Want Some Secret Knowledge?

a reply to: SecretKnowledge2

I know the question wasn't posed to me but I do wish to say there's a link to trauma. Others can sense it whether it's animals, people or even the supernatural. That's my suspicion anyway, it's also been the suspicion of others who used to grace these boards who seemed very knowledgeable about otherworldly stuff.

It seems all people who experience have similarities, how do people react to trauma? The animalistic part of the brain demands a flight or fight response but humans have higher thoughts too and we can truly struggle at living if we ruminate (think deeply) about our experiences.

I often see experiences such as yours (or mine) to be an enhanced reflection of the psyche.

I think we ask for it personally, whether consciously or subconsciously.

In essence it's the same questions throughout history and culture. Where did we come from, where are we going and what are we doing. We're living... That's what we're doing.

I can only speak for myself when it comes to such things and I have no intention of chasing ascension, I do wish to help people though, I guess that involves helping them avoid paths they never wanted to take too...

Going by this post I'm replying to I'd say it's as if you already have your answers but haven't quite realised it many would choose to be a hindrance given your life experiences, others would simply give up.

What have you chosen?

Yeah, it seems you're a little further along than I anticipated.

I just like reflecting on the old. There's a coincidence on my new name for instance... Dracula was taken so I just added a word and a lad is practically a kid as you know right? Let's say for a second the old god's needed us as much as them in the realms of thought, just as much as we need each other in the realm of the physical. Metaphysically speaking just who becomes the vampire in those situations? Is it even vampiric when there's a timeless benefit from such stories, actions and intentions?

In the end all we have is our own minds and our own actions, it's the choices we make as individuals that really matter. Even bad choices can be brilliant for others, again even if it's just to portray a reflection another can understand even if the image received is one they'd consider ugly.

Tupac wrote of the tenacity of the rose that dared to rise amongst the concrete, many would pull it up for being out of place but I have the feeling you'd share the view that such things should be celebrated. Again, I can't say if you chose to be a 'gardener' or if it was chosen for you because I'm really not qualified to answer the question of free will (who is?) what I can tell is that you come across as a gardener who chooses to do good despite the circumstances.

Those 'roses' are truly the most beautiful in my eyes. The eyes of others who'd understand easier too I'd imagine. A kindredness.

Back to my name coincidence... Cupid has two sets of arrows. One made of gold and the other of lead. The lead inspired hatred and disgust whereas the others you probably know about. Well, Cupid was a kid but he also had a brother made for him and whenever his brother was around Cupid would magically grow up to be a man, whenever the brother wasn't around he'd magically revert back to his childish form where he truly was a little nuisance and probably the most powerful of all the Greek pantheon. Simply via his ability to inspire the utmost adoration or loathing... Even gods feared the ways of the heart. It's a desire world after all, emotions are the fuel and inspiration is the fire starter. Concepts that are timeless really.

What I'm saying with that is this, I suspect you know the ways of the heart too. I know I understand them, I never intended to be a parasite yet before I was born I was and that's pretty much what we all are until we are born, are we a parasite until we can stand on our own two feet and provide with our own hands?

Or are we all gardeners with the potential to grow anything anywhere?

Idk... I'd like to believe in the latter and I can only speak for myself. I can say I try to be a kid at heart and it's always nice to shine for another when their day is dull. Essentially these are the kind of choices we all make on our journeys, fundamentally I suspect it is all a choice including the journey itself.

Metaphysically speaking we're all parasites including the plants, even the sun cannibalised it's sisters way before. Yet, it's the sole provider for everything living thing on this planet in one way or another.

a reply to: Compendium

I'm just an overgrown kid in reality who's drinking too much caffeine whether it's tea or coffee. The choice is obvious to me. Have that energy be of use instead of nuisance!



Apologies for the long post Secretknowledge, I do waffle on. I don't find an easy way to convey...

a reply to: Draculad

Wow, great reply thank you.

Yes i am a gardener, the satisfaction from helping others, be it human, animal, a plant needing trimming. Is very nice for me.
Giving and helping emphatically is so fulfilling.
It comes easy for me to be this way, it is my only way now. Has been for about 3 years now. To me, this way IS humanity, given from within to oneself.
I am free, i give to receive. When i receive i become lighter and brighter.

Because of where i am on my journey, love is The All. The prize. Im limited by words, and typing.

Sheet, just got a call i gotta go out. I'll be back later, thanks again for replying Draculad, very insightful reading

Apologies for the long post Secretknowledge, I do waffle on. I don't find an easy way to convey...

Hey, waffle away my friend, as ive said my vocabulary is limited so its good to read your posts no problem whatsoever

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge2
a reply to: Compendium

Why do they choose certain people?

