism". That's simply a Homophobic comment in an effort to portray us all as sexual predators.
It's getting very predictable and very boring.

As for your second comment about lovely women, this again shows that you know little about gay people, and haven't really considered your argument very well.
Gay men specifically surround themselves with lovely women! There is not a gay man on Earth who doesn't have a very close female friend or 30!

Women are constantly fawning over gay men, why? Because they feel safe, secure and respected in their company. There is no shortage of women for a gay man to have a sexual relationship with if he so chose. The fact is he chooses not to.

I'd also like to make a point in general, something that keeps coming up in this thread. Gay sex does not, I REPEAT NOT, solely revolve around the "back door".
Why is it that this one aspect is focused on again and again as if this is all there is?
To prove my point here (and this is where I share with you, feel privileged), as a 30yo gay man, I have never experienced this particular sexual act. None of the men I have been with have been particularly interested in this either.
If you think that this is the primary act for gay men to engage in you are sorely (:lol mistaken!

Just an observation....

Isn't funny how the average male has no problem with the "man parts" in your average everyday adult video.

Maybe you accidentally happened across some graphic man sex on the internet and you just close the window without much of a care.

But the image of to men passionately kissing completely grosses out the "average man."

Weird ???

Women are constantly fawning over gay men, why? Because they feel safe, secure and respected in their company. There is no shortage of women for a gay man to have a sexual relationship with if he so chose. The fact is he chooses not to.

Okay, okay, I getcha; today's gay male doesn't choose to hump guys, it's that nature has made him like penises above all else. I understand the progressive gay male message: I choose this because nature gives me no choice.

Personally I do believe some people are born with karmic burdens, and why they place themselves under such burdens is unknown to me. I do understand what you are saying, however.

I'd also like to make a point in general, something that keeps coming up in this thread. Gay sex does not, I REPEAT NOT, solely revolve around the "back door".

Yes, this point was made and I agree. Intimacy and oral sex are also great, and surely gay men engage in both of these elements also.

Frankly I am fine with a double standard. Lezzies promote emotional feeling and tenderness whereas gay males are (perhaps stereotypically?) seen as promoting "hookups" and self gratification. I didn't make the world, I'm just callling how I see it. But can gay males make great parents and have great families? The answer is yes.

I am actually sorry I posted in this thread because this whole issue is one big smokescreen. In a few years, there will be much more hunger on Earth. At that point it won't matter if the person who feeds you, is gay or straight. Kindness and human goodness knows no gender or sexual orientation. I love people, gay or otherwise.

But lezzies are hotter.

Just from my personal experience... I had grew up with 2 friends (girl and boy)throughout secondary school (high school), and in the final year, they dated for 2 weeks, and then suddenly both came out as being gay. The girl didn't change at all. She (to put it bluntly) was very tom-boy'ish... in the sense that she liked football, motorcycles, etc. The guy, on the other hand, suddenly turned louder. Can't explain it any other way. Everything he did was a story that had to be told in the most annoying and loud voice he could manage. He would go around, flirting with all the guys, and actually feeling up random girls breasts. The girls just found it funny because "He's gay", but us guys found it very uncomfortable.

I personally don't dislike gay males, but the 'camp' ones I do find really annoying. Doesn't make me homosexual in any way. If they were like that, and as straight as anything, I'd still dislike them. It's their personality that drives me crazy. It's the extremes that I don't like. For example, I dislike the typical rugby/American Football stereotype 'Jock'. "I got so wasted! Then I slept with her! Woo!!!" Or the extreme lesbiens that have a deep voice, spit on the floor, swear at you, then shoot off on their bike after covering themselves with tatoos.

Generally, I find that it's those that are friends with homosexuals that create the problems nowadays. A guy tried to kiss me once, and I pushed them over, shouted at them, and walked off. Suddenly everyone called me a 'gay-basher'. What they didn't realise was that it was an instinctive reaction of repulsion. If a female came onto me that I found very unattractive, I would react in the same way (of course I didn't mean to push him over... I just pushed away).

What really annoys me though, is that the gay community (mainly males) feel they need to have more rights. I have no idea why? Don't they have enough already? Say for example a straight man is really loud and disruptive at work, and they get fired... they get fired because they're disruptive. However, if a gay man is loud and disruptive, and gets fired over it, they can sue the company because they were fired for being gay. "That's just the way I am, you homophobe!"

Like I said at the beginning... just my opinion and experience. I'm friends with homosexuals now, but only because they don't annoy me. And seriously, what's wrong for not liking someone because they annoy me? To each, their own.

A woman can't rape a man or really a women either.

Yet men rape men & women.

Therefore Men are in fear of being raped by men.

Therefore Men fear homosexuals.

That is why they accept lesbianism (no fear)

and look down on homosexuals. (fear)

Men react so differt to homosexuals because a relationship between two men suggests that one (or both) of them voluntarily places himself on the same level as a woman.

Things have changed a lot in the past decades,still most people (men and women) unconsciously see female humans as inferior and lesser being compared to male humans,although most people don`t even realize it.

To demonstrate this, read the first sentence and check your reaction:

-Until 2004,half the population of Kuwait had no right to vote.

