Existence of soulmates?

About a year ago I would not have been caught dead posting on this website. I wouldn't have listened to anyone talk about aliens or UFOs without snarking. I thought people who believed in aliens or New Age stuff were either charlatans or the sort of people that dressed like Klingons in their spare time. I apologize for this now, but that is exactly how I was. I was a debunker. Yes, I said it. Not a skeptic. A debunker.

Then a series of events took place that changed my mind about the mystical. The sort of events where if I hadn't gone in direction A then B wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't have done B then C wouldn't have happened and A, B, and C were so out of the ordinary for me and overly coincidental that I had/have no explanation for the whys of it.

Quite by accident, I ended up meeting the strangest fellow--well, strange to me at the time. He was overly spritely (I am not). He was funny (I am not). He believed in aliens (I did not). He flys by the seat of his pants (I plan). He is the antithesis of what I like or would have wanted in a person, but...I feel like the missing piece of my life's puzzle has been put into place.

We were at a great distance so I felt it was safe to confide in this person and so I confided. I confided so much that we made lists of these facts we wanted to share. We told secrets. We had so much in common that was unexpected and strange that I began to wonder about this topic. Are there soulmates?

For months we talked and it felt like everything Plato reasoned about: a marriage of minds. There was no one in my long acquaintance that knew me better, nor no one I trusted as much with my innermost thoughts. In every thought, every idea I knew he would understand. I was so blissfully happy and content just talking to him. I told my best friend that I would rather talk with him over the phone than date someone else in person. I decided that I would rather be alone and have him as a friend then be with someone else and have to divide time from him.

When we decided to meet it was as if it was a homecoming. He looked exactly like I thought he would look, he smelled righter than anyone in the world, and there was this otherworldly feeling to it all that is indescribeable.

We shouldn't have met, but we did. We had impediments in our way...soooooo many impediments but they kept falling to one side. All of the reasons for not being together became un-reasons without so much as a lifting of the finger. When I saw him I felt a physical manifestation shoot through me.

I always hated the notion that a human could complete you. What did that have to say for us logical people who decided that PhDs were important and that relationships were icing on the cake of life, not life itself?

And yet...here I am acting in ways that I have never acted before. I give in all the time (this post is an example actually) to his desires without him having to tell me--I simply want him to be happy more than I want me to be happy and that is a first. I feel as though we are on the same team and the rest of the world is our opponent. When we are together I feel wholly at peace.

Yes, this sounds like love, but I've been in love before. Here is someone who even the things I hate, I love. He is the missing piece to my puzzle.

So my question is: do you people believe in soulmates?

Have you ever felt a spiritual or physical feeling around another person? The closest feeling I can describe is that same feeling you have for the first ten minutes that you trip on mushrooms. It is a physical feeling at all times in his presence.

Also *wipes brow nervously over what she is about to confess, knowing she will seem like she's full of shat* I can tell when he's going to call or text. I can tell when he's sad even if I haven't talked to him. Sometimes I physically feel him.

Anyone else like this?


[edit on 1-12-2008 by Rintendo]

reply to post by Rintendo


You may want to read "Journey of the Souls" by Michael Newton, he is a psychologist that published a group of case studies during 'between life' regression therapies in the early 90's. The story of how he came upon this, if he is telling the truth, is fascinating as are the patients recollections.

If it is legit, meaning he did not make everything up, it will easily explain the situation you find yourself in and will, I think, bring you even greater joy if you feel you recognize it.

Cheers!
TWISI

PS - I also found an old interview of him on YouTube when I was reading that helped me get a personal perspective on him.

reply to post by TheWayISeeIt


Thank you. I'll look it up. I'm a believer now.

I'll tell ya...I was a different person before I met him. I didn't believe in any of this stuff. There was a logical explanation for everything. I used to tell my friends that love was just a series of chemical reactions in the brain. Again, I'd been in love before, but this is different.

For example, I always said I wouldn't date someone without a degree--I even updated as I got my PhD to say that I wouldn't date anyone without even a Master's degree because it "spelled trouble".

He has no degree, no desire for a degree AND he says that I am "way too into science". Apparently, I need to "go with my gut more". Going with my gut has simply never been "me". Why go with the gut when the Universe works on logic? Or maybe it doesn't...

This is not logical on paper, but as I went through the motions of whatever this is I decided that it was extremely logical. All the pieces fell exactly into place.

We're alike in our values (crucial), but pretty much nothing else. He is warm and golden, I am cool and fair. He's a blonde and I have black hair. He is full of mirth where I am sober. It is a coming together of light and dark, a yin and yang...exactly like the old adage.