That is a really good question

I cannot say for certain

But from what I understand, only those who are ready to walk certain paths are ever offered them

It serves no purpose to initiate those who have no eyes to recognise what is being offered to them

"You cannot force a baby without teeth, to chew steak"

When I was first initiated, I went to speak with the highest ranking members of each of the religious faiths in my area. All except for the Jewish Church, as there are no Jews in Darwin, Australia. My light friends have said, that the Jewish people have been very clearly told, that they are not allowed in Darwin. Something to do with their belief in being "Gods chosen", being incompatible with the much older and more sacred Aboriginal traditions native to this land

I was sitting at the park across from my house, speaking with a couple of the local Christian preachers

During our conversations, something in the back of my mind told me to look up. I looked up, just as a swarm of possibly thousands of birds flew in overhead. A murmuration, where the birds fly in all direction, making amazing patterns in the sky. They flew backwards and forth overhead in a way that seemed, almost obviously, as if they were dancing in the sky just for us

I watched in awe at how beautiful it was

The Christians preaching to me, were too busy picking Bible verses and preaching to even notice. I had to point it out to them, in order for them to even look. And even then, they only looked for a couple of seconds, before they returned to talking about the Bible

I was a little shocked by the fact that they were oblivious to just how amazing it was

Then, as the birds flew off, the same voice in the back of my mind, told me to look again

This time an orb of glowing white, wispy light flew over. Like a churning ball of glowing white lace, fluttering in the wind

It flew in from the ocean, and came to sit no more than 200 ft off the ground, stopping directly over the top of my house

Again, I was amazed. Pointing it out to them, thinking that this has to get their attention

They both looked up. Again, for no more than a few seconds, before they immediately looked away and continued preaching the Bible to me

I felt an incredible sadness as I came to realise something incredibly profound about why "those of the light" would be speaking to someone like me, but not to those like the Christians I was sitting with

Because they believe they have all they need, they have no drive to seek more

Because they believe they know all there is to know, they have no sense of wonder

Therefore, there is no point trying to show them anything greater. Because they simply will not see it, or will not care

Or worse still, they will simply reject it, because it does not fit with all the things they think they know and have been told

"You cannot fill a cup, which is already full"

They have no love for the mysteries themselves, to want to seek them. They love only the writings of the mysteries, which they can use to claim ownership over the uncertainty in this world

In many ways, it is the ultimate form of pride. To arrogantly believe you understand things which are, by their nature, not intended to be understood

Though you cannot blame fearful hearts, for finding beauty within the sense of safety offered within the writings and a promise of salvation

No more than you can blame a child for being afraid of the dark

I felt sad for them, because they wanted so much to help me with what I was going through, offering me the same sense of beauty and safety they found within their own belief. But they were essentially, like children trying to kiss their parents wounds better

Because that is all they have to offer

There was a beauty and innocence within them, that was as profound as my realisation that they could never be helped, or offered the things they sought, without also being hurt

No matter how much they wanted these things. It simply served no purpose to ever offer it to them

Because nothing could ever be as perfect to them, as the nature of their own belief

I realise that there was nothing that the Churches could offer me, to help with what I was going through

And there was little I could offer them, that they would ever accept

They barely paid attention to an angelic glowing orb of light appearing in the sky, right above their heads

Would hope would they ever have of hearing things they don't want to hear?

The Facebook page for the NT News, posted about the orb and had hundreds of people commenting on it, many claiming to have seen it

The thing that got me, is that one of the Christians I had been speaking with, commented on the post, saying "I saw it, it was an Angel"

Yet they had no time for it, when it was right in front of them

They are not ready to be shown these things
They are not ready to seek a greater understanding

It seems that only those who have wide eyes, to wondrous things, are worth showing such things to

In my case, when I first saw orbs of light, which are often referred to as "The Min Min Light" in Australia. I immediately went after them and tried to get their attention and communicate using Morse code on my phones flashlight

The Min Min Light

I thought they were the most incredible thing I had ever seen

I have been told, that out of the countless people worldwide who experience phenomena such as this, very few of them ever have the presence of mind to try communicate

The fact that I did, apparently made me "interesting"

People who would think and act in such a way are apparently considered "active intelligence", as opposed to the majority of people with "passive intelligence", who are content to just let experiences such as this happen "to" them, rather than try to actively participate

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge2
a reply to: Compendium

I have gone through catharsis, pain of past. Ive been a long term drug addict, i became homeless for five years, lost contact with my son because of this, had no love from either parent. Grew up as a young one seeing and knowing they had no time for any of me or my siblings, who i raised as i am the eldest. Left school at 14 to do so.
Lost the only person who i ever received from, an ex girlfriend.
I was down so low i could only go one direction. Up.

