Some Experiences in My Consciouness

Thank you so much for sharing, i can relate to a lot of your experiences.
While reading i managed to unlock and remember more of my own childhood experiences. A few nights ago as i was falling asleep i remembered for the first time a certain experience i was very familiar with as a child but had never remembered. It was best described as a feeling of expanding from a single vertical line into everything.
Seems to me like a disconnect from the higher self thats divine into the expression of Ego mind.

Hi Citizenc

Please describe the teacher in all terms if you would. Many of us have met our teachers and we have described them. Some members would like to proclaim that all such detail is irrelevant, it is not. It shows the many forms the teachers take but all with the same teachings in different formats.

Be brave, stand up, and tell all, or it's for nothing.

Highest regards,

STM

Edit to remove some intense wording to push CC for more info.


[edit on 11/21/2008 by seentoomuch]

reply to post by citizenc
Bless you my brother or sister in presenting such a fabulous creature. When I was very young my Mom took me to the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago. I cried. She said why? I could not give her an answer then why I was so depressed. I know the answer now. Be you an animal or in prison, you deserve better...

Originally posted by arbiture
reply to post by citizenc

 

Bless you my brother or sister in presenting such a fabulous creature. When I was very young my Mom took me to the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago. I cried. She said why? I could not give her an answer then why I was so depressed. I know the answer now. Be you an animal or in prison, you deserve better...

I don't understand you. What why. What was the answer?

That was extremely well said Beamish... I resonate completely with what you said.

CitezenC

Though my experiences may have been clouded and no longer remain prestine, I can definitely appreciate learning from others who were fortunate enough to have held on to their own inner purpose. I hope you do not mind if I lurk a bit and learn from what you are demonstrating here.

reply to post by citizenc


Thank you for presenting your account so gracefully. Extremely thought-provoking for me. I have been so reluctant to jump in on these conversations, I have so much I want to share and so much I want to know, but I too have had many, um, experiences in my consciousness. I have actively sought...something...my entire life. I write really obscure "poetry" trying to describe this stuff, but it is so hard for me to discuss it honestly and straight-forwardly. I would like to say that this website has provided me with much food for thought, and I feel it has contributed, at least in a minor way, to some recent revelations, synchronicities, experiences...all very personal and internal for me, except with the recent addition of real physical pleasure, tingling and body awareness. I actually quit drinking alcohol. Amazing, if you knew my turbulent past...

Ahh, excuse this if it is awkward. I hope I am able to participate in your discussion.

cheers

Edit: You know, I'm just going to add this:

The most significant events as an adult, related to the topic, for me occurred in 2002, in 2004 and again in 2008. Without going into too much detail, I had prolonged periods of intense mental activity, initiated with, I'll just say it, a sense of "light" in the head. Like information pumped right in on a beam of energy. (So cheesy, I know.) I was in public in 2002 when it suddenly hit and cried in front of friends. Lasted for a month maybe, slowly wore off. I know the various accepted explanations, but these things now seem like much more than emotional fits.

[edit on 21-11-2008 by Nox Vulpes]

[edit on 21-11-2008 by Nox Vulpes]

reply to post by Beamish


As usual, my friend, I feel honoured and glad that you decide to share with us your thoughts with your usual poetry and eloquence.

Your Big and Little moved me... it made me flash back...

I am sincerely happy that you have given my experiences the benefit of your trust, and I assure you that it has been well placed...

You are also moving on the right path so, in my opinion, your appraisal on where you stand is far to harsh, for you are just a reticent pilgrim, but on the right direction and the right attitude.

Please stick around, and let's see how much else we can uncover...

Answer to Mckyle, Seagrass, sOndernet, arbiture, nox volpes, Elderscouncil, and all possible readers:

I thank you for your kind words and interest, and I have to admit that hearing others resonate with our childhood pristine visions of a new world, of new beginnings and open minds, has filled me with a sense of contentment I can hardly explain.

For this reason, I have decided to alter the order of my "sharing themes", and would recommend to those who feel like it to briefly touch on your own, as you have, and I will look a little more into mine and do the same.