I do feel like I have known him before. There are times when I look into his eyes and I see this breadth of time...ah heck. I can't explain it. It sounds silly to even try. I just know that, even with all of the impediments, we work, and it is silly to even question it any longer.

Somehow the Universe brought us together. I am infinitely grateful.


[edit on 1-12-2008 by Rintendo]

I debated on posting this. I wrote it up in Word. Copied it here. Deleted it. And repeated a few times

Wow. I think you have written my story. I could almost write (and it be true) all your words. I’m actually a little freaked out at reading your words, because I feel like you have been in my mind and my life. It’s very strange to read something so familiar, that is coming from someone else.

I never used to believe in soul mates. And really scoffed at the idea of it. But I do now. Because I found him. And the relationship is like NO other – for both of us.

About a year ago I would not have been caught dead posting on this website. I wouldn't have listened to anyone talk about aliens or UFOs without snarking. I thought people who believed in aliens or New Age stuff were either charlatans or the sort of people that dressed like Klingons in their spare time. I apologize for this now, but that is exactly how I was. I was a debunker. Yes, I said it. Not a skeptic. A debunker.

Quite by accident, I ended up meeting….

I accidentally found this website (literally on accident) and had never ever been to a place like this before. I too am like you, as I did not believe in UFOs/Aliens and my initial thought of it all was: only crazy people believe in such things. It was quite awhile before I even visited the UFO forum. I thought, why would I go to a place where crazy people talk about this stuff. I am a very logical thinking person and the whole idea of it all was WAY too much for me to accept. In fact, I still tend to be one of ATS’ resident skeptics However, he is very much part of this UFO topic. And he managed to open my eyes and mind and expand the world I know…which is not easy to do For he is a highly intelligent and brilliant person and if he has this passion for this stuff, there must be a legitimate reason...one that I can have faith in too.  Never ever ever would have thought Id even talk to someone who believes in this stuff, let alone start “believing” myself  But here I am.

I feel like the missing piece of my life's puzzle has been put into place.

For months we talked and it felt like everything Plato reasoned about: a marriage of minds.

I simply want him to be happy more than I want me to be happy and that is a first. I feel as though we are on the same team and the rest of the world is our opponent. When we are together I feel wholly at peace.

We were at a great distance so I felt it was safe to confide in this person and so I confided. I confided so much that we made lists of these facts we wanted to share. We told secrets. We had so much in common that was unexpected and strange that I began to wonder about this topic. Are there soulmates?

Exactly. I have never been so like minded with anyone or so bonded to someone on such deep levels...especially someone coming from somewhere completely different than me (on many levels). And I am in my 30s, so I am well versed in relationships  I too am at most peace when im with this person – no matter how we are together.

Yes. I am quite the independent person and it is hard for me to share my mind and my thoughts and even my heart with just anyone. Yet this person is truly my other half and whatever I think or whatever I feel or whatever I experience, he does too (and vice verse).
We know each other so well, I believe it’s on some spiritual or supernatural level. Hard to explain. But we know each other’s thoughts and always finish each others sentences. We often can sense something is wrong, whilst we are going about our everyday lives – apart.

We shouldn't have met, but we did. We had impediments in our way...soooooo many impediments but they kept falling to one side. All of the reasons for not being together became un-reasons without so much as a lifting of the finger.

This is very nice to read, because I can completely relate to the obstacles. As we have some big ones to overcome. At least we are over the language/culture one  Yet, as you put it, somehow we were brought together, and both of us to this day are in awe at how it happened. And yes, I can also relate to physically feeling him. Like I said, it’s a very real spiritual or supernatural thing going on and I have a hard time finding words for it.

As I said, I never believed in soul mates and for me to feel this way about someone says a lot. For me to be so bonded and so like minded with someone is very new to me and nothing I have experienced before (with all my experiences).

In fact, when I was young I used to have these dreams about some guy I would eventually meet. I never thought much of it. But when I met him, It was literally deja vu for me....as if I had known him forever. I knew things about him before he even told me. I could go on and on with some of the strange things that have occured between us

So, yes, I do believe in Soul Mates, because I found mine. Some miraculous way we were brought together and cant imagine life without each other.


[edit on 12/1/2008 by greeneyedleo]

Hi,
the standard concept of Soul Mates is a misunderstanding that has gone on for too long.

The Soul you are is massive, and extremely powerful. It can and does have multiple incarnations at any time. So each one of those incarnations of your soul can be seen to be a soul mate in the strictest sense.

