Do you mind if I fart ?

tHAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A MACHINEGUN FART. aND IT WAS A WET-ONE, TOO. I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHECK MYSELF. HOPE I DIDN'T LEAVE SKIDMARKS.

[edit on 1/11/08 by FredT]

When we sit back and 'pass the time' like we are doing with the flatulence routine here, does that mean that we are all being anal retentive? If so, I have to admit I'm one of the bigger anal retentives here at ATS. Just don't be pulling my finger any time soon, please

I like it when people say, when refering to little children:"Isn't he a cute little fart?". Or when pointing out an elderly person:"Hey, look at that old fart trying to cross the road". Flatulence, ya gotta love it. Why? Because it's always better out then in. I think that used to be Richard Nixons problem. He always looked like he was constipated. Well, I guess he had to be because he only got the 'runs' every four years. Poor guy. No wonder he got caught with his pants down at Watergate. Taking too much time to get the job done.

Or, as that french charcter said in that movie, "Monty Python And The Holy Grail", "I fart in your general direction."

Or to quote Buddha -

"The body speak when the mind knows the moment is to profound for words."

I am sorry but there is nothing funnier then a fart, good old potty humor never gets old. My wife and I dont hold anything back anymore, when we first started dating and staying the night with eachother, I would have a stomach ache when I left. Get in my truck, and boom, I thought the windows would blow out a couple times. The day of diclosure came at my parents house, she said she was going to the bathroom, I snuck around the corner, and let it fly. After the echoing stopped I heard her laugh, she had stopped on her way to the bathroom to look at something on the TV. After that I figured what the hell, she broke the fart barrier soon after.

I try to be polite around her, try to be a gentleman, I still let em fly, but I dont do what I used to do with my guy friends. We use to get alot of fun out of cupping farts in class and throwing them at each other. If you catch someone fully concentrated you can usually plaster them with full force.

It is only a bodily function, and when you fart, be proud people, your body is functioning as it is supposed to.

I remember one time camping in Oregon with my parents when I was a wee young child. We were in our tent, and I let one fly, it was the loudest fart I have ever let in my life. After expelled, people from all over the campground where laughing, and cheering. My dad said "son, you should absolutely be proud of what you just did there". Ah good old potty humor.