Catharsis is a very deep and complicated process

It is by far the most painful and confronting process of purging your soul form

It sounds to me as though you have indeed gone through a process of identifying and dealing with pain from your past

But there is a little more to it

Catharsis is not only recognising and dealing with your own pain from the past

It is also about identifying the pain which you have may have caused the world your time

Also, more importantly, through this process, it is about coming to understand the nature of pain itself

The more you come to understand its nature, the more your eyes open to pain all around you, that you may not have been aware of before

It becomes incredibly confronting, as you open yourself in such a way, as you may begin to take on responsibility for pain around you, that you have little control over

But this is part of the process to balancing understanding of pain within your internalised self (initiation) and your ability to see, and feel the pain of the world around you (ascension)

The best way to go about this, is to make a conscious note of the things from you past you have done, which you may regret, or may keep you up at night

Within recognising these things, you need to make an effort to repay a price that you feel you owe to the world, when the opportunity to do so presents itself

If you remember hurting someone, consider contacting that person to apologise. Let them know that you still think about it sometimes and you regret it

These actions need be honest and heartfelt, in order to be meaningful

You do not need to offer them a pound of your flesh. Only your sincerity and remorse

I am not saying that you go digging up things which may cause more pain for others, or yourself (or possibly get you arrested)

Only that you try find a compromise of some sort, that will give them peace which they may not have

Whilst taking a burden or regret off your shoulders, so it can no longer keep you up at night

This is what is shown in the Egyptian hieroglyphs in texts such as the book of the dead, where the heart of the initiate is weighed on a set of scales against a feather

Every effort you make to unburden your conscience, makes your heart lighter and lighter

The lighter your heart is, the greater that feeling of glow within your soul will get

Say you once stole from someone, but you do not know that person, and have no way to find them to apologise or make amends?

Then work out some way to give back to the world itself, so that you can forgive yourself

Remember within this process, that you only need be genuine in what you do. Though it is amazing when you contact someone you hurt to apologise and they forgive you, it is more about being able to forgive yourself, even if they do not

Because at the end of your time here, it is yourself that you will stand in judgement before, who will judge you more harshly than anyone else can

It is about liberating your soul

Not only from the pain of the past you have felt. But the pain of the past you have caused

You will find, that this process becomes like peeling the layers of an onion

The more pain you peel back and the more tears you shed, the more pain surfaces, that you may have not even been aware was there before

Things you did not know had hurt your soul so badly

People you may not even have been aware that you had hurt so badly

Within this process, do not be afraid to cry

Crying is how the body uncoils the pain we bury within the very composition of our cellular structure

You know that strange taste you get in the back of your throat when you cry? That is pain leaving the body

The more you work on opening the blockages and allowing the pain to leave you, the more pain will surface

Within the practice of this process, you come to an understanding of things that you never want to do again

You know what hurt you, and you know how long and hard it was to bleed it from every cell in your body ...

So you become very reluctant to do these things again. Instinctively

And within this, you become more attuned to recognising these types of pains around you

These practices all tie together, in a way where you will find yourself getting lighter and lighter, every day that you allow yourself to be open to the process, and trusting in it

You will eventually find that your "fears" are based somewhat upon an aversion to the pains of your past

The more you let go of the pains, and have eyes to recognise what you do not wish to repeat, the lesser your fears of the future become

The two play into each other

Most importantly, do not be afraid of the process itself

It will likely break your heart into a million little pieces, many times over

You will cry more tears, than you ever realised you had in you

But the feeling of peace it will bring you, is beyond compare

There is no other way to pass through the flame. You must burn off all pain attached to you. Even the pain you do not realise you carry, or have caused

This is why it is called "catharsis". To purge with fire. Because it f#%king hurts!

This is the same process described in the labours of Hercules and many other historical texts

One that many forsake

Christians imitate this process with their "confession", but it does not work in the way that they believe it does

Telling a priest and saying some prayers does not clear your conscience and pay a debt to your "karma" in this world. It merely buries it within you

It is a nice token gesture to believe you are forgiven. But you never really forgive yourself that way

You need to make the effort. So you can look yourself in the eyes. Forgive yourself and find peace

This process takes a very long time

In some ways, it never ends

It just gets easier with time, as we get wiser to the influence of our own light

It is worth pointing out, that this is a process which you undergo "as it comes". It is not something that you need invest your immediate time into

It is just something you do, as you come to remember things you may have done, or those you may have hurt

You will find that the world will come to give you incredibly perfect opportunities to apologise, give back or make amends for the things you need make amends for

You merely need to be conscious of such need, and look out for the opportunities to atone as they are presented

Like, running into someone you need apologise to, or being asked to donate to a cause similar to something you once stole from

Even buying a feed for someone who is hungry, because you have once known what it is to be hungry

This feeds your soul in a way, which you may never have known, had you not once been hungry, to recognise it will cost you nothing to feed a stranger, when you are able

