Why do people tolerate lesbians and not homosexual men?

Honestly, frankly, well... Men are (normally) viewed as strong, masculine, leaders, role models, tough, rough, burley, etc. You get the idea, right. And so, frankly, it's a little disturbing when you see one in a dress, or two of them sticking their tongues down each others throats. Honestly. Sorry, but it's just the way we often see things in this world. As much as I try not to, I feel the urge to when I see two guys acting like that. It doesn't fit with my definition of what being a MAN is suppose to mean. And, frankly, I wish they would keep their sex acts off the internet because when I occasionally accidentally run into such a posted photo, it makes me ill. To each their own, but please, not up in my face, okay? okay!

You got the way most women feel about it nail on the head I think.

Women to a heterosexual Man are Hot when submissive, men even fantasize allot about other men with their partners because the sight of HER orgasm is hot

But seeing your MAN if your a woman, dominated by another man just lacks general appeal to most women I think, She wants... many women at least to feel "SAFE" If a Guy can come along and bugger him... what does that mean for your mating situation if your a woman?

Your vulnerable and on some level from back in the days (or lol parts of the world still today) Freakish thug Men would come along Rape or kill you husband and then take you too

and outside of sexual fantasy... the RL version of that is Loss and despair and Death

Women fantasize about Rape... they also Fantasize about men together

But the reality doesn't match the fantasy

I am not repulsed by either. I was born into this world wondering why people do not tolerate each other and i am still wondering. I am not gay but i am not repulsed at the thought of it. I guess it depends on how you perceive something. This is how i personally perceive this. Love. Its an emotion that feels like a bond. Even friends can love each other. Lust this is when your stimulated and your feelings take control of your thinking. You can be stimulated by a lot of things, words, music, vision and also your own mind. For alot of people this is through vision when it comes to finding a partner. For others it can be personality. I met by boyfriend on the net 5 years ago and found my soul mate. Looks wouldn't have even been an issue. I was chatting to him online 2 months before i saw and met up with him. I fell in love with the person and that is why i'm still with him.
Lust helps you find your partner, my lust was his personality, for otheers like i say it looks, when thats all you find attractive about them and you learn you do not like their attitude or personality you then have problems. Thats probably why freinds beome good partners beacause they know them already? If looks become all important you could be waiting for the perfect person for a very long time. So this to me why it doesn't matter if someone is gay or not. When they are making love that is exaxtly what their doing - expressing their emotions through intimate contact and wanting your partner to know that. The stimulation of the lust (whatever the original form) is still their but it is amplified by the emotions from love.
This is why a one night stand is never as satisfying as making love. Their is no love to amplify, the sensation.

People are sterotyped and that often reflects the majority rather than the minority. We were all brought up whilst this was stating to become acceptable amongst general public. You still have the echoes of the name calling and badnothing - Sinners/UnNatural. Is it really un-natural. Do you see gay animals - Yes. But the stigma is still there, people are so scared of having an oppionion that they float with the majority which is still rather unaccepting. Sad really.

[edit on 17-12-2008 by MCoG1980]

I'm appalled at some of the replies to this post. Two men together are not "disgusting", they do not have a "disease" (I am talking about homosexuality as a supposed disease, not an STD). I am a straight female and I have no problems with two females together or two males together. I believe that people should be allowed to be attracted to their own sex without being shunned or bullied, or, heaven forbid, beat up. There are far too many gay bashings and I think it's awful.

Who cares if a man is a little more effeminate that another man? Who sets the standard, who says a man had to be big, burly, muscly? Who says a woman has to be submissive, with so much makeup caked on you wouldn't recognise them if they weren't wearing it, why do we have to giggle and smile and be ditzy and just let 'the man' take over? Everyone should be able to just BE THEMSELF without fear of being shunned or made fun of. I have many gay friends (both male and female) and they are wonderful people. They are not disgusting or wrong or sick or disturbed. They're just another human being trying to survive in this cut-throat world and I wouldn't want them any other way.


Edit: And I find it extremely sad that there are members here who are open to the idea of aliens, UFOs, reptilian aliens, but they aren't open to accepting people for who they are, even if they are attracted to their own sex.

