What do I have to do to get a date?

My best mate was just like you. Even in his mid 20's he used to run away when in the same room as a girl .

I took him to a pub and introduced him to a really hot girl I knew. This time he didn't run away, and I kept the conversation going to help fix him up. They are married now and have been together for 11 years.

There's isn't a method that will work on everyone as everyone is different and it depends upon the situation. You just have to read the signals right.

I once walked past a girl in a club and said "You're tits are small". She threw a drink over me. Later that night she walked over to me in the club and said she was sorry. I said sorry too, and we went back to her place for the night. In the morning her sister brought us hot drinks and got into bed with us. That's how I lost my virginity and I was 18 then.

the right one hasn't found you yet...or else you are too picky and are missing many chances for love. what are you looking for? do you have too extensive of a list of qualities? write down what you want and then look for that person instead of trying to wade through a sea of possibilities. also,well in my opinion,guys that seem desperate are such a turn off. don't make it known that you desperately want someone,just try to act calm and casual. a man that seems to be in charge of his life and emotions is very attractive.

Originally posted by tommyc

I once walked past a girl in a club and said "You're tits are small". She threw a drink over me. Later that night she walked over to me in the club and said she was sorry. I said sorry too, and we went back to her place for the night. In the morning her sister brought us hot drinks and got into bed with us. That's how I lost my virginity and I was 18 then.

...
............

hmmmm ......... ...... hmm indeed.

:shk:

what ot say can be hard to get at first, here are some good idea's for u:

I am great with animals, and especailly like cats.

I can do minor maintinace with on cars.

I have a 2nd degree Black belt in Tae Kwon Do

I am very savvy with computers and gadgets, even have my own website

I spend a lot of time raeding Sci-Fi books, tho I have found out I use it mainly as an escape from the real world... as I do the internet.


When you talk to that special lady, just talk to her like she is just one of the guys-but restrain yourself a little.

With my strong hands I am a fairly good beginner at massage.

I am a fairly knowledgeable person even if I havn't had much formal education beyond Highschool, and have a lot of intuative knowledge that a lot of people come to me with questionas about differant things at work

Originally posted by Dulcimer

Originally posted by tommyc

I once walked past a girl in a club and said "You're tits are small". She threw a drink over me. Later that night she walked over to me in the club and said she was sorry. I said sorry too, and we went back to her place for the night. In the morning her sister brought us hot drinks and got into bed with us. That's how I lost my virginity and I was 18 then.

...
............

hmmmm ......... ...... hmm indeed.

:shk:

Seriously. I'd had a few drinks before I said it and I was being an idiot. I even went out with her for a couple of months because I felt a duty to do so because I lost my V to her. I can honestly say that I would have slept with just about any woman to lose my V. I didn't even kiss a girl until I was 16, lost my V at 18 and I have slept with dozens of women since.

There are just so many ways to meet a woman that you can't really give advice as every time is different. Even a disaster can work to your advantage.

As an example, I remember being in a club with my mates at the end of a night. They were saying how I hadn't pulled a woman and time was running out. I then slipped over on a spilt drink and fell down some stairs, and they laughed at me, but I looked up to see a cute girl. I said "I've fallen for you". She was impressed and I took her home for the night and saw her for a few months.

Buddy...

You need to stop crying for yourself... Seriously, girls like the Alpha-male, they don't want some guy who is so insecure. You need to get comfortable with your self, and the rest will follow.

Hell, if I were you I would go to as many bars as I could, and force myself to hit on as many girls as I could just to get over my insecurities.

Go out when ever you can, hit on as many girls as you can, and keep doing it untill you are numb to it. Eventually if you keep doing that, talking to girls won't be such a big deal.

Don't worry about being rejected. Who cares? They are strangers and don't know you, while you are using them to get over you social problems.

Quagmire from family guy is a good inspiration.

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.

Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)

Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)

Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)

****About 33 drinks later****

Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.

Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)

Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.

Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)

Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.

Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)


Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy!

"What do I have to do to get a date?"

Stop placing such importance on it. Your own perception of failure in this area can be visible to others, and is likely contributing to your problem.

Understand that you do not have the right to put the responsibility for your own happiness on someone else. It sounds like you are really looking for someone to take on that role for you. It is certainly not wrong to attempt to make someone else happy because you care, but no one should come to rely on someone else for their own self-love.

