Who am I really? A Search for Self

No really, who are you?

You are given a name at birth by your parents and the freedom to change your name when you are of legal age.

But what is in a name?

Is this who you truly are?

Am I Gavin because this is the name I was given at birth?

Who is Gavin?

Do I behave differently because of the name I was given?

I would say yes and no. Our perceptions differ because we respond to different calls.

I won't answer when someone calls me 'Joe' or 'Bob'. That is not my 'name.'

But are we really just the name?

Or are we something more, or less?

Who are you?

Why are you here?

What am I supposed to do?

These are things I ask myself on a typically daily basis.

I search for my Self every day, whenever I can.

While at work, while at home, while driving (maybe not the best idea, but I am an experienced driver ) I think.

I think of what I can be, what I'm supposed to be.

You can be whatever or whoever you want to, but it has to be your Self.

If you fake your Self and pretend to be someone else, your whole life is lived in vain.

No matter what decisions you make, make it your own.

Don't listen to me, your parents, your preacher, a book. Listen to your Self.

Ask your Self questions, and you will find the answers.

I am not a teacher, I am a student.

We are all students in life, and everyone is a teacher to someone else.

Perhaps you will be my teacher and I shall learn from you. We can all teach, if we share our incites.

I am this, I am that, I can be whatever I choose to be.

But that's it, a choice. You must choose.

That is what the search for Self is. Choosing who you want to be, where you want to go, and how you will get there.

The destination is all the same, and there is but one path, but that path can be walked in many ways.

I am who I am.


'We are Spirits having a human awakening.'

[edit on 16-7-2007 by biggie smalls]

By the way, this was not meant to be some cryptic confusing post.

If you can't understand my writing style or you don't like what I have to say question me.

It can only improve both of our understanding of reality.

So probe all you like .



One of my favorite songs by 'Dispatch - Hey, Hey' has a lyric that goes like this:

say what you want, say what you mean
question yourself are you really what you seem?
say who you are, say what you mean
question yourself are you really what you dream?

They have some pretty good advice, in my opinion anyway.

[edit on 16-7-2007 by biggie smalls]

It was all perfectly clear to me. I liked it.

I see some possibilities in dramatic interrogation.

Is there not a vision? Some ultimate goal or destination, a purpose? Whether you ignore it, search for it, or reach for it does it not guide us on our path?

Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to live to light a heaven conscious of his fleeting time here.

-Maynard James Keenan (Tool)

Everything you say resonates with me. The search for self is the greatest journey of them all. Who we are and why we are here are questions that can be answered, if we have the courage to seek out our truth.

In my opinion always questioning yourself and challenging your own beliefs can only lead to beauty.

Great fan of Dispatch btw, they are local to my home state.

Very nice! I think about these things, too. And I have been for many years now. I have been extremely fortunate in that I was introduced and heavily involved in some experiences (training, education) for several years that helped me a great deal in my search for self. I don't think I'll ever truly know the fullness of 'who I am' while I'm here in this life, but I've got a pretty good idea...

My purpose? If I have a specific purpose, I'll discover it someday. Until then, I'll operate on the assumption that my purpose is to be, grow, learn and love.

I know most of what I yearn for in life...

Honesty
Integrity
Creativity
Strength
Challenge
Drama
Laughter
Beauty

I know what I believe...

I believe that I am accountable for everything that occurs in my life.
I believe that lying is the greatest offense against myself.
I believe that happiness is a choice I make every day, not a goal.
I believe that Love is the single most powerful force in existence.
I believe that I have absolutely everything I need.
I believe that I’m a soul in possession of a mind and a body.
I believe that how I feel is always my responsibility.
I believe that if I Love, Love will come to me.
I believe that we are all one, connected by the bonds of Love.
I believe that my purpose here is to contribute to, rather than diminish, the goodwill that exists in the world.
I believe that respect is the most important foundation for a relationship of any kind.
I believe that death is nothing to fear.
I believe that two people can disagree and both be right.
I believe that everything is just exactly as it should be.
I believe that we always have a choice in any circumstance. All the choices might not be equally attractive, but we always have a choice.
I believe that the only thing that I can control is me.
And I believe in infinite possibilities.

Things I know about myself...

I know that my passion is dogs.
I know that I'm a lousy housekeeper, but a dynamite cook.
I know that my main relationship is one of the best around.
I know that I tend to be controlling and somewhat 'preachy'.
I know that I'm harsh and sometimes 'shocking' in my communications.
I know that I'm a good friend to have.
I know that my name is nothing more or less important than the shirt I wear.
I know I'm way "low-maintenance'.
I know that I think I'm right, but I'm open-minded.
I know that I act all hard core, but I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm sensitive.

