Everything I Believed is a Lie, Please Help Me

Originally posted by Doc Velocity

Originally posted by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal
I take offense to this. I talk about pure energy, the spectrum of light, and being feely and touchy... and I have experienced "survival". If you'd like to know, u2u me. We don't have to attack what we don't comprehend.

Why hide it in private messages? I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and nothing for which to apologize.

Nothing is neither hidden, feared, nor apologized, so don't hide, fear, and apologize for nothing, but that is your choice, this is advice. We don't have to hide nothing.

If it is okay with the mods, it does some what fit the title of this thread since we are sharing knowledge of life. I've been abused and beaten my whole life by my own family members, those being what you would call direct blood and all so those who I call my family... i.e. all of humanity, not only physically, mentally too, but mentality is physicality because thoughts are physical as is every thing that Exists and thoughts perpetuate perceptive physicality as does physical perception to thought.

I comprehend all of that metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, also, and I'm not attacking it. I lived in the lap of luxury for most of my early life, explored all manner of metaphysical and intellectual pursuits, wrote and spoke about it as if I was an enlightened one...

There is no such thing as metaphysical, there is no beyond the physical, let's be nice to each other. If we rid our selves of emotions that do not assist our growth, i.e. anger, hate, and those which are synonymous with the formerly mentioned then we can see Existence more clearly and for what it really is. Agreed, the word metaphysical and what it explains through its defining concepts is what could be referred to as mumbo jumbo, though to stray from pernicious behavior and animadversions is to break the cycle of cruelty. We can talk nicely and not name call before getting to know each other and/or concepts, it is healthy for relations. It is not about being an "en-lightened one", at least not for me. The prefix en comes from french, meaning not, so to be enlightened would mean to be not lightened, that is a brick wall for an entity in search of "light". Dark is light and light is dark. We're Omnified, that is, every thing. I have never lived in luxury, my internet will probably be turned off some time this month, hope fully not. I do not care about "material possessions" nor do I care about money.

Luxury is subjective to the perception. Luxury, to me, is love, happiness, caring, giving, intellect, peace, and amaranthine beauty.

And then I lost everything, down to the clothes on my back. I survived homeless for 2 years, with no family nor friends to call upon, never knowing where I was going to sleep or if I was going to ever eat again. At that point, I experienced the greatest clarity of thought, my perspective on life and living completely up-ended.

We have to know the dark to see the light and the light to see the dark. I'm glad you made it so that we can have this exchange of electronic verbiage. I respect what you have gone through.

I know now that we in the West are so far away from the true living of life that we couldn't find our way back with a roadmap. All of the ridiculous chants and rituals that we perform each day to get in touch with ourselves don't mean squat, my friend. It's the essential things — the eating, the sleeping, the waking up, the fighting for survival by whatever means for one more day — those items are the essence of living. It's why we're here.

Fighting for survival is not essence of living, fighting for survival is essence of suffering. We've been through a lot, but don't let it warp our reality. We're not here to suffer or fight unless we choose it to be so.

The rest of it — the psychological analysis, the search for deeper meaning, the enlightenment — is pure bunk. Nice hobbies, I suppose, for those with an abundance of time on their hands.

— Doc Velocity

Perception bows at the toes of emotion

[edit on 13-2-2007 by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal]

hey OP are you still with us?

a previous poster is right: you've reached a point along a path that very few reach.

The question is what are you gonna do about it?

Keep it simple, find a place and a purpose that suits you. Fall in love. Love's a wonderful thing if you can find it.

Don't listen to anyone peddling their solution, their 'religion' just find what works for you.

The world's history is full on individuals who have achieved much in the face of adversity.

in the words of Bill & Ted dude 'be excellent to each other'

To those who have been given much, much is required. A deeper doubt requires deeper faith. Believe...the glass is half full. These choices have been given by our eternal creator. If your tree of knowledge grows too great without roots to nourish itself it will wither away into dust. Seek a balance and return to your childlike state where goodness and wonder and richness fulfill your soul, and be thankful. Praise the fact it is not worse, you are still here. Keep swimming and reach the shore , find an island in your mind, and rebuild your own foundation you can stand upon, open up to the gift of life and drink of its positive energies, do not allow negative forces to suck your life force away. Obsessing on futility is manifesting evil forces into your reality that you must not allow a foothold. This is our wonderous gift....we can decide, it is whithin our power, to steer our own reality. Know there are many others who have been down the same road and found in the end a respite. Sharing love and believing in good are not just distant music, it is here now, and will be there if you just ask and believe. Make peace with forgiveness, and may the wind be at your back in your travels friend.

