I need some Wisdom and Understanding .

I’m the type of person who believes in the Unlimited Potential of the Universe .

The Universe is Mental and we are Mental and so we are one . It’s our own Thoughts and Emotions that hold us down or raise us up.

I’ve used my mind and belief in the power of God to direct myself on the proper path in my adult life . Sure I can make a plan but what is my plan in the face of God's plan ?

Anyways anyways I digress.

I’ve come to a dilemma and I need wisdom from those more wise than myself .

I was running through my daily Mind Movie imagining and feeling my Goals for the future . I place myself there , I feel it , I smell it , I taste it , I bring tears to my eyes experiencing the emotions of my future self .

Then my Fiance started telling me about her day . She has a client , A young 15yo girl who was sex trafficked by her friend and raped .The young girl is now Pregnant and living with a relative . The Child inside of her has fluid on the brain and will likely be born mentally disabled .

That is the shortened version of the story .

My dilemma is this .

Who am I to want more ? Should I not be satisfied with the life I have ? This young girl is just starting out in life and already has experienced the worst betrayal imaginable and is carrying a mentally disabled child that she will not be able to care for .

This is just one example of the terrible positions people find themselves in .

How do I move past this , how do I accept that other people's lives are not my responsibility . I cannot help but imagine her suffering when I’m trying to imagine a bright future for my family and I.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

Please don't read this if you think there is any chance of it pissing you off .

It seems to me that you have encountered a conundrum in your belief system. Are you looking for wisdom that will confirm your own belief system or wisdom that might cause you to question it more.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

You have a difficult choice. It is especially difficult to advise something to your friend who has found herself in such a situation.

I can advise only based on other people's experience. I have acquaintances who are Orthodox priests who, during confession, decide whether to keep a child conceived during rape, whether a soldier who preferred death to captivity commits suicide? Very difficult questions for a believing Christian.

I asked these questions to practicing priests of the Russian Orthodox Church. I always received the answer from everyone that this is the secret of confession. It is impossible to know what the priest will advise. But I know many stories when women and men in critical situations, who sincerely opened their souls to an Orthodox priest and received advice from him, and followed this advice, changed their lives and became happy.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

I just try and be thankful like so thankful for everything I have and every day I'm living because I know already it can be so much worse. It is a nice thought that manifestation stuff, but I kinda feel like it misses the point. Looking around it seems like maybe we are supposed to go through something, different people go through different things and learn different things and that could be important for us all. All of us having varying degrees of struggle or awful things happening strengthen us in different ways and open our minds to different perspectives and thought processes.

One option is to become a cold blooded psychopath and don't care about anyone except for yourself if you want to quickly move past it. From the tone of your OP this is not an option you want.

Another option is to accept it as another scar that you just have to live with. The mental ones can take a lot longer than the physical ones to heal. In time it does get easier. Getting exposed to more extreme suffering can also help find some comparison, context and compassion. It is tough coming to terms with how this world does work at times, I know it sucks. If being aware can help you avoid some future suffering somewhere for someone, that is a good thing from being stuck in a bad place. Keep moving.

Perhaps it's not the trials you face in life but how you handle them that counts?

SO many belief systems for us to choose from and people usually choose the one that makes them the most comfortable in explaing away lifes' unfairness.

Is life here like a school where we're tested and if we 'learn' our lessons we pass on to a higher realm of existance? Did we choose the life lessons we need to learn before we were even conceived?

Do we attract to ourselves the lessons we most need to learn reapeatedly until the lesson has been learned?

How do we explain away the fact that inutero testing has been wrong on their diagnosis repeatedly? That fetuses pronounced to have zero quality of life are born perfectly normal and healthy?

As with serious vaccine adverse events it's kept hush-hush for the most part. Good luck finding any data, but stories from women who didn't end their pregnancy and went on to have a normal healthy baby abound.
I guess you could consider the FDA's track record of honesty.....

This is a really sad story, and one that is far too common. We could focus on the abortion issue, but I personally think that is doing this young girl-and every abused child a huge diservice.

This kind of thing wouldn't be so prevalent if it wasn't being sanctioned at the highest levels. Look no farther than the penality for destroying a childs' future; a slap on the wrist in the rare instances they're held accountable.

Is that because the rumors are true that the highest levels of society are the ones who prey the most on children? I don't have the answer to that but I do have a lot of suspician.

Chances of this child healing and having a decent adult life are not in her favor, stastically. I hope she gets all the extra help and support she needs and I wish you luck in figuring out how to understand something that can never really be understood.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

There are things we can control and there are things we can't...thats just the reality we live in...good or bad. This appears to be a thing you can't control even if you wanted you can't change what happened or take away its effects. The best we can do is stribe for compassion and understanding, but in no way should that limit you or anyone elses drive for better. Without a drive or purpose to better ourselves what would be the point?

a reply to: kwaka

I found resonance with your post especially this.

Another option is to accept it as another scar that you just have to live with.

Do you think that too many scars can lead to callus?

If one has a semi-religious or even just a spiritual life one usually finds the moment to be thankful DAILY or weekly for what they do have. Be humble and pious in an ever-broadening materialistic and greedful world. Be righteous and help where you can

That ilk is built on pure greed money, and control, it's how they exploit the unfortunate. Never forget they have to have associates and friends in high places to be able to exist at the levels they have attained.

I have daughters I can't imagine the horrors, it's why when people smirk about the good and the evil in this world and pretend it doesn't exist it does and it makes you question what else these people have no clue about. Because these traffickers are one of the true evils in the 21st century no telling how far thier influence reaches

Help donate volunteer whatever you feel you can do to help and it may help you feel less hopeless.