Alright,check your emotional reaction to this lack of civil rights in Kuwait.
How strong was your moral reaction?


Now,read the second sentence.Check the strength of your moral and emotional reactions.

-Until 2004,women in Kuwait had no right to vote.

How strong was your moral and emotional outcry after reading this sentence? Not as strong as after reading the first sentence,right?

Most people react strongly to violations of human rights because of traits like religion,race,etc.

But if these violations of human rights occur because the people are women,the reactions are a lot weaker and some people even try to explain why such actions are justified.

Summery: Most people subconsciously still think that women are worth less than men,and because a homosexual man "voluntarily" desends onto the lesser level of a woman,people have trouble accepting that.

Truth is,it`s not important if you are a XX- or a XY-person.

Just try to make this world a better place and stop those people how think in gender-(or other) categories from making this world a living hell for everyone._javascript:icon('')

Click here for more information.

this has most likely been stated already. But religion wont care if you are female or male if you disobey their laws. Homosexuality between women and men are equaly as wrong in the "eyes of the lord" and all that.

However, the minds of men arent too complicated to understand that the lack of a male in a pornographic visual is just as apealing, or even more in some, than there is with heterosexual intercorse. Instead of one attraction (female) you have double, and instead of a negative (another man) they are replaced with that attractiong. Thus, alot of men are perfectly fine with lesbian homosexuality. A heterosexual sexual mind is that of "must have intercorse with women". Now there are double the women. also, heterosexual sexual minds say "intercorse with men is wrong to me and gross" so they view male homosexuality as a horrid thing. Just like many homosexual people think its wrong and gross to them to even think of having sex with the oposite gender.

Now for a womans point of view. Generally, sex is something that is thought at as romantic and what should be done with care and love in the minds of many woman. not something to just get laid (like the minds of most men). So, male homosexuality isnt as apealing to them as female homosexuality is for males because they may find it less romantic and loving because they (women) are not the ones included. Its all hormonal really.

[edit on 19/12/08 by Ghost147]

Well,as has been mentioned several times,many men find the idea of 2 women together sexually stimulating.More importantly,its not threatening.

The idea of 2 men together is a threat because it implies emasculation.And no man likes to be emasculated.

This view has been around for centuries.Along with the fact that during sex one would have to 'be the woman' and women were seen,and still are in some countries,as a lesser being.

So in the past it was like double the shame.Emasculation and lowering yourself to the position of a 'weaker,less intelligent' being.


Edited to add...just seen sakuran's post with the same pov....must make sure i read all posts before replying next time.lol.



[edit on 19-12-2008 by DantesLost]

I just don't like the annoying ones. Like a previous poster said, its not because they are gay, its because of their personality. And also, I think homosexuals are a bit selfish.

Originally posted by lawlb0t
I just don't like the annoying ones. Like a previous poster said, its not because they are gay, its because of their personality. And also, I think homosexuals are a bit selfish.

But this can be said for any social group.

Go to a night club or bar on a Fri/Sat night in any major city, and you'll find young men and women acting just as selfishly and sexually driven as any gay person.

I accept your idea about personality.
I no longer go to gay venues because of this.

I once met a guy at one of these clubs, he was really nice. He seemed intelligent, funny, nice enough. He had only recently started socializing on the "scene".
We went out a couple of times, and almost overnight he became camp, dramatic, bitchy even.

I tried to see past it, I thought that at the very least we could be friends, but when he decided that pop music and the latest fashion was more important than any intelligent discussion about anything, I was immediately turned off. Just having a normal discussion was difficult with him.

He went from intelligent, regular guy who "happened to be gay", to a shallow stereotype. Maybe it made it worse that it happened so quickly and was so clearly a reactive response to environment and unspoken social pressure?

But we are not all like that, at all.

Having said all of this, I do wonder if this is why I am single. People never really expect me to be gay. When I started a new job a couple of years ago (Security, quite a masculine environment) my senior officer only "worked it out" because I would leave when any discussion became slightly homophobic.
While my instincts were to confront the BS they were spouting, I had to be sensible and restrain myself for fear of losing my new job.
Of course, now, I can happily suspend anyone being remotely Homophobic in my presence

So I have wondered if it would be in my benefit to be a little more obvious and add some stereotypical traits, but I quickly see sense and know that any person I attracted after this wouldn't be worth my time.

I still maintain that the primary reason for male homosexuality not being as acceptable, is that heterosexual men see something there that makes them confront things about themselves that they are not willing to face. Perhaps this is an extension of the "emasculation" theory mentioned by another poster?

Originally posted by AccessDenied
WOW!
Can't go any further south than a few posts in this thread.
First off..Any sexual behavior, whether gay or straight, should be maintained with an extreme level of cleanliness and caution, even in a long term relationship.

Not saying this to instigate... but really, how does one keep Anal Sex as a main aspect of sexuality

"Clean and Cautious"

I mean, a guy could anal douche and sphincter bleach...

But what about that is attractive to a woman?

