I posted this about a week ago. It was removed by me, as my wife and I talked about the idea of dredging this up again.
Her own experiences that occurred with me, *really* bother her, even though there wasnt that many times (in the grand scheme of things). My
experiences and her partial involvement in them, hasnt been brought up in almost 8 years, and to revisit it (and the possibility of more) isnt an easy
thing.
She and I talked it over last night, and we agreed to go ahead with it.
Below is the post I wrote last week.
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So anyway, I get asked alot from the folks here about the critical point of view I routinely have:
"Whats your deal anyway?"
Well, since typing into a couple of "experiencer" threads the past few days, I've gotten even more "whats your deal??" questions. I promised a
few people I'd spill my guts a little, and instead of talking about some case or pictures/video like usual...I'd give you good people the reasons,
why I am...how I am, about all this UFO/alien thing.
First, I'm highly critical of UFO cases, and the people who promote them, not to mention their "evidence". I always have been.
Critical thinking past the line of "I want it to be true" or "I want it not to be true". To examine this enigma any other way is at least in my
opinion, irresponsible. If a case looks so good you can't believe it, and you see that little tail of a possibility of a fraud (not matter how far in
you are)...thats where you dig. And you dont stop until you see it for yourself.
Years ago in a fairly public case, I saw a tail, and I dug at it til the individual admitted the trickery, and even showed me how he did it.
His words about me in an email to a mutual aquaintance made it's way to my mailbox:
"This (censored)-hole doesnt stop by publicly humiliating your case as a hoax, he grinds you to dust."
Truer words never spoken. And I'm not offended by it, because it's true.
Because as much as we want to think this is some sort of hobby, as much fun as we have discussing it, it's an important issue. Even if we find it's
not physically "real", it's still incredibly important. We'd be learning more about the nature of perception.
So...for me, this ride started when I was around 5 (approx). Too young to know what the hell exactly was going on...and I'm not any more certain I
know anymore now then I ever did.
I'm going to forewarn anyone who keeps reading, that what follows is inexplicably wierd. Now that I'm older, I understand why.
As a small child, I was put to bed about 9pm. To give you a sense of the room, closet at the foot of the bed, door to the right, window to the left.
Ok?
I often would read with a flashlight, because what kid goes to bed when he's told....certainly not me. Towards my 6th birthday, as I was reading in
the dark, I thought something was in my eye. It was white. A tiny dot. No matter where I looked, it was right in the middle of my vision. Close my
eyes...still there.
As I'm rubbing my eyes, I still see it. And whatever it is, it's getting bigger in my vision.
As it grows, I see it's a white perfect square. It's spinning as if on a pinwheel. Clockwise. And growing. I have to emphasize I was completely
awake. The only way *not* to see it? Look at the night light. Look away, and it's back.
Seconds later, I can barely see. It's grown to fill my eyes. I'm panicked, sitting up, and I can only breathe enough to exhale and inhale. My throat
is dry, and I cannot talk.
All stop. I dont know how it ended...or how I ended up on my back. But, I wake up.
The silence is absolutely deafening. As I open my eyes, my nightlight is gone, the door is gone, as is the window. My bedsheets, are no longer white,
they are black, or extremely dark, dark blue. There is no comforter, no puffy pillow. Just a single black sheet stretched tight overtop my legs and
waist and a sinle black sheet under me, again very tight to the bed.
There is a blue light shing on me, and the bed, as if it's on the headboard. This light, the only way to explain it, is that it was so intense, you
could see dust in the air.
I could not move. I could get my head/neck up, but nothing else. Past the light, there was nothing but blackness. Like trying to see into a dark house
when youre outside in the sunlight.
I hear, what I can only describe as unintelligible whispering of a few mouths. Other then that, silence.
Fear, is a lame word. Fear isnt accurate enough...for that matter, brain numbing terror isnt good enough either.
I dont remember how it ended. I know of no other event in anyone's life thats that intense, and they just fall asleep. But, some hours later, I'd
wake up, hear my Dad snoring, the door was back, the window, and the nightlight.
That senario occurred every night, from ages 5-9. There were variables.
One night I could actually sit up. I remember grabbing the black sheets, touching them and saying "I'm not dreaming...I'm awake". About that time,
to my left came a pair of hands into the light. They were pale, and had semi long black fingernails. I remember nothing else till I woke up. For years
after, I was uneasy around women with long nails.
Another time, I could see just outside the light...where there were some kind of pipes, like....well like pipes...plumbing. I could just barely see
them to my right.