Yet, we have many friends who we have spent many lives with, they too are soul mates... as in friends you have known for the longest time. These people you usually feel a connection to on first meeting.

Most people believe they must find their soul mate in order to be complete and happy. That is the misunderstanding.

Even the terrible relationship you had in the past, that you learned a lot about yourself in, learned to stand in your power and be vigilant with your personal boundaries in, can be said to have been a relationship with a soul mate.

Soul mates do not have to be anything we think they should be! Therefore they can be anyone we meet, and we do not have to have a loving relationship with them. Sometimes all you are working on can be finalised in a short meeting, a small friendship or hateship.

I would suggest that you now work on completing yourself, and not seeing yourself as whole through another person. That is the path to dependancy, and it will have many lessons/reminders for you.

So enjoy what you have for now, ask yourself what is in this relationship for you. What has it cost you so far? Did you end one relationship to be with this other? If so, what did you learn about yourself from doing that?

One must be whole in themselves before we can really love others unconditionally. Dependance on another person to feel the way you described is a false action. Look into this relationship to see what you are meant to be learning from it.

I feel, this person has come into your life to turn you around, to turn around your mental processes, to turn around your beliefs and values in order to move ahead in more clarity. This is part of your own spiritual awakening, walk it well.

[edit on 1-12-2008 by Tayesin]

[edit on 1-12-2008 by Tayesin]

Yes .....In fact I knew mine approx 17 years before we got together ..
I was unhappy with my ex and working as a waitress and would pass by this guy every morning in an alley (He was working at True Value store and used to work on Washers and dryers in the alley behind the store) we would talk for awhile everyday ...nothing seemed strange about it to me back then ..he was a very friendly guy and so was I ..But both of us were married ......I had no idea I would end up with him 17 years later ....we had not seen eachother in years after that .....and one day (about seven years later) three months after both of us had been divorced (almost the same months even ) I needed to go to the store ..I wasnt going to go in ..and asked my best friend to go in for me ..she refused ...so I went on in ..there he was at the counter at the same time I was ..(he just needed a loaf of bread and I was there for a lb of coffee) ...we said hi ..small chit chat and he handed me his card ...that night I called him ..he came over ...sat with me for a bit and I just leaned into his arms (not even sure why ) and I felt like I had come home ..(never felt that ever and have been in love before ) .....he told me that he had always been in love with me ..and I just melted ..(Total opposite of a man than anyone I would have picked) everything about him was NOT what I thought I wanted .
he turned out to be the very best thing that ever happened to me ..
And he knows me well ..I know him well ..he feels me ..I feel him ..no need for words 90 % of the time .we already know what eachother is going to say .

It has been 13 years since that day ..and we are even happier than we were that day ...it is awesome ..And I cannot thank GOD enough for the way things turned out in my life (after all I have been through) this love was well worth WAITING FOR and well worth what I went through to find him (or we found eachother ..or God set it all up .and made sure that it went down just as it did ) ..or all three ...not sure ..but it was so worth the wait ..............

I am THRILLED FOR YOU OP >....


PS the neatest thing is I had a dream about a man just like him and looked just like him YEARs before I ever even met him ...I did not remember that dream or put two and two together until a few years after we got together .


[edit on 1-12-2008 by Simplynoone]

Trust me they exist. You just have to want it bad enough. And keep looking. Sometimes for a very long time.

I am not real sure about the existance of soul mates.

My take on it is that we were once androgynous beings and we became split apart in this incarnation.

With this line of thinking I would believe that our soul mate would be the completion of us and quite possibly would not be incarnated at the same time as we are, but instead waiting in another place for reunion when our earthly task is done.

I have never loved so deeply that I felt the other person could complete me, in fact I think I am already complete, yet the * other * of me is not accessible in this realm.

Which doesn't mean that there isn't a way to contact this completion of me, I just haven't found it.

reply to post by Tayesin


You know, the thing is...I thought I was complete. I have an extremely well paying job. I finally got my PhD. I've seen every country in the world I wanted to see save one...I pretty much felt I was complete in every way and was missing out on nothing. I was perfectly content and happy with myself.

It wasn't until I met this person that I felt like I needed to be with anyone. Interesting that you said bad relationship in the past...definitely I have had one of those (hasn't everyone?) All I learned from it is that you can survive them and be content with yourself. Nothing too costly.

Had it not been for that relationship I wouldn't have had my PhD which I had thought for so long was the true love of my life.

This is what the Jewish mystics would call bashert, I think. Soulmates, you are correct, could be anyone and don't necessarily have to make you happy. I believe they can make you think or grow in some way.

