Is pedophilia a sexuality?

Is pedophilia a sexuality?

Thats like saying suicide was a change in life style .

Originally posted by carslake
Is pedophilia a sexuality?

Thats like saying suicide was a change in life style .

HA! LMAO

great discussion! After a few of my recent topics, this one seems to fit right in with them.

Personally (and ill look for back up information for this), i believe that it would have something to do with the hormones of the person.

Everyone seems to be generalizing this too much. Alot of people in this thread aren't considering other possibilities simply because they view the act as wrong. so, i ask that you clear your mind of any biased thoughts, and then answer these questions.

For example; Alot of people in this thread have stated, or agreed to the point that "Men are atracted to Women, and can also be attracted to men, and women are atracted to men, and also to other women" which is personally reasonable and logical, except this statement doesn't go much deeper than that.

Personally i find less African women attractive. Not because I'm racist (because I'm not), not because i have religious beliefs or because i egotistically say that my race is superior (because i don't), i simply do not most African women that attractive. Which leads me back to my theory of hormones.

So, biologically, these people who commit, or enjoy the thought of pedophilia may simply have altered hormones. or, they simply haven't matured in a sense.

Another example. When you are 14 years of age, most people would also be attracted to the people of the same age. so, why is it so unbelievable that a person who is 30 or so, simply hasn't had a few bits of their mind mature enough to be attracted to others that are of roughly the same age?

[edit on 7/10/08 by Ghost147]

History shows that different civilizations and cultures have had varying degrees of acceptance or rejection of basic impulses. Greek, for example, was entirely accepting of things like homosexuality and pedophilia. No children in that time were reported to be traumatized, and indeed many generations grew up just fine. Yet modern society views pedophilia as extremely traumatizing rape. The difference is in one culture you were born into it, and in another you are not.

So, no, pedophilia is not wrong. The act of pedophilia may make you cringe, but let's face the fact that not only did most ancient cultures go 100% for pedophilia and incest, they thought it was normal and so did the children. Just like ancient armies were expected to be bisexual or homosexual with the idea that a man will fight harder in combat if he's fighting beside his lover.

Also look in the Bible. When God helped the Israelites take down many nations, he gave them the command to kill all the men and women and take the young virgins for slaves. Now what do you really think a group of men wanted with young virgins? Be honest with yourself.

I'm not a pedophile and have never had thoughts of it simply because I tend to like thicker women and men and children just don't fit the bill.

reply to post by Thewayshemoves


You condone it, your a pedophile!

I think the majority of the replies in this thread really demonstrate how many people do not understand the differences between identity, sexuality, consent, disorders, and a whole host of other concepts. So, I'll offer my $0.02.

First, there is a difference between being a pedophile and being a pedophile who rapes children. Pedophilia, in terms of being attracted to children, is not illegal, nor is it "wrong". The problem is that some pedophiles will act on their attractions and desires. In doing this, they violate the law. Whether the child was willing or forced, it doesn't matter, since the law says that a minor cannot consent to sex. But simply BEING a pedophile is not a crime.

So, one that's been established, you have to look at sexuality. Most people look at this from the privileged viewpoint of heterosexuals, assuming that since heterosexual intercourse often leads to procreation, and procreation is required for the survival of a species, that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation that is "normal" or "natural". However, this completely ignores any possibility whatsoever that homosexuality serves other functions in nature which are equally as important as reproduction, if not aiding in reproduction through various means. The list of possibilities is essentially endless, so you can use your imagination for ways that homosexual relationships can strengthen society as a whole.

Is pedophilia a sexual orientation? Perhaps. It's distinct enough to be descriptive of an entire group of people, though it's also possible to be a heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual pedophile. Some pedophiles have relationships with both adults and children. Some have relationships only with adults, but find children and youthfulness attractive qualities. I mean, really, what is sexuality? I find that it's fairly fluid in most people, and encompasses a vast array of likes and dislikes.

Anyway. Is pedophilia a mental disorder? Perhaps. But disorders aren't normally termed to be things that are "disordered" in your brain, but rather cause "disorder" to your life. Whether or not they're caused by a structural abnormality in the brain, hormones, pre-natal development, drug usage, religion, whatever.., they aren't disorders until they're affecting your ability to live your life. So, as I see it, pedophilia isn't a disorder, but merely another aspect of human sexuality. If that aspect of your sexuality is taking control of your life and causing you to take risks, hurt people, etc., then it may very likely be a disorder for you.

So, I think I pretty much agree with the OP. This insane, blind hatred of pedophiles is stupid and not productive. It's like hating all people who practice religion because their beliefs look pretty delusional at times. But at the same time, I don't think pedophiles should be "treated" against their will, or that their existence is a mistake. They are what they are, they are who they are. The question is whether or not they do things to hurt others. Not all of them do, or would. Some do, just like there are homosexuals who rape people of the same sex. Their crime isn't being homosexual, it's raping another human being, regardless of that person's sex.

Anyway. I hope you can see the difference, and realize while proclaiming hatred as justified and saying "think of the children!" might give you warm fuzzies, it's not productive. It doesn't address the problem, it merely hides it.

I'm not a pedophile, but I definitely have non-traditional sexuality, so my view comes from someone who ISN'T in the privileged, heterosexual majority.

I have to admit to being unwilling to think outside the box on this one.

Yes, pedophelia is a sexuality..... in the same way that serial killing is a hobby.


Erase.

reply to post by Anonymous ATS


Well a friend of mine said living near a pedophile is like living next to a bomb that you don't know when it's going to go off. If you live with this situation eventually someones lives are probably going to be wrecked.

I know this, I've seen it growing up, predatory pedophile makes a home in a community befriends, charms the parents comes across as totally benign and then proceeds in an attempt to molest as many children as possible before he's caught.