It brings light into everything you experienced, that makes it all worthwhile

Whilst promoting a wisdom within you, that money cannot buy

a reply to: SecretKnowledge2

One important consideration for you, is that within everything we do in this world, we have a choice of two main ways in which we can exist

We can exist within CREATION

Or we can exist within DECAY

The reflection of which within our hearts, is the measure between LOVE and PAIN

The reason that most people find themselves feeling lost within this world, is because they live in a way which they take more from this world, than they offer back to it

This is, essentially, living in decay

These types of people find themselves seeking more and more way to fill the emptiness of this decay within them. More possessions. More money. More social status

All materialistically trying to fill a sense of decay, which is existential in nature

A good way to measure all that you do and offer the world, is to think about whether you are working for CREATION, where you are giving something back to this world in one way or another

This does not mean you should not aspire to have nice things in your life and be comfortable

Only that you should seek to give back an equal measure to the world, in gratitude for all of that which you are lucky to have

When you live within a mindset of CREATION, things such as LOVE become very easy

And things such as PAIN, become that which inspires the need for your creative mindset

I digress here a little, as I think this is relative to what Ray commented, rather than you

But I thought it would be helpful to touch on regardless

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge2
a reply to: Compendium

AS you know im only beginning my journey.

My vocabulary is limited from years of drug abuse. Heroin numbs the brain.

But i understand everything you write of.

I have a question for you.

What or where are you with your journey now?

I am in the second half of the process referred to as "Ascension"

The best way to describe it, is when you take everything you have come to understand within initiation, and carry it out to the world

My offering you whatever I can, that may be helpful to you in your journey, is the essence of what ascension is supposed to mean

Within initiation, you make sacrifices to gain certain understanding, wisdom and knowledge

Within ascension, you find ways to use that to benefit the world around you. In whatever way you possibly can

Initiation: To go into - The inward journey of self-understanding. To know the nature and truth of who you are, and your connection to the source of the universe

Ascension: To go out from - The outward journey of the greater good. To seek to bring balance and peace to the complexity of the world as your external body from. And give back in whatever way you can, for what you have been lucky enough to receive

In the Sumerian tradition, the initiates are depicted as fish people, or fisherman. Pisces, the fish/fisherman. Those that go within (hence waters) to consider the truth of the nature of their self, and their position within the universe

The ascended are depicted as having wings, or a bird head. Shown sometimes planting a seed in the back of others heads, symbolic of passing on their knowledge. Also shown carrying a bucket of water, symbolic of carrying forth the waters (wisdom) of their initiation. Aquarius, the water-bearer, that Jesus (the fisherman) said would come to follow him

He was talking about a process of receiving from the waters of creation (the light) and then giving back to the waters (enlightenment)

I very reluctantly say that I am going through the process of ascension, as I still feel I have an impossible amount left to learn myself

The only reason I say it, is because the circumstances of my life surrounding me, has made it difficult for me to deny that I can no longer technically be considered an initiate

To the point where "birds" of all kinds, have very obviously and literally began to take over my life

I am constantly surround by, feeding, or otherwise somehow interacting with birds of all sorts. Eagles, Cockatoo, Corella, Galah, Parrots, Pigeons, Bush turkeys, Chicken, Geese, Pigeons, Doves and Finches

White doves, carrying sprigs in their mouth, exactly like the dove of Catholicism

I started regarding them, helping injured birds, or taking care of a couple that needed me

Now I am going through around 40KG of seed a month. Feeding an entire ecosystem

It may sound a little abstract, or a long bow to draw, but I assure you. It has all happened to very intentionally send me a message, or something that I would otherwise deny myself

I still do not like the sound of saying it

Only because of the common perception associated with the term "Ascension", which is actually far removed from what the process actually is

Or at least, in my understanding

It does not mean, as is commonly perceived, that someone is divine in nature, or is somehow superior in nature to other within this world

It merely means that one is in a process of aligning with the world, as an external mirror of their internal self. In such a way that they contribute to creation and the greater good

You first come to understand you own nature and connection with the world

Then you seek to understand the external nature of that connection

You seek to love the world, in order to love yourself

And by doing so, you, and the world around, become as one

There are many variables and things to be understood within this of course, it is not as simple as it sounds

But that is the basics of it

There complicated part, is first finding a balance within yourself, whereby any influence you cast upon the world, will be towards love and creation. Rather than pain and decay

We learn to very easily manipulate the way a person acts and thinks, due to our understanding of how the mind works and connects to the greater (energetic) spheres of influence

Within this, we can very easily do a person more harm than good, regardless of our intention

We can easily hurt people, unintentionally, through their instinct to fight what they sense as an external and foreign influence

We could have the best of intentions, but end up destroying someones equilibrium

It is a very fine line to walk

The more powerful you alignment is to this world, and your ability to influence those around you. The more dangerous and destructive the nature of your influence can be