I feel that maybe it is a good thing to examine with a little more care and even fondness, the roots we cherish and, at least I admit to do so, miss very much sometimes.

And, for Seentoomuch:

Ok. I was going to discuss a couple of experiences later in my "Teacher" experience "section", but I will touch more on my developing "acquaintance" with my teacher in my growing years.

Thanks!

It is late for me now, so I will continue after some rest. Good night everybody.

Wow, you have such a truthful and simply way with your words; and even though i've never heard of experiences like these i think it to be entirely plausible. The idea of an immortal self and different personalities, and the wonderful way you describe "god", was for some reason instantly appealing to me and just made sence. It sort of fits well in my own philosophy and understanding of universe so i guess i have a bias Anyways thank's for the profound and insightful post, i look forwards to seeing more hopefully

reply to post by citizenc


I fully understand the phenomenom you experienced ,when i was about 15 ,i had an experience where i became detached .I was looking down at my body for about 10 seconds,I was hovering ,then i experience exhiliration and anxiety at the same time,causing me to withdraw back into the physical body.It never happened since.

reply to post by citizenc


Thank you citizenc. I am reading with genuine interest.

Seems a shame adults don’t usually remember the very early stages of their life. To me there could be a great clue there. People who remember it well are fortunate. I also share a fondness for classical music. Though not all of it, and saddly I have little artistic talent.


[edit on 24-11-2008 by Cogito, Ergo Sum]

reply to post by Cogito, Ergo Sum


I can't edit my last post, I wish I could...embarrasses me. I mostly wanted to say that the original OP made me more aware of how "with it" we were as children. I grew up believing a story both of my parents truly believe: seeing a female enity interact with what was apparently my as an infant. My life has been an intellectual battle over this very thing I think sometimes...and now here I am

Edit, I've been mostly skeptical about this - for 30 years Perception changes, though.

[edit on 24-11-2008 by Nox Vulpes]

Now that you know what I do, you can understand why I had a busy weekend.
 
Thank you all who support with your kind words, and now we continue, hoping that it can be useful and help us all remember some important things in life.
 
My Inner Voice(s) Developed:
 
After my last experience with Dmod and what I saw, life went on as usual.
 
You have to remember that it all seemed very natural, like "the way things are supposed to be".
I did, as mentioned before, not only remember that moment constantly, but some of the feelings of having "been" my HS (HigherSelf) for a few seconds, remained.
 
As this went on, I started to notice that there was still that “Central” Knower, the one that I had called HS, only now it was not a “separate” position, like I experienced that time, but it acted kind of like an “Inner Voice” inside.

I share that, seen from a child's perspective, and even though the feelings of Unity and Certainty I sensed in my Dmod experience were very strong, I was hard to focus on them when presented with such a “different” reality as the one we see everyday. People walking, doing things. Places, many and varied. So many things going on. Although I could definitely see the harmony and ease with which the world's “machinery” worked, it all started to look so “fractionated”. So, in a way, I did not feel the expectation of being or feeling any different.

I slowly started to look at life and regular moments with sort of a variable perspective, where I would alter my sate of mind, depending on what I was dealing with.

For example, if I began to deal with books and information, some "memories" and more "mature" ways of handling information were activated.  In fact, once my father saw that I reacted extremely "well" in this sense, he would constantly buy books for me, that I would devour not only because I liked learning, but also because it felt like REMEMBERING places, peoples, and situations with which I could relate, in one way or another.

Images, sensations and even feelings would constantly start creeping into my everyday "travels" through lecture, to the point that I would continuously "compare notes" with the written stories that I read, getting to even being mad at authors that didn't really "know what they were talking about", in my childhood's honest opinion.
 
It was only that “Inner Voice” that gave unity and a sense of “Self” to all my inner works. I define it as a “Voice” because it COMMUNICATED, and I sensed this communication quite clearly and concretely, knowing full well that it did not originate in my child's mind (I was also VERY aware of being a child...).

I ALSO, however, retained very well that it was ALL “myself” so I went on like that quite merrily. I have to admit that I enjoyed the attention at being “smart”, although in a way I felt that I was “cheating”.

