Can anyone explain this - Bizzare military humor?

I hope this is the right forum -

I generally regard the majority of conspiracy as being purely subjective, and I'm generally a very rational and objective person.

I try to see every side on an issue before jumping to any conclusions. I'm at a loss on this one, since it's happening to me.

If anyone can give me some insight (or possible leads) on a few of these things I have noticed and experienced over the last decade, I would be most appreciative.

I've nearly exhausted my resources with information available over the internet on these issues.

I have found myself going through periods every couple of months where I experience three days of insomnia and trance like state of being where all sorts of things happen that are better suited for a psychological comedy with conspiracy undertones than anything else I can describe...

I have moved several times, and I keep running into a continuation of this general theme everywhere I go, although it seems to vary from place to place and town to town in how it maifests itself.

Upon my most recent move, i found myself in another trance state going to my local library and looking up information I had no previous knowledge of almost unconciously - mainly MKULTRA, Project Monarch, and Illuminati conspiracy.

These are not subjects I have ever had prior knowledge of before any of these events occured, and I still can't explain how I got in touch with the majority of that subject matter. The best way to describe it is like being on auto-pilot, looking out from within one's own head.

My question is this - is it possible I was programmed early as a child as some sort of program, and it's only recently begun to awaken itself within me? Like a delayed reaction of sort?

Could this possibly be related to how we are progressing as a nation? Am I linked into something that's going on because of my military upbringing? I was tested very early in life for all sorts of metal aptitudes and predispositions.

Why do I find myself standing in my kitchen window telepathically communicating with Federal agents and making jokes in the ealry stages of these episodes, and wind up turning into some sort of deadpan militant solider later on? Is this because they're testing my willpower on several fronts? Is this a common tactic - early on, light and easy, then gradually sink the heavy stuff in?

I'm a peace loving person, but lately I've found myself becoming more militant on several issues - to the point I feel concerned for my mental well being.

I've tried seeing several psychologists, but I find myself unwilling and unable to coherently bring up the subject with any of them when the time is allowed for it.

This is my first post on a forum in attempts to find possible leads on what I may be experiencing, and I would value any leads - especially from any military personnel who may have experienced similar "weirdness" when not on active duty.

A lot of what I deal with involves the type of humor that most cilivilans don't get or react to entirely too seriously - I've found myself being told by invisible voices that my "tanker truck of weapons grade plutonium" just arrived and gone to my kitchen window to see a tanker truck parked out in the adjacent parking lot!

Am I going crazy? Or does MKULTRA/MONARCH (if it is that) have a sick sense of humor?

It's not all fun and games though - I've scared my roomate several times when he's walked in a seen me in what he describes as "sitting in the corner, looking like you're ready to kill someone". (I'm immobile during these times, almost like I'm waiting for a trigger to set me into action - a highly concentrated trace state.)

There is a wealth of other subtle nuances that I can't post in this intial post, feel free to question me on anything you would like clarification on.

This is a serious post, even though some of the facts are utterly bizzare....





[edit on 1-9-2006 by 23_PAPERCLIPS]

Just wanted to add that some of what I have been through is downright disturbing, but I would prefer to add those details later on if this thread gives way to any serious issues despite the levity of the intial post.

I'm reluctant to post some of the more serious things I have been through. In fact, downright terrified to write some of those things down on a public forum.

Just wary to getting too heavy too quickly.

I hope you understand.

The gov't has loosely been associated with mind control for some time. '___' is often linked to certain groups' attempt at mind provocation.
There was once a game called "Psi-Ops" that was rumored to have been a training mode, or at least how to deal with such events.

As far as being programmed, it would require a large amount of reinforcing patterns that you should be able to tap. Just tell yourself you find the thoughts invasive, pervasive, and offensive.

I came across this Psi-Ops game you mentioned a last year - it coincided with an attempt I had to try and make sense of everything that was happening back then by writing a fictional scenario out of it all.