And I know that I still have a lot to learn about myself.

The more important question is, why would anyone want to emulate Biggie Smalls? He was a decent rapper, blah blah blah... but he was nothing more than a common street thug and drug dealer.

I was taken aback with the thought behind your posts with a SN like biggie smalls. Is to screw with people's minds? Why do people consider him a hero? Even if he didn't get wacked, he'd still be dead right now because of his morbid obesity.

Please try not to take offence to this. I'm not trying to belittle you. Just curious. Peace.

Dissension, try to figure it out yourself. Just think outside the box a little, and allow yourself to think through many angles at once. Biggie (ATS biggie) is obviously a wise person, and his username probaly implies a meaning, but its for the benefit of others, not himself. A nametag means nothing really, only to distinguish between yourself and another person.. but seeing as you need one, why not choose one with a deeper meaning, to get the observer to THINK, which is what you were doing when you wrote your post

Perhaps you will be my teacher and I shall learn from you. We can all teach, if we share our incites.

I am this, I am that, I can be whatever I choose to be.

But that's it, a choice. You must choose.

That is what the search for Self is. Choosing who you want to be, where you want to go, and how you will get there.

The destination is all the same, and there is but one path, but that path can be walked in many ways.

I am who I am.

I really liked this biggie

The search for who you are is the most rewarding and driving force that there is, because it only leads back to one thing.. love. You are the created and the creator.

I hope more people will read what you wrote. Watching someone wake up is like watching a child grow, but it in no way implies that a child is inferior. Far from it. We are all God. Just being, in the here and now, and watching somethign positive unfold is the biggest reward you can get.

"I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success... Such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything." - Nikola Tesla.. my idol.

Biggiessmalls, you already know the answers to these questions of your mind. So don't mind fruck your self. Just keep looking inside and connect with the witness within. You are on the right track my friend , just remember you can always do the "Who am I" meditation. Meditation all forms and types, maybe start with Dynamic for 21 days at 6am. You know what I mean...

Originally posted by biggie smalls
No really, who are you?

i dont know who i am and i dont think ill know who i am until i am very old or dead.

You are given a name at birth by your parents and the freedom to change your name when you are of legal age.

But what is in a name?

james

Is this who you truly are?

no

Am I Gavin because this is the name I was given at birth?

Who is Gavin?

Do I behave differently because of the name I was given?

I would say yes and no. Our perceptions differ because we respond to different calls.

i think a lot of people would argue that our name does effect who we are as a person. i am not one of those people.

I won't answer when someone calls me 'Joe' or 'Bob'. That is not my 'name.'

But are we really just the name?

if you make yourself just the name

Or are we something more, or less?

we CAN be something more, but until we figure out how we can be something more we are something less.

Who are you?

Why are you here?

i dont know who i am or why im here yet. isnt this what life is all about? figuring out who you are and why we're here? we'll figure it out.

What am I supposed to do?

youre supposed to be the best person you can be. you need to be 100% happy with yourself and with what youre doing all while trying to make sure the people around you are as happy as you can make them.

These are things I ask myself on a typically daily basis.

I search for my Self every day, whenever I can.

often i find myself asking the same questions. time flies..

You can be whatever or whoever you want to, but it has to be your Self.

and this is exactly what everyone hasn't come to realize yet. but when they do.. oh boy, when they do things will be a hell of a lot better.. (thats if they ever do)

But that's it, a choice. You must choose.

That is what the search for Self is. Choosing who you want to be, where you want to go, and how you will get there.

The destination is all the same, and there is but one path, but that path can be walked in many ways.

I am who I am.


'We are Spirits having a human awakening.'

[edit on 16-7-2007 by biggie smalls]

beautiful post biggie. flag and star from me

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
I believe that I am accountable for everything that occurs in my life.

No. You have many a time insulted your fellow posters behind the anonymity of your own computer screen.

No-one can knock you off your high horse here.

Thank you all for the responses.

SteveR: Care to share your feelings in more than one line . I'm interested to hear what you have to say in a little more in depth fashion. What kind of possibility of 'dramatic interrogation?' Please share.


Vipassana: We are all vibrating energies, why would it not resonate with you . Glad to see more are on the train than have been in the past. Its a one way train so don't be scared if it all of a sudden stops and you're in another dimension .


Benevolent Heretic: Great response, I wasn't expecting anyone to go that in depth . I'll have to respond to that later today. Thank you so much! I shall share as well. I need to eat some breakfast first though .


Dissention: Why would I want to emulate a 'notorious' street thug? I don't really, but when I joined ATS I was listening to a lot of his music and wanted to remain anonymous.