I have in someway survivor guilt, because myself and my siblings were one of the few families who's children weren't molested in the street I lived on. The families who were victims resented my family, we had to move because my parents couldn't cope with the 'why us and not you'. I remember the Saturday morning when my father rushed out of the house to pin down one of the victims fathers who was trying to break into the 'animals' house so he could murder him.

You sound like you've studied the subject in some depth and so with high brow reasoning taken from a book you forget the reality of the situation. We don't want to deal with it, it's a mental illness it's not normal we have enough to deal with without being all understanding about someone who has an impulse to molest a child. And I'm tired of 'professionals' building a dispassionate career around supporting and integrating these 'people' back into their hunting ground. 'Hey lets put the freak next to a school so he can confront his urges and learn to deal with them'.







[edit on 16/10/08 by carslake]

Putting your head in the sand and making blanket statements about people does not solve problems.

By your own logic, being sexually attracted to a person makes you a potential rapist. If you're attracted to women, you might rape them. If you're attracted to men, you might rape them. Is this what you truly believe, that we're all rapists? Or do you simply feel that because somebody has an attraction that differs from yours, that makes them bad, regardless of whether or not they act on it?

Ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., are not illegal. Some actions based on those concepts ARE illegal, and in the case of sexual contact with a child (forced or otherwise), all activities are illegal until they're at or above the age of consent.

So, you're combining two issues (rape and attraction to children) that are not always present, and each of these can occur without the other.

As far as whether or not it's a mental illness, who determines that? Would being unable to cope with difficult situations, so that you make ignorant assertions about people involved, be considered a mental illness too, since it affects your ability to exist in a diverse society? Possibly.

Instead of demonizing people because of their feelings, rather than their actions, why don't you open your mind to understanding their plight, and working to create an environment that is safe and acceptable for all involved.

reply to post by Anonymous ATS


I think you care too much I'm surprised you find the time.

Are you trying to justify something, I've got more important things to worry about so please don't waste your time on me. If theres one thing that pisses me off it's deviants preying on the weak when there beyond our protection. Making out pedophiles are victims, get an understanding of whats important and care about something else.

If I stick my head in the sand does that mean I'm allowed to pull it out to shoot pedophiles, facists, violent criminals... and anyone else who has the urge to hurt people because I've witnessed enough misery for a lifetime and it's only bleeding hearts like you who seem to give a crap.

You win the argument I concede.

I would consider it a sexuality.
In some countries homosexuality is considered inhumane and a disease, and in others it is considered acceptable.
You can look at pedophilia the same way. Why would it be like being a serial killer for a hobby?
You're not a pedophile so you don't know how they think.

But then again, they are by law not allowed to have sex with minors so they probably have a lot of frustration pent up inside themselves.

If pedophiles are so ''sick'' and vile and need to die.

What about those that are attracted to older people?

Of course people don't consider that sick because those people are considered to be past adulthood already.

And I am willing to bet that there are enough pedophiles out there that do not act out on their desires.

[edit on 16/10/08 by -0mega-]

Gosh, this is such an icky subject but I suppose it should be discussed. Now I prefer brunettes (of legal age, of course) and I tend to prefer shapely women (skinny girls turn me off, no offense or anything, just not my cup of tea.) I'm an ordinary guy and I can't have any woman I want (oh, in a perfect world, lol) but I do have options available to me. I'd still like to think that if it was suddenly illegal to have sex with cute soft brunettes, I could restrain myself from deviously plotting to trap them in my basement. I mean, molesting children is rape, period. They are not of sound mind to consent to sexual activity or participate in adult-like relationships. Certain things should not be tolerated by society. Are they mentally ill? No doubt about it. I suppose if we knew more about why people become this way, perhaps we could deter it and they could all live happily ever after. In the mean time, cut off their nads and lock 'em up for life. (Wow, I'm usually a liberal leaning type of guy...but this subject brings out the "angry mob with torches and pitchforks" in me.) I guess I only have compassion for the victims in these cases. It's difficult to sympathize with a child molester. That kind of stink just don't come off but I do kind of agree that there is plenty still to learn about here.

reply to post by Def Youth




You just about touched on something i was going to say on reading the thread i find not

one mention of MORALITY or SELF CONTROL. Urges were mentioned, we all have them

Murderous urges

Theft urges

Brutal and Violent urges

Rape urges and many others i dare say However most of us have a moral compas and exercise

a degree of self control, and dont act out urges that are anti-social I think over the last couple

of decades ' NO' is a word that is rarely used its "I want it" I want it NOW" It's my right, I'm

entitled seems to be the order of today.

This may seem a bit off topic but this is the same sort of attitude. It is as much a power trip To

do something without the consent of the 'victim' ( underage children can neither consent to, or,

have the ability or knowhow to defray an assault on themselves) The perpetrator KNOWS it is

NOT right or they wouldn't be secretive about their actions.

We all have urges but mostly exercise SELF CONTROL we are not ENTITLED to have our own

way at the expense or distress of others Imposing one's will on another is a power trip.

reply to post by SantaClaus


I understand your point OP. Of course morally I am disgusted that people would/could do such a thing. However I think you have to seperate out the morality from situations like this, because it only blocks constructive solutions.

The biggest point IMO is that the majority of sex offenders have been victims themselves, or at the very least experienced trauma in their lives. That has left them wounded. If left to fester, then that wound only grows. The ultimate way for a person who has been abused in any way to cope with that is to become the abuser. It lets them experience the other side of the equation - the one with the power. So it goes full circle.

You have to break that circle by focussing on people right after it happened and making sure they can get back to a normal life and have constant follow up to deal with any lingering pain and thoughts. That way they won't grow up to become abusers themselves (ideally).

As for what you do with people who still commit the crime, that's a moral question with only one answer really.