Hey ORB, well put.

External god, internal god, external love, internal love.....it all tastes like chicken to me! And I love chicken!

Orignally posted by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal
Fighting for survival is not essence of living, fighting for survival is essence of suffering. We've been through a lot, but don't let it warp our reality. We're not here to suffer or fight unless we choose it to be so.

You are living in a fantasy world, and the only reason you can say this is because of the sheltered reality you have been brought up in (and hope for). Try telling all of the people around the world who are right now dying of starvation that they aren't here to suffer unless they choose to. Try telling all of the children, who are born into the middle of a war zone, that they are not here to suffer or fight, unless they choose to. Your perception is that of a dreamer, a hopeful idealist, but not of a person who sees this world with clarity.

Originally posted by Doc Velocity
I know now that we in the West are so far away from the true living of life that we couldn't find our way back with a roadmap. All of the ridiculous chants and rituals that we perform each day to get in touch with ourselves don't mean squat, my friend. It's the essential things — the eating, the sleeping, the waking up, the fighting for survival by whatever means for one more day — those items are the essence of living. It's why we're here.

The rest of it — the psychological analysis, the search for deeper meaning, the enlightenment — is pure bunk. Nice hobbies, I suppose, for those with an abundance of time on their hands.

True, very true...I guess if this pure energy/spiritual awakening were so powerful, all of the hippies wouldn't have bombed out on drugs over a quarter century ago. If there were anything to it, they were the best shot...like you said, they didn't have to worry about survival, most of them sat around getting high and philosophizing (if you can call it that) at the expense of their parents and/or college educations. Maybe this "pure energy" is only found after the 5th or 6th bong hit of the night.


[edit on 13-2-2007 by Shoktek]

Originally posted by Shoktek

Originally posted by Doc Velocity

The rest of it — the psychological analysis, the search for deeper meaning, the enlightenment — is pure bunk. Nice hobbies, I suppose, for those with an abundance of time on their hands.

True, very true...I guess if this pure energy/spiritual awakening were so powerful, all of the hippies wouldn't have bombed out on drugs over a quarter century ago. If there were anything to it, they were the best shot...like you said, they didn't have to worry about survival, most of them sat around getting high and philosophizing (if you can call it that) at the expense of their parents and/or college educations. Maybe this "pure energy" is only found after the 5th or 6th bong hit of the night.

LOL< Well done, love the avitar of the guy hitting the bong, very fitting to your above post.. But lets take a moment for reflection shall we?

Someone comes to this board reaching out for a little support and help, obviously he's not finding it in other places.. And we get your Bong hit Doped up Drug using response above..

I guess I never fail to be amazed. 3 posts, lol, one constructive, two asking people why they are bringing negitive responses into this thread of reaching out. Do you have no shame mate?

*cough*cough* this forum is starting to smell like rotten apples.. Time to retreat from this "drama" and giggle at a few of you and your remarks from a distance.

Shadowflux, just stick with it, read though this thread, and get the general idea of whats being said here, and don't let these or any other rotten apples that come your way in life affect you doing whats right for you.

Nothing more humorous, then those that sit back and complain about things, but yet are always there contributing nothing but negitive energy/thoughts to the conversation. I just wonder how many rotten apples there are out there, for we seem to keep electing them too... go figure eh?

Goood Night ATS, its been real =)


[edit on 13-2-2007 by Lunchman]

Originally posted by Shoktek

Orignally posted by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal

You are living in a fantasy world,

We all are. Imagination is reality, some call imagination fantasy, may be it is fear of what could be, or may be they are yet to accept what they are blessed with, that blesses them, and that they bless.

and the only reason you can say this is because of the sheltered reality you have been brought up in (and hope for). Try telling all of the people around the world who are right now dying of starvation that they aren't here to suffer unless they choose to. Try telling all of the children, who are born into the middle of a war zone, that they are not here to suffer or fight, unless they choose to. Your perception is that of a dreamer, a hopeful idealist, but not of a person who sees this world with clarity.