[edit on 18/12/2008 by narnizzle]

[edit on 18/12/2008 by narnizzle]

Originally posted by Thurisaz
Seems to me, men are the majority of ones to be anti-homosexual. Men don't seem to be as offended by lesbians.

I wonder why that is?

I just don't read too many 'Boycott Lesbian Business' Threads or 'Christianity and the Lesbian Conspiracy' ...

Perhaps men are ok with seeing two women in a relationship but not two men?



[edit on 17-12-2008 by Thurisaz]

Its just dirty pervert men who like the idea of 2 women together.
I find both disgusting.

Originally posted by habeas corpuss

Originally posted by Thurisaz
Seems to me, men are the majority of ones to be anti-homosexual. Men don't seem to be as offended by lesbians.

I wonder why that is?

I just don't read too many 'Boycott Lesbian Business' Threads or 'Christianity and the Lesbian Conspiracy' ...

Perhaps men are ok with seeing two women in a relationship but not two men?



[edit on 17-12-2008 by Thurisaz]

Its just dirty pervert men who like the idea of 2 women together.
I find both disgusting.

I like the idea of 3 or more women together.

One word post coming up:

Aesthetics

Ignoring all the idiotic posts in this thread is really difficult.
It's odd that so many who are willing to consider the most bizarre theories and conspiracies are so ignorant on something so naturally Human. No wonder alien life forms don't just come down to say hello, they probably look at the intolerance of the "religious" masses and know they'd be killed within minutes.

And: FYI, it's been PROVEN that the majority of those with a Homophobic attitude are sexually stimulated by viewing Homosexual material,
Do some research before you start openly denouncing Homosexuality, you're just an embarrassment otherwise.

My view on this...
As previously said "It's a mans world" and many men find Homosexuality a threat to them personally because it makes them think about things that they are not comfortable confronting about themselves.
It has been shown that those who express a Homophobic view are often subconsciously excited by the same thing they are reportedly so against.
I believe this comes down to social conditioning.

People who are raised in an atmosphere where such activity is frowned upon learn to ignore or deny their actual feelings and replace it with an exaggerated negative response.

For most heterosexual men, seeing two women together is sexually stimulating, and because being aroused by women is acceptable, this scenario becomes acceptable too.

Of course, the real truth is that sexual desire is rarely black and white. More people have bisexual tendencies than any of us believe, and fetishes also play a large part in sexual desire. If a person can have a fetish for anything, it is likely that a man can perceive himself as being heterosexual and have a fetish for something male.
Men are more sexually stimulated by imagery and general sexual behavior, regardless of whether it depicts men or women.
Sexual desires change over time too, they evolve as you develop intellectually and change through social surroundings.

You have to also consider that men are extremely competitive. They are forever comparing themselves to others and assessing their dominance. As men are driven more by sexual urges than women, it is fair to suggest that this competitive nature expresses itself in sexual ways too.

You have to wonder why so many scream about the sexual practices of others, when they purportedly have no stake in that choice.

Basically, lesbianism is accepted by men because it turns them on and it's acceptable to be turned on by women. Two men is frowned upon because the majority of men are conditioned to say that this is unacceptable while completely ignoring what is going on "down there".

And of course, most men will also ignore any scientific study based on this because that too tells them things that they don't want to face.

WOW!
Can't go any further south than a few posts in this thread.
First off..Any sexual behavior, whether gay or straight, should be maintained with an extreme level of cleanliness and caution, even in a long term relationship.
It's just safer that way.
Second, I have no problem with anyone displaying affection to another of their gender. Love is love, and I'm not talking lust. Lust is a different entity all together.
I believe the trend of going Bi-sexual these days, is fueled by the male dominated "Sexual ego" and they they love to see two women together, so the women do it just to please the men. The young women anyways.
As was pointed out by an earlier post, some men might do the same, as they are attracted to women as well, but we put out a lot of BS I suppose that some just don't want to deal with.
Look at it this way,at least it reduces the number of pregnancies and abortions.
The one thing I disagree on here, that was posted... was a female with 2 males. There doesn't have to be anything gay about it, and whoever said it wasn't satisfactory for her or ended ugly?
Obviously no one else here will speak from personal experience.
Both men MUST be comfortable with their masculinity. Apparently a rarity when they think of showing it in front of other guys.
*NEWSFLASH*
The size of what's in your pants doesn't make you more, or less of a man.
There's a big reality check for 80% of this site.

