Real US Military Warning Info...

These are pretty funny, however claymores don't say "don't eat explosives". they do say "this side toward enemy"

Originally posted by intelgurl
"Aim towards the Enemy." -Instruction printed on U.S. Army Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -U.S.A.F. Literature.

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantryman's Journal

"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." -U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." -Infantryman's Journal

"Tracers work both ways." -U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five-second fuses! only last three seconds." -Infantryman's Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." --David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." -Infantryman's Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." -Anon Naval brass

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."

Good find, you seem to always come up with some really great info. Thanks

great post intelgurl, as always. Just re this thread,
another great source of hilarious, but true
war story's is spike milligan. He served as an
artillery-man in ww2.




"You're a spy"
"I'm not a spy, I'm a shepherd"
"Ah! A shepherd's pie!""


Then came the war. North Africa, promoted in the field (they wouldn't let me indoors). Mentioned in dispatches: nothing positive. Just mentioned." - Spike on his army career.



"We were sitting around at home when a man called Chamberlain who did Prime Minister impressions came on the radio and said we were at war with Germany. I loved that "we".
end quote


[Edited on 6-2-2004 by sanctum]

Some more maintenance things:

Defect: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.
Action: Fresh seat cushion on order.

Defect: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
Action: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
Action: Pilot removed from aircraft.

Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative.
Action: Wound clock.

Defect: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
Action: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild.
Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.
Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.

Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.
Action: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.

Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment.
Action: Returned little hammer to man in #2 engine.

Defect: Flight attendant cold at altitude.
Action: Ground checks OK.

Defect: 3 roaches in cabin.
Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

Defect: Weather radar went ape!
Action: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!

Damn, I am almost in tears from laughing at work over these. Some of them I had heard, but working in the aviation industry I sure can relate...thanks.