Ask... El Pollo Diablo

Oh great El Pollo Diablo-many thanks for your wisdom! Wise chickens are hard to come by these days!

Originally posted by hogtie
Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Firsts, you must finds the Jades Monkeys. After thats, you will be needings 11 paperclips, a soggy cigars, and a jars of oranges marmelade. Gather these things and I can being helps to yous. Good lucks!

You has a spirit guides, and her names is... Emma Goldman. This is giving insights to your tendencies towards the anti-authoritariansisms behaviors. Emmas is a pretty cool persons, and has lots of zeals for her jobs, but she cans gets carrieds away. If you ever feel the urges to hits someones on the heads because of unjustnesses, takes a deep breath and asks Emmas to tones it down a bits and to gives you some advices that will helps to advance your selfs, as well as keeps you out of the jails.

For dreams, whiles I cans be helping you, yours is such twisted visions I feels I must calls upon the helps of persons being specialists, mainly being my friends Gustav. He has done much of the works in dreamses, archetypeses, and neurosises."

"Gut day, Mr. Euwhavajab. You have a very, very ingtereztink brain in zer, inzide your noggin. I vould have to zay zat ze dinozaurs chazing ze old ladiez iz indicative of your own dizazociation from ze troublezome neighborz living next door. Try to remember to conciously convront your fruztrations vit zem, inztead of allowing your zhadow to become dominant. Become vamiliar vith your anima, and az it iz being ze veminine, may help you conztruct better relationzhips vith your neighbors. Iv zees does not vork, und ze dreamz continue, you may need to call ze local authoritiez and vile a noize complaint."

"Thanks yous, Gustav. There you is having it, euwhavajab. Your dreamses means you are crazys. I thinks. I don't know. Gustavs has this accents that I can barely be understandings. Good lucks, crazy persons. Thank you. Come again."

[edit on 8/15/2006 by hogtie]

What and where is the Jade Monkey(s)?

How can I talk to my spirit guide?

Is the Necronomicon a work of fiction?

Dearest El Pollo Diablo, what's the best way to "work a room" at a social or business event? I've never been really good at these type of things.

Originally posted by euwhajavb

What and where is the Jade Monkey(s)?

How can I talk to my spirit guide?

Is the Necronomicon a work of fiction?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"I can nots tell you any mores abouts the Jades Monkey. This is being parts of the quest for which prepares you for the answers that you seeks. I will gives you a hints though: it is one parts ornamental jewelrys, one parts vegitables, and two parts inner voyages.

It is not necessary to talks directly to your guides of the spirits. They is there when you is in needs, and always keeping tabses. If you desires to talks to thems, just intends the thoughts to thems. If you really wants to gets Emma's attentions, just thinks "governments bastards!" very loudlys. Recieving messages can be justs as subtles as having intuitions, but do nots confuse them withs other messages from your bodys. If you feels hungrys, you is probably just hungrys. Emma is not telling yous to fight hungers.

The Necronomicon is a devices of pulp fictions based on various differents culturals and religious superstitions goings back throught the many of years. H.P. hads some very goods devices for creatings the literary settings, though his actual techniques of the writings leaves somewhat to be desireds. But you have several real libro de los muertoseses. The Egyptians, Tibetans, and the Dutcheses, which is the ones that you needs. Oops. I thinks I gives somethings away. Oh wells. The Egyptians and Tibetans books of the deads is more of a guides to the passings from the worlds of the livings into the realm of the nexts. The Boek van de Doden deals more withs the fashions and footwears of the deads. I hopes that is helpings.

Thank you. Come again."

El Pollo Diablo...yoo hoo...

Ginger or Mary Anne?

Oh, I checked...all the alter boys were present and accounted for. I tried the swaaave method this weekend, and eh...results were mixed. Let's you know overs the nexts weeks if things improves on thats front.

Originally posted by maria_stardust
Dearest El Pollo Diablo, what's the best way to "work a room" at a social or business event? I've never been really good at these type of things.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Social graces is such pains in the back sides, but there is some steps of basicness that can gets you though the crucibles. First of alls, combine you winnings of smiles with the eye contacts. Be the actives listeners with slights physical reactions likes the eyebrows raises, head tilts and nodses. Most of alls, use that greats laughs that you has.

