The Gay Conspiracy in Vehicles

Originally posted by Valhall
Your mom didn't nurse did she?

I don't know did yours? I grow tired of this childish playground, I shall swig me a few brewskies and call it a night, good whatever! maybe I'll finish this childplay tommorow.

While you're out showing off your penile unit to submissive women looking for a new co-dependent partner...

we'll keep the fires of denying ignorance burning. Enjoy the beer and the 20 gallons of gas...we'll make due without you.

Ah, life in the Age of Unenlightenment. I remember Jesse Jackson's take on such thinking (re the gay marriage debate during the elections)

"How many of you — someone from your family — married somebody of the same sex?" Mr. Jackson asked of the congregation of about 500. After nobody raised a hand, he asked, "Then how did that get in the middle of the agenda?"
"If your issues are cancer and Medicare and education and jobs and Social Security and decent housing, then how did someone else put their agenda in the front of the line?" he asked.
www.washtimes.com...

I don't know about you guys and gals, but Ivanterrible might be on to something. I made some calls to some of my contacts at GM and was able to get some spy shots they took of some car that Nissan puts out.

Evidently, there is a straight and homosexual version, se for yourself...




Unless....Ivan, this isn't YOUR car is it?

-O

Originally posted by The Big O
I don't know about you guys and gals, but Ivanterrible might be on to something. I made some calls to some of my contacts at GM and was able to get some spy shots they took of some car that Nissan puts out.

Evidently, there is a straight and homosexual version, se for yourself...

Unless....Ivan, this isn't YOUR car is it?

-O

Oh my, that is too much! I thought that some people's rainbows went too far. Well, hey, I guess that's expression. I wonder if this person's father goes for rides in it?

Great find, TBO, the plot thickens.

Pretty freaking sweet isn't it?

-O

Wait, so.. wait. I'm confused and I didn't read the 2nd page, but can someone tell me how those cars in the first post are associated with homosexuality?

He went to bed before we could get that part down. I fear that we may never know the truth, and we may remain in the dark about this for the rest of our lives. I left him some great links to read up on, so really younger people oriented stuff. Especially the last one.

Who knows, who knows.

I believe the argument is that these new smooth and aerdynamic cars are girly. Somehow, they look like that only because gays want them to, and that they think they will somehow turn everyone who looks/drives them gay as well.

Ivan thinks most cars, or at least many popular cars, out today are designed to turn people gay, or they are not manly enough like back in the 60s and whatnot. I don't want to put words in his mouth, but I think that's the gist of the argument.

-O

Sweet Jesus! The Big O, you've proven the conspiracy!

Niteboy82, maybe we could contact Arnold Schwarzenegger for clarification. Afterall, he drives a Hummer (hmmmm, this just gets more interesting ) and calls his fellow politicians "girlie men."

Everybody knows that only Subaru and VW make truly gay cars.

The WRX and GTI are just really butch ones...

Seriously know, I want to know how a car can promote homosexuality. Does it make out in the garage with the other cars of it's own gender, or what? How exactly does that work?

lolol....
Can we vote this topic in the end of the year as the moust absurd conspiracy theory posted in ATS?!

Originally posted by ivanterrible
my own vehicle is not feminized, a nice fat expedition by the way. and I don't care how much gas goes up in price, I'll stick with it.

This is just my opinion, and it has always been my opinion, but i've always thought that people get big fat vehicles to overcompensate for their tiny limp penises. Maybe I'm wrong...but I doubt it.

Originally posted by Legalizer

Originally posted by ivanterrible
my own vehicle is not feminized, a nice fat expedition by the way. and I don't care how much gas goes up in price, I'll stick with it.

This is just my opinion, and it has always been my opinion, but i've always thought that people get big fat vehicles to overcompensate for their tiny limp penises. Maybe I'm wrong...but I doubt it.

ROFL!!!!OMG....i broke my chair laughting!!
just perfect!

Hrmmm....I always thought people get big fat vehicles because they are big and fat. They just can't seem to fit in a Corolla or Golf, seats aren't big enough, or the suspension can't handle it.

At least most of the men I see driving "SUVs" have some weight issues...and don't get me started on how they're killing their kids. I'm really getting sick of seeing kids that are very overweight following big fat parents. Video games aren't the problem, feeding your kids fried food 7 days a week is the problem.

Guy pulled up in an H2 today when I was filling up, I have an 01 Elantra. Guy tries to strike up friendly conversaion and says, "Gas prices are really up there, huh?"

"Sucks for you," I said.

Anyone else think the current Celica is a "gay" car? Always looked like a chick car to me, but I don't know if I'd call it "gay" or not.

-O

Originally posted by The Big O
Anyone else think the current Celica is a "gay" car? Always looked like a chick car to me, but I don't know if I'd call it "gay" or not.

A few of my friends (gay) had Celicas, and they were so excited about the new style... until they saw it.

I don't know, I think that we should write letters to the guy's mom, asking if she can extend his bedtime tomorrow night so that we can talk to him some more about this issue. I'm currently trying to figure out which line I want to put in my signature from this thread. There are some priceless moments. One of Valhall's sticks into my mind.

I have one of those big gas guzzling hogs that ivan is so proud of, although I normally leave it parked and take the bus.

Ivan, are city buses gay? They do spend all night alone with other buses of the same type. Maybe they just have big old bus orgies all night.

Oh one more thing - I am gay.

If I am gay, and I drive an Expedition, then Expeditions must be gay.

I am, more accurately, a lesbian. I am also a sociologist and it is a fact that gender is a social construction. This fact makes ivan's entire way of life nothing more than a silly attempt to prove a type of "manhood" that doesn't exist in reality. I won't try to explain the dynamics to ivan though, as the words I would have to use are rather large and would only confuse him.

I can fathom how some could define some of the vehicles mentioned herein as being "gay," but not in the homosexual context lol.

I don't believe vehicles have sexualities. I won't say anything more because it is not my purpose or inclination to insult or offend anyone or their views, however much I may disagree with them.

...and so there should be.

In recent years, marketers have begun talking quite a lot about what they call the pink dollar, meaning the gay market. All those big jock types in the corner offices have discovered that gay people form a very large segment of the population, a segment, moreover, that in many countries and regions has more disposable income than straight folk of comparable socioeconomic status and lifestage (tending as they do not to have children, those well-known depleters of wallets).

They have also established that in certain product categories at least, gay people's tastes differ from straight ones'. Obviously (stop me if I'm going into too much detail here, ivan) these tastes are no more uniform throughout the gay community than straight people's tastes are: a very macho gay man would exhibit tastes very different from a very macho gay woman. But there are broad categories and trends that can -- or so the marketing men hope -- be defined and catalogued.

So they've done all that. And yes, they now regularly develop products and product variants that they believe will appeal to the pink market.

Cars are very much part of this, because cars are normally a deliberate expression of personality on the part of their owners. In particular, a car is the owner's sexual persona sculpted in metal. So of course there are cars designed for gays, just as there are cars designed for straights. There are cars designed for just about every market segment: boy racers for young single men buying their first car, zippy little hatchbacks for single women, non-macho SUVs for soccer moms, potbellied beer-guzzling SUVs for Ivan and his friends... and so on and on, ad infinitum.

The differences between vehicles from the same manufacturer, similar in type and sold at a comparable price, yet targeted at different consumer segments, is usually quite superficial. Most of the time the works underneath -- engine, drivetrain, running gear and so on -- are the same; it's just the bodywork and external appearance that change.

The practical characteristics (performance, seating capacity, price and so on) of a car are commonly thought important by buyers, but the range of availabe choices is so vast that a consumer can easily find a car that fits his specifications and appeals to his taste.

And that's all it is. Cars designed to appeal to gay people do not signify a "feminizing conspiracy". It's a conspiracy of marketers to push more product. Part of the great capitalist dream and none the worse for that. Why shouldn't gay people have cars that appeal to them just like everyone else?

Now, just for fun, here are my guesses (but educated ones) about the cars in the thread:

The Honda SUV Ivan showed is more likely to appeal to a fairly butch gay woman than a gay man. More generally, I would imagine, it's targeted at women: upmarket soccer moms.

The Audi A4 is just a family saloon car, an upmarket version of a VW Passat.

The VW Beetle is essentially metrosexual: the driver could be male of female, gay or straight, but their outlook is very likely to be liberal and tolerant of gay people.

The Suzuki Aerio is an entry-level car designed to appeal to a very broad swathe of relatively less wealthy consumers. It is unmacho, because as many women buy cars nowadays as men, so ivan thinks it's "gay". "In the closet" might be a better description.

The Ford Expedition is a penis on wheels. Nothing wrong with that, by the way: I used to ride fast motorbikes when I was in my twenties and my brother is a Land-Rover man to this very day. Essentially, the Exped is a human version of the peacock's tail: big, clumsy, wasteful of energy and proclaiming to all the world that its owner has triumphed over the selective process to the extent that he has resources to waste on such a display (though not enough, alas, to lavish on a real alpha male car like a Porsche 911 or a Hummer). Whether the peahens see it the same way is debatable, though.

SO's Mini-Cooper is metrosexual with machismo, fashionable with horny, half-civilized young men on the way up in tolerant professions like advertising and the media, as well as with the same men at a later stage in their careers when the midlife crisis hits.

As for Val's Pontiac: an unaccustomed delicacy overcomes me and I simply cannot bring myself...

[edit on 3-6-2006 by Astyanax]

[edit on 3-6-2006 by Astyanax]

Originally posted by Legalizer

Originally posted by ivanterrible
my own vehicle is not feminized, a nice fat expedition by the way. and I don't care how much gas goes up in price, I'll stick with it.

This is just my opinion, and it has always been my opinion, but i've always thought that people get big fat vehicles to overcompensate for their tiny limp penises. Maybe I'm wrong...but I doubt it.

Hey, you might be onto something.

I knew there was a reason my car is so small. I guess I'm "undercompensating."