Ok so it feels like my brain is on FIRE. As well, the old me is dead, and theres a new one now.
I had a nice 3 hour long meditation today, i accomplished more then I ever have. There was a couple distractions which caused some problems but which
made it more interesting. Such as: I got robbed AGAIN, 3rd tme now. Well I didnt get anything stolen I don't think. I think the guy just took my
room-mates' girlfreinds laptop, but she was the one who left the door open!! Karma man.. So anyways that was a bit disctracting because I was
trying to think about how/if I could help her situation. I'm getting better at knowing things were being stolen from my house, haha jesus... The
way I see it, whats mine is everyone's. A loss of a material thing is mildly in-conveniencing.
Ok but anyways, I got this book I've been reading, and going back and reading over and over again for a while which helps me really figure meditation
things out, or rather, get them going. The whole, purification, concentration and insight stuff. Well I tried one of the examples in the book;
focusing on godly powers. I had an image of a white sphere burned in my head and I kept thinking of the words: white, light, and godly power. Well I
used that as my point of concentration to get my mind centered, worked well. Anyways I was thinking of something the other day and I tried it
today, I stripped away the part of me that was uniquely male, then took it further and stripped away what parts of me were human, to get the raw me.
This image of a curvy bumpy line with like spheres on it popped in my head, like DNA. Like a big worm. That was interesting.
From then on I kept concentrating until I got into a higher and higher altered state. I was trying to feel my energy centers and brin them alive. I
felt a big pressure in my head as I was trying to force my brow chakra to vibrate and unlock hidden knowledge. I feel like I accomplished something
cuz felt like an internal click.
I felt like I was in a different state of conciousness and being, a new world. I know they say developing abilities can steer you away from
meditation, but I had to see for myself, I was trying to see the energy and understand its properties, and the true power and nature of thought. I
have a necklage, its just headphone wires looped through an I-ching coin i 'found' (was given to me last year I believe.) But I held it still and
focussed on it with my eyes open, then closes, causing it to sway, and then I'd keep doing it to make sure my hand wasn't having an influence. I got
it to sway wildly. I then held it in my hand, trying to make it move. I believe it did move quite a bit, but it took much effort. I also tried slowing
the energy in it, making it colder, and it did feel a few degrees colder, but I was going for like...arctic. I also tried to soften the metal, and
bend it with my fingers, i believe it bent a little, and its a strong coin. So I put that back around my neck and went up stairs with a new
perception of reality. I went up to my parents cat, stared in its eyes and said to it with my mind: "I like you cat." And well it wouldnt leave me
alone for like 10 minutes, I think it got the message, its not a very social animal.
So what happened here exactly is. I realised the dream. I always felt I was living in the dream but I never really felt it until now. The world is a
very different place to me at this moment. It feels like my soul was asleep, and I woke it up. I don't know how else to describe how I feel, I was
trying to compare it to dreams and how real they feel, until when you wake up and theres a shift and after a few seconds you feel grounded to
"reality". Now I just feel like when I awake from my dreams tommorow, i'm going to awake to a different dream
WOo!! haha, this is great. My brain is on fire, I kinda wanna cram a beer or 2..or 10 in it but this is new to me, I don't know if it will screw
it up? haha. Well its like a new brain, I should break it in, haha cheers.
Well thanks to everyone for pushing me in the right direction. You all know who you are.