Prude girls help!

Originally posted by urbanoyster01
Now that I think about I dont think its the sex or whatever that i want, i think i just want to understand why she wold feel "dirty."

Yeah that as the point I was going to bring up! First, what are your real issues...her being a prude...too straight... or disgusted/embarrassed by sex...or just not giving you what you want... or the fact she feels dirty just making out?

Someone said how would you feel etc...but that is bull! Because NOTHING about sex is dirty. Not a damn thing as long as it is consensual...and certainly not basic intercourse! (EDITED!) but if she is saving herself for marriage-then so be it-You MUST respect that...if not YOU have no business with her...it's not so much cut the prude loose...but LEAVE the poor prude ALONE and you need to take your little self down to the redlight district behind the bleachers and get some

However if you care about her, and respect her and want to have a relationship that might evolve into a sexual one in due course of time (maturing she may decide marriage isn't the prerequisite, or you may decide you'd like to throw your life away and marry young ) then you do need to open up the lines of communication...tell her OK...we do't have to have sex...it's not as important to me as you are..but can we TALK about sex?

Find out if her morals are religious related, if they have been pounded into her by her parents, and in either case, has she been taught it is something bad or wrong or dirty etc...

Then discuss her personal habits IYKWIM

and if she is equally as hung up about them etc...discuss yours...is she hung up about that too? IS she a prude about alking about sex? Etc...

Be understanding, take it slow...TALK!!!

communication, you might do well to learn, is KEY in every freakin aspect of your life my friend, MASTER it especially with the opposite sex and you'll do better than most who don't. Open up the lines of cummunication...understand her... and one day you might find more than the lines of communication open

If not...you can still help her over come some pre-conceived inhibitionary thinking...and have some really interesting conversations

(edited so I don't get in trouble!)

[edit on 12-2-2006 by think2much]

I have to tell you that I just kinda got out of that kind of relationship recently.

I loved the girl, and we were really having good times together... but she was always refusing my advances (even the most subtile ones), even to the point that in the end she was so frigid she was'nt even returning friendly kisses and hugs. Not that she was dissing me or hating me... but she seemed quite uncomfortable to some things.

I think that she was a lesbian (the same theory that many other people who knew her had too), but did'nt even want to admit it to herself, even if the cracks were beginning to be showing... like contemplating a gorgeous women at the same time as I would and saying "wow" even to her own surprise, or being overtly frustrated when hearing her lesbian roomates having sex together. And her appearant constant rebuttal of sex with guys, her square sexual ethics of near-abstinence were too unnatural to be honest for a girl like that.

But she did'nt admit her secret, even if I told her that I would'nt feel ashamed of her if she would admit. It's too bad, because I really loved this girl adn she was special for me, but she could'nt be frank with me... and appearantly not even with herself!

So what I think is that this girlfriend of your is either a closet homosexual, or either a virgin, and made the choice of waiting to lose her virginity with the right guy.

In either way, DUMP HER. Of course, do it in a respectful but frank way. If you can't shut your desires for her, on the long term it's gonna destroy you, because she WON'T change, EVER, so just close the store and go see somewhere else!

Sex does not match with true friendship.

[edit on 14/2/06 by Echtelion]

[edit on 14/2/06 by Echtelion]

Dude what the hell is wrong with you? "I respect her, but I wanna get her to spread her legs, or get on her knees, or climb on top, although against a wall is fun to, or..." Get a girl who will, or cheat and don't tell your girl.

Or tell her that you love hner but you wanna screw like a kangaroo, tell her that you love her enough to respect her want to not gang bang like an orangutang, and if you could just get a hooker for an hour or two. People think one man, one female, relationship is normal when it isn't, very few animals do this, and the ones that do are usually endangered species as they only have one mate. There are plenty of people who are open enough with their girl/guy/wife/husband that if they want to nail a hooker or have a one night stand, instead of destroying a loving relationship because you/they "cheated" you/they know about it, got the ok, and know that it was just sex. It wasn't love, it wasn't care, it was just sex.