I honestly didn't think that my lot in life was to be "happy" in that respect. I felt I already had been given a lot, so why this, too?

reply to post by Rintendo


If soulmate's fit your life and help's you carry through life, in this awareness you question.

Then for you of course, I would say believe in soulmates.

You know, In my life, thing's have happened to me, so "fated". I couldn't ignore or run away from. There are many people in my life, I have the afinity and deep bond with. Most of these people I run away from because of fearing, the truth. Just like you I feel.

The fear of believing there are people out there, that just seem to fit every shape you think or act of feel. It's like they just know you, and you just know them.

None of us know why, none of will truly understand why we connect to some people on such a profound level. But what I do know is that if we did know all and know the purpose? Then what be the point of carrying out a relationship with a soulmate?

It raises many question's. It has raised many question's in my life too. But from my honest hunch feeling. Soulmates come into your life to complete you, as completeing you, completes all. one of you, is all and all of you is one.

Everyone is a soulmate to each other in a general sense. The ones you meet, are here to teach you as you are with them. That is all you need to know about that. The ones that are of higher realms, and closer bonds
would be of Karmic soulmates, Twin flames, Twin ray's and twin souls.

Karmic soulmates' These are souls, of where you had many past lives with, or have met in other dimensions. These are almost alway's unfinished business.
I have met quite a few of these, many of who are work mates and some school mates growing up. The first intial reaction from these experiences were that they hated me or I hated them for no real reason. These were really significant feeling's. It's called karma, and you have to put the karmic cycles right to move on with your life.


Twin flames, are souls, which is the other half of you. The soulmate that completes you. These soul's are here to unite as one again. When this happen's it's for soul work for the world. Not everyone meets them, and they are not common. These relationships are not to be confused with crushes, falling in love episodes, dreamy quality to good to be true relationship's. Twin flames can be of spirit, they can be your relative, mother, brother, sisiter and even of the same sex. You meet them for a very very specific reason. When you meet them in the physical world, your soul will resonate so strongly with the other, it's intensity is pure love for each other that radiates like waves throughout the planet. You will know what you have to do, and if you meet your twin soul, you will know for sure. You have have just be shown a divine duty for you in this life with this other person.

Twin ray's and twin souls, are much higher than that of soulmate, but not as pure as twinflames. As imo there are only 1 twin flame. Twin rays and twin souls are deep connection's with certain people in your life, that comes with great soul work, they are can sometimes be nearly as profound as twinflames. You can have more than one twin soul or twin ray too. It's debatable as to how many, but I've never seen any figure go over 10 anyway.

I might create a thread about this. But great thread I must say. It's late so I kinda rushed this post

reply to post by Rintendo


I think certain people are meant to be together.

What I mean by that is certain people it's as if they don't have a choice in life because the strange feelings drive these people together often as if it was pre-planned out.

I'm a firm believer in that we don't actually have choices, we are here for a reason and if we make the wrong choice the right one will always present itself in a most unusual way.

I have a female friend, which I've been friends with for over 20 years. I know what she is both thinking and feeling just by looking at her. In fact I know what she is feeling before I even talk to her. Even more odd yet she knows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling before she talks to me.

Only bad part about these situations is you can't lie because if you do they know you are every time.

We both chose to live separate lives but more and more things change themselves forcing us together more and more often. It's a strange enough situation I got friends involved to see what they thought when they hear the whole story they just start talking about destiny which I have never really believed in until maybe about 2 years ago

reply to post by Rintendo


Why don't you just ask the person if they think the two of you may be soulmates and talk about it? How do you think they would react, what if they think you are a needy person and stay away from you? Regardless of what their answer may be, go ahead and ask, nothing to lose really, just do it.

After being celibate for 9 years after my last divorce I met a man on an Internet dating service one night in December. We chatted a few minutes then I never answered his messages again and he finally stopped trying.

Exactly a year later he messaged me again and I decided to talk more this time.

He is the total opposite than I am. I like to live life on the edge. I am extroverted and never met a stranger. He is quiet and never indulged in alcohol, drugs or other things that were a part of my life. He reminded me of my father and his old fashioned ways.

We've been living together now for two years. Last night I told him we should be thankful to his 4 ex wives and my 4 husbands because they helped us learn what we needed to do to keep a good relationship going.

As far as soul mates, I don't know if we are. I have another male friend that I feel is more of a soul mate but we would be like Bonnie and Clyde together. I also have a female friend I truly believe is my soul mate.

My man and I are in our 60's and feel we are ready to settle down. He wants to marry me but I will never , ever marry again.

