My son is doing something weird.

Oh, Dear God!

Kids do weird things all the time. They're kids, they don't think like adults. All this talk of "take your child to a professional" is b.s. When my son was in kindergarten, I was asked to attend a meeting to discuss his "development" and "speech problems" at the request of some "Piled Higher and Deeper". (His kindergarten teacher was my kindergarten teacher, by the way. )

They wanted to send him to a special school because he couldn't pronounce his "R"s, and he talked a lot and wouldn't sit still. (No! A young boy with tons of energy that has a hard time sitting still in class? When did THIS start happening?) During this meeting, the school librarian happened to walk past. She was my first grade teacher. She looked right at this person and said "There is nothing wrong with that child. He's just like his father was at that age!"

You want to find a real "expert"? Find some 60 or 70 year old lady that's had a ton of kids, and let her check out your son. It's more likely that your son knows how to talk, he just chooses not to. He'll talk when he's ready to talk.

Everyone's likes and dislikes are different. You ever stop to think that he LIKES the silence, and the dark? As someone pointed out, maybe it's his way of unwinding and relaxing. Me, I prefer a decent beer, but hey, to each his own.

I had a niece who's baby was allergic to cow's milk. Every time she was fed cow's milk, she would vomit. So, my sister-in-law went and bought goat's milk. The baby did just fine on that. When my niece told her pediatrician this, the pediatrician said to switch the child back to cow's milk, or she could find herself a new pediatrician! So much for the "experts".

As I said, if you want to REALLY find out if he is ok, find some old lady that you trust that had a bunch of kids, and ask her to check out the kid. She'll be able to tell you if the kid is behaving in the "normal" range. And she'll be more right than some pointy-haired "doctor".

My parents were worried about me at that age too, because I wouldn't talk and would sit still for a while. I guess they thought I was deaf or something.

So they took me to a doctor. I actually remember that doctor trip. They had me do old style wooden puzzles while they observed me.

My parents said the doctor told them nothing was wrong with me, and perhaps I had nothing to say, and so I didn't.

Although I type a lot on forums today, I still don't talk much, unless I have something worthwhile or important to say.

Perhaps he's just thinking a lot and pondering what it means to be a human. I wouldn't worry unless he starts banging his head on the wall or something.

Hmmm, cannot really help you much to be honest as i don't have any kids and have never really experience anything like this. Someone did mention kids being very 'pure' at a young age and can see things the rest of us cannot. I'm 19 now and my mother tells me when i was a toddler about the age of your son i used to look past her or my dad and smile at nothing, almost like there was something there that my family couldn't see but i could.

What does your son do when he goes into the closet, does he play in there in the dark, or just stand there on his own?

It sounds like you're a new parent. Small children at this age can easily become overstimulated, and will find ways to give their minds a break. My son is 2-1/2, and will find a quiet corner to sit in every once in a while. It's his way of kicking back and relaxing.

If you are still concerned, set an appointment with you child's peditrician to discuss his overall development. If anything it will put your mind at ease.

Originally posted by sir_chancealot
Oh, Dear God!

Kids do weird things all the time. They're kids, they don't think like adults. All this talk of "take your child to a professional" is b.s.

You may be right SC, but as a parent, I'd rather be safe than sorry. I have medical training, but when one of my children get hurt, I still take them to a doctor just to confirm my own diagnosis. I prefer the extra expense simply because of the peace of mind it affords me.

With childhood immunizations like MMR and Thimerosal being linked to autism in children under three, it only seems logical to rule it out while it may still be treatable.

I'm not trying to cast dispersions on the value of good ole commonsense SC, but the well-being of the child should be the paramount consideration here.

reply to post by hawaiigurl


Having only read the OP, my feeling is that your son is perfectly normal. He is most likely a natural born meditator.

When we are born our eyes open to world around us and we begin to see from the perspective of our surroundings rather than from the center of our being out.

In meditation there is a reason for keeping your eyes closed, it is because in those moments, you are for a moment closing out the input, the outside influence. You close your eyes to remain in your own energy.

In the still of the darkness the same effect takes you to the place inside which is the only place of real truth.

Man has lost the capacity to meditate, from the moment of birth he is placed in a world which does all it can to lead him from his center from his uniqueness. It leads him instead into the world of personality.

The first thing in life should be to learn who you are, where you are. Then everything in your life can begin to move in the right direction.

Perhaps he is seeking freedom in all dimensions, everyone should be allowed to be himself, unique, an individual.

The moment he becomes a personality, equal, the same as other children, he has become a crowd, his individuality will be stripped. He will be just another cog in the machine.