Again, this is why the purge process is the very first thing that most people go through

You need to have a mind free of pain, and a heart free from fear. Or you risk passing your pain and fear on to others, who may be very susceptible to your particular flavours of pain and fear

Some may be attuned in such a way that it does not bother them

To others, it may be as destructive as anything they have ever encountered

The deeper we go into our abilities to align this world, the finer a line we walk between our ability to create or decay that which we interact with

Initiation is about overcoming limitations within youself

Ascension is about overcoming limitations within your influence on the world

You find balance within yourself
Then you seek balance within your external self (the world)

For many, ascension also brings something referred to as "affliction"

The suffering of an unknown sickness

This is a little similar to a "reverse sync" with the world, whereby our physical bodies take on a degree of sickness, which can be likened to existential sickness within the world itself

Affliction can be debilitating and scary

As you wonder how your body can possibly be failing you, when you are doing so much right for the first time in your life

It feels to me, going through it, like the last layer in the process

A need to overcome the limitation of the flesh, as it is imposed upon you in PAIN. As an equal to the measure of CREATION, by which you were blessed with your body/gateway

Like everything else, it has intended meaning in its process

I can now relate some measure of prolonged physical suffering, to those who suffer through far worse than I have

Affliction sucks. It hurts, allot!

But with everything being as it is, compared to the person I could be today, and the things I could be suffering? I cannot complain

I had a past very similar to your own, where I abused my body in way that I feel lucky enough to still be here and be breathing

So I cannot complain

It is all part of the process

And much like my namesake Samael Aun Weor, I know that if I come to succumb to the affliction and die, then there will be some type of intended purpose and design behind it

Or all experience and existence would have no point

I do not want to leave, if given the choice

But I am ready to accept whatever it is that comes to be

a reply to: Compendium

Ok, so.

That was a brilliant telling of your orb experience. Amazing occurrence, great thought to try communicate with it.

I have no belief in religion, i actually despise the catholic church in particular (Ireland is predominately catholic) because of the Pope being, literally, the head of what i see as a pedophile organisation.
They never sacked the priests back in those days they just moved them to a different diocese to continue on their vileness. Through my eyes, not experience, they are a disgusting bunch.
Anyhow.

Anytime ive met someone who i even slagged off back in the darker days, ive made sure to apologise. Its natural to me. I am a decent person, was never a nasty thief, robber, addict. Ive always worked. A working addict if you like. I dont ever recall stealing. Helping others is natural to me also, im a good skin. Just so much better now.
Last week i had to weedkill around a soccer pitch, were i work, and was apologising to the weed, the maggots, ants etc. i could see running out from it.
They are life i killed, weed and all. I didnt like doing it.
I do really need to write down past bad behaviour, ut i honestly wont have many people on that list. Probably family as they seen how bad i was. But then again they all helped as best they could when i was homeless. But they all have families now so i couldnt stay with them much.
I have run across a road down the street to someone who i borrowed money off and never paid back. Gave it back to them with a handshake and he thanked me. Said he always knew i was decent and was sorry for my experiences. I burst into tears, right there on a busy main street. Felt great. Care not i didnt who seen me walking away crying my eyes out. Felt good, proud of myself. Crying now re-thinking it.

A few times ive made it up with people. People can be so nice, decent. They understand me. I say i may not be good with wording here, but face to face ive no problem apologising.

Ive been this way since i stopped the heroin abuse. Stopping that opened me up again. It numbs the brain, nasty drug.
Most if not nearly every time i meet people who i havnt seen in years will tell me something they remember i said to them. Or what we laughed about one day. I know im well liked, i know im loved (friends).

I will never tell a lie, to you nor anyone. I cant do it, just cant.

Creation.

I most def am existing within creation.

Im forever offering neighbours, workmates, friends, help. People know im available to them for help in any way i can.
Last summer i painted five of the neighbours front walls. Where i work now, for a soccer team i do allsorts not just paint. I ask workmates if they need me just ask, which they do. They know im good.

Just by having Light Beings around me i walk tall. Bursting with confidence. Today's the day we all meet up. I too live right beside the beach, a 10 minute walk. The soccer stadium is a 100 metres to the beach. I too have a park across the road. Loves me that salty sea air.
I gotta leave, im wallpapering a friends place now, up in the mountains. I live between the mountains and the sea on the east coast of Ireland, in a town called Bray. Beautiful place. Mountains are a five minute drive.

Thank you for your words im really enjoying it. I'll be back this evening, cheers.

My apologies for my last post being all in bold

I stuffed up the formatting it would seem

a reply to: SecretKnowledge2

What are your fears?

