Court says police illegally taped nursing home sex

Originally posted by butters30
Speaking as a married man of 12 plus years. I can honestly say maybe this guy didnt know that his wife was in a coma. If anyone here has been married for any length of time I am sure you will agree it's hard to tell sometimes if your wife is comatose. About a year ago I installed mirrors in my bedroom not for the kink factor but to make sure she was breathing!

ROFL.

Good one.

reply to post by logician magician


Star for you.

And here's another hypothetical. What if this had been the other way around, and the man was in a coma? Say the woman got pregnant. I'd put money on it that the courts would rule that the poor guy still had to pay child-support. Either from his "estate" if he never woke up, or if he were to wake up and go back to work.

what makes me sad is that we have SIX PAGES of posts talking about this guys private life!
i'm sure his wife would be more disturbed about the thousands upon thousands of people that have found out about it, than the actual act itself...

it is not exactly a nice thing to have plastered all over the net, and at the end of the day, i think this is a continual argument of "hey they broke his privacy" and "hey he raped her"...

aslong as that keeps up this could go on for PAGES...
do we really want to embarass the guy (or his wife) more than has happened already...
it's just common decency at the end of the day...

(there is a hadeeth which states: do not concern yourself with that which does not concern you...)
something to think about, insha'Allaah

reply to post by eyescryforALLAAH07


I agree that the public display of these details is probably the worst part of this whole thing. But now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, it's obviously going to be talked about. Now we should look at why all of this has been made public, and it is shameful that it was. It really is none of our business, and that has been my point all along. The police and the courts have decided to make it their business, and therefore ours as well. Shameful.

nvm

[edit on 14-9-2008 by ghaleon12]

Originally posted by logician magician

HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm disgusted by the women's lib garbage being displayed in this thread.

Questions like, "So your wife would be fine with you having sex with her while she's sleeping or in a coma?"

I can't speak for anyone else here, but my wife wouldn't care less - and I have no problem waking up with her on top of me going at it.

So if your wife had a stroke and ended up with so much brain damage she ended up in a coma you'd still force yourself inside her and she'd be fine with that? yeah right. What if she woke up and had amnesia and didn't know who he was? What if she woke up with a severe mental retardation and the mind of a child.. would you still say it's harmless?

Seriously, how much of a prude do you have to be to get wound up over this issue?

I did not realise being against rape made me a prude.. I think people should be able to choose if they have sex or not. The guy had sex with an unconscious woman. She did not even have the abilty to move let alone consent so it is rape.

How many guys here would be grossed out if they woke up from a 2 year coma with their wife (everlasting love of life, etc...) on top of them?

How many women?

If it was a women doing that to her husband, we'd hear comments like "Wow, awesome wife," "What a dedicated woman!" etc... but when it's the man, it's automatically rape.

Utter nonsense. If it were a woman doing it to a man I would be just as disgusted. Your presumptions on how society would react are obviously seeded in misogyny.

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

reply to post by riley


Would you rather give up your fourth amendment rights to the courts or have them up held. This man's sister even approved of what he was doing and yes his rights were violated by the police officers. I don't exactly approve of what he did, but I'm not him or his wife. And to say he was wrong and calling it rape is ignorant. The man loves his wife and will try anything " anything" to bring her back. I'm glad the courts threw the tape out and upheld his rights.

Originally posted by Solarskye
reply to post by riley

 

Would you rather give up your fourth amendment rights to the courts or have them up held.

N.A. Believe it or not not all countries follow the american consitution.

This man's sister even approved of what he was doing and yes his rights were violated by the police officers.

The man's sister? No.. it was HER sister said she apparently said he was just "expressing his love". Regardless her sisters opinions do not equal consent or make it more "moral".. just because someone is related does not mean they have their best interests at heart.. and if the sister knew about it and did nothing it she would also be a criminal.

I don't exactly approve of what he did, but I'm not him or his wife.

The husband does not have ownership over her body just because they're married. It is not his to use as an object.. marriage is a partnership not slavery.

And to say he was wrong and calling it rape is ignorant.

Ignorant is it? Obviously you do not even know what rape is. Let me educate you:

dictionary.reference.com...
rap·ing.
–noun
1. the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3. statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object)
6. to force to have sexual intercourse.
7. to plunder (a place); despoil.
8. to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9. to commit rape.