There is also the arts of touches. For a first times meets, when a handshakes is being called for, place your other hands gently on tops of the hand of your opposites. A nice, warms two-hands shakes says 'what pleasures to meets you'. If it is someones you has mets before, lightlys touch the sides of the arm. Contacts is very powerfuls. Humans touch is very warmings and intimates. Watch the politicianses and you will sees how theys do this all the times. One thing of great importants, try to keep your hands warms. If you shakes or touches with cold hands, they may thinks you is deads. And not knowings if they has been having traumatic experiences with the deads persons befores, this is somewhat of a gambles.

Most lastlys and importants, when you mingles, leaves them wantings more. This is an arts of knowing the timings. At the height of the conversations make compliments about nice meetings and excuses yourselfs to mingles more. Everyones will be doing the saying of 'who was that creatures of delight?'

Thank you. Come again.

Originally posted by seagull
El Pollo Diablo...yoo hoo...

Ginger or Mary Anne?

Oh, I checked...all the alter boys were present and accounted for. I tried the swaaave method this weekend, and eh...results were mixed. Let's you know overs the nexts weeks if things improves on thats front.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Mary Annes, and I'll tell you whys. Hollywood gals has a flairs for the dramatics, and can be moody and tempermentals. Plus, there is lots of mes mes mes. Mary Annes on the other hands, she is downs to earths with a wild side just under the surfaces. Sure Ginger has the red hairs, but Mary Annes has the fires in the eyes.

Good newses about the altar boyses. They has enough troubles keeping from catching their robeses on fires. They don't needs the other problems.

Now that you is goings the Steve McQueen routes, make sure to reads through my tips to maria_stardusts. Makes the light physical contacts that says, 'I am here, sensetives, quietly strongs, yet non threatenings'. Let thems do the speakings and you the listenings. And smiles a lots. Lets them knows that you is the flexibles iron rocks of compassions: unbreakable, but a little bendys. Be confidents! Things will be on the moving of upwards. I sees it clearly.

Thank you . Come again."


[edit on 8/16/2006 by hogtie]

Double prediction removed.

[edit on 8/16/2006 by hogtie]

Oh great one I don't understand your response. Why would I be in charlestown as a reward for my work when I work in Washington State? It seems a long way to travel. But thanks for letting me know that the man of my dreams would in fact have a brain that evidently works as I couldn't handle one that didn't have a brain. Thanks for all your help.

Originally posted by gallopinghordes
Oh great one I don't understand your response. Why would I be in charlestown as a reward for my work when I work in Washington State? It seems a long way to travel. But thanks for letting me know that the man of my dreams would in fact have a brain that evidently works as I couldn't handle one that didn't have a brain. Thanks for all your help.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

" 'Whys, anybodys can has a brains. That's is beings a very mediocres commoditys. Every pusillanimousieses of creatures thats is crawlings on Earths or is slinkings throughs the slimy seas has a brains. Backs wheres I am come from, wes has universities, seats of greats learnings, where mens gos to becomes the greats thinkers. And whens they comes the outs, they is thinkings deeps thoughts and with no more brainses than you has. But theys has one things you has no gots: a diplomas.' Doesn't you loves the Wizards of the Ozzes?

The allures of Bostons is not somethings that cans be diminisheds over the distances. You will be feelings the cross-continentals pulls of the places of Kennedys and the clams chowders. And it is not your jobs itselfs that is sendings you, but you mays be rewardings yourselfs for your hard works. And what betters rewards than Beantowns?

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by hogtie

Originally posted by maria_stardust
Dearest El Pollo Diablo, what's the best way to "work a room" at a social or business event? I've never been really good at these type of things.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Social graces is such pains in the back sides, but there is some steps of basicness that can gets you though the crucibles. First of alls, combine you winnings of smiles with the eye contacts. Be the actives listeners with slights physical reactions likes the eyebrows raises, head tilts and nodses. Most of alls, use that greats laughs that you has.