Be honest about it

You don't have to tell me, but consider them honestly for yourself

Fear is a function of the heart, based in future

Things which could be, which may or may not come to bring you pain

It is irrational because of the fact that though it is based of dangers and things which are real, fear itself does not exist

There is a really good clip from the movie "After Earth" which perfectly describes the nature of fear. I'll include it below. Think about what he says very carefully

You do not often get Hollywood movies, promoting understanding such as this

I was surprised to see it

Remember that fears includes bad habits, dark urges, and anything within you, that you may try to repress, struggle to control, or worry others may find out about

Again, do not need to tell me these things ...

You just need consider them, and the nature of what pain within you could be tied to your carry such things

a reply to: Compendium



I can't say I ever left "initiation" I've still got a bit of an ego but I've also got the pain and failing bits of the body, I'm far enough along to put myself to some use though which is more than enough for me. Especially given the comparison of the past.

Orbs don't bother me so much anymore but I'm also not bothering the light bulbs as much... Just laughing at myself ATM since I'm fully aware of how crazy it all sounds but I honestly don't care

Just wanted to post a depressingly hilarious song!



If I was Cupid, I'd be melting the lead for fishing weights and melting the gold for wedding gifts. Nobody needs shooting anymore... The bow can become a harp, speaking metaphorically ofcourse.

You're a good egg Compendium, keep on keeping on

a reply to: Compendium

Man,why, no, not why.

Why should i have fear? I been to hell and back.

Right now at this moment in my life, i have one fear. My ankles giving out on me. I smashed to pieces both of them after jumping through a third floor window 25 odd years ago. Now they giving me small problems. The surgeons couldnt put any metal plates to save them as both were in smithereens. They had to heal whichever way they did naturally.
Being really honest, i dont have any fear.

Should everyone fear something?

I can handle any situation. A few weeks ago there was a bad car accident on the main street here. An old lady driver had a heart attack and creamed two pedestrians.
I was second at the scene. I kept my sheet together. We thought one was dead, the other her leg was almost severed at the knee.
The first person was reassuring both that help was coming. I knelt down beside the one that was unconscious. Took her hand, closed my eyes. I asked for divine help from my Light Beings. Again and again i asked for help for this lady.
I felt a warmth coming from her into me. I started to cry. She came round asking me why was she on the ground.
Pandemonium behind us. Kids screaming, women screaming. Everyone with their phones recording.

Im trying to say no situation scares me.

I jumped through that window because of two house thiefs stabbing, slashing me. People ask/say so sorry to hear that, about my ankles.
Man i feel the opposite, im lucky i survived. Lucky to be alive.

This post is a quick reaction to your question.

I shall ponder it deeper tonight.

I dont fear death. I dont fear loneliness. Im loved. I am love. I am free.

I gotta think about that question, deeper.

Im an open book. I shall not lie. Ive nothing to hide.

Thanks to you and Draculad, youz both have excellent hearts

a reply to: SecretKnowledge2

Give a few months buddy then read this thread again, I get migraines when I'm disseminating (spreading) information on my brain. Then, I find the bit of the bread that was missing the butter.

Again with the metaphors eh?

I mailed you btw, all the best Secretknowledge2

a reply to: Draculad

I didnt receive the mail mate, try again. And thanks again.

Keep them metaphors coming

a reply to: Compendium


Ive been thinking a lot about what do i fear. The only thing i fear are my ankles giving in on me and i either use a walking stick or wheelchair. One of them is much worse than the other, if it came to it, i'd amputate it. Get a fake foot.

I dont fear anything. I honestly dont.

Im being honest i really dont. My life and everything that goes with it is good now. I dont fear pain, physical. I dont fear death. Ive no fears about my future and none from my past.

Should i fear something? Why?

Surely not everyone has a fear.

Is this because ive been through what ive talked about already? I believe so. All that bad crap from a young lad onward.
Also, because i have super real lucid dreams with Light Beings, my happiness has elevated even further im always in good form, humour.

I dont fear losing my job. I was offered an office job a month ago which would have trebled my income. No thanks i'd rather work outdoors in the football/soccer pitch.

I have a good handle on things. In Ireland we call it "cop on". Like awareness. I know i can easily get another job im a very good talker with a semi decent working brain.

Im being very honest here.

I dont fear loneliness, i have 3 women on the go at the moment. They've all got their own places. So i enjoy my time on my own.
Im forever being complimented. Ive lost count how many women have told me im glowing. Only yesterday a girl called me shiny. I must radiate happiness, i always greet people with a smile. I dont fear losing that type of compliments as i will always be a good skin.

Im not depressive, im the complete opposite. Never have been depressed.

Yesterday only exists in your head and if people could realise that they cant do anything about it, we'd have a lot more mentally healthy people about.

Memories are still images from your past, if you dont like some of them, put them in a box and throw it away.
Thats what i say to people who may be that way. I totally get that its harder than that to do, but its how ive dealt with my past.
Its been, gone, done. Cant change it, so f*** it and move on. Theres an inner strength to be gained from that.