In thousands of years not another Jesus, Buddha, everyman is inherently unique from birth, a universe to himself.

Your son is not afraid, and this is a good sign, because one of the roles of the society is to create fear and separatism, to create divisions, to keep the crowd in control.

Help create an atmosphere for meditation, this way you will ensure that your son is not creating his life and its foundation upon castles in the sand.
Instead he will be creating something new to bring to the world, an individual, a unique being without fear, without control and that is the only possibility for a new man a new world, a utopia on earth.

I am a mother to a 4 yr old, and I find nothing weird in your son's behavior.

My daughter is not afraid of the dark either. But she isnt afraid of much. We have worked to ensure that darkness and other things are not things to fear. She will often go into her dark room and just lay down on the bed or just sit there. I believe they (kids) seek solitude after being full of energy, just like adults do.

If you are still worried, I would take him to your peditirician and see what he has to say.

Oh and as far as talking. All children begin these stages at different times. So dont worry about him!!! But, continue to read, read read and get flashcards!

Best of luck!

[edit on 7/29/2008 by greeneyedleo]

Originally posted by LLoyd45

Originally posted by sir_chancealot
Oh, Dear God!

Kids do weird things all the time. They're kids, they don't think like adults. All this talk of "take your child to a professional" is b.s.

You may be right SC, but as a parent, I'd rather be safe than sorry. I have medical training, but when one of my children get hurt, I still take them to a doctor just to confirm my own diagnosis.

And where did the OP say that the child has physically hurt himself?

I prefer the extra expense simply because of the peace of mind it affords me.

With childhood immunizations like MMR and Thimerosal being linked to autism in children under three, it only seems logical to rule it out while it may still be treatable.

I'm not trying to cast dispersions on the value of good ole commonsense SC, but the well-being of the child should be the paramount consideration here.

Using the above quote, can anyone else see why I don't trust doctors and "medical professionals"? Let's see, was it average people who gave the MMR and Thimerosal-laced immunizations (which, btw, were only done to SAVE MONEY) or was it "medical professionals". And autism isn't "treatable" as the average person would define it. Are you using a different definition?

Considering the "medical professionals" are trying to dope up little boys for, GASP!, acting like little boys; and trying to give "cholesterol reducing drugs" to children (all the while ignoring high fructose corn syrup, which is a CHEMICAL, not "corn syrup" in any stretch of the imagination), I'd say the medical profession is a little suspect.

They are good for patching you up when you have a bacterial/viral disease, broken bones, ruptured veins and arteries, or injured organs, but not much good for the prevention of disease, nor for a diagnosis of "normal".

Here's the thing. From everything we can infer, the child behaves normally, except every once in a while, he likes to go into a dark room, closet, or tent, and sit for about 30 minutes. If any adult did that, we'd call it "unwinding", but because it's a child, something must be "wrong".

If you think "piece of mind" in regards to a child can be purchased at the hands of a physician, you are sadly mistaken. That, or you have no idea what kind of trouble little kids can get into, even WITH proper supervision.

Einstein didn't talk in his early childhood either. A genius friend of mine didn't talk until late, she said she wanted to understand and have the questions fully formed before she asked them. She also wanted to speak perfectly when she did talk. She said she spent time thinking instead of talking. My brother is also considered genius, and he stuttered in his youth. He said he knew so many different ways to ask or say something that he couldn't choose which one.
I would definitely check for autism.
My first impression was also that he just likes the dark and finds it peaceful. My daughter wasn't afraid of the dark until she was about 4 or 5. Her imagination got the better of her though.

Originally posted by hawaiigurl
Sorry if this is posted in the wrong area.

My son is 2 years and 2 months old. He doesn't talk so there isn't a way where I can communicate with him on this. Usually, most kids are afraid of the dark, but my son isn't. We have a bedroom that is his playroom. He usually doesn't do this in the day but at night time, when it is dark, with no lights, he will either go into the closet or in his tent and just stand or sit there, for up to 30 mins. He is usually very active so it is unusual that he will sit still for so long. A lot of the times I have snuck up on him to see if he is playing or talking (making noises) with himself or his imaginary friend. But he doesn't he just sits there. I don't think that he is trying to play hide and seek because when he does he will go under the sheet or hide under his blanket and then uncover himself and then say "boo". Anyone know why he is doing this.

silence is golden at any age

i used to do the same thing, and just think and pinder and wonder at the amazement of life and being that age, well i was more like 5 and just wondering anything and everything

not having any distractions is great, like i said at any age

we dont remember what its like to be 2 so how can we know what is exactly going on, if he likes it and its positive for him, itll help him grow as an individual

Originally posted by Ceara

Although I type a lot on forums today, I still don't talk much, unless I have something worthwhile or important to say.

The important messages don't come in the form of words in my opinion.

They are just descriptions for the real stuff!

Originally posted by sir_chancealot
And where did the OP say that the child has physically hurt himself?

I was using that example as an analogy. I know the OP didn't say the child physically hurt himself.

Using the above quote, can anyone else see why I don't trust doctors and "medical professionals"? Let's see, was it average people who gave the MMR and Thimerosal-laced immunizations (which, btw, were only done to SAVE MONEY) or was it "medical professionals". And autism isn't "treatable" as the average person would define it. Are you using a different definition?

Childhood vaccinations are a requirement if you intend to place your child in a public. Like it or not, it's the law unless you have some really valid reason not to comply. you're right, autism is not curable, but the the symptoms can be lessened with intervention.

Considering the "medical professionals" are trying to dope up little boys for, GASP!, acting like little boys; and trying to give "cholesterol reducing drugs" to children (all the while ignoring high fructose corn syrup, which is a CHEMICAL, not "corn syrup" in any stretch of the imagination), I'd say the medical profession is a little suspect.

I don't advocate for unnecessary medical intervention either, but childhood vaccinations are also warranted to ensure the safety of other children, and to avoid outbreaks of many preventable diseases. Schools happen to be breeding grounds for all kinds of viruses and bacteria.

They are good for patching you up when you have a bacterial/viral disease, broken bones, ruptured veins and arteries, or injured organs, but not much good for the prevention of disease, nor for a diagnosis of "normal".

If you really believe that SC you're living in the Dark Ages still. The problem with the vaccinations was the mercury content, which is supposed to be a non-issue now. Some medical clinics are obviously not complying and still using old serums.

Here's the thing. From everything we can infer, the child behaves normally, except every once in a while, he likes to go into a dark room, closet, or tent, and sit for about 30 minutes. If any adult did that, we'd call it "unwinding", but because it's a child, something must be "wrong".

Speech is one of the critical Developmental Milestones, and in most children develops within the first two years.

If you think "piece of mind" in regards to a child can be purchased at the hands of a physician, you are sadly mistaken. That, or you have no idea what kind of trouble little kids can get into, even WITH proper supervision.

I have five children, so I think I know a little bit about the subject. I always prefer to play it safe, but feel free to do as you like.

Hey,

I have four kids, all past that age now, and in general I would say not to worry about it too much. The only advice I would give you is, instead of just observing him, go and sit and experience it WITH him.

And there's no better way to develop a child's language skills than by talking to them, and in front of them... along with reading books to them.

Maybe see if you can find a good book that deals with this subject specifically - the dark, quiet places, night, and being alone. You may be surprised at his reaction!

Good luck!

I've worked extensively with persons with cognitive disabilities. I would not rule out Autism but it seems unlikely. The only reason I would not rule it out is that I've worked with 3 individuals who spent a lot of time in their closet or locked in the bathroom laying down in the tub. This was simply where they were comfortable, especially in an overly stimulating environment and I know many "normal" people who have the same preference.

Some things to watch for: Slow speech development, little or no reaction to your interactions, looking "distant", walking in circles or pacing excessively, repetition of actions and sounds, extensive curiosity towards sensory things (smelling everything with a strong odour, rubbing hands on rough surfaces, repeated banging or slamming on doors/walls), and just a sort of "aggressive" way of doing things (motor functions are slightly inhibited and "gentle" movement is difficult).

Many of these are common attributes in all children though. The ones to keep your eye on are the ones pertaining to body movement. Body rocking, pacing, and general body movements that just seem odd. If your child acts normally with his body language then don't worry.

Hope this helps!

Originally posted by Valorian

Originally posted by nerbot
On a bright note consider this...

maybe he is in some form of early meditation, trancelike. This would hopefully lead to an early boost to his "inner" thoughts and feelings.

Sounds like he's just "thinking" if you ask me. Experiencing himself.

Be prepared for a million questions when he learns to talk and don't be surprised at just where his ideas come from.

Good luck and try not to worry. Nature does amazing things sometimes.

I may agree here.

If you meditate then try just sitting with you son on your lap in his space - not yours.
He has chosen this space to be in this state so join hima nd see what happens.
If you do not meditate that is ok too, sit in his room with him and watch his state of grace.
Young children often have access to higher understanding even though they do not know how to comprehend it, with you being with him it offers a state of acceptance for him and you and will help both of you.

Your son is already making this a "habit" and i use that term very loosley.
its a good habit :-) let it just happen and it will happen as it should.

Valorian

[edit on 29-7-2008 by Valorian]

I have to agree here, perhaps your son is already seeking the true meaning of life by being a natural mediator. Although he can't communicate as of yet, try doing what Valorian has suggested: That is, try meditating with him and see if you get any glimpse of what he is thinking, he may be able to communicate with you this way, telepathically.

The "twos" are a tough time for kids. So much is going on with them making the transition from baby to mobile, communicative person it’s hard and confusing. I have two sons, grown now. Imo boys do seem slower at communication skills than girls. I talk constantly and talked to the boys, read to the boys, answered all their “whys” yet they did not talk as early as my friend’s daughters. At two they could use words to express their needs and wants but could not converse much beyond that. I think this is often the reason for the twos being called “terrible” it’s a frustrating time for kids not yet being able to fully master this communication thing like the rest of the family.

It was especially apparent with our youngest. He would get quite frustrated with his limitations after watching his older brother do things he wanted to do. He would throw himself down on the floor and kick and scream and cry. I would tell him that is not how humans act and I would try to calm him and distract him. If that didn’t work we would go to the time out table in his room and he could sit quietly and color, paint or play with play dough. Things he could successfully do. He would come out usually sniffling but much calmer. He would hear the rest of us interacting and he wanted to be a part of our family but had to understand he was expected to act like a human and not a maniac.

It was a short-lived phase. My mother was angered by it and told me I should pick him up off the floor and beat his behind. I knew where it was coming from and ignored her. Now you would not recognize that two year old. This son is so kind and gentle so soft-spoken and compassionate. After that short time during his two’s he became absolutely the most easygoing child he still fought with his brother. Imo this was just the course his development took.

As someone mentioned do talk to your pediatrician but also educate yourself. If you do not agree with what your doctor decides see another. Just be careful it seems today doctors want to play the autistic, ADD card too often. The drugs used in treating the disorders are serious. Even if the child is diagnosed with such afflictions I think people need to research the drugs. My nephew has been on one drug after another since 5 now he is 20 and has developed turrets due to the drugs. In hindsight my sister-in-law wishes she had gone slower with the drugs and looked to alternative methods but the public school would not enroll him without the drugs. It’s really sad my sister-in-law read by the late teens most ADD children's symptoms lesson some unfortunately do not. Either way his tics and turrets are with him now for life. He was diagnosed as having a mild form of autism and ADD. My sister-in-law knew something was wrong from the beginning he just wouldn’t cuddle, bond or look her in the eye. He was not normal one second and distant the next. It was more than a mood or phase.

I wish you the best with your little one. Just be careful around doctors education is your best defense. I'm not saying doctors are evil they just really have strong faith in what they do and like to practice their trade.

reply to post by Morningglory


I agree here. Doctors these days tend to lean towards the newest "trend" when diagnosing. From the way they administer anti-depressants and drugs for treating Autism and ADD you have to be very careful. It seems like every second person these days is "clinically depressed" and the other half have a mild form of ADD. While early diagnosis is always beneficial I would wait until at least 3 - 4 years of age before worrying about any cognitive disfunctions as children younger than that can easily be mis-diagnosed due to the fact that all of us develop differently.

I don't think at this stage it's anything to worry about, unless he starts exhibiting strange behaviour. As a child I wanted to sleep in the dark, the darker the better. As an adult, I need a bit of light coming into the room. I used to go to bed and pull the sheets right over me and it wasn't out of any fear. I think I might have just wanted to shut off any stimulation and daydream. I still daydream and space out. I did talk early as a child though, apparantly.

I don't think it's Autism, although there is a milder form of this being called aspergers, where the person is quite intelligent, but dislikes light and over stimulation, and has no use for small talk. I personally wouldn't label that as a disease, they seem to come up with these labels. I think we all have individual personalities, some people are loud and expressive and enjoy or need to be around others, while some of us just need time-out.

I suggest just letting him be himself, and don't make a big deal out of it to him or call him wierd. It may pass.

the best way is to video tape him, turn on night mode and with a little bit of light you can video tape his facial expression well, after that play it on your TV, you will see and understand everythng you need to know, hopefully not more than what you need to know, prepare yourself thought.

do it and trust your instint, half of the ppl reply here aren't married with kids.

reply to post by hawaiigurl


Um,

He doesn't talk


uncover himself and then say "boo".

Does he speak or not? Or do you mean he can't really hold a conversation and understand one enough to discuss this with you? You don't think he would even understand if you tried to ask him in a simple manner why he does this?