U.S. Military Recruit? Here is how you will be respected.

Prefacing information:

My daughter went into BCT (Basic Combat Training) at Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri on August 14th. She took with her a snapshot that had been taken by some one (still unidentified at this time) at a family reunion many years back. Because my family suffered a house fire that destroyed all family photos taken prior to it, this photo is the only snapshot my daughter had with both myself and my ex-husband in it. We have yet to locate the person who gave us this picture to get a replacement. My ex-husband died a little over 2 years ago from cancer - my daughter suffered that loss at the age of 17.

This is her account of the incident of destruction of private property that occurred during her in-processing that occurred on the night of August 14th of this year...

43rd Reception Battalion of Ft. Leonard Wood, MO

Once I arrived there (at or around 10:00 pm on August 14, 2008), I was informed that we weren't allowed to have pitures with anyone with their shirt off. At that point it didn't click in my head that my dad's shirt was off. [...in the picture she had taken with her] When we emptied out our personal bags to get rid of any contraband, I did the right thing and showed them the picture of my father. The woman that was going through my things picked up the picture and said something like, "You know you can't have any nudity in pictures, right?" I responded and explained to her that I didn't know before I arrived there and that the picture was of my deceased father and my mother and that it was the only picture that I have of my mother and father together. At that point she began to rip the picture and I was like "woah, can't I just mail it home?" and she said I could not and proceeded to rip the picture."

This is the email I sent to [email protected] which was the email contact for the commandant for MP training for the Army:

> Dear Sir,
>
> On August 14th, 2008, my daughter, [PRIVATE INFORMATION REMOVED] arrived at Ft. Leonard
> Wood Reception Battalion and began her in-processing for BCT to become an
> MP. During that in-processing, one of your soldiers (my daughter believes
> she was a Sergeant, but is unsure), destroyed a photograph of myself and
> my daughter's father. My daughter's father passed away in 2007 [sic - 2006 is the correct year] from
> cancer, and the photograph she had taken with her was the only snapshot
> that showed the two of us together. My daughter explained this to the
> woman (who was African American - to assist in identifying her) when the
> woman began to tear the picture. The woman explained that because it had
> nudity (my ex-husband was sitting in a lawnchair without a shirt on) that
> she could not keep the photo. My daughter then requested if there was
> anyway she could return it home by mail. The woman simply destroyed the
> photo. We have no negative of this photograph because it was taken by
> some one else and given to us. At this point, with many years passed, I
> cannot even recall who that would have been. This unique keepsake my
> daughter treasured is gone for good. I have attached a scanned copy of
> the photograph and my daughter's written account of what occurred.
>
> I don't get upset easily, Sir. But I must tell you that this occurrence
> enrages me beyond words. I would think that it would not be too much to
> ask to have this person identified and then request of this woman to write
> a letter of apology to my daughter. This would allow my daughter to
> understand the woman may actually have a heart (though actions to date do
> not bear that assumption out), but also give Rachel (and myself) a sense
> of reassurance that this might not happen again to another young man or
> woman entering the service. If the U.S. military cannot show that it
> understands and shares the importance of what people enlist for (their
> family as well as their country), it can't begin to expect as much from
> those it enlists.
>
> This was an unconscionable act, and amends are in order, and are expected.
>
> The apology can be mailed to...[PRIVATE INFORMATION REMOVED]

No apology was issued to my daughter. This is what you can expect.

There's nothing here worth honoring as far I can tell.

What that woman did to your daughter infuriates me. Some people in this world follow orders and rules to a tee.They only see in black and white.I used to attend a christian school when I was younger and my teachers were just like this. My whole family is also in the navy.Military is all about following orders and not asking questions, so I believe that is the perfect job for the sergeant.She is probably just a sheep following the sheperd, bahhh. Well I truly hope someone will reply to your email and apologize/ create a loophole in a concrete rule. Best of luck!! = )

You can bet I will be sending an e-mail for you. Everybody else who reads this should e-mail them as well.

Sorry about this experience.

[edit on 11/26/08 by blowfishdl]

My letter for you:

To Whom May or Apparently May Not Be Concerned:

You are receiving this e-mail because of extremely disgraceful actions on the part of BCT officers.

A child who gave up their life to submit to the needs of America and the military during extremely rough times in the middle east was # on and I am demanding you apologize to their family. The child had a picture of her dead father who died of cancer to carry her through BCT - and it was ripped up because he didn't have a shirt on?! How ****ing dare. How ****ing dare you train killers and not allow them to pay respect to their dead loved ones. You are breeding hatred for the military within the military - something that has existed in silence for years but may not much longer. How dare any officer rip up any picture of a child's dead father? You heartless ****s can bet that recruitment will fall to nothing if you can't act like decent human beings to your fellow soldiers. This is the exact reason why you will never see my face next to your side in war.