I dont know what else i can say right now this minute, work beckons.

Fear of old age? No, that brings more wisdom.


So, thats my honest opinion Compendium.

No horse crap, no lie, all truth.

Have a fantastic day friend.

I understand we are talking about the fear of future.
What i have listed is all part of my future.

a reply to: SecretKnowledge2

Yesterday, I had one of my chicks who was no more than 2 days old die, after its Mum rejected it and attacked it. Injuring it pretty badly

I tried giving it to a friend to help it, and it survived the first day, but unfortunately it passed the following day

I can say, that I understand that this is just the reality of how life is
I can say, that I did my best, and that it was not my fault

But there is pain within this regardless. There is regret for things I could have done differently

Whether I feel it, or choose to allow myself to feel it. The pain is real

From this, I have decided that I will try to minimise the amount of chicks that this particular Mumma bird is allowed to have in future

To try prevent her from rejecting any of them

This is a fear (of future), which is enacted by a pain (of the past)

They may seem like very small things. But they exist, and they are active processes of how the conscious mind works

Their effect on me may be very slight emotionally, to the point of seeming inconsequential ...

But if there was not pain, I would not have tried to save the chick. If there was not fear, I would not make considerations about what I could have done differently, to better handle the situation in future

The pain, no matter how slight, gave me a fear perspective of the future, which has changed the way I think and relate to the world around me

For the purposes of not repeating in future, the things which caused me pain once

This is just the first example that came to my head. I could think of countless, if needed

Very real examples of pain and fear, which occur in every day life, and affect the alignment of the soul in ways much deeper than most people realise

It is not as simple as saying "I do not have pain", or "I do not fear"

All this means is that you have a shell which has not quite been fully cracked open yet

Do not get me wrong, there is virtue within things like strength, courage and control over your emotions

Do not think I am disputing that you are being honest in everything you say, because I am not

I have stood almost exactly where you are, in terms of things like pain and fear. I understand you are presenting your emotional self genuinely

All I am saying, is that the purpose of examining the pain of past, and your fears of future, is not to prove that you have dealt with these things, or have control of them, or lack them in any way

It is exactly the opposite

It is to understand and acknowledge their process within you

It is to understand the nature of what they are

It is to recognise these things, within the world around

Because within understanding their nature, we become more and more attuned to how they help to evolve us both within both our spiritual and physical forms

There are many people in this world (not referring to you), who believe that being in control of ones pain and fear, means burying the emotional reactions associated within the passing of one to the other

This can work amazingly for a long time, until it doesn't

You are right that there is an inner strength in putting away, ignoring, or choosing not to acknowledge things which cannot be controlled or changed

But regardless of how small and insignificant these types of things may seem, they create blockages within our light body

"Putting things away in a box" is how we repress things

And I understand that it is very effective

I worked as a bouncer for many years, and I could honest say, that I had felt little fear, even for things such as death

But I came to discover, it was not because these things did not exist within me

It is because I had become so adept at controlling my emotions, that I had been numbed to all but the most horrendous of pain and fear

When I started working, I would get scared within dangerous situations, or having to fight with someone

At the end of my time working as a bouncer, I would wake on an entire group of people myself, with nothing more than rage for the fact they were making me do something I did not want to do (I do not like violence, though I seem to be good at it when needed)

I was so in control of my emotions, that I would be more annoyed with the fact that I needed to feel anger

That I had to to feel anything but content apathy

I was not depressed. I was not a bitter or nasty person. For the most part, I was a happy and well liked person

Who would get annoyed when I had to assert myself, or people would try take advantage of my good nature

Emotional control is something that is explicitly linked within drug abuse, that I know as well as anyone who has gone down that path for a prolonged period of time

Emotional disassociation and apathy is not something that necessarily needs be linked to depression, or a negative mindset

One of the happiest and genuinely loving and well-liked people I know, also suffers from one of the deepest emotional disassociation I have ever seen

She will sometimes feel nothing, when she should be feeling things like deep emotional pain, or fear

Other times, she will cry over the simplest little thing, without being fully aware of why she is even crying

This is what I mean by your shell has not quite been cracked yet

Bleeding light is one thing, and it is amazing

But learning to control its flow, should be the ultimate goal

This involves being intimately aware of, and in tune with not only the processes of your pain and fear, no matter how slight these things may be

But the processes within those around you

In much the same way that people are able to "see your light"

Your goal should be to train yourself to "see their pain"

Because within such, the light you shine finds a course and purpose

If you have nothing discernible that you can feel you need work on ...

Then look to examine small processes in your daily life, like the one I mentioned with my baby bird

The more you study the interactions, the more they will become obvious in how other people act around you

Till eventually, you will begin to understand how people are feeling and why they are feeling that way, intuitively

To a point that they themselves may not be aware of

Think of it like a muscle that you exercise

Combined with certain other exercises, like pattern recognition within language, and bi-directional (non-linear) thinking ...

