How may 40 plus don't even recognise this current reality?

God Bless you TTE, I know deep down 4 yrs is too long to be in a major funk/depression. Time to throw my hands up.
Thank you
John

reply to post by jpm1602


Sorry to hear of your loss. Life deals us many cards and we can look for the positive (although at times that is VERY hard to find) or we can lose faith and hope. Please never lose hope (faith that can be a different being) but hope as they say springs eternal.

I have been dealt a few blows in my life but each new dawn is a new day of learning and meeting new people and sharing new experiences. One of the greatest and most 'healing' things we can do is to open our hearts and let others in. It is hard granted but give it a try, you might be surprsied how many there are out there waiting to let you in.

Blessings

Originally posted by 123143
Add me to the "Post-2000 Sucks" crowd. I'd like to go back to 1999 and start over. Life's been brutal to me since the turn of the century.

Same for me.
I am right in this line behind you..................

9-11 yanked my job out from under me.... and I have not been able to find solid footing since......now I am living in the section 8 world.

[edit on 21-10-2007 by theRiverGoddess]

Thanks for opening this thread. Though I cant say I share the majority experience, and so far I am an optimist, deep down I am bracing for that ultimate truth to strike close enough to bring me to a similar state ... that is not much fun either - awareness of the fragility of it all.

On a global level, I think the human species needs to evolve, fast. We are too isolated, too corrupted to self serving motives to feel for each other. Perhaps our future is in a networked entity, perhaps the internet is an early blueprint ... until then find someone close and hold on.

Originally posted by Rasputin13
I'm only 26, but I'm in the same boat. I lost my father, who was my best friend and the most important person in my life, suddenly in the summer of 2001. He was such a great man and loved by so many people. He would give you the shirt off his back and did so much to help those who were less-fortunate. I almost think that God took him, a month before 9/11, to spare him of what has since happened and what is still yet to come.

I'm with you...
I'm same age as you(26) and lost my mom in the beginning of '01. She was a great person as well, willing to help anyone in need...

After 2000, which came to be the better year of my life, everything was gone. I left my hometown, great job, didn't start medical school, and life as I knew it because of the pain of her passing... the memories when going to familiar place would cause me to cry all the time. My big move actually did save my life. Before 2001 I experienced a lot of loss as well, but this was the most impacting, of course.
I tried and try still to start over, but it feels life will never be the same, even if she's always here in memory. I don't regret the good things and people of this path of life, but I doubt it is what it was destined to be. That just hurts the most, though it does and is getting easier over time...

If I could be stuck in the late 90s I'd take that any time over now.

[edit on 21-10-2007 by dreamingawake]

I feel for ya. In my early 30s I get that way often. Things can get you down hard and fast. All I can advise is to like the song goes "live like you are dying". Because we are. So live hard, love hard, and break the rules. I dont know ya, but I will say a prayer for you.

I thank you all. All good sentiments, as much as I hate to it's time to tear down that wall and open some dialogue.
Much thanks
Best Regards
John
You know, you all are like cyber family to me as odd as that may seem.
You give me hope and volumes of info.
Peace

sorry to hear of your loss. if my wife died, i would also die.

being a recent 41'er, i've had some time to reflect back on life and how the world as we know it has changed for the worse.

i graduated top of my class in '92. the world was my apple. i mean how could you not be in good hands having the proper work ethic, talent and skills to enter the pro market early on.

as the years started to go by, i noticed how housing prices started to climb. in denver, co. when i graduated i was paying $350/mo. for rent in a large 2 bedroom home on capitol hill. we stayed there for 13 years collectively. by the time we left our home, we were paying a mere $450./mo. for rent. (amazing even by standards back then) -- as we were in that last home, we watched the upstairs flat sky-rocket to $1200. (!)

housing kept screaming upwards and pay got better but always out of reach for home ownership.

several years later, we now live in northern california, and the margin between home ownership and pay is even more dramatic. we've worked hard and have good jobs, and still will never get to live that (don't laugh) "american dream".

the simple act of owning a home and getting a chance to have a family; one of the most fundamental things one could ask for in life, is and will be out of reach for us and we've come to live with that.

i look at my step-father whom raised us in a nice 5 bedroom home in a beautiful forest on 1 single blue-collar paycheck and it makes me wish "we" was born 25 years earlier.

now at 41 i'm looking at the hard reality of not being "fortunate" enough to start a family and now priorities force us to focus on saving money for retirement.

i have had in my career 2 employers that have offered up any type of retirement plan, and always felt kind of "chipped" when hearing about friend's that had employers match 100% on their 401k. (sorry i don't mean to sound bitter. i live a happy life and have a great wife)

i have 8 years left on my student loans - no credit card debt, and am barely making it.
and i've made a LOT more money than my father ever did.

in 1992 i bought a 2 wheel drive toyota pick-up. i used to fill it up where gas would spill down the side at $11. --- i just sold that truck in may (14 years later) and a fill up costed $34 dollars...

this place / world we live in is so wrecked it's not even funny.

god speed to all future children out there.