As I grew older and more accustomed to my “way” of being, I started to notice that my situation was probably unique, more times than not because other children did not show the capacity to “understand” things that I possessed, and because their “envious and self-centered” actions and behavior, as I put at the time, were almost shocking to me.

The more that I started to get to know people, the more that I convinced myself that there was “something wrong” for I could not believe that “their inner voice” would lead others astray as I noticed SOME people to be. I was extremely sensitive, to the point where I would be genuinely hurt and would cry if provoked by injustice and “unfair and not-nice” games and attitudes the other children (and adults) could sometimes display.

I had to deal with the world and my life in some way, so I decided to more and more to go with my inner CERTAINTIES. It mattered not that I had no outside “confirmations” of any kind, for I thought that, if the outside was to be what I perceived, then I had the better hand.

When I would “listen”, or go along with my Inner Voice's “suggestions”, I would land on the right side of things. I made no mistakes. If I would, however, stubbornly stick to “my” decisions, feeling that I had to do and say by “myself” sometimes too, I would generally be very sorry, just because my “creative rebelliousness” would have most times unexpected and sometimes not “positive” consequences.
(Remember that I felt I was “cheating”, and this meant that sometimes I felt uneasy at knowing myself to be different. Also notice that here, as it can invariably happen, the feelings of Separation begin to take some hold, ALTHOUGH I KNEW BETTER.)

These first years of “clashing” in a sense with my extended and exterior worlds, began to make me have to DEFINE my sensations in some way, so that I could accurately “READ” them. This was because I had noticed a very interesting thing: in a strange way, that scene that I had seen in my Dmod was still there. The feeling of Unity was more than just a feeling, it was THERE. And that “Unison” that my Teacher and my HS would do, was most times there too.

So then, I started to make it a point at “differentiating” between the two. And then, also between the “others”(!), because, since I was making it my “task” to listen more intently to my “inner works”, I also started noticing that those flashes, those feelings and sensations of “other”places and times, were NOT coming from either one of my Teacher or HS. Those were coming from what I SUPPOSED to be those other “parts” of me at the “Round Table”. There was not other explanation as far as I was concerned, for I would not even consider that these inner impressions and sensations could have any other way of expression.

I had not even heard of re-incarnation until I was 9 or so. All this was probably better, because my work on my impressions was almost exclusively private, and so “exterior” concepts and ideas did not make their way to possibly sway or alter them until an age when, by then, most of my ideas and sensations were already clearer for me.

The only REAL intellectual clash was the one with Religion, but that will remain a separate issue.

CONTINUES...

[edit on 24-11-2008 by citizenc]

CONTINUES...

Also, it is important to note that it was very hard to make those differentiations I am talking about, mainly because the Unity that I speak about is very concrete once seen and felt, and the “differences” between the different “parts” are ORGANIZATIONAL, in that it felt like all “parts” had a DEFINITE REASON FOR BEING, and that all separation was psychological; SO in a sense, just an explanation that we find to put things neatly into different categories.

This feeling of Organization and Purpose in everything made me appreciate even more the Perfection I sensed in my Dmod, the perfection on the ever-present Divine.

I know this Part of the Story is a little boring, but it contains important information that will be necessary later.

This period covers basically until I was 14. There were other things “happening”, but I want to treat them separately.

They have to do with the beginning of “the dreams”, and my developing communications with my Teacher and HS.

It seems that I am beginning to write the book I wanted to avoid...

I do often wonder why we would interfere directly in our lives here. I don't think we do so much as we ourselves tap into our true selves a little.

Don't forget the mind is a powerful thing, and to deal with any negative that may have existed early on, we can manifest things to help us along.

I'm just not completely sure about something teaching you, as more you are just remembering what you already knew.

There are no heroes. There is no evil, except that we create ourselves.

