Sheryl Crow wants me to wipe my butt with one, count 'em, ONE square of toilet paper!

Originally posted by marg6043
It was a time in our history when toilet paper was a thing of the future...

This brings to mind an epic poem:

In days of old, when knights were bold
And toilets not invented
They left their load upon the road
And walked away contented

Roll Call Roll Call

Here's your roll for the month.

I know it's a crappy deal.

I think her statement was not that well thought out really...
Ive read many of your replies and agree, one square is quite absurd.
Think about all those people working with your food daily!!
UCK!!! I really want people in the all the restraunts to use as much TP as they see fit!! Every person that has ever worked for me in my kitchen knows they have to pass the health test, which clearly states, no picking your nose, and clean up after you use the bathroom!!!
I dont want some cook using one sqaure of TP and making my food, sure he can wash his hands for 10 mins under hot water, its still not proper..
So I am all for green and saving the world, recycle when possible, but there comes a point where more is better... Unless you like using your shower rags as TP? lots of washing, means use of more energy.. its not a win win here Ms. Crow...

Originally posted by Dr Love
One square of freakin' toilet paper!!!!!! What the hell does this whacko eat? Does she ever eat Mexican food? You know, I made a thread sometime back about how much Sheryl Crow's music sucks, man, she just sucks period! Take your juvenile lyrics writin' no talent having one square toilet paper wiping arse and just go way you freak!!

Peace

Or Indian food, a Johnny Cash - Burns like a Ring of Fire, she probably doesn't drink alot of Guinness either.

can you imagine if it was implemented strictly, heres your 1 paper before going to the toilet, a miserable light square paper where your finger goes right through!!! Lets hope they don't ban the soap at the toilets either!!

I agree with your sentiments regarding her music

If I plant a tree can I get a toilet paper credit? You know, like ALGORE, and John Edwards, are doing buying carbon credits?

Thanks for the advice Miss Crow, but I will continue to use enough toilet paper to get the job done. So BUTT out!

Originally posted by Ahabstar
I don't know for sure but I think she was talking about using one square when you do number 1 and the 3 squares during certain times a female has. As tapping and shaking are definately male habits. I will throw out the guess that she was talking more to women than men and her suggestion had little to do with bum wiping.

Should we ask her to clarify her position on toilet clean-up operations and maybe to do a televised demonstration to show how it can be acomplished with 1 sheet!!!!

I just can't resist this one.

How or Who should enforce this limitation?

I can see it now: Gov't grants to develope the tp counter/dispenser! What about the software that tracks if it's one of those "pesky occasions" when 2 or 3 squares are required. WOW Crow has really done it! She may have saved not only the Earth and all mankind (um because mankind has man in it she would like the term humankind- I'm flexable), but unemployment also! How you ask? Easy- every toilet will be required by UN world legislation* (I know we could get Nancy Palosi on this but let's go for the whole tamale) to be outfitted with the new TP/CD and software. Think of all the people you could employ in admin/marketing/sales/installation/maint/IT/manufacturing/enforcement/new wondrous levels of gov't, it's perfect!

The TP/CD's will be linked to a worldwide computer network that records and monitors square usage (or employ more people to be meter readers say "undocumented none national visitors" could all get keys to your houses and once or twice a month come on in for a reading(Americans won't do that job))! If you use more paper than the average world citizen then you can buy TP credits from a company Al Gore owns and not have to worry about your "TP footprint" or Carbon footprint ever again! To easy for you? Then you too can find a career with the Bathroom Enforcement Patrol! That's right Donald Rumsfeld has a great opportunity for you in the BEP! Learn how to kick in doors and stop those eco-polluters, the true terrorists of world!

Got to get back to work!

Love all the whacko's in the world.

"Remember half the people in the world are below average."- Casual One

*Yes I know the UN cannot pass world legislation but it's an "Elitist" wet dream come true.

Originally posted by lw2525
This brings to mind an epic poem:

In days of old, when knights were bold
And toilets not invented
They left their load upon the road
And walked away contented

You know who remembers the good Ole days better than me, Amuk, he should be in this thread, but he has not been around in long time.

He had some good stories

My father use to tell me that back in the days that's what the plantain and banana leaves were for, occurs they do stain your backside

Also the Yucca leaves were good also.

And yes it was a time when urinating in public was no against the law. now you will be arrested for indecent exposure and perversion.

Thanks for the poem.

[edit on 23-4-2007 by marg6043]

TextMeanwhile ,how much gas did this tree hugger use on her last world tour? It's bad for everybody to supposedly destroy the ozone with greenhouse emissions but for sweet little Sheryl and her ilk it is A.O.K. what a fruitcake

Bidets are a waste of water the answer is simple -

don't eat and don't #e.

Man's poo is a blight.

Originally posted by Dr Love
Sheryl Crow wants me to wipe my butt with one, count 'em, ONE square of toilet paper!

Use Both sides!!!

Originally posted by marg6043
Actually Apex, I was only 6 years old when my parents moved to a home with plumbing system . . .

I am not that old, but our island was not soo modernized when I was growing up in the 60s . . .

We had out houses and the plumbing was actually like you said "outside" and running down alongside the walkeways.