Kind of funny. I've been lurking on ATS for about a month now and today decided to register. I can relate to the OP's post. I am 43 and have reached a point where I simply ask "what's next". The '80's were great. Graduation, good jobs, marriage, bought my first house, body shop to supplement income. 90's were a turning point for me. It almost seemed as if any good thing that happened was immediately tempered. My son was born in '92, diagnosed 3 months later with Rubenstein Taybi Syndrome. Divorced first wife in '95 (she was cheating, after 11 years of marriage). Remarried in '97, a woman that worked in the same (large) company as I. After working with the same company for 14 years, lost my job in '00....started as a quality inspector and worked my way up through the company (production supervisor, HR...implemented various team and suggestion programs, quality systems...QS-9000, QC Asst. Mgr...80 suppliers and 70 associates) before I took a stand. Was tired of hiring people that started out at 5K more a year than I was making (and yes, I did not have a degree....was too busy raising my disabled son to think about college). Less than 8 months later, split with my second wife....she was unfaithful during the time I spent in my garage trying to make ends meet. A month before the split, I had found a job (Plant Manager at a small injection molding company) and yet it wasn't enough to make a difference with my spouse at that time. Upon splitting (giving up half of the equity in the house, and half of my 401K from my previous job) I moved into an apartment closer to my job. I lost my father in '02 (cancer)....spent the last 2 weeks at his bedside or sleeping in the hospital waiting room. Was at his side, holding his hand at the end....breathing was shallow and labored. I told him that I've seen him fight more than anyone should and promised him I'd take care of mom....he died within 5 minutes of hearing that. Less than 6 months after his death, my mom was diagnosed with AIDS. She had been to various drs. compaining of different symptoms (including mouth sores) and nobody tested for HIV (since there had been no sexual activity for years....dad's high blood pressure and meds, etc.). Within a month or so of mom's diagnosis, I met a wonderful lady who I truly adore. At that time she had some serious issues with her eyes (diabetes related cataracts and surgeries)....have oftened joked that I approached her since she couldn't see what I looked like (you know, going after the weakest in the herd lol). I've stayed with her through thick and thin (including two eye surgeries) and was there for her on her birthday when I came home from a brief visit to work (machine problems) to find her in our recliner in a full-blown diabetic seizure (her blood sugar was so low that the EMT could not get it to read at all on their meter). She had fought the idea of an insulin pump for years....once she was back home from the ER, I told her that was her freebie....next time I'd kick her tail. 2 months later, she was fitted with the insulin pump and it has been great since then (sugar levels completely under control and her eyes have not degraded since). She works with a large insurance provider and was approached with an advancement opportunity at the end (December) of '06. Though I had a decent job (Plant Manager) I could tell it was leading nowhere. We decided (within 24 hrs.) to approach it as a done deal....I've had many opportunities in my career, this was her first. 12/06 decide to go for it....2/28/07 move into new house (I bought without having a job in that location). Have had one interview since moving here (overqualified, undereducated) and am desperately ready to work again. My son (now 15) has continued to have issues due to his syndrome (now Drs. are saying maybe we should consider that he'll never walk again). "God never puts more on you than you can handle" I truly believe in God. I simply wonder, what's next

Sorry for the rambling post above. Though it may be hard to read/follow, it comes from the heart and I appreciate the opportunity to put it into words.

Also....I was totally surprised how quickly 4000 characters are used. Yes, I can be long-winded but that surprised even me.

reply to post by TruthIsPower



Some times the best therapy is just to get things ‘off your chest’. Don't apologise for that as we often feel much better when we do.

I can not imagine how it has been for you. I have had a very fortunate life although I have lost a number of people including family who were very dear to me. Last year I nursed my husband whilst holding down a fulltime job. We were not sure that my husband would make it. Thank God he did and we now have a life back on an even keel again.

It is hard at times to see a light at the end of the tunnel but I have a feeling things will start to look up for you. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Don't lose heart.

There are always troubles in a person's life. It's just part of what we all have to go through.