Originally posted by Nox Vulpes
reply to post by Cogito, Ergo Sum

 

I can't edit my last post, I wish I could...embarrasses me. I mostly wanted to say that the original OP made me more aware of how "with it" we were as children. I grew up believing a story both of my parents truly believe: seeing a female enity interact with what was apparently my as an infant. My life has been an intellectual battle over this very thing I think sometimes...and now here I am

Edit, I've been mostly skeptical about this - for 30 years

Perception changes, though.

[edit on 24-11-2008 by Nox Vulpes]

No need to be embarrassed about anything Nox Vulpes. Your points are as important as anyones.

Thank you so much for sharing. I will be following closely, as I feel I have 'things' to remember, but I don't know what just yet. My life has, for the most part, been guided by my 'feelings.' The same as you, if I were to go against the feeling, the outcome would be less than desirable. As a young girl I always felt things were not right. I couldn't understand why people ate animals, why kids teased and hurt each other, and why on earth would we have to go to that church? I dragged my heels when my ultra-catholic grandfather tried to take me to his Sunday 'scare fest' - that's exactly how I felt about his church. There have been many many times the feeling was so strong, it was almost like a stomach punch if I even thought about choosing another path. I have always felt close to nature, I have always prayed at the wave line, or in the forests. But I never knew what I was praying to. So, to end my babbling, I am here to find out what/who is here with me helping me make the choices that I do.
Your words are already rousing something for me- my childhood is running through my head right now, so I had better listen for awhile.

As to your narrative, and based on 'personal' projection, I'm going to guess that at 14 you 'found' your three-year old knowledge/self again... and then it all got more 'complicated' until you found your way back to a redefined understanding of what you knew when you were born.

But, like I said, that's just me projecting...


edit: for typo due to poor typing skills

[edit on 24-11-2008 by TheWayISeeIt]

citizenc,

I just want to say that on Friday night I came home and began to think about how I can tap into my other "selve's" and I kid you not - I saw your post a few hours later.

There's another thread forum titled "Something has changed, timeline?". We've been discussing certain people's reality shifting such as famous people that are alive that they know were once dead. What we think is happening is that they are switching or connected to other realities, other universes like our own but slightly different.

In another thread a mentor was teaching a student about the universe. She was sitting on the peak of a mountain. With hills in front over her that represented the future and hills behind her that represented the past. As well replicas of these hills to her left and right repeating forever.

I do believe in this. Its the only scientific explanation for the 2% of the stories we hear that are real yet defy belief.

With your post I've come to the conclusion that in this universe there are also two of "me".

1) The physical body that has needs, desires, instincts
2) The supernal me that is a piece of the greater me, on a journey experiencing all this universe has to offer (and trying to enjoy it)

Please continue posting, I'd love to learn more.

Obsidience

reply to post by TheWayISeeIt

Originally posted by TheWayISeeIt
As to your narrative, and based on 'personal' projection, I'm going to guess that at 14 you 'found' your three-year old knowledge/self again... and then it all got more 'complicated' until you found your way back to a redefined understanding of what you knew when you were born.

But, like I said, that's just me projecting...


edit: for typo due to poor typing skills

[edit on 24-11-2008 by TheWayISeeIt]

Thank you for your veiled compliment at my narrative skills...

And no, it does not go that way... but of course you COULD maybe know that if you had read the other thread as well, and seen where some of these things are coming from...

In fact, how it goes does not really matter, for this is not what the thread is about, really.

My initial idea, which sprung from the requests of a few respected others, was to share SOME of my experiences, hopefully explicative of how some of the knowledge and character that manifests through my posts has been acquired.

I cannot but understand some reticence, but it is also a good idea to inform oneself before making some comments.

I expanded on some of the "childhood" info because it seemed it had touched a nerve on some people, and since it is my usual bug to be USEFUL rather than just rambling about things, I felt I could change things a bit.

I have to say, however, that I am really surprised at the lack of strictly "negative" comments, even for the little attention this thread has attracted.

In any case, I decided while doing some work yesterday, that I will continue posting on this thread some of my experiences, hoping as always that this info can be of use to someone.

I hope it is clear by now that I will not be cashing in on my ATS points any time soon, so just the casual acknowledgment by some people will justify the time and energy I put on this.