Yet another time, the blue light was there, but no black sheets, and my door was there. However, I was picked up by someone, and put on his
shoulders...like your Dad does when your a kid and you sit on his shoulders...but this person, I couldnt look at. And, I was barely off the floor. He
was short. He also, didnt walk. He glided. I went out of my room on his shoulders, and out to the kitchen. The dog was awake, and we made an abrupt
turn, to the left and out the front door. I remember it was cold...and thats all I remember. I remember I put my hands around is face at one point. He
bit me...and there were no teeth. I pulled my hands back.
Those variables in the nightly experience were not repeated, the core experience was fairly constant. Til my 9th birthday.
I had moved from my "little bedroom" into a larger one, that was used as a game room. Now the door was at my left, Mom and Dad's room just outside
to the right, bathroom at end of hall, windows at my right.
Follow so far?
My 9th Birthday party ended, towards dark. Everyone left and I got to play with all my toys, til bed.
Mom tucked me in, and I read some directions that came with a birthday gift I was all excited about (Prolly a Star Wars Toy). Mom and Dad went to bed
a little later, and I was told to get to sleep. (They caught me up.)
Parents went to bed and lights out. I laid there seeing the streetlamp outside, and listening to my Mom giggle at my Dad in their room, my Dad making
some joke about someone who'd stopped by for the party. Their murmuring was constant.
When suddenly there was flash outside, and a sound like thunder.
"Storm?" I thought. "It was nice out when everyone left."
Then I noticed, Mom and Dad's quiet giggles and talk suddenly stopped. The whole house was silent like death. I sat up, and listened. Not so much as
a snore.
"Mom?" I said loudly.
No answer.
The wierd feeling of those black sheets and blue light was thick in the air. But...I could move. Talk, and see.
However, I heard someone's feet on the carpet coming down the hall.
Oddly, I wasnt afraid. I still dont know why...but I wasnt.
Thru the doorway light from the bathroom, a small man gently walked into my bedroom. I couldnt see much more then an outline. Larger head, with a sort
of hat on, shaped like...I dont know the word for it...the hat like ya see chinese people wear when they're in the rice fields....the pointy
ones...wide bottom...ya know? But it was bronze-ish colored. (EDIT: I should note here, that he had a beige/tan skin color.)
I became a little uneasy...queasy feeling.
"Who are..." I got out before I saw his hand go up to "shhhh" me.
He shot to the side of my bed, and I turned to face him. I sat up to a kneeling position.
He was tan, and smooth. Very small mouth, and not too unlike the cover of "Communion" which everyone knows...but, the cover isnt quite right...but
close...sorta.
I was fascinated...thats my only word....I was a little scared, but nothing like I should have been.
He looked at me, like your Mother looks at you at graduation. Warm. Sickly warm.
He brought his hands up, palms out, towards me. Like he was saying "stop"...or..."nothing here". He brought them away from eachother, palms
together, as if he was getting ready to clap.
Then with a quick motion, he clapped.
This was no ordinary applause. What should have sounded like a clap, sounded, like a Gong the size of a house.
It was SO friggin loud, and encompassing. The instant the sound hit me, horrid, horrid fear...I went numb all over, and fell backwards.
I remember nothing else.
But, never again did I see the black sheets, or the blue light. Nor the white square. With that last instance, that all ceased.
3 days later, I had my first UFO sighting, of a red ball that appeared across the street at treetop hieght, in daylight. The ball appeared and
dissapeared for me and 2 friends, over a 10 minute period. As large as a dime at the outstretched arm maybe. We had not a clue what it was.
Those experiences, up to 9 yrs old, are without question, some of the strongest memories of my childhood. I didnt realize what any of it was til I was
almost 22.
Many events happened between 9 and 22, many very odd occurrances...but I never added them up. I'll tell ya'll about them later, I'm really beat,
and alot of this I havent talked about for over 10 years...kinda draining.
All I can tell you, is that not one word of this is embellished, nor added to. It's exactly as I remember it...and what I dont remember...well, I
dont remember. What I do recall is enough for me, and as God's my witness, I swear to you all it's the absolute truth of my experience. I don't
need nor desire for anyone to tell me what happened, or what "race" of "alien" I saw. I'm secure enough in my perception.
So...there's alot more. If you want me to go on, I will, if not, I'll just go back to doing what I do here. I cannot get as deep and constant into
this subject as I used to...I'll explain that later.
But, maybe from this, you can understand why I feel so adamant that this field look at this enigma seriously. Why people who fake pictures dont
realize that it damages a view thru narrow perceptions, what could be a very valuable piece of the nature of our human existence or reality, possibly
interacting with a mind that isnt our own.
So...if ya wanna hear more, I dont have an issue with it.
[edit on 28-3-2006 by jritzmann]