I think you made a mistake by saying you respect her. I have been in this girls situation.... and it makes you feel like you are worth nothing... you are kids mate.
No offence but when you actually mature then concider sex and the things that go with it.

I understand the whole school pressure. You makes telling you about their victories and going into detail like most boys do. You feel you have to "do" a girl to fit in.

If you pressure this girl into having sex then she WILL hate you. Sounds bad but she will.

To be honest she sounds like a good girl, if you want hanky panky go find some tart with no morals to make out with and have sex with.

Also she wants to make love, not have a quickie behind the bike shed. Good on her!
Try and see where she is coming from... you are in high school for godness sake... give your bodies time to grow first before you play with serious things....
because opse one night your pissed forget to put a condom on "oh god" she is with a belly full of arms and legs.

Also, she is not prude.... she has a BRAIN.

This is in no way me being nasty just expressing my opinion and i would like to think you would take the advice given to you.

Hope you choose the right way to go.

Oni x x

Originally posted by Oni x x
because opse one night your pissed forget to put a condom on "oh god" she is with a belly full of arms and legs.

Thats when we get the "She trapped me on purpose." thread.. or one at ATS where people bitch and moan about how slutty girls must be to get pregnant.. [abortion threads] despite knowing we are in a culture where girls being pressured into having sex is common place.
The other guy is assuming a girl must me a lesbian because she doesn't want to put out. "There must be something wrong with her." I do not understand this mentality- it's as if they think girls are obligated to do these favours for them lest their penises fall off.

[edit on 15-2-2006 by riley]

Oni X X, tart? Clearly a born and raised English woman. Only you people say Tart, Bloody, snog, so forth. Of course us Americans Ain't the only ones to use words that no one else does.(like Ain't, it's a joke)

ANyways, as most people have said, if you want sex either leave her and get a girl who will have sex or talk to her about it and get a hooker/one night stand. Heck me and my current g/f know that we love each other, if she wants a one night stand or if I do just to have sex we talk about it. Of course this leads to worries about pregnancy and STDs, cause even with her on the pill and me using condoms it could still happen. Although some people would think we are junkies with the track marks we have.(Joke, we get tested, a lot, to make sure, for we love each other and want to live long enough to have children, grand kids, so forth instead of getting AIDS and spreading it to the other person)

If she says she doesn't want you to have sex with someone else and she won't have sex and you absolutely need to have sex, leave her!

Originally posted by DevinS
There are plenty of people who are open enough with their girl/guy/wife/husband that if they want to nail a hooker or have a one night stand, instead of destroying a loving relationship because you/they "cheated" you/they know about it, got the ok, and know that it was just sex. It wasn't love, it wasn't care, it was just sex.

hmm... You know, Devin, that attitude that I'm aware of for having seen it in a few friends in the past still makes me quite perplex. "Sex" is not something detached and mundane like your girlfriend going at the restaurant, on a bicycle ride or watching a movie with another guy... "Sex" comprises kissing, touching, rubbing, getting naked together in the bed... and especially penetrating. This is the most intimate act that can happen between two persons, so it's not an event like another. "Sex" is the word that litterally means intercourse, in laymen's terms.

The difference between making love and sex is very abstract, at the end of day, since it's only a matter of how it is made and more importantly how it is perceived by the persons involved, even it gets down to be doing EXACTLY the same thing.

If a night of extra-relational sex is consensual between you, your partner and the other lucky person, then I say yes, it's legit and there's nothing wrong... but then again WHEN does it happens this way? THe consensus is often being alienated for the sake of that other person that gets involved without getting engaged. And I am very doubtful on the true feelings that a guy/girl has for his/her partner if he/she does'nt care about the partner having sex with somebody else...


[edit on 24/2/06 by Echtelion]

mod edit: Do not circumvent the censors

[edit on 25-2-2006 by sanctum]