When I happened across the game, I dropped the project entirely.

I've gotten better at blocking the prompts out over the past year.

The problem is - there are times I actually ENJOY being in this altered state at times - when there's light humor involved and I can pretty much run the show.

I don't like having it resurface in public, and it always does on some level.

Something triggers me - a comment, a distasteful look in my direction with and unpleasant and judgemental thought attached to it and I get very militant, very fast.

I don't act on my aggressions, but my mind goes places very quickly and I'm starting to enjoy some of the things it has been offering up as solutions to the problems.

I don't own any weapons, but I really enjoy the thought of a Military State coming to power and literally rounding up these thought offenders and lobotomizing them.

Or worse.

Does this Project Paperclip attempt to turn people into Nazi's?

Because I'm learning some things about me I find disturbing.

Hi Paperclips... if you want to research thought control issues, you've come to a good place. Browsing through old threads will give you a variety of topics and links to wander through.

Can I just ask why you chose the prefix "23"?

Sure, Rich - It's a number that has followed me around since 1987 in several different personal veins. I also am highly attracted to the curavature of the number itself. I suppose it's mostly personal aesthetics.

And I have browsed through the forum to the best of my ability - my ability to recall relevant keywords is a little off the mark at the moment, and I was hoping participation in a forum might help re-tune my mind to the issue. It's been on the back burner for quite a while now.

[edit on 1-9-2006 by 23_PAPERCLIPS]

There are a few more thing I feel might be of relevance:

I have been having a lot of thoughts/impressions of Nazi Germany (as well as unexplainable coincidences within this genre) although I am not anti-semetic in any way, shape of form.

One reason I am posting here is that this mentality and line of thought-occurances has been at an all time high and more serious than ever before.

Am it possible I'm embracing a line of unhealthy reasoning or association, or it's it all part of some sort of guided program (such as or related to Paperclip).

Any insight at all would be most appreciated, as this is an uncomfortable subject for me when not completely immersed in an episode.

Thanks again for your time.

[edit on 1-9-2006 by 23_PAPERCLIPS]

I for one would be interested in a more detailed accouny of your experiences.

As a side note, have you come across the writings of Robert Anton Wilson?

R.A. Wilson - the name sounds familiar, but I can't place ever having read any of his works. I'm very odd when I read books, as I tend to skim through the majority of them until I land on something that rings true for me. My father is the same way, although trained as a speed reader. I came about it naturally, without training and only learned about the technique after the fact. If you can recommend a good book by Wilson, I'll pick one up at first opportunity.

As far as personal experience goes - most of it has been hyper accelerated and deals primarily with role-playing scenarios. I'm not just visualizing these scenarios, but actually acting them out while the storyline moves forward.

I've walked in the shoes of a Native American viewing the modern world, the boots of a German soldier on the Modern American Front, and an alien in human form observing the world around me. Same themes, different characters. It seems to focus on and center around intellegence gathering, personal reflections on the modern landscape, and being outside the norm of conventional day to day routine.

I'll be the first to admit a lot of these scenarios really capitalizes off my inquisitive and observant behavior. I was found to have a photographic memory when I was younger, though these days it seems to be buried outside my concious mind.

I also have a high artistic/creative aptitude, and my time spend wandering through these scenarios (approximately 10 years conventional time) were spent in cafes when not walking, writing down my thoughts.

Unfortunately, in 2000, I experienced a strange series of events that found me acting out again, but this time, without my personal consent - and I ended up taking the majority of my journals, notes and observations to the corner in a trashbag early in the morning for someone to collect. I have no idea who or what precipitated this event, but I remember being called outside one night by the prompts and seeing a black car with nothing visible but a red light in the console dash. I heard the words "get in" inside my head, and flat out refused - convinced I would never be seen or heard from again if I did so.

A few months later I found myself taking a road trip to visit my parents and falling into a whole new genre of games and role playing scenarios while driving. I was able to improvise fairly well, but there was a point where some things started to slip otside of my field of knowledge and experience and I was unable to follow through with some of the prompts due to personal ethical and moral considerations.