Time to before I get red flagged.

Originally posted by Thurisaz
Seems to me, men are the majority of ones to be anti-homosexual. Men don't seem to be as offended by lesbians.

I wonder why that is?

I just don't read too many 'Boycott Lesbian Business' Threads or 'Christianity and the Lesbian Conspiracy' ...

Perhaps men are ok with seeing two women in a relationship but not two men?



[edit on 17-12-2008 by Thurisaz]

have you seen the average porn its all women on women or threesomes always with two women.
dont get me wrong porn doent bother me.
but for some reason men love the idea of women at it but for some reason they think when a mans gay he automatically fancys them.

To me gay couples are not atractive no matter what sex they are. But, if I had to watch a gay couple, I'd pick two women, because of the reason that actor guy (cant remember the nick) said - it's cleaner, and less painfull.
and things going into ass are just yuck!


[edit on 18-12-2008 by MrMot]

I tolerate both,tolerate isnt the right word,i really couldnt care what sex people chose to love etc but i find lesbians attractive when they fondle each other compared to homosexual men which makes me cringe a bit,what can i say...

Originally posted by Thurisaz
Why do people tolerate lesbians and not homosexual men?

Sexism.

Originally posted by Alxandro
Probably because many lesbians are not really lesbian.
The hot babes that get it on with each other are called lipstick lesbians and do so just to put on a show and to get a rise out of men.

Thank you for the illustration.

It's an interesting topic, but some of the posts are pretty scary. I don't "tolerate" lesbians any more than homosexual men. I totally accept them both. I love love. In any manifestation between consenting adults.

reply to post by Divinorumus


I like men who don't accept that model.

Originally posted by Alxandro
Probably because many lesbians are not really lesbian.
The hot babes that get it on with each other are called lipstick lesbians and do so just to put on a show and to get a rise out of men.

The angry butch kind are the true lesbians, they are always ready and willing to whip out a can of whoopass, so don't piss them off.

Pray tell, who convinced you of this erroneous little bit of information? "Lipstick Lesbian" is a slightly crude term for a lesbian whose appearance defies the stereotype of a butch, masculine woman. These are lesbians whose appearance is feminine and delicate, and there are a great many of them lving in the world--they are not aberrant cases in the lesbian community or heterosexuals "faking it" for male pleasure. I know this must make your little brain ache, but reality is very often difficult to comprehend. If a woman is putting on a show solely to arouse men rather than to fulfill genuine desires, then she is not a lesbian at all--"lipstick" or otherwise.

Reading through the posts here, I have to wonder what the reaction would be to my own sexuality. As a bisexual female whose appearance and demeanor is more feminine than most women I know, I must be either completely baffling or absolutely pathetic to most of you. It's a good thing that I don't look to public opinion as a guide to my own sex life. I suggest the rest of you deviants do the same.

Now where on earth is pluckynoonez?

Good point, personnally i'd rather watch the L Word than the G Word anyday. Sexist but at least us Hetros can get some voyeurisim going on.. :-) Merry Christmas..

mopusvindictus is right but people's minds are too soft for truth.

Gay males = gross when you get down to it. But also, women will get up to some sick stuff as well, as has been mentioned. Body fluids and ejecta will always fascinate people and yes, extremeism is a goal in itself for both men and women.

I am completely in love with the idea of a temple arrangement where men can go and observe a female orgy. Why not? Sounds delightful, and also it allows men to get aroused by female bodies and to gain a desire for what is right (as opposed to males who get preyed upon by other males and then have no ROUTE to learn about females!) ...There is a lot of sexual vampirism in gay male society, more than other dynamics I'd say. But this force which aligns males toward males is defused and rendered less powerful when female sexuality is openly displayed and available to such men. I think a lot of gay males wish women weren't such bitches, which society DOES encourage them toward being.

We are all hurting each other, in truth, but I believe more gay males would convert to the winning team if they could just have an environment where they could get close to the yumminess of the female. Since they get punked and played by this modern-day female, it's no shock that they hook up to feel emotionally loved. Women are not easy to understand sometimes and these men feel overwhlemed with emotions but have no outlet because the females are similarly emotionally stunted like everyone in today's world.