I do not need to tell those people, they all ready know. Try telling those in power, they are the ones who need to hear the message. We are a collective whole as Humanity, we choose for them to suffer, we choose for us to suffer. I see the world with clarity, I see Existence with clarity.

True, very true...I guess if this pure energy/spiritual awakening were so powerful, all of the hippies wouldn't have bombed out on drugs over a quarter century ago. If there were anything to it, they were the best shot...like you said, they didn't have to worry about survival, most of them sat around getting high and philosophizing (if you can call it that) at the expense of their parents and/or college educations. Maybe this "pure energy" is only found after the 5th or 6th bong hit of the night.

It is not about power, power is finite. I recall the hippies being beaten and ridiculed for their loving and caring behavior. Again, we can have conversations whilst not having intents of degradation.

If you wish to explain to us how suffering is the essence of life then go for it, but try not to take on an attackive manner, please

[edit on 13-2-2007 by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal]

When you got rotten apples, make rotten apple pie!

When a person begins thinking in extremes, like the OP stated

"Everything I believed is a Lie" and another statement

"All of humanity has abused me" at that point your sight is no longer clear.

The personal disillusionment is a sad state of affairs, but I have found it to be temporary.

A flower still smells good, A smile from someone still makes me feel good.

Sunshine still feels good on my skin. And when all else fails, HOPE is there to revive you.

Originally posted by interestedalways
When a person begins thinking in extremes, like the OP stated

"Everything I believed is a Lie" and another statement

"All of humanity has abused me" at that point your sight is no longer clear.

The personal disillusionment is a sad state of affairs, but I have found it to be temporary.

A flower still smells good, A smile from someone still makes me feel good.

Sunshine still feels good on my skin. And when all else fails, HOPE is there to revive you.

I don't deny I'm delusional and live in a fantasy world, what is to deny? Denying is simply accepting, or acknowledging the Existence of some thing while trying to pretend that it does not Exist: denial is delusional, yet, denial is accepted through its very qualities, can't deny denial, so, call me delusional and living in a fantasy world, because we are

[edit on 13-2-2007 by LastOutfiniteVoiceEternal]

Originally posted by projectionist
When you got rotten apples, make rotten apple pie!

/chuckle =)
Thats kinda funny, but in reality i'd rather not poison someone else with my tainted rotten apple pie and because am smart enough not to eat it, I will not stoop to the level of delivering such a thing to my family, my friends, nor strangers. Best to not waste the energy cooking up a rotten apple pie, but rather just throw out the rotten apples, go get some fresh ones, and make something truely worth eating... Who's got the IceCream?

But that just comes back to the whole issue at hand here...

The Golden Rule is dead. There is no respect. as one can see within this brief 3 page thread. I think a famous person once said, the first sign of a failing society is the general lack of respect for the neighbors, strangers, etc, etc.

Tomorrrow, on ya way to work.. think about that when ya in traffic, and someone makes a mistake and needs room to get in your lane, and yet your first impulse is to step on the gas, because your better then him, and his line cutting, dope smoking bong hitting drug using peace loving person he or she maybe........ But what ever ya do, Don't forget, your special, and are on a higher class lvl because of your "experiences" then the rest of mankind...

Moral Justification?
Deny Ignorance?

Always keep a 10ft. no fly zone from the ceiling!

Enjoy the power of observation, insight and critical thinking.

Instead of being negative, re-analyze your situation. Find something new that you enjoy.

Get some 1 on 1 with your loved ones. Make a life for your self that you enjoy.

Your not special, get over your self. Forget your ego on this one, suck it up, take what you learned for what it is and get on with the rest of your lifes lessons.



- NSBiz

Shadowflux, and all--

I am not going to give you any Platitudes--none of them work, either; nor will I try to hand you a bunch of chit--you've had quite enough of it.

All I can tell you, Friend, is that I have been where you are right now. I lost my Innocence so many years ago I don't even remember when, exactly, that was. Truly, the biggest Bummer, and "downer", anyone can ever suffer occurs when one is MADE to realize that about everything they have ever been taught, Moraly or Practically, is a lot of BS.