The man loves his wife and will try anything " anything" to bring her back.

The first two times didn't work so more likely he was just doing anything to reach sexual climax inside an unconscious, probably brain damaged woman.

I'm glad the courts threw the tape out and upheld his rights.

What about her rights? If thats what the courts decided.. sexually abusive carers everywhere will no doubt be rejoicing.

fixed spelling.

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

Originally posted by riley

So if your wife had a stroke and ended up with so much brain damage she ended up in a coma you'd still force yourself inside her and she'd be fine with that? yeah right. What if she woke up and had amnesia and didn't know who he was? What if she woke up with a severe mental retardation and the mind of a child.. would you still say it's harmless?

What if my wife woke up transformed into an ALIEN or a MAGICAL FAIRY? Stick to the point because you're venturing off into la-la land.

I did not realise being against rape made me a prude.. I think people should be able to choose if they have sex or not. The guy had sex with an unconcious woman. She did not even have the abilty to move let alone consent so it is rape.

No, The guy had sex with his WIFE, SOUL MATE, EVERLASTING LOVE. To have and to hold, From this day forward, For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, 'Till death do us part.

So you think my wife rapes me when I'm asleep, eh? GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS, THANKS FOR TELLING ME, I'M OFF TO PHONE THE LAW!

Utter nonsense. If it were a woman doing it to a man I would be just as disgusted. Your presumptions on how society would react are obviously seeded in misogyny.
[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

Let's not make it all about YOU. You're presumptions on how society would react are obviously seeded in self-loathing and fantasy.

[edit on 15-9-2008 by alien]

Originally posted by logician magician
What if my wife woke up transformed into an ALIEN or a MAGICAL FAIRY? Stick to the point because you're venturing off into la-la land.

The woman had a stroke and sustained brain injury. That is WHY she is in the coma in the first place.

No, The guy had sex with his WIFE, SOUL MATE, EVERLASTING LOVE. To have and to hold, From this day forward, For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, 'Till death do us part.

So you think my wife rapes me when I'm asleep, eh?

Being asleep is a bit different than being in a stroke induced coma.. and there is "to love and honour". Having sex with an unconscious person is not honouring them.. it is ABUSING them.

GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS, THANKS FOR TELLING ME, I'M OFF TO PHONE THE LAW!

Being someone's husband does NOT give you the right to have sex with them WITHOUT their consent or knowledge.

Let's not make it all about YOU, you egomaniac. You're presumptions on how society would react are obviously seeded in self-loathing and fantasy.

It saddens me that so many people on ATS are all for having sex with coma patients. I guess blowup dolls aren't as great as they're cracked up to be eh?

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

reply to post by riley

Believe it or not not all countries follow the american consitution.

Not even America anymore aparrently.

As to the rest of your post, I don't see how this woman was violently forced to do anything. Perhaps we should charge this man with assault for simply touching her, or massaging her?

And what about her rights? Her rights to privacy were also trampled by the actions of the police. Just because she is un-councious gives them the right to look on her having sex with her husband?

reply to post by riley

Being asleep is a bit different than being in a stroke induced coma..

Not when the issue is consent. Consent is consent, regardless of the conditions. Either you get a permission slip from your mate each time, or there is "open-ended" consent. Barring of course, those times when there is a clear "no" put on the table. But even then, there are times when I give in to her needs and lay there like a stroke patient, and visa-versa.

I guess blowup dolls aren't as great as they're cracked up to be eh?

So you're saying that sex with a blowup doll has the same meaning and pleasure as sex with your wife?

Originally posted by jackinthebox
reply to post by riley

 

Believe it or not not all countries follow the american consitution.

Not even America anymore aparrently.

Fair point.

As to the rest of your post, I don't see how this woman was violently forced to do anything.

Penetrating a coma patient is rape..and I have no idea if she sustained any bruises or if it was "violent".. besides which the violation is an act of violence in itself (it is where the word comes from). Please re-read the definition of rape.

Perhaps we should charge this man with assault for simply touching her, or massaging her?

Please. Theraputic message like rubbing her feet is a bit different than using her as a sex toy.

And what about her rights? Her rights to privacy were also trampled by the actions of the police.

The police were protecting her rights not to get raped.

Just because she is un-councious gives them the right to look on her having sex with her husband?

She was not "having sex" with her husband. Her husband was having sex with her.. it was not a mutual action.