During these experiences, I never speak directly of them when around other people, though on occassion I have met people who have a look in their eyes that almost silently conveys that they are in on the game, and their speech sometimes hints at the underlying scenario. I've never addressed these issues directly with any of them, as the subject feels rather taboo during these times. It would be like shattering the illusion, and my curiosity is so strong I'm too eager to see how things will play out during these times.

Recently, (within the past 5 years) the tone of these experiences has changed dramatically - almost as if the training phase has been moved up to a higher level. The best I can compare it to is like watching a host of fantasy movies geared towards children and then suddenly finding yourself watching heavy psychological thrillers or intense dramas.

Ever since this war abroad started, the military humor has been counterbalanced by a very serious and almost frightening shadow - which has gained in strength every passing year. I've been wondering if something of this nature is not inherent to the Monarch/Paperclip agendas because so much of it has a National Socialist agenda, deals with the concept of a military state and a world where a large percentage of citizens are trained soldiers, watchers, reporters and - for lack of a better term - social monitors.

To chance at risk: You didn't develop any type of weapon did you? (Believe it or not, such things happen).
There used to be rumor of a program where rogue entities (deemed enemy of the state) were to be dealt with by being exemplified through the use of mind altering substances. This was widely accepted as fact, until the results proved too inefficient at maintaining dignity.
The term "loose cannon" pops in my head.

Never developed any weapon that I am aware of, lol.

Aside from all this weirdness, I'm a complete pacisfist and don't own any weapons whatsoever.

During this time I was more involved in making music than anything else, and unless a Custom Telecaster is deemed dangerous these days I don't know what to say.

I did write some rather intense music during this time.

Why would you think project paperclip was trying to turn everyone into nazis?

It was about cleaning up the files of certain german scientists before it got to the desk of the higher ups so they could be brought to the us to work with. We got something like 600-800. The russians got 2000-2300, because of course they didnt care about their records and what atrocities they did during the war.

Its got nothing to do with turning people into nazis.. Dont really understand your reasoning on that one. Go back and check your research, that particular project wasnt mkultra if im not mistaken. but i could be wrong.

Paperclip was about rather more than that. It was also used to bring Nazis to South America where their anti-Communist attitudes and counterinsurgency skills were used to keep the locals subservient to US interests. Chomsky has a good selection of examples but I'm having trouble finding anything online. The best I can do after several minutes searching is a reference to the Gehlen intelligence operation run by an ex-Nazi to provide intelligence on Soviet activities in Eastern Europe, which isn't quite what I want. I'm amazed - I'm sure there's a site out there that has the information I want but I can't refine my search well enough.

23_Paperclips: you might have a look at the Illuminatus! trilogy written by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea. It could help. Interesting reading thus far, thank you for your posts.

Did a search on "mind control experiment" and came up with:

www.wanttoknow.info...

I didn't read all of the page, but I think that the books mentioned and the CD material may be of interest to anyone thinking they are participants.
I feel mind control now is in the form of Ritalin and whatnot, and is accepted as mainstream "science". My views, and I'll throw in a good "think before you leap" statement.

Intriguing. You've gained both my interest and concern, I'll help you in any way I can.

I notice, however, a distinct lack of any kinds of examples of these experiences. If you supplied some, it would be a lot easier to understand you and what you're going through.

Originally posted by 23_PAPERCLIPS

The problem is - there are times I actually ENJOY being in this altered state at times - when there's light humor involved and I can pretty much run the show.

I don't like having it resurface in public, and it always does on some level.

Something triggers me - a comment, a distasteful look in my direction with and unpleasant and judgemental thought attached to it and I get very militant, very fast.

I don't act on my aggressions, but my mind goes places very quickly and I'm starting to enjoy some of the things it has been offering up as solutions to the problems.