It took me a long time and a lot of hard looking to turn that all around for myself. I gained from it, and that is because I ended up with a Question that REALLY needed and Answer-- and just for ME. That question was rather simple. " If these things are BS, the what isn't; where IS the Truth"?

I was young when that happened, Shadwflux; a teenager. Now, I'm 60.
Did I find what I was looking for? Yes, part of it--enough to keep me on the planet and interested in learning a lot more.

Let me clue you in on something. Absolutely NONE of what you are really looking for lies outside Your Self--it's all inside you. One place you can start is to listen to the Podcasts I have up here. They contain what I have found to be true from the time my own search began until now. You'll find them in the ATS podcast directory.

Other than that, send me a U2U if you like, and I'll gladly help you all that I can.

Peace, Friend

Bravo, Shadowflux!

You have reached the beginning of your real life. Few of us ever do.

So please accept my heartiest congratulations.

Now, having heaved up all that garbage, you are ready to learn just what reality is, just what the world is, and just who and what you are.

I know how you feel right now but all that will change. In time you will begin to consider yourself one of the luckiest people alive.

So far, you've been living in other people's reality. Welcome to your own.

I could give you all kinds of advice but I think you've had an overdose of that, so I won't bother. Though, for what it's worth, I heartily endorse the contributions of Shoktek and Doc Velocity on this thread.

Sadly, I share in your disillusionment, if not the pessimism it has brought with it, and I sincerely sympathize (and empathize.) Nothing I can think of to say could possibly give you any consolation, as everything you said has both merit and a foundation in the evidence around you.

The only three things I can even begin to imagine might help are the following three convictions I still (attempt to) cling to:

1) Disillusionment is preferable to delusion.

2) The fact that you feel so empty and care so much about the discoveries and revelations you've endured speaks volumes about you in my opinion, and perhaps the one thing one can ask oneself in your predicament that might bring some small solace is, "If nothing matters at all in the great scheme of things, why do I care that nothing matters?" The pain you feel because of your disillusionment says that things matter to you, whether they matter in the greater scheme of things of not. I choose to believe there is power, however miniscule and insignificant it may seem (or be,) in your caring.

3) You aren’t alone in your disillusionment, or in your caring.

I know those are probably paltry words following your heartfelt and thorough post, but it's all I could think of; that, and to say, “I, a total stranger, care, for whatever it is worth.”

hey, i am feeling like this since 3 or 4 years. but i would not want to burn it all to the ground but to put the power off the governments and back to the people.
they lead us into destruction. not a single government, but all of them.






--- "Hey, i don't want an implanted ID-card. What about you?"

Those who are suffering most horrible through starvation or war need our help. Let me put it this way, why are those people starving, why are people suffering? Those answers can be found in ATS and elsewhere on the web. The world is being run very cruelly and lets not use those who are suffering as a reason to back away from our own dissatisfaction and horror on how life plays out.

Look at it this way too. It was middle class women, people with education and time, that looked around and said "That’s not right! People are suffering!". They went into the street with the poor and tried to educate them on health. Those of them who were smarter tried to change the laws to help the poor. Meddling bored rich women? Or fighters for fairness and hope? Doesnt matter what you call them, it worked, the working class in the UK do not suffer like their forefathers, they are fed, clothed and educated.

Nothing has changed from the Charles Dickens era, except now the factories are in Thailand instead of our own doorstep.

Now its up to us, the Middle Class of Gaia, those of us who aren’t suffering daily harshness, those of us with time and education to fight for fairness and hope. There are more of us now and it is easier than it ever was; we have each other on the internet, a wealth of ideas and our belly is full.

face it...the world (earth) is a miserable hellhole where the rich and powerful get whatever they want at your expense. notice i said rich and powerful......not smart or intelligent.......I find most very wealthy people to be complete morons in regards to common sense and they also tend to not care in the least who they hurt to get a buck.

that is the no-good world we live in........the gov will always lie to you........idiots will control your life and get heavily rewarded for it.......and everyone will step on your neck to further themselves at everyone else's expense...........people are stupid, selfish and self-centered and do not deserve this planet.


where's a good 100 mile wide 100% iron asteriod when you need one ??

ShadowFlux,

It's tough to hear when someone has fallen into the darkness.