Remember it is these issues that we need our governments to address more urgently and mindfully instead of making sure we have enough skirts in the military

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

I can tell you my lesson! Always do what you say. No matter what never give up!

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

Don't got any wisdom nor understanding, but I'm overflowing with dumbarsery, as usual ...

This.
This moment here.
This is why you are here.
Whatever comes-up in your now : is your reason/challenge/test/thing/Tao.

You already know this.
As above : so below, is also as perceived outside, is also inside.

So you believe in GOD, but not an almighty God, just a sorta so-so one ?
One who needs to be begged from, for more, more, more ?

How did a youth get sex-trafficked : perhaps both her and her friend, wanted more, more, more ?

I don't understand how smart folks, whom believe in God : reject Creation as inadequate.

If we are both Creator and Creation : how can that be not enough ?

Stop.
Close your eyes.
This is perfection !
It's everything !
This is nothing.

If it wasn't for the dark : we wouldn't know the light.
In this experience : they are both present, sorta like poles.

Outsideish : the world explodes in wars, famine, rape, violence, injustice, endless suffering.
Insideish : many are awakening to the illusory nature of this world, this experience.
They happen together.

The more there is a push towards one side of a political spectrum : there will be an equal push to the opposite extreme.

Push-and-pull.

The more folks move towards enlightenment : the more fireworks will happen around them.
Ying : meet yang.

No matter how bad you feel, it won't make anyone else's circumstances better. You only do damage to yourself.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

I think that in order to explain what I think, it will be necessary to relate a horrifying story first.

When I was 6 and 7 years old, I was extremely proficient at throwing dirt clods and hitting what I intended to hit.

There was a wild oat field between the cul-de-sac where I lived and the housing area we called McGarian street. We had our separate gangs. My siblings and neighbors had dug a fort in the field. The field had then been disked as a means of fire hazard removal. It was therefore a field of dirt clods.

One day the McGarian street gang took over the fort. My cul-de-sac gang attacked, circling the besieged invaders pelting them with dirt clods. I picked up a clod of just the right size and weight that I could accurately predict its trajectory and hurled it at a boy of about 4 years of age.

An older child yelled out for a cease fire. We paused as the 4 year old with smashed nose and bloody mouth was escorted from the field of battle.

I know damn well that I was the one who caused that possible permanent damage to the child.
----------
Now then: I don't know his name, or where he lives, or even if he yet lives. So I have this guilt that will not go away, and there is nothing I can do about it.

This is how I see it. I am one of those extremely rare humans who is actually mortal, meaning when I die that's it, finished. No immortal soul. No longer remembering that smashed bloody face.

a reply to: FullHeathen

Thanks for the Q.E.D.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

For your own mental well being, you need to look after number one. Dont feel guilty because this poor girl has had it terrible.

You've only one go at all this, dont spend it feeling guilty and sorry for others if you want to have a good life for yourself.

how do I accept that other people's lives are not my responsibility

Because they aren't. You have to look out for you and your future, no one else will.
We all feel for people that are in pain and suffering, but we have our own lives to deal with.

a reply to: BingoMcGoof

It seems to me that you have encountered a conundrum in your belief system. Are you looking for wisdom that will confirm your own belief system or wisdom that might cause you to question it more.

I'm not looking for confirmation bias at all , in fact quite the opposite .

I'm looking for a way to understand the Evils around me and yet not allow them to affect me or drag me down. A way to focus on myself and my family yet not seem like a cold hearted bastard.

There is so much evil in the world that it seems almost trivial to strive for more in the face of it all.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow
Ask your fiance to please stop dumping these highly confidential facts about her clients lives on you.

If her employers have not provided suitable space for their workers to appropriately release professional angst (usually a 1-2-1 with a line-manager or specialist counsellor either within the company or via occupational health), suggest to her she find another job.

For dealing with how you feel right now, sorry, I have no answers. I am still haunted by things I have seen, experienced and even just read about. Deep empathy cannot be undone but is often accompanied by the capacity for deep joy.

a reply to: asabuvsobelow

Sort of related .. a little ..

14 years ago when I first got chronically ill, I talked to a priest about this and said to him that I felt horrid about my illnesses but I shouldn't complain because others had it worse. He said that the suffering of others in no way diminishes the validity of my own suffering. You can still grieve your own suffering. I try to keep that in mind but I do look at what others are going through when it's worse and think ... okay, it could be that bad instead of the bad I have, so even though I won't stop feeling bad about my own situation, I'll be grateful for what I do have.

originally posted by: covent
a reply to: asabuvsobelow
Ask your fiance to please stop dumping these highly confidential facts about her clients lives on you.

If her employers have not provided suitable space for their workers to appropriately release professional angst (usually a 1-2-1 with a line-manager or specialist counsellor either within the company or via occupational health), suggest to her she find another job.

For dealing with how you feel right now, sorry, I have no answers. I am still haunted by things I have seen, experienced and even just read about. Deep empathy cannot be undone but is often accompanied by the capacity for deep joy.

That's not how a relationship works mate.

It is more of a mental stress on her mind than it is mine and I'm there to help her with that mental Load .

As for the story itself . I paraphrased A LOT and changed certain details but none the less I got the point across.

Deep empathy cannot be undone but is often accompanied by the capacity for deep joy.

I like this thank you .

a reply to: kwaka

One option is to become a cold blooded psychopath and don't care about anyone except for yourself if you want to quickly move past it. From the tone of your OP this is not an option you want.

Strangely enough I do have the Capacity to be Cold Blooded but I choose instead to feel .

I agree the scars of life give us strength and make us who we are .