I hope whoever did this feels like ****. You deserve it.

Reference This:
www.abovetopsecret.com...


- My Name

the women who tore up the picture should be fired! and sent to court for
distruction of private property.

I really don't understand these types of people. It is no different than being in jail. They take away you're freedom for a determined amount of time, give you direct orders of what is expected of you and control 100% of you're life while there.
They are basicly taking everything away, and its too much to let someone have a single picture without blowing it all out of porportions and acting like an ass.

..I really can't say what I really think about this but to OP, I'm sorry you're daughter had to go through this, as they don't tell you what your getting into before you sign away 2-4 years of your life.

Originally posted by crazyjames65
the women who tore up the picture should be fired! and sent to court for
distruction of private property.

Yeah that's what I was thinking.
It wasn't her property to take, or destroy.
If it broke the rules the person should be faced with the decision of either letting the picture stay in the safe until they leave, or they leave.
This person who did this needs to be investigated further.
Who knows what else they moron psycho is doing.

The DS was out of line, and will probably receive a letter of reprimand if you make a big enough funk out of it, effectively ending her career.

I just took the asvab pretest. Made a 97. They called me a Genius and tried there best to sign me up for Nuclear Propulsion. NO WAY!! I know better. Just wondering where I stood. This just reinforces the notion I had that the military is F'd and don't need to go that route.

Sorry for your troubles

B

Hate to be this way but the military IS NOT college. Your training is hard and diciplined for a reason. Now mind you it was MP basic which is not very difficult compared to some but still challenging and serves a purpose due to the MP role in todays military.

Basic/AIT are designed to SEPERATE you, TEST you, PUSH you, etc..on your physical limits but more importantly your emotional limits. When your sent to a combat zone where EVERYTHING your used to, or use for motivation or convienence can be taken from you, and you find yourself on your own...NO SUPPORT...NOTHING... is your mommy gonna save you, write a letter, etc...NOOO..YOU are going to save you, and the soldier next you you is going to save you...having mommy and daddy come to your rescue when something tramatic happens does nothing but prepare you for a bad ending and failure to adapt to situations.

Now I understand the meaning and value of that photo, and I feel bad that it was destoryed but your daughter went to basic and AIT and should of went understanding 2 things. 1. this is no joke, you don't join the MILITARY like you join a club or run off to college and think you can do things YOUR way...and 2. it is only 16 weeks long, then you can have ANY and ALL pics you want anywhere you want....so IMO no pics were needed...or should be needed for such a short term seperation....and if you can't handle that short of a term away from home ALONE/WITHOUT pictures and other reminders, then you should reevaluate your understanding of what the military is about.

We all experianced tough times and challenges in some shape or another...but sorry a MILITARY should not change its way or role just because people don't like the way things are done. Thats the reason why the military has become softer and much less effective over the years...we allowed mommys and daddys to complain rather then let the military harden their children...we worry more about a female crying because she got yelled at to much or was offended then her sucking it up and worrying more about being in combat when/if she graduates Basic/AIT!!!

The military isnt a 9-5 job, it isn't college, it isn't the boy scouts, it isn't some club or orginization...when you sign that line you NEED to know what it is your doing..and if you dont ASK!!! Don't cry about it after you join and don't like it...

Valhall
My daughter went into BCT

Valhall, shouldn't you be concerned about the fact that your daughter is going in to be trained by and become a member of the very institution that this woman who tore up the photo is in?

No apology was issued to my daughter.

Forgive me, but...why are you surprised by this? The military is in the business in invading foreign nations and killing people. That's what they do. You can make all the excuses you want that your daughter might not bepersonally pulling a trigger, but the fact remains that she is going in to become an accomplice to murder, death and destruction.

The military kills people.

That's what it's for.

How could you possibly expect them to care about a photograph?

rcwj75
Basic/AIT are designed to SEPERATE you, TEST you, PUSH you, etc..on your physical limits but more importantly your emotional limits.

Yes. And to emotionally desensitize you, so that you can kill people effectively and efficiently without letting emotion and sentimentality interfere. Ripping up a photograph that was important to someone no doubt would seem completely trivial in comparison.

And, having her photograph destroyed is probably simply the first step on her own path of desensitization.



[edit on 26-11-2008 by LordBucket]

reply to post by Valhall


Heartless. I too sent an email to the address you posted. She will never forget that act. What a bad way to start out in the military.

Originally posted by rcwj75
Hate to be this way

Other than being a way that you hate, did you have another point aside from proving the absolute sickness of this whole situation?