As for lipstick lesbians, I am all for it. Without lipstick: That's fine too.

Ah, I neglected to address the OP in my initial response.

I don't know that the general public really does tolerate lesbians more than gay men.
The entertainment industry is our most visible gauge of the interests of the public. As they say in the entertainment business, sex sells. Heterosexual men comprise the bulk of the consumer base for adult material, and thus their interests are reflected in the material provided in this realm. The prolific success of girl-on-girl erotica in the adult industry has carried over into mainstream entertainment. It has been a fantastic success there as well. Men very often enjoy watching two women in intimate acts, provided they fit the "sexy and feminine" description. Sex between two women is purely erotic for men--it is the safest type of arousal (where the ego is concerned). Witnessing two men, on the other hand, brings a number of challenges to the masculine sense of security and adherence to traditional roles. And as for two butch women, well, that holds no value at all for most heterosexual men--it is simply unappealing.

The acceptance of lesbian behavior that you find among the populace is a false acceptance. It is an interest and pleasure in sexuality (not to be confused with relationships) between attractive women, behavior that is presented in the form of a spectacle, not an acceptance of lesbians on the whole. Homosexuality among both genders is still a hugely taboo subject.

[edit on 18/12/08 by paperplanes]

Originally posted by detachedindividual
Ignoring all the idiotic posts in this thread is really difficult.
It's odd that so many who are willing to consider the most bizarre theories and conspiracies are so ignorant on something so naturally Human. No wonder alien life forms don't just come down to say hello, they probably look at the intolerance of the "religious" masses and know they'd be killed within minutes.

And: FYI, it's been PROVEN that the majority of those with a Homophobic attitude are sexually stimulated by viewing Homosexual material,

Do some research before you start openly denouncing Homosexuality, you're just an embarrassment otherwise.

My view on this...
As previously said "It's a mans world" and many men find Homosexuality a threat to them personally because it makes them think about things that they are not comfortable confronting about themselves.
It has been shown that those who express a Homophobic view are often subconsciously excited by the same thing they are reportedly so against.
I believe this comes down to social conditioning.

People who are raised in an atmosphere where such activity is frowned upon learn to ignore or deny their actual feelings and replace it with an exaggerated negative response.

For most heterosexual men, seeing two women together is sexually stimulating, and because being aroused by women is acceptable, this scenario becomes acceptable too.

Of course, the real truth is that sexual desire is rarely black and white. More people have bisexual tendencies than any of us believe, and fetishes also play a large part in sexual desire. If a person can have a fetish for anything, it is likely that a man can perceive himself as being heterosexual and have a fetish for something male.
Men are more sexually stimulated by imagery and general sexual behavior, regardless of whether it depicts men or women.
Sexual desires change over time too, they evolve as you develop intellectually and change through social surroundings.

You have to also consider that men are extremely competitive. They are forever comparing themselves to others and assessing their dominance. As men are driven more by sexual urges than women, it is fair to suggest that this competitive nature expresses itself in sexual ways too.

You have to wonder why so many scream about the sexual practices of others, when they purportedly have no stake in that choice.

Basically, lesbianism is accepted by men because it turns them on and it's acceptable to be turned on by women. Two men is frowned upon because the majority of men are conditioned to say that this is unacceptable while completely ignoring what is going on "down there".

And of course, most men will also ignore any scientific study based on this because that too tells them things that they don't want to face.

What a complete load of hogwash.
This is just the same old usual excuses for being a weird freak who wants to hump other men in there waste chute.
Telling normal people who don't think that type of thing is appropriate, that they don't like it because really its what they want to do.
How dare you speak this nonsense, and try to tell all straight normal men that they really want to have sex with men.
And then try and base that complete bs on science.

Im not appauled or grossed out by either. But porn is not a part of my life anymore.

However, from a woman's viewpoint....women are naturally passionate and sexy...and have beautiful bodies. Men together seem to lack passion and sexiness. So most porn with women together are more passionate. Most gay (with men) porn is more like "wam bam thank you mam". Also, many just dont like men's genatalia. Many, not all. Also, most men would rather see women naked rather then men naked....because well, they prefer to be with women. Certainly nothing wrong with that.

So, I think the 2 women together is more appealing to both genders for these simple reasons.

[edit on 12/18/2008 by greeneyedleo]