It will get to the point where within certain conversations, you will be able to predict exactly what a person is going to say

I speak with people, and I think their answers in my head, before they speak them out loud

It is not because I am psychic. But because I have been practicing reading emotional cause and effect, constantly, for many years now

It even works in the opposite, where you are able to emotionally "steer" someone

But I will not get into that here, other than to say, that if you practice it enough, there are situations where you do not even need to "try" to emotionally align with the person you are talking to

You will do it without meaning to, like an instinct

This is the key to emotional projection. That allows you to not only project your light, but control exactly how and where it goes ...

And to what effect

Again, it is like exercising a muscle

The first steps of which, are recognising the patterns of cause and effect, within things like emotional reflection and interaction

a reply to: Compendium

In much the same way that people are able to "see your light"
Your goal should be to train yourself to "see their pain"
Because within such, the light you shine finds a course and purpose

I am already a very good reader of people. Between being an addict and all the liars that are in that environment, to playing poker for a living for a few years. In poker you must be able to read if a person is bluffing or not. Little tells will give them away without them even knowing it.
"Dont bullsh1t a bullsh1tter" very true.

I totally understand what you're saying to me.
I was thinking of literal life fears. But who knows what the future holds.

i am a messenger for some divine/ entity/universal message machine/ the Universal postman lol.
I used to question why me, now i have accepted it.

I understand your excellent post

This here

Till eventually, you will begin to understand how people are feeling and why they are feeling that way, intuitively

I can already do this, not every single time, but a good few times im correct. I can read people fairly easily from the addiction and the poker. And by just being aware in situations. Most things and words a person does and say, tells a lot about them. How they carry themselves.

To help people with pain, i give to receive.I give them my help, empathy, emotional help if they need it.
In return i feel brighter and lighter. and a sense of fulfillment. I also learn from it.

I feel im doing very good Compendium.

Not exactly of what you speak of, but fairly close to it. Im getting there.

My shell shall open, light the light show begin !!!

Love and Starlight, SecretKnowledge

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge2
a reply to: Draculad

I didnt receive the mail mate, try again. And thanks again.

Keep them metaphors coming

I received your email.

Thank you so much. We shall chat good near in the future

a reply to: Compendium

What you said about people feeling lost because they feel they take more away from the world than give was really interesting and enlightening for me.

Have you ever tried loving the decay, death and pain? Like really loved it like Nature does (She loves those damn cockroaches…and they literally are terrible little creatures, they eat each other from traps for example and each others poop. I live in FL so I know them all too well). Animals are also pretty terrible to each other and their young in the name of survival or maybe just unconscious malice which will feed a hungry predator (as you mentioned). Don’t get me started on people…but we judge each other (ourselves) so harshly because we feel we’re so intelligent.

The fear is becoming the decay, which isn’t desirable. Nature is so creative and doesn’t just destroy. I haven’t found the perfect balance/alchemy in myself yet that mirrors Her…or Life.

originally posted by: AcrobaticDreams1
a reply to: Compendium

The fear is becoming the decay, which isn’t desirable. Nature is so creative and doesn’t just destroy. I haven’t found the perfect balance/alchemy in myself yet that mirrors Her…or Life.

Very good 👍😊

The fear is within becoming the decay

But also the key to understanding the very nature of things such as beauty exists within decay

This is because it is limitation within our cycles, that gives value to the wonderful, beautiful and amazing things in this world

Life is precious, because it is fragile and fleeting

If we could live forever, then such a life would hold little meaning

Whether a woman realises it or not, the thing that makes it feel so special when she receives flowers, and holds them to her chest, drinking in their scent ...

Is that they are dying

She will only get to hold them and experience them for a short fleeting moment in life, but during that time they represent a form of love that is more wholly and completely hers, than likely anything else she will ever know

In they final days, those beautiful flowers will give everything they have and everything they are ...

And all of it, is for her

It is a pure form of love. The complete sacrifice of everything beautiful it will ever be, just for her

Plastic flowers on the other hand, that will no die?

Do not carry the same value, and are nowhere near as special

It all comes back to the saying; Without having tasted lemon, could you still say sugar sweet?

Loving the decay, is the key to understanding the beauty of our experiences in this world

In my underworld journey, I encountered entities darker than can be described in words. The very source of personified concepts little the Devil and Baphomet

And when I looked into their eyes, like DEEP into their eyes, all I found was incredibly deep pain

One was as deep and dark as anything I have ever looked into

But behind it, was a being so beautiful, it is hard to put into words

A being that was ready to be hated and despised, simply because there are those lost within this world that need something to hate

Sometimes it is within our fear of knowing or becoