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Travalanche
I wanted to post a thread on this as I have a lot to say on this after a recent accident but for some reason I can't...
6 days ago I was in a car wreck while driving home (way too fast) after shopping for groceries (I live in the country) and a deer came out of a tree row and I ended up swerving into a ditch and then into a field where my vehicle rolled 3-4 times before flinging me out of the window where I passed out, apparently 3 hours later my body was found about 30 feet from my vehicle with glass shards sticking out of me like a pincushion, the last thing I remember is waking up for a few minutes the next day and seeing that I was in a hospital before losing consciousness again for another day. The cops actually told my parent's that if I were wearing my seat-belt my head would have been crushed and after seeing the remains of my vehicle I can attest to that as the top is nearly flat.
I did not even know I was out, it felt like all of the above happened in a 3 minute time frame at most if even that, I miraculously made a full recovery besides moderate brain trauma or something but ended up with about 20 scars all over my body that weren't there before. You could argue that God or whatever was watching out for me or that luck played a part but I couldn't tell you which if anything played a part. I do know that I lost a lot of faith in humanity when this accident happened as the first thing I remember after gaining full consciousness was a visit from the police telling me when to show up for court and using the only money I had in my wallet to pay for something (I have no job atm).
I have been injury prone all of my life and I'm only 24, my body looks horrible from all the scar tissue and it hurts my head when I cough even slightly due to brain swelling.
Moving on... After this accident, losing my jobs, failing in love, being a burden to my parent's, having no college degree, etc I can safely say that I've given up on life. The only reason I even bothered typing this is to let go. I used to be so happy when I woke up in the morning every day but now I just feel indifferent, I've dealt with too much in just a few years, I haven't even been outside of my room since the accident and I refuse to accept anyone's empathy/sympathy I even broke my cell phone in half to signify my resolve.
I'm in the middle of the country living with my parent's and have no vehicle to even look for a job and even if i did get one my mind is so screwed up I'd probably end up having a meltdown.
So yeah, if there were a god/god's you think it would have contacted me by now, possibly giving me a direction to follow but it never happened. If you choose to believe in a man-made god that's fine, I welcome nothingness as the 2 days of unconsciousness were the best I've had in the last 10 years.
Thanks and later.
originally posted by: JesusChristisLord
a reply to: kinglizard
*snip - was it like a warmth, a peace and completely Relaxed just like you were coming out of a pleasant snooze on a Beach/holiday on a sunny and warm day, Not a care in the world...And the brightest white light.