There is also the arts of touches. For a first times meets, when a handshakes is being called for, place your other hands gently on tops of the hand of your opposites. A nice, warms two-hands shakes says 'what pleasures to meets you'. If it is someones you has mets before, lightlys touch the sides of the arm. Contacts is very powerfuls. Humans touch is very warmings and intimates. Watch the politicianses and you will sees how theys do this all the times. One thing of great importants, try to keep your hands warms. If you shakes or touches with cold hands, they may thinks you is deads. And not knowings if they has been having traumatic experiences with the deads persons befores, this is somewhat of a gambles.

Most lastlys and importants, when you mingles, leaves them wantings more. This is an arts of knowing the timings. At the height of the conversations make compliments about nice meetings and excuses yourselfs to mingles more. Everyones will be doing the saying of 'who was that creatures of delight?'

Thank you. Come again.

Thank you, El Pollo Diablo! Once again, your advice is insightful and on target. You're such a well-rounded and genteel spirit for a former pirate!

I haven't found the Jade Monkey yet. I'm looking though, . I just decided it had been awhile since I asked a series of questions. I'm certain you've missed me hahaha. Here goes.

Do you like Pastor Troy or Immortal Technique?

Are the theories that I come up with sometimes (specifically the first night I took aderol) correct, or are they too far out there?

Is there a way for an external force, i.e. 4th dimension or higher entities to "box in" or "cage" someone's astral body?

Originally posted by maria_stardust

Thank you, El Pollo Diablo! Once again, your advice is insightful and on target. You're such a well-rounded and genteel spirit for a former pirate!

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

......

"Though I liveds the lifes of crimes, I dids enjoy the graces of socialness. Likes the Sam's Clubs, I passes the savings on to yous. Nows, go and enjoys the lifes of the urbanes socialte!

Post Scriptses: When wearing the outfits with the longs sleeve, be very carefuls of the fondues pot. Has you ever seens lace smothered with the cheeses? It is not a prettys sights."


[edit on 8/18/2006 by hogtie]

Originally posted by euwhajavb
I haven't found the Jade Monkey yet. I'm looking though,

. I just decided it had been awhile since I asked a series of questions. I'm certain you've missed me hahaha. Here goes.

Do you like Pastor Troy or Immortal Technique?

Are the theories that I come up with sometimes (specifically the first night I took aderol) correct, or are they too far out there?

Is there a way for an external force, i.e. 4th dimension or higher entities to "box in" or "cage" someone's astral body?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

....

"Of course you has been the misseds. And all inquieries is welcomes by me! As for Pastors Troys and Immortal Techniques, I is more into the baroques musics than the rips raps and the hips hops. I likes a nice harpsichord, with a winsome wench at the keys. I supposes that if I has to picks a more contemproraries musicians, I has to goes with the Alabama 3. They has a nice doses of voodoos mixed with the blues of the delta and the beats of urbans. You has the Pastors Troy, while I prefers the Reverend D. Waynes Love. Borns to makes the love!

It is impossible to says that anys theories is "too fars outs of theres". The wholes of the worlds is too bigs. Everythings is possibles with the multiples of the times / spaces continumses. Most of the medicines that is being useds for the alterings of the greys stuffs in the noggins is a shorts cuts. States of beings the altered is achievable by the meditations in the sames, though this takes the longers. The sides of being ups is that there are no sides effects, with the exceptings of lowered blood pressures.

As for the cagings of the astral projections, the answers is being no. Mostlys because the livings smells bads. Usuallys the souls is just sents to the wrongs adresses, or sometimes kicked in the butts when not lookings. Just practical jokings stuffs. Ask yourselfs this: how many new-ages types peoples has been founds in beds with a cases of the comas?

Thank you. Come again."

Ohhh, true, I haven't haeard of any of the coma cases like that.

Do you really think construction is the way to go for jobs? I'm a little on the lazy side and hate manual labor, but I need a job pretty quickly so I can move back out of the parents' house.

Whatever happened to this poster?

I thought this was highly entertaining.

We need more Chicken... Diablo (really, that's what I was going to say) answers! Like... I'm watching "The Fall Of Rome" on tv right now and I want to know how it'll turn out!

lol lol lol
That pollo diablo's darn funny. I bet it was el pollo diablo inspired Cibbo Matto's Chicken song.


Where'd you get that chicken?

I miss El Pollo Diablo, and his unfortunate medium Hogtie. Hope to hear from them again sometime...