I don't own any weapons, but I really enjoy the thought of a Military State coming to power and literally rounding up these thought offenders and lobotomizing them.


Because I'm learning some things about me I find disturbing.

I'm going to try and put this as gently as possible...
What you are describing here is very similar to symptoms of many schizophrenia patients. Really, you should keep seeking counseling before you get too deep into this.

Originally posted by 23_PAPERCLIPS

I've nearly exhausted my resources with information available over the internet on these issues.

Now that is not fair, coming to ATS as nearly a last resort. I'll give it a shot.

I have found myself going through periods every couple of months where I experience three days of insomnia and trance like state of being where all sorts of things happen that are better suited for a psychological comedy with conspiracy undertones than anything else I can describe...

I'm curious of your age? Perhaps, just perhaps, your subconscious is trying to "defrag" your original computer (your brain). And, as for the "all sorts of things happening", well this may be a bi-product of your brain re-shuffling data and how your mind incorporates new stimuli and incoming information to better fit inside your neuro-net. In other words your brain is making connections between brain cells where before you were not consciously aware of the similarities between events that you thought were isolated from eachother, but now your brain is trying to condition your brain to be more effective in the way it stores information.

I have moved several times, and I keep running into a continuation of this general theme everywhere I go, although it seems to vary from place to place and town to town in how it maifests itself.

This happens to many people, but most cannot put it into words, or are in a conscious state of denial. There is a scientific and spiritual answer to the phenomenon you describe, and you most certainly are not the only one to endure such changes in consciousness. Just as it takes time to defrag your computer, it takes time to defrag your mind and make correlations between events that previously you did not consider that they had anything in common whatsoever.

Upon my most recent move, i found myself in another trance state going to my local library and looking up information I had no previous knowledge of almost unconciously - mainly MKULTRA, Project Monarch, and Illuminati conspiracy.

the word unconciously is key here.

Have you ever been to a club or party where there are many conversations going on at the same time, and the music is playing semi-loud? Have you been in such circumstances and then engaged in a conversation? After a time you become so focussed on the conversation with the individual that everything else gets "blocked out"?

Now, what happened that you only heard the words coming from the individual you were talking to? Did your ears shut off the sound from every other conversation you were not involved in, and the music? No, i don't think this is the case.

All sensory input first gets introduced to your mind via your subconscious. All stimuli from all your experiences is first delivered to your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind fires off 400,000,000,000 sparks of electricity between brain cells per second (which is a thought, or rather an individaul bit of info), while your conscious mind only integrates 2,000 bits of information per second.

My point is out of all your accumilated experiences (everything your senses have delived to your brain) you may be only consciously aware of 0.000000002% of all of it.

By going to the library, you may have been driven by your subconscious, which may indeed know more than you consciously do, and your subconscious i am willing to bet, has a secret for you, and the only thing that can keep it from you is your own conscious fears, and your subconscious fears as well.

These are not subjects I have ever had prior knowledge of before any of these events occured, and I still can't explain how I got in touch with the majority of that subject matter. The best way to describe it is like being on auto-pilot, looking out from within one's own head.

You are not the first to experience this, and hopefully not the last.

My question is this - is it possible I was programmed early as a child as some sort of program, and it's only recently begun to awaken itself within me? Like a delayed reaction of sort?

It may be merely genetics, and the way the human mind works in accordance with the "Law of Association"

That is my opinion, which i know parrallels main stream science, as well as many other disciplines, however the people trying to describe what it is they are trying to convey are only capable of describing the phenomenon with words they are familiar with, and descriptions which existed in their environment at the time.

I joined the Air Force over 8 years ago, and am still Active Duty.

23_Paperclips, you might be interested to know that you are not the only person to have recognized this 23 phenomenon... run a search on ATS and you'll find some interesting threads on the subject.

Keep us posted on any new insights or developments in your situation; we are listening.