I'm thinking not.

[edit on 11-26-2008 by Valhall]

reply to post by Valhall


Wow. That is absolutely awful! Sounds to me like someone took it a bit too far there, and you were right in sending that letter to demand an apology. My suggestion would be to call the commanding officer and find out what, if anything, they are doing about the situation. If it were me I would continue calling on a daily basis, partly just to tick them off but mostly so that they would get the point that this woman's behavior is not acceptable. The woman at the very least needs to be reprimanded and owes your daughter an apology. I don't understand why she would rip it up instead of throwing it into the contraband safe... Had she done that, your daughter would have at least had a chance of getting it back.

I am truly sorry you and your daughter had to experience this.

Originally posted by LordBucket
The military is in the business in invading foreign nations and killing people. That's what they do. You can make all the excuses you want that your daughter might not bepersonally pulling a trigger, but the fact remains that she is going in to become an accomplice to murder, death and destruction.

So Valhall comes on here and starts a thread discussing the horrible actions of one soldier and your response is to say her daughter is now either a murderer or an accomplice to murder? Well aren't you a ray of sunshine.

The military kills people.

The military is not a singular entity. It is a group, a very large group actually, of people who include doctors, nurses, EMTs, lawyers, police, etc. Very few join the military just to go kill people. And honestly, I think that is a topic for a different thread. Not one in which the topic is the horrible experience Valhall's daughter had.

How could you possibly expect them to care about a photograph?

Perhaps because they are human? Perhaps because had it been anyone else in reception when her daughter arrived, the picture would have either been put in the contraband safe or she would have been told to mail it home. This particular soldier was apparently on a power trip and Valhall and her daughter have every right to expect the woman to be reprimanded.

Yes. And to emotionally desensitize you, so that you can kill people effectively and efficiently without letting emotion and sentimentality interfere. Ripping up a photograph that was important to someone no doubt would seem completely trivial in comparison.

Oh for heavens sake, take your killing talk elsewhere. Please. It is not the topic of this thread and I for one don't appreciate you implying that Valhall's daughter is now a killer and I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't.

reply to post by Valhall


The most obvious question is: if the picture is SO IMPORTANT, why did no one EVER think to make copies of it? I mean, you can use a scanner at your local library.

The military is not and never has been in the business of making exceptions, if it did it would never be run efficiently. Does that result in harsh things like this happening? Absolutely. Is it unreasonable to expect such if you are joining the military? Not at all.

Also, for the record, YOU writing a letter about it is only going to make things worse on your daughter. You will be seen as a hovering parent and it will be perceived that she can't handle the military. And also, finally - please do not throw around the phrase "unconstitutional" when it absolutely does not apply. There is nothing unconstitutional about the military following the guidelines your daughter agreed to sing up for. It may have been harsh, inconsiderate, and uncaring - but its the military, and it is not at all unconstitutional.

The military isn't for everyone. I would never take anything of personal value that could not be replaced on any trip, and certainly not to a military training camp. Life lessons are harsh. This is a good one to learn early on, especially if someone wants to make a career out of the military.

I know I'm going to be flamed for this by the way, the prevailing "the military is horrible and are evil murderers" theme is prevalent throughout ATS - so just as a forewarning I will ignore the flames, so don't bother.

[edit on 26-11-2008 by LowLevelMason]

Originally posted by Valhall

Other than being a way that you hate, did you have another point aside from proving the absolute sickness of this whole situation?

I'm thinking not.

[edit on 11-26-2008 by Valhall]

The point is you should know better then to drag a photo to basic COMBAT training of the US military...again its NOT college where you get to post up pictures and glitter for a touch of home...the picture should of never been taken....basic and ait are not that long...she could of done without the pic until after graduation...and then taken it with her wherever...and if leaving home is that hard then she should rethink the military. that was my point...you being pissed at the situation and writing letters for your daughter overshadowed seeing my point in my original post...

sorry but i think its sad when PARENTS write letters in responce to actions done to their ADULT child who joins the MILITARY...we coddle kids enough in this country...gotta let them grow up and experiance the REALITIES of the REAL WORLD at some point...

the only reason i feel bad for her and you is that she did lose her dad to cancer...and for that i am sorry but someone should of known better then to take that picture!

You seem to stand alone in your thinking.

UCMJ 909. Article 109

Any person subject to this chapter who willfully or recklessly wastes, spoils, or otherwise willfully and wrongfully destroys or damages any property other than military property of the United States shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.

So, you think that only people who have no problem leaving home on their own for the first time in life should join the military?