Also kotex and modess was a luxury and the women that could not afford it had to use rags and wash them after use.

Yes . . . life was easier and more . . . in touch with nature . . .

[edit on 23-4-2007 by marg6043]

That was then. This is now...

Lets see... In the 50's and the 60's we also had less efficient cars...

The Chinese were forced to smelt Iron/steel in there backyards since it was "by the people" which created an immense amount of pollution.

Above ground nuclear tests were conducted.

Leaded Gasoline.

Construction continued unabashed without considering the terrain or the spotted owl.

People dumped there oil down the nearest drain.

open use of Asbestos and DDT continued making future generations liable to have to clean it up.

Leaded paint...

Forests cut down were not replanted.

Lack of Novacaine...

Yeah... The good old days where so much healthier......


I am sorry to make it sound like a bash against you Marg. I do respect women and there rights. I do not accept it however when hypocrits walk up onto stage and make "suggestions"

Scuse me while I wipe my male-republican-arse on one of those "bib-sleeves" on Cheryl Crowes "special clothing line" so that she can make her dime in this process as well...

I mean COME ON!! Guys... How many have walked into a bathroom where the guy next to you is making that room smell like one lit match at the wrong time and he is in low earth orbit??? You want him to use as many sheets as necessary to CLOG that hole not dab at it...

When you look at the backgrounds of everyone in the United States you will find that we are the MOST environmentally conscience country in the world. Russia has the largest freshwater lake polluted to the point it is unlivable to alot of life... years to clean THAT up... China has massive pollution problems from unrestricted automobiles and factories that emit more pollution per FACTORY then the United States factories do in 6-months due to equipment that we DID have to produce due to environmental policies *That I do applaud* mainly because of the Acid Rain that was appearing in Canada. Thailand's traffic is SO BAD that spending 1-hour in Banghkok is like smoking 3-cartons of cigarettes and that is just particulate material.

The countries you NEED to protest against are in Africa, Asia, Middle East, Europe. When Australia is recieving the dust/pollution from Africa then you have to look at them not the USA.

Oh yeah... Just so you know. Alot of those places don't really use toilet paper either...

[edit on 23-4-2007 by AbitTweaked]

AbitTweaked

For 21 years of my life the food, meat, poultry, milk, herbs, vegetable were all fresh and home raised.

It was clean, nobody that I knew ever died from contaminated packaged food.

Life was better and it was not stress, money used to go a long way even when it was not a lot.

Mothers stay home and the father job was enough.

Yes this are the memories I will always cherish with me, because those days are for ever gone.

Our nation in the last 6 years has fallen behind when it come to environmental support of laws.

And yes . . . some outhouses used to have newspapers to wipe the "arse" rather than luxury paper at the time.

Our human waste now is so contaminated with medications, food preservatives and pollution that on its own it has become even hazardous to us that are the ones producing it.

You know.........there was a time I bought every thing Sheryl Crow I could find. I had an absolute crush on HER and her music. I even found a girlfriend that looked a lot like her after my divorce. Sheryl really uplifted me at a difficult time in my life with her lyrics and her sultry, yet raspy vocals.

........BUT! The day she opened her mouth and out spewed liberal nonsense instead of beautiful vocals, all of a sudden that mole that was once so cute sprouted several thick hairs and tripled in size, her breasts shrank (even more), her skin wrinkled, and I instantly had a vision of her taking off on a broom and casting evil spells upon her former fan base!

These people, and I'm referring to Sheryl, The Dixie Chicks, Bono, Alec Baldwin, and countless others, need to just SHUT UP and sing/act/whatever they do well--instead of becoming an activist for single-sheet buttwipe use, imaginary global warming (15 years ago these elite type were worried about the coming Ice Age), and Bush/America bashing!

I guess I responded to this thread because a small part of me misses her, before she turned to THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE!

i just like to place a damp towel over my bathtub side and straddle it when I am done taking a nice fat crap. I just lower myself onto the towel and thrust my hips back and forth onto said towel. When I am done I just simply hand up towel on towel rack to dry for my next use whether it be a shower or another crap

mmm She doesnt look too bad ^_^, I would do that for the....enviroment, ya the enviroment and stuff.

Just think about all the poor bastards in the world who don't even have one sheet of toilet paper... Imo, one sheet of toilet paper is better than no toilet paper at all...

Btw, some fresh good news from Kyiv, Ukraine. They're going to install 25 new toilets there soon.


But honestly, I do prefer to have the freedom of using as many sheets as I want/need.

[edit on 2007/4/24 by Hellmutt]

Well it seems that the “Chinese were the inventors of the toilet paper”. 50C.

The were made of bamboo. OUCH.

Romans 105 AD only wealthy Romans used “wool and rosewater with sponges at the end of a stick” now that was better.

Wealthy French used lace, wool and hemp.
In the middle ages was “hayballs and a scraper” OUCH.

Early Americans used rags, newsprint, paper from catalogs, corncobs “OUCH” and leaves.

Here is a link to the history of toilet paper.

/2jcg2p

Ms. Crow, respectfully as long as you will be the one to wipe for me, Ill be glad to follow your advice. Im not getting doodoo on my fingers.


Other then that...its a crappy idea. (No pun intended)