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

Originally posted by jackinthebox
Not when the issue is consent. Consent is consent, regardless of the conditions. Either you get a permission slip from your mate each time, or there is "open-ended" consent. Barring of course, those times when there is a clear "no" put on the table. But even then, there are times when I give in to her needs and lay there like a stroke patient, and visa-versa.

Are you trying to say marriage is a permission slip for rape?

I guess blowup dolls aren't as great as they're cracked up to be eh?

So you're saying that sex with a blowup doll has the same meaning and pleasure as sex with your wife?

My point was he was using her limp body for HIS sexual pleasure.. yet you agree..

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

Ok, this is a topic that can lead to heated indeed uncalled for comments. Please stop insulting others and remain on topic. Any further off-topic or insulting comments will lead to action.

Thank you
gallopinghordes
forum mod

Originally posted by riley
The woman had a stroke and sustained brain injury. That is WHY she is in the coma in the first place.

What does that have to do with the price of tea in china?

Being asleep is a bit different than being in a stroke induced coma.. and there is "to love and honour". Having sex with an unconscious person is not honouring them.. it is ABUSING them.

Actually, Coma comes from a Greek word Koma which means "Deep Sleep." Like I said, I'm off to phone the law because my wife rapes me and therefore abuses me when I'm asleep. She needs to go to jail for the crimes she has committed! I will not be married to a common sexual deviant! I will hire you as my attorney because you are such a shark. We'll show her who's boss and put her behind bars where she belongs!

Being someone's husband does NOT give you the right to have sex with them WITHOUT their consent or knowledge.

You must know the couple and are aware that they do not have an agreement where they can both have sex with one another anytime either one wants to, right? You must know this about them, or you are an internet psychic. In other words:

"You all up in they kool-aid and you don't even know the flava."

It saddens me that so many people on ATS are all for having sex with coma patients. I guess blowup dolls aren't as great as they're cracked up to be eh?

It saddens me that you think this man raped his wife. Further, it saddens me that you would expect a woman who had been in a coma to cry rape after she was woken from said coma due to her husband inserting his erect penis into her vagina and sexually stimulating nerve endings over and over again, for at least an hour, for the purposes of possibly ending the coma through said stimulations.

What you can't see is that the man loves his wife so much that he had sex with her while she is in a coma in order to bring her back to consciousness.

Let's hope that your wife/husband never gets in a coma where the ONLY way to revive them is sexual stimulation.

You obviously don't have the love required to "rape" them.

Originally posted by riley

Are you trying to say marriage is a permission slip for rape?

[edit on 15-9-2008 by riley]

No it is a permission slip for sex. When getting married, both parties agreed to allow the other to have sex with them. No it is not rape.

There is only one point that was never mentioned through all of this. How forceful was he with her? There is forceful and non-forceful. After knowing he went in, helped her so she didn't form blood clots, and read the Bible to her, then I am assuming it was non-forceful.

He would already know after that many years of marriage how to be gentle with her. I hope he also had a large bottle of KY jelly, which would prevent any tears to her.

Since he read the Bible, then he has the definition of marriage as the husband owing the wife's body, and the wife owning the husband's body. It does specifically state not to deprive each other, unless both parties agree for a specific period of time.

No it does not give him or any other husband the go ahead to harm the wife through sex. It is a permission slip to have sex. It is not rape. It was not forced on her. She gave consent when she married him.

I also have to agree that the wife's right to privacy was violated. If I woke up and heard about all this happening, the first thing I would do would be hire a lawyer to sue any one and every one involved with the taping and sending my husband to court over this, which would include the nursing home and police department.

Originally posted by Badge01
In this case he put their client at risk for injury, infection and STD risk. They had to act.

Risk of injury and infection??? What do you think this guy is going to do to her? I don't really believe what you are suggesting.

He has already had her how many times before??? Besides which it sounds like they may have been old enough to already have started using KY Jelly regularly.

STD's? You are really reaching. There is no way she is going to be in danger of an STD he picked up from someone else. Do you honestly think a man who loves his wife that much is going to even glance at another woman? No way.

If she dies, I honestly think he will be right behind her very soon. I have seen it happen too many times. Not suicide, but they just don't have the will to live any more after they lost their mate. If he doesn't, I'll guarantee he will feel like his life will not be worth living any more without her.