Just drop the silly argument. There were at least a couple of things that could have taken place at the point the evil cow destroyed the picture:

1. She could have taken custody of it and stored it. Just like they did my daughter's cell phone. The cell phone was taken and stored and then released later on for brief periods of time. The picture could have been stored in the same place.
2. She could have allowed her to return it home. At the same point that the picture was destroyed, they handed my daughter a form letter and told her to mail it home to let her family know she had arrived at Ft. Leonard Wood. The picture could have been mailed back with this letter.

There was no reason to destroy the picture. Period. It can't even be viewed as a punitive action. It was just a hateful callous action.

reply to post by Valhall


I Went through Basic. years ago when you were allowed to smoke, the drinking age on post was officialy 18yrs old (unofficially if you were military you could drink) and the DI.s were still allowed to "put hands on" you..let alone "speak harshly" to you..lol

However, as rough and tough as that experience was, I never saw or heard of any DI. destroying a recruits personal property.. they would remove it.

In my opinion the SGT. at the inprocessing/ reception area did overstep her authority. But I believe that your daughter, not you, should file a complaint.

There are several options and there are people in place in the military to
help her to do so..

On a more personal note, I would like to thank your daughter for her service, especially in this time of war, I hope that her future experiences in the military will be better.

Originally posted by Valhall
You seem to stand alone in your thinking.

I doubt that..I just happen to be the one to speak up how a valuable picture should not have been taken to basic training and how a mother should NOT be trying to demand anything for her ADULT daughter, who SHOULD be able to handle things herself....and if she can't then this is a great opportunity to learn how to

UCMJ 909. Article 109

Any person subject to this chapter who willfully or recklessly wastes, spoils, or otherwise willfully and wrongfully destroys or damages any property other than military property of the United States shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.

Understand the interpritation to this code and more importantly when/how the military will enforce it. I had a $50 cd player smashed the day I arrived in Ft. Benning. It stated that ANY/ALL electronics were contraband...and I still remember the DI's heel crushing it right infront of me. Did it suck, yes, but a lesson was learned...that lesson was you CAN go on and that things like this aren't the end of the world...trust me, losing my CD player was miniscule to losing my first friend in combat and having to go on. Is the comparison weak and hard to understand for most yes...but the concept is actually the same..and all the little stupid things DI's end up doing to you, or around you actually make sence when you find yourself in a bad way.

So, you think that only people who have no problem leaving home on their own for the first time in life should join the military?

No but people who join the military (knowing they are being taught to kill and in a time of WAR WILL end up overseas) should have a little more understanding that you don't go off to basic like you do other things. That your going to be treated much differently then your peers going to school or off to a job somewhere. It's sad when the military now has stress cards and has to allow phone calls home upon request...

Just drop the silly argument.

What silly argument...the one you decided to start by posting this thread and whining about how your going to defend and protect your daughter from the big bad military she joined as an ADULT...and then badmouth the ONLY orginization that has given you the chance and rights you have to do such things. The only thing silly here is a mom posting a thread about her daughters troubles and when somone doesn't cry in the same sorrow as you, you get pissed...yeah thats real good...atleast now I understand why you wrote the letter.

There were at least a couple of things that could have taken place at the point the evil cow destroyed the picture:

1. She could have taken custody of it and stored it. Just like they did my daughter's cell phone. The cell phone was taken and stored and then released later on for brief periods of time. The picture could have been stored in the same place.
2. She could have allowed her to return it home. At the same point that the picture was destroyed, they handed my daughter a form letter and told her to mail it home to let her family know she had arrived at Ft. Leonard Wood. The picture could have been mailed back with this letter.

There was no reason to destroy the picture. Period. It can't even be viewed as a punitive action. It was just a hateful callous action.

So shes a cow because she didn't do things the way you or your daughter wanted them done. Nice to see you resport to name calling for the ONLY people that obviously will teach your daughter anything about disipline and how to survive when she goes to Iraq.

You and your daughter as at fault here...that picture (which you say is ONE of a kind) should of never been taken to uncharted waters...it should of stayed in a SAFE place...or as another member said, a COPY should of been made and taken with...but just like anything else in this failing country its everyone elses fault that this happened...never yours.

Are you planning on writing letters to when your daughter calls you saying they made her sleep in the dirt? Made her drink her own urine? Called her a name she didn't like? As another member mentioned, we all thank her for her decision to join and serve her country (as we should anyone), but you both gotta wrap your heads around the idea and know that your emotions and feelings are NOT high on importance when the military is training thousands of people to fill roles..

[edit on 11/27/2008 by rcwj75]

Well my heart goes out to her.

But the military is not a democracy

I feel real bad that nobody informed her that she should have left anything she valued at home or in storage.