Peoples defense is that "some women find it HOT"

But really "The Fantasy" or "The REALITY"

I have read penthouse letters... I mean all sorts of stuff is "HOT" in THEORY

But most things I have found brought into RL... Not Just this topic, just aren't as hot as in porn... And I have filmed a few pornos and... the "making of" is no where near attractive either 80% of the time

and

What viability do condoms have in Anal Sex?

There is no "Safe" in Anal sex... Condoms tear, I shot one flick, we went through 12 condoms on a single anal scene

Honesty isn't always nice to listen too

But Anal sex tears Condoms up very often... and sometimes acts as an Enema

it's no comment on Homosexual men... it's just Honest, the imagery might be as sexual to a woman... the threats, actions and outcomes are not...

and

I still haven't seen a Lesbian night club get "out of control" EVER... as long as I have lived, women hardly ever choose partners in the numbers men do... very rarely at least by comparison

Honesty isn't always an assault on someones liberty... you practice anal who ever you are, your 10x more likely to get aids, gay men and bi men spread aids, women don't... and guys that can have sex whenever they won't really don't need to be as hard working as a straight guy does... not can't or won't.... just don't need to... what benefit does a woman have encouraging that from a man Real Time?

Not commenting... nor do I care at all what anyone does...more power to you

I just am pointing out the why... it just doesn't work out so well for most hetero women

I dont think it has to do with a man being a pig - at all. Because many women prefer to watch 2 women, rather then having a man thrown in there.

There is nothing wrong with, nor is it a double standard, a man prefering to watch women over men. It doesnt mean they are pigs or homophobes, etc etc. It means SIMPLY: they prefer women over men.

Thank you btw for saying this... personal choice on this topic is 90% as well as most sex (maybe 80%) in a particular direction

Demand for tolerance is mandatory and I can agree with that

Expecting people to like or agree with what in the end amounts to fringe desires and calling names or making blanket statements about people like "racist" or "homophobe" is just wrong

We are supposed to protect people from violence and oppression, not oppress others into doing things they dislike or even accepting them personally if it is wrong or even just dangerous...

Like it or not Male Homosexuality is often dangerous, risky and runs a real risk of being lonely your whole life

No crime to be honest

reply to post by intrepid


Well....

There's nothing wrong with "Love" on any level... and on;ly a fool would think it's "all about Anal"

It's not of course but it's a pretty big factor once you hit the biological reality

Let's face it, most guys won't be with a girl forever if all you get is oral sex... you want to have sex sometimes, so it's real and a part of the picture...

The male LOve, the Artistic expression...the image of it all probably is just as Hot to women as Two women is to men

I'm just saying... From that place

In real time

You will confront certain realities that make it Not Hot


Like many men find the fantasy of their Wives with another man Hot... In Actual Practice.... 1%ers only.... because the reality is.... not anything like the fantasy... Many uncomfortable things will come up...

I'm just pointing out... Woman on Woman carries less baggage, less risk, less gross consequence...

reply to post by wrathchild


Not weird at all

I hate a porno where a Woman is being intimate with a little gross guy like... "Ron Jeremy" or a guy that's not believable in terms of giving her pleasure for whatever reason endowment, looks etc, etc...

Believe it or not a straight guy is capable of seeing sex as Artistic and beautiful and not have issues with it...

and yes

Yet 2 gay guys in the street kissing does gross me out

Why?

Hard to explain... I think 2 guys kissing is more "Gay" than Oral sex... it just registers wrong, "Repulsed" or hard words doesn't apply and I don't think it's social conditioning... because I went to the gayest high School in the history of the world (theater/performing arts) and I'd see it every day

and the "awwwww jeeeeeees" effect never went away...

I hung out with, worked with spent time with got a buzz with these guys daily for years.... and that KKIss in Public always made me go "bleech"


it's just

seeing something you find unappealing right in your face

Like putting a pile of steamed Ocra in front of my face when I'm hungry it might still turn my stomach...

No one ever "made" me hate have a distaste for Ocra I just do...

I'd add to that

AS I said above as a freelance creative type most of my life... I as I said above did film a few pornos...

That didn't turn me on either

Hetero... it's just something in your face (almost literally) you didn't need to see

You'd think being hetero filming a porn would be hot right?

NO

Gross

The Fluffing and extras and... I can't get to detailed it's too graphic... zooming the camera in and out... it's not hot, that's all... caught by surprise some of it could make you loose your lunch


and

It goes with out saying what turns a person on alone or with a partner with a buzz at 2:00 am in mind or conversation is OFTEN very different than what catches you by surprise on a random Tuesday morning or what you'd do in RL

Two guys kissing isn't a turn off for everyone. But two girls getting too close gives me an immediate reaction. So, like I said earlier, its a gender thing. It was never meant for discrimination, rather for self protection so people would respect each others space, and right to say no, and mean it!

It seems to me that the gay women who are accepted, generally, have not lost their femininity. When one thinks of a gay man, we usually imagine a male with very feminine characteristics. Men can be perceived as completely losing their masculinity, whereas women do not. Then you have "butch" lesbians who are found to be repugnant by straight men. It goes both ways...

reply to post by 4demon


I know where you are coming from, and I like that you describe it as not liking extremes...