We are yin and yang and fit together perfectly. He keeps me grounded and I add a nice spice to his life. Our love is much more than sexual.

I honestly can't count the men I have thought I've been in love with. What I feel now is the most powerful feeling I've ever felt for a man.

Maybe he is my soul mate. I do know he's a keeper.

Hmmm, I wonder if our mushy feelings tonight are the result of the moon, and planet alignment tonight? I am not normally mushy.



[edit on 1-12-2008 by dizziedame]

I've heard the soul mate and twin flame terms over the years... but have you all heard about "mingling DNA"? This is new to me this year. It seems it is sort of like when you have 2 nerve endings and the chemical synapse leaps the gap - except it's not in your own brain. It's along the theory that we're all energy in different forms of concentration and enlightenment and that the borders of our physical beings might not necessarily really be the "borders" we think they are.

Sometimes you meet others and lock eyes and zap - it's a charge or a chemical etc. that leaps the gap - between you two. Anyway - Marie D. Jones who has writen PSIence talked about this in a lecture.

Also - here is a really great TED.com lecture on love that might really really help you - by Anthropologist Helen Fisher - it's brilliant and eye opening enjoy

www.ted.com...

I had to go through a living hell to meet my soulmate, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I can be miles away from her, and she knows what I'm thinking and if something is wrong. We'll both start to say something and realize that we're about to say the same thing, and it's not something that is commonly said. It's an incredible feeling and I've never been as happy as I am with her.

awe... I like this thread. It's like valentines day on ATS

I believe in soulmates, but I don't believe they have anything to do with who you end up with. We can end up with a soulmate, but they are not always the right sex or age for that.

So far, I can honestly say I've met two soulmates, however they've both been males. They are both my best friends. The more recent one def. puts me at ease. I'm all smiles when I'm around him. it's like I have no more worries. It's great, however I do long to meet a female soulmate, as physical affection is a big thing in a human life.

I hope everyone is fortunate enough to find that particular person that makes them realize how much they are capable of, how far they are willing to go, how deeply they can feel. It's a blessing beyond words. And if you don't believe it before it happens, it's like a brick between the eyes. But you find you don't care because you enjoy watching the stars too much.

reply to post by Scaye


I have friends that I have gone through trials and tribulations with, my best friend for example. We don't have "chemistry" but we have history and love and I wouldn't trade her for any amount of riches. She's the best gal friend ever and no one else can have her!

And then there is this instant connection that shouldn't be there without the history, without the trials. This whole thing baffled me for awhile there. My logical mind has a hard time with it.

No offense to the lovely individual who brought up the soulmate stuff and all the wording about completing myself and learning from this, but it is that existential stuff that I sort of threw off as hoo-hoo about a year ago. I thought that psychics were just observant people who guessed well. I thought that precognition was just matrix thinking by duel-brainers. There was a scientific explanation for everything.

In fact...if I thought long and hard about this I could do the math and somehow demystify it.

I just can't demystify the feeling. Maybe "soulmate" is the wrong word and what I meant was bashert. Yes, I have a feeling that a task needs to be done...there is an urge to complete a task, I'll admit that. But...its more than that. It's happiness and joy. I have had happiness. It's an art. Joy...much less so.

There is another idea on all this of course...

It could be a strong attraction that has to do with karma.

I'm sure we've all been attracted to people in our lives that clearly were not excellent choices (if you're not sure... think of an actor or actress that you would be pretty thrilled to have ask you out... and then go read their bio - it is almost always sad and disappointing). But let's say you are attracted to someone and can't figure out why - it may be that you have unfinished business or past life connection ... I forgot to mention that this was par of that "mingling" lecture. It's as if you swap / mingle electrons and are eternally "linked"

But this isn't only with your "true love" - you can feel this with people you pass on the street, close friends that you click with faster than others you've known for years, and clearly your children as soon as they are born and can focus are searching and scanning you for that link up.

And if all this isn't metaphysical enough... what if...

We aren't always us. Haven't you ever looked back at someone from your past that you were crazy about or at least tolerant of and when you think of them now - you can't even fathom that you were that crazy person in that relationship with that crazy person.

Well, maybe you weren't. Maybe our bodies are vessels and souls float in and out (maybe all at once or maybe piece by piece.) Supposedly 7 years from now every cell in the body that you have right now, will have been replaced by a new cell.

Hmmm. Which one is hiding your soul? Or does every cell have a little soul like DNA or is it completely separate - in which case - why does it have to by tied to this body?

Interesting stuff, heh? Makes monogamy complicated too -