In 1995 I lost my husband. In 1997 I lost my mother. In 1999 I lost my step-father. Right now in 2007 I am going through a second bout with my youngest daughter that has cancer.

In spite of the loss, the heartache, the stress, the pain, and all the troubles...I have faith. I know that everything happens for a reason and God has his reasons for allowing all these things to happen. Someday all of this will be made clear.

In the meantime, I put all my faith and trust in Jesus because no matter what I have to go through or endure, I know that he will be with me to help me through it and in the end it will all make sense. Faith and trust are the keys.

Marilyn~

I wish there was something I could do to make all you people feel better, happier and at peace.

namaste
whaaa

Truth is power...no need for 'long winded' apologies. My Mom was my best friend, when she died in 2003, a piece of me died with her. She always validated me and made me feel special. I now am lost.

Sorry for your losses, just remember you live for them today to carry forth there legacy. My thoughts and prayers go out you.
The movie "The Matrix" seams more real than reality some times. We only control a small segment of our lives and every minute that goes by wrests a little more of that control away. Why it takes until you reach the four-Os is the tough part. We can only control what we can hold in out pockets, "the Hampster, Frog or snake may get out". Homes and cars we hold a title to that is subject to revoke by the State or County that issued it. In some cases we will be paid for them is those in power want to. You can do as you please with them as long as it does not break their rules. A though the next time that you look at that ultra-violet paint additive in the home store. Water, food and beer are rented as explained by a past friend.

Looking back:
The 70's after the first gas crunch (*) turned out to be a good time for working and moving up.
The 80's were supposed to be the good times with new technologies and progress. Turns out we so things turn to the worst then level out. Lost 3 remaining Grand parents within 2 years. Things got a little better toward the end but it remained a struggle for many but it was at least somewhat stable.
Going into the 90's did not look much better but opportunities were opening up for many people. As we moved on I saw a lot of people including family members start to accumulate some wealth. Even crime went down. Over 100 countries signed on as peace loving nations and borders were opened for places that we never dreamed of visiting.
The start of the '00's seemed to be the start of a golden age. After the champaign wore off from new years it all turned south. Through that year I witnesses an entire change in hope for the future. Looking back I could now see those that had tunneled under the 90's to pop up in the 00's to wreck the train. From that point it has been a spiral for so many people that it would look like an abyss sucking people down in a expressionists drawings. 911 saw the end of Liberty as we knew it. From there on we have all been living in a changed world and all we have to prove any of it is conspiracies.

1927 and 2001 had national states of emergencies declared. The first was later lifted. The second still remains since 911. With amendments to the constitution dating back to Lincoln and the US Civil War there has been a provision that allows for the declaration of martial law. I found this recently while checking over an old harddrive that I wanted to format and use. Basically according to the writer "During a declared state of emergency the Government has within it's power to declare martial law". Ever since 911 the nation emergency color coded system has been in place meaning we are still currently held at a state of martial law. For the most part we are allowed to go about, post on this board and live on. The part I don't like is that all these things are now monitored and stored away to be used against you should someone decide to.
Conversation on the phone about a prank in high-school, try getting on a plane.
What you bought in the grocery store, get a call from your health coach "Wait how did you know I bought those twinkies".
Those military grade xyz components you bought to build a backyard sculpture, check you street for dark windows SUVs.
The 00's brought the world more instability than seen since the 1940s. Just when it all seems to be getting good, all goes to pot. From the what the people around me in my area are talking, you would think that this is a great time to live. No I would not trade it for some of the eras in the past but I do think that this era was uncalled for. As some of you stated having lost mothers, I also lost mine during that time. I also have to say, she was the anchor in my life being the one person person that has always been there. I still do look forward to the time when we can all see better lives and peace!

Weeks afterward I'd still reach for the phone to call her and get her grocery list for the weekend. Poor thing went to church almost every day until the last five years due to vascular problems. I'll never forget the call from my sister saying 'Mom's dead, I need you here'. The phone flung out of my hand while wailing 'NO!'. I knew it was coming somehow. She was 72 and lived a good life, and did not have to see a nursing home. Funny how she calmed me on my 12 minute ride to the house, her voice in my head 'take it easy, I'm not going anywhere', lol, she was the jokester. My dogs went buggy for the next three days at her presumed visitations to my house. It got so bad I finally had to tell her 'Mom, you're driving my dogs nuts'. And it stopped. Just like that. I know she rests in peace, and part of that peace was for me to get my mourning over with. It just hasn't been the same without her.