Well as all anonymity is out the window, its really quite worthless. However, I can't change my name nor do I want to. Who would know who I was?

'Hey guys this is Gavin.' Who? 'biggie smalls.' Oh.

I don't want to have to go through that again.

I do not emulate anyone. The main reason is that I wanted a random name to be honest and didn't take ATS that seriously in the beginning. I didn't expect staying for this long and enjoying myself so much.

Its become my outlet, both spiritually and emotionally at times.


shrunkensimon: Tesla is a great mind. I do not wish to be him, but can recognize greatness in a human's spirit when I see it.

Perhaps one day I shall invent something worthwhile as well...Till that day I still strive to find my Self. As I see all of you have already begun. .


antar: What is Dynamic meditation? Care to share?

I am aware of the I am meditation, but I don't really like it that much. I prefer to meditate on new things all the time. If meditation isn't a journey of self discovery, then what else could be?

I love experiencing new things and am always open. Share away!


The Phantom: Thank you for the response. Sharing is caring eh .

Well James it seems we are on the same path, although our paths may not cross anytime soon.



See you all down the road. God bless.

[edit on 16-7-2007 by biggie smalls]

Thank you for your response, biggie. I appreciate your candor. From reading your posts, you did not come across as a biggie smalls type person; much more enlightened and intelligent, actually. Again, I was not trying to be an ass. God Bless.

Biggie, I'm looking forward to reading what you've discovered about yourself in your search. I think it's a great way to get to know people.

Originally posted by SteveR
No. You have many a time insulted your fellow posters behind the anonymity of your own computer screen.

Excuse me? What does accountability have to do with your perception that I have insulted someone?

No-one can knock you off your high horse here.

I don't really know what you're talking about, but if you have something personal you'd like to say to me, please U2U and we can deal with it there instead of side-tracking biggie's thread.

Thanks.

He must have been talkin about me, Heretic.

Originally posted by biggie smalls
What kind of possibility of 'dramatic interrogation?' Please share.

Your questions. A wake up call to force them out.

Extrapolate this.

Originally posted by biggie smalls
Tesla is a great mind. I do not wish to be him, but can recognize greatness in a human's spirit when I see it.

Perhaps one day I shall invent something worthwhile as well...Till that day I still strive to find my Self. As I see all of you have already begun.

I would hope you wouldn't try to by him either. Id much rather have two great minds, instead of just two of the same Existence would not be complete without you biggie, and evidently ATS aswell. You obviously help/mean alot to people here.

I wish i could invent something worthwhile aswell. Helping humanity in the way Tesla did must be the greatest of honors! But even if we can't reach the level of giving Tesla did, we still can give, even if its in the form of posting on ATS, which is just as good if you think about it. You are contributing to someones path, and helping others wake up aswell!

Originally posted by biggie smalls
What is Dynamic meditation? Care to share?

I would also like to know, please explain antar.

the Who of who you are is encased in your DNA, which includes all your ancestors from both sides of your family (your heritage)....


you seem to be saying the 'Who' is defined by the choices made in the course of your stay on Earth.
That is not the 'Who'... those transient life path choices make the 'What' you are,
the path you are constantly choosing is changeable- and only reflects
a conscious decision (temporary life path) at some point in time....
it does not define the longterm 'Who' you are.



however, conventional wisdom tells us that looking at the Works
and Manner of one's conduct through a lifetime, is the report card
and the determination of just "Who" you are/were...

it's all a minor malestrom





[edit on 16-7-2007 by St Udio]

Question for you.
How come that sometimes you "know" someones name is something like "Bob", based on appearance?

Because you met many Bobs that looked that way?
Then how come their parents named them Bob?

[edit on 16/7/07 by -0mega-]

Here is an example of Dynamic meditation... in the second faze once I experienced the entire evolution of existence, at other times past lives came forward that were affecting my life now. It was always a surprise as to what may come up.
This is one of the most profoundly intense meditation techniques given to the planet. If you decide to do this meditation go as total as possible and the first stage of breathing is crucial to the second faze going very deep.
There will be points where you could even feel like you are going to die (you only breath out and as hard as you can)but it is at this point that you exhale even stronger! In the third faze I used to hit my theighs to unblock pent up or blocked lower energies to help them move into higher energies. And in the 'stop' faze you find that you are not your body, this will aid you in the search for 'Who you are". As the sweat trickles down for instance it is natural to be identified with your body and to stroke it away, dont, just observe instead, another very powerful part. I will try to find the meditation online for you, but you may have to purchase and down load I am not certain. It will be the best money you ever spend.

oop's! here is the link
video.google.com...