Sorry about the delay in answering - I had to run out of town unexpectedly to visit a sick relative. I'll do my best to catch up:

I'm curious of your age? Perhaps, just perhaps, your subconscious is trying to "defrag" your original computer (your brain). And, as for the "all sorts of things happening", well this may be a bi-product of your brain re-shuffling data and how your mind incorporates new stimuli and incoming information to better fit inside your neuro-net.

ENTIRELY POSSIBLE. I recently turned 30, and all these experiences began about the age of 23. I've wondered if it was just a natural part of the coming-of-age and trying to settle down into an adult routine. But why this military slant? I'm ineligible for service!

What you are describing here is very similar to symptoms of many schizophrenia patients. Really, you should keep seeking counseling before you get too deep into this.

At age 25, I had recently settled down in a major metropolitan area to pursue my artistic endeavors and suffered a nervous breakdown after three days of high creativity and no sleep. I was hearing voices, seeing things that weren't there, etc. - all the signs of sleep deprivation.

I got into an altercation with one of my housemates and when the police arrived I collapsed into an inconsolable mess, crying and unable to look at anyone. They altered the paramedics, who placed me under sedation and my last memory was of reciting my name and social security number over and over again. I was taken to the hospital, where I was under observation for an entire month.

While I was there, I experienced no odd effects (no voices, hallucinations, etc.) while in the lower level ward. This was the area for people with personality disorders and people who had little to no social skills. I was transfered to the higher level within two weeks where I enjoyed greater freedoms and had more interesting people to associate with.

Here, even under anti-psychotic medication - I began experiencing the phenomenon of non-verbal communications, with patients and staff alike, and it was treated as though nothing was out of the ordinary. I mentioned this phenomenon to my psychologist, who seemed open to the possibility of such abilities being latent within the archaic areas of the brain. In fact, I was never once told I was crazy, schizophrenic or anything else during my stay there.

My inquiries were handled as a matter of subjective science, and I was treated with respect. My follow up sessions with my psychologist proved fruitful in that he was well read on a variety of neo-mystical experiences and seemed genuinely interested in my experiences. He even went so far as to recommend writings by Crowley (I can't follow Cowley's line of reasoning - it's bit excessive for me) and work with me in depth to some aspects of what I was dealing with in regards to non-verbal communications.

This is NOT to suggest that I can "read minds". I'm extremely empathic by nature, and have always been able to read a persons body language and other unspoken cues.

Unfortunately, I had to move out of the area due to personal finances and a host of extenuating circumstances and I lost contact with the only psychologist who was able to listen to what I was going through, and offer insight instead of just nodding and scribbling diagnostic guesses on his notepad.

Since relocating, I have had excessive trouble finding a psychologist I feel I can open up to and discuss things objectively. I'm on an extremely limited budget, unable to hold a job because I am too sensitive for the normal day to day, and because I can lapse into this unhealthy trance like state at a moments notice.

I'll do my best to contribute details as they come, but this is difficult for me to talk about because if I focus too intently for long periods of time, I tend to regress into the undesirable states of mind I'm mentioned previous.

(continued)

This happens to many people, but most cannot put it into words, or are in a conscious state of denial. There is a scientific and spiritual answer to the phenomenon you describe, and you most certainly are not the only one to endure such changes in consciousness.

AGAIN, I AGREE. The problem being that I am no longer running into the same types of people I usually associate with. In fact, I'm more of less on my own here.

No Guides, no Teachers so to speak. Very little in the way of literature that fuels my spiritual and objective side in the area. A very small town, in a very poor state. I'm here because it's the only place I can afford to live for the time being.

I have seriously though about speaking to a military psychologist, but I am unsure how to broach the matter. I am no longer technically a dependant, yet I am still very much a child in many respects.

And please forgive me for being somewhat rambling this time around - my personal life is exceedingly chaotic right now. I just got back from a road trip with a mother in law that shot my objective and rational mind to hell.

[edit on 5-9-2006 by 23_PAPERCLIPS]