Be happy and fulfilled in and of yourself, first.

In many of the posts above, people talk about self confidence, desperation and the "vibes" you put out. There is no vibe like happy to attract other people.

Dun you have any friends ?

Group activities ?

Really, you dun need to prep yourself for Miss Right each time you want to hang out.

Fnid a group activity. You'll soon realise that women are human. They can be friends to guys too. My best friend is a woman. She's married at that.

Originally posted by tommyc
They went to order drinks and I went straight up to her and said "Fancy a shag" she said "Ok then". She canceled her drink and 10 minutes later we were in bed back at my place. I saw her for a few months.

This is BAD advice.. a couple of months ago I was waiting for the walk sign at the lights to get to a tram [I'd just done my groceries for the week]. This guy looked at me.. hesitated, came up to me [I thought he was going to ask for directions and said "Exuse me.. would you mind if I ask you for a screw?"
Me: "Would you mind if I gave you a smack in the mouth?"
Him: "Well there's no need to rude about it!" and he stormed off [and I missed my tram] ..this is not how you find a 'girlfriend'.. or one thats not possibly riddled with STDs anyway if she habbitually says 'yes'.

Jehosephat,
I think before you start thinking about getting a girlfriend you need to have a circle of friends and more of a social life first. I see you like sci-fi books? What about going to conventions? It has to be better than online dating.. I think it's already been said but the more friends you have.. the more possibilties as their wives and girlfriends always have single friends or little sisters they're trying to find someone for.

Why would anyone want a date?

Dating in your 30's isn't easy!! I'm finding that out!. Quick little history...32 here, divorced for 4 yrs. I have 2 boys 4 & 7 (same father...my ex yep do the math on that one...) Work from HOME, so I'm not out and about meeting new people. I have been on a dozen or so "dates" in the last 4 yrs, 1 man was for over 6 months, another I talk to, even stil, l for about a year, occasionally BUT HE STILL WON'T ASK ME OUT!!! Honestly, in the beginging I RAN out and dated a bunch, I felt the need to be out there and find someone. Bad date after bad date.

NOW....Its weird, Sometimes I get lonely wish I had someone, But I wont just settle on anyone. I'm quite content just raising my boys, doing my work, and spending time with family. The thing I ran into A LOT with men, is rarely any of them are real MEN...."I dont know, what do you want to do???" If I ever hear that again I will SCREAM!!

OH, I'm rambling...I do that sometimes, You mention that you would like a woman to show you that she's interested...Its the same on this side!! I tend to talk to everyone! grocery store, street, post office.....I talk to strangers. I have no clue who is being friendly and who is interested. I dont know who is single or married. I have children in tow, I imagine most think I'm attached. I should get a t-shirt saying "single and looking"...

A little off topic.. I have had friends say that children SCARE men off.....what do you guys think?? I hate to even say this but I have dated 2 men briefly who had custody of their children and things just were hard to get time arranged to meet. But I think that more had to do with BOTH of us trying to find same time free.... If my boys scare guys off, so be it...I guess I'll have to wait 10-15 yrs or so

Originally posted by Jehosephat

I cannot get any kind of courage to talk to them when half the time they look at me like they found me on the bottom of thier shoes.

You're projecting. you have no Idea what they're thinking. You'd better find "the courage". You need to get outside your comfort zone. That's where the action is, in any endeavor.

I just can't go out and ask someone.

Yes you CAN. You only think you can't.

And I have no friends to help me. Yes folks, no friends, all of the ones in High school didn't care what happened to me.

And if you come across this way, it's a major turnoff. You don't want to do "pathetic".

Yes, I do have low self-esteem problems, but that is who I am, I need a cheerleader in my life to make me feel better then I normally do.

Good luck with that. Would one of the Dallas cheerleaders do?

how the heck am I suppose to get a date when I have all of these problems?

I think you already know. You don't have any problems other than wishing for a magic solution. It's got to be YOU that effects the change. Get out there, Bubba. Make some mistakes. Don't be afraid to look foolish. You won't die. I promise.