I'm not always one for platitudes, but here's one:

"The darkest hour is just before dawn"

While things seem at their bleakest now, you're about to come into an awakening. Just hold strong, and things will improve.

It's always good just to sit back and listen for a while...the answers come more easily that way.

Good luck.

Ok, Shadowflux ....... here's the magic-pill. It should have you off your sick-bed and feeling well again within seconds.

(1) Please read your OP

(2) Make note of all the times you said 'everyone', 'everybody'.

(3) Now you see it, don't you? Sweeping generalisations born of your disillusionment. You're an ' all or nothing' type. For you, it's black or white. That's ok. Many of us are similarly melodramatic on occasion.

(4) Make a mental note to eliminate 'everyone' and 'everybody' from your vocabulary. It's necessary for maturity.

(5) Now return to your OP and substitute words such as 'many' or 'some' in place of 'everybody' and 'everyone'.

(6) Now re-read your OP (with 'many' or 'some' inserted in place of 'everyone', 'everybody'.)

(7) See what a difference it makes? E.g.:- ' Some people only care about themselves.' -- ' Many people let others down.' -- ' Many people, regardless of their seeming ruthlessness, nevertheless have an element of goodness within them.' -- ' Some people betray your trust.' etc.

So sure, 'some' people have disillusioned you, shredded your ideals.

But 'many' have not, right ?

Ok. Shadowflux: you know what they say, don't you? Keep your face to the sun and let the shadows fall behind you.'

Or ...... in more modern parlance, ' concentrate on the positive'

Or as was popular last decade (but still good advice) When the going gets tough, the tough get going'.

Now some proof of the Pudding:

A man, not a strong swimmer, not a rich man, not a man who believes himself to be brave -- just a man who enjoys his humble life and who loves his wife and children and friends and dog. He jumps into a river because he sees a man and his son in difficulties in the water after falling from their boat. He saves them both. In the process he loses his own life. Yeah? You've read news articles like that, I'm sure, or seen them on the tv-news.

What did that humble man do, apart from sacrifice his life for two total strangers?

What that man did, Shadowflux, was disprove your OP. So tonight, when you say your prayers, say " Thank you Man, for handing my ideals and hope back to me". And you might even feel so grateful, you also say: "Thank you God, for proving me wrong; for creating that heroic, ordinary man who gave his life for others with NO thought of reward, and in doing so, proved to me that I was wrong to be so disillusioned and pessimistic about this world and its inhabitants. "

You'll be feeling pretty good then, and then you'll remember all those things you'd forgotten when you wrote your OP. You'll remember the fire-men (and hundreds of others) who charged into those burning towers on 9/11 to save people they didn't know.

You'll remember all those news items you'd forgotten, about ordinary folk who put their lives on the line (and sometimes lost them) to save others: in supermarket car-parks, on river-banks, during armed hold-ups and domestic disputes.

You'll remember those doctors and nurses who walked with only their medical bag for protection, into war-zones, as bullets were flying past their ears.

You'll remember all those people with nothing to give the less fortunate, so they gave the shirts off their backs, or the food from their own plate.

You'll remember the shy, frightened little people who nevertheless drove themselves to get up on witness stands and denounce killers and members of powerful organised gangs, in order justice would be done -- even though they knew they were risking their lives and everything they had.

There's a lot you'll begin to remember, once the black drapes fall away from your mind and memory.

Were these largely unsung heroes blissfully ignorant of the dangers to themselves? Had they never felt the pain of betrayal and disillusionment?
That would be a bit of a 'coincidence', wouldn't it --- if all the world's heroes just happened to be unthinking dolts who'd never felt pain or misfortune?

Ok. I think you're getting the picture now and can take it from here on your own.

You've had the dream. You've lost the dream. That was all necessary. It had to happen to you first. You can see that now, can't you? After all, you can't fight the good fight until you've learned to recognise what is NOT good.

Now it's time to dust yourself off and get back into life and give a hand to all those others who've been where you are and who are STILL fighting the good fight, to make this place better. They need all the help they can get.

Finally, it's worth remembering that if you ate today and had clean water to drink and have a home and are NOT in literal fear of your life right now ---------- then you are one of the lucky 8% of the world's population !!
That's right. 92% are doing it harder than you.

Hope you feel better now :-)