My daughter is breaking my heart!

i have a toddler and it amazes me how innocent and beautiful he is. i've already wondered how long it will take for him to lose that innocence and it depresses me a little to think about it. i only hope that i'm a good enough parent to keep him somewhat sane. my parents did a pretty good job with me so hopefully that helps.

hope it all works out with your daughter. as someone who's not much older than your daughter, i'll just say that if you address the issue with her in a respectful way and talk to her as an adult that might go a long way. i'm not saying that you wouldn't, i'm just saying that's the sort of thing that i appreciate from my parents growing up.

Hi Jen, just checking back in to find out how the special lunch went for you?


I know that being a parent is the single most important job anyone can do.


It is always a challenge that has its ups and downs. Just remember that you have done the best you can and respect yourself for that. As for her changes, at 20 years old they have nothing to do with you per sey. What she has learned just needs time to be digested. Have faith and remember to always listen with your heart without judgment. And know that everything is perfect for her growth in the moment. You always have a friend willing to listen with me. j.

Antar.....

We had a nice lunch, and reasoned with eachother. We talked about future plans in both her life and mine, and she finally gets it..then we spent the rest of the day looking at 2 bedroom apartments We decided we're going to be roomies, and she's going to go back to college, and I'm always going to be there for her even when she thinks I'm not. And she's going to stop playing her father against me..I think she really gets it this time

Well this is all very vague, but good luck I guess.

by the way I don't know why people are acting like they know whats going on lol. I mean maybe the daughter is right, no offence, we just don't know the story haha, again no offence I don't know anything, I'm just saying sometimes mothers forget that their children are not kids anymore, she is 20 grown up, I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

Anyway good luck.

Everybody in this thread does know whats going on but you

And this isn't a matter of me sticking my nose in her business, she's been sticking her nose in mine, and she's agreed to stop doing that, and to stop saying poor daddy. She's free to live her life how ever she chooses she's an adult, but she's not allowed to dictate how I live mine.

Originally posted by jensouth31
Everybody in this thread does know whats going on but you

I don't see how thats possible!? too vague.

But whatever, I'm happy everything turned out good.

OK, Louise,

No u2u' frm you. I guess you are real busy. Glad to hear you may have worked things out!

As always, i wish you the best!

Your bussom buddy.

[edit on 7-2-2008 by dgtempe]

Originally posted by _Phoenix_

I don't see how thats possible!? too vague.

Only the women know what's going on, that's because we are so intune with eachother that we can read between the line.

Originally posted by jensouth31

Originally posted by _Phoenix_

I don't see how thats possible!? too vague.

Only the women know what's going on, that's because we are so intune with eachother that we can read between the line.

No...... I get whats going on, It's just for possibly personal reasons that you don't go into details.

Your daughter said some really personal things to you, things related to the past, and your husband, her father, you got really upset, and felt disrespected.
Something like that.

We just don't know what, why how etc.

Not that we should. haha, thats why I said it is too vague for people to judge.

Only my best friends get the to hear me air the dirty laundry.

Originally posted by jensouth31
Only my best friends get the to hear me air the dirty laundry.

Haha ofcourse

Im very glad to hear everything is working out between you two again.

I hope that whole roomie thing turns out great for y'all and ya have fun!

*hugs* Take care Jen, love ya!

Glad you two worked it out, Jen. Can't have one of my crushes down in the dumps...

Seriously, glad it's better. Amazing what can occur when people talk things out. Doesn't always work, but usually it does.

My Daughter is 17 and well, I love her but sometimes I just have to take a step back and say ????? she is awful.

FACT.

We can only do our best. Raise them with love and try to teach them/instill in them manners etc but they are developing and learning their own way.

And sometimes you just have to let them go off on their awful tangent and just sit back and wait for them to experience. It is gut wrenching but I have fired up at my Daughter when she pushed the envelope too far, but I think now, it is a waste of energy, because in the mind of a mini adult, they know what is best = (we have no idea of what it is like being their age in this time)

So, at times it is a no win situation.

My Daughter hurt a friend of hers greatly. Still to this day, she regrets it. Lesson learnt. I told her but na, she still did it. She knows now, she lost a good friend because of what she did.

Anyway, all the best with everything and just wanted to throw in my support...

Not sure if its wisdom...but I have found a nice place to exist amongst the turmoil... LOL

Originally posted by seagull
Can't have one of my crushes down in the dumps...

I'm climbing out of a 21 year dump and things are gonna change, one way or the other.... things are gonna change!
Thanks Seagull

reply to post by jensouth31


You go, girl.

Sometimes you gotta get drastic. Best of luck and keep smilin'.

reply to post by jensouth31


You are so strong. You have way more strength and courage than I do. I know though what you are going through has to be the hardest thing on this planet.

Jen what is going to happen with your chickens? Are you going to keep them or do you have to get rid of them?

Originally posted by Shar
You are so strong.

Yep that's what I've been hearing from everyone for many, many years.
And for many, many years I've given everything, and been everything to everyone and I lost myself somewhere along the way. I don't want to be the strong one anymore.



[edit on 2/8/2008 by jensouth31]

And for many, many years I've given everything, and been everything to everyone and I lost myself somewhere along the way. I don't want to be the strong one anymore.

Hey ditto. At some point kids need to stop seeing you as their possession and view you as a person with needs, fears and doubts just like their own.

This is the friction of giant continents (of mistaken beliefs) grinding against one another. They need to go figure that you are their mother, but you're also the person you used to be long, long ago before you married and now you have to find that person again. You need to find something and someone for yourself.

They need to grow up and understand that years of being a mom doesn't mean you gave up on loving and being loved, or cared for...

Their lives have been a fairy tale until now thanks to your great parenting Jenn. Now their bubble has burst, it isn't fair of them to blame you. You have to play your role too though and don't draw them into your grievances, okay?

At some point you can't stay in a smoke filled room... You have to burst out and get some fresh air. breath deep girl.

Your kids are angry and hurt that their bubble has burst, but they have to adjust and grow up. It's they who need to change and adapt now, but remember they love both of you equally. They can't understand this.

Wish I had the answer. You know I struggle with my own nightmares. Be yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You can't be responsible for them forever.

Take care sweetie

[edit on 10-3-2008 by sy.gunson]

Hey Jenn, this will tickle you pink. My son Isaac just 7 years old in January and teaching me how to fly a Boeing 737. Poor thing. His feet can't reach the foot pedals but he can already fly a plane better than I can.





[edit on 10-3-2008 by sy.gunson]

[edit on 10-3-2008 by sy.gunson]