First of all, the best thing you could possibly do is just stop worrying about it and act naturally. It's not like you're Quasimodo. Be friendly, be open, be funny, be bold. And I'm not talking "obnoxious". You can sit and wait...and wait...and wait...and be right where you are a year from now. Or you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and take some risks. And the risks aren't that big. Don't "assume" someone thinks you're unworthy.

And don't overlook the opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone who wouldn't seem to be your ideal match. They have FRIENDS, dude. And the fact is, you're more appealing to other women if it appears you're already involved. No one wants someone they think no one else wants. And that's just human nature. Whether it comes to seeking employment (easier to find a job if you already have one), selling a house (the longer it's on the market, the harder it is), or anything else.

Just a little tough love, bud. At this point, you're not only your own worst enemy, you're probably your only enemy. And you don't need to be.

Let me help.

Originally posted by onmyown30
Dating in your 30's isn't easy!! I'm finding that out!.

No. Cerveza and pool on a Wednesday night starts to look a little creepy after 30.

Quick little history...

Cerveza, pool...

NOW....Its weird, Sometimes I get lonely wish I had someone, But I wont just settle on anyone.

Here's what happens. Fickleness is directly proportional to sex drive. Men are insane from 18 to 30. Then it's women's turn.

The thing I ran into A LOT with men, is rarely any of them are real MEN...."I dont know, what do you want to do???" If I ever hear that again I will SCREAM!!

Like I said, insane.

OH, I'm rambling...I do that sometimes, You mention that you would like a woman to show you that she's interested...Its the same on this side!! I tend to talk to everyone! grocery store, street, post office.....I talk to strangers. I have no clue who is being friendly and who is interested. I dont know who is single or married. I have children in tow, I imagine most think I'm attached. I should get a t-shirt saying "single and looking"...

Try reverse psychology. Don't talk to strangers, wear a t-shirt saying "not crazy."

A little off topic.. I have had friends say that children SCARE men off.....what do you guys think??

Honestly, I think it's their mothers.

Not laughing at you. Laughing with you. Life sucks all over. Now I'm really depressed.

Originally posted by RANT
Here's what happens. Fickleness is directly proportional to sex drive. Men are insane from 18 to 30. Then it's women's turn.

Congrats on finding your sanity RANT...



[edit on 18-10-2005 by riley]

Originally posted by riley
Congrats on finding your sanity RANT...

Oh, I'm sure I'm due for another break down or mid life crisis in about 20 years around the time women my age calm down.

Biology is working against us all.

Originally posted by RANT
Oh, I'm sure I'm due for another break down or mid life crisis in about 20 years around the time women my age calm down.

Biology is working against us all.

Perhaps that is why viagra is so popular.. old men are just not equipped to deal with younger women in general.. hence the mid life crisis to try resurect what has long since gone.
Women thirty and over though are perfectly compatable with virile toyboys.. this is biologically ideal. Society really does have it the wrong way around.

Originally posted by riley

Originally posted by tommyc
They went to order drinks and I went straight up to her and said "Fancy a shag" she said "Ok then". She canceled her drink and 10 minutes later we were in bed back at my place. I saw her for a few months.

This is BAD advice.. a couple of months ago I was waiting for the walk sign at the lights to get to a tram [I'd just done my groceries for the week]. This guy looked at me.. hesitated, came up to me [I thought he was going to ask for directions and said "Exuse me.. would you mind if I ask you for a screw?"
Me: "Would you mind if I gave you a smack in the mouth?"
Him: "Well there's no need to rude about it!"

and he stormed off [and I missed my tram] ..this is not how you find a 'girlfriend'.. or one thats not possibly riddled with STDs anyway if she habbitually says 'yes'.

Jehosephat,
I think before you start thinking about getting a girlfriend you need to have a circle of friends and more of a social life first. I see you like sci-fi books? What about going to conventions? It has to be better than online dating.. I think it's already been said but the more friends you have.. the more possibilties as their wives and girlfriends always have single friends or little sisters they're trying to find someone for.

There's obviously a time and place for saying it. If a woman gives you a nice sexy look and you are very sure that she wants you, then it can work.

Yeah man, pretty much everyone said it. Just chill out and make her laugh. For some reason I've noticed that girls like guys who just mess around, but be serious enough so that you dont look like a freak. I'm sixteen so our values might be a little different, but ive had plenty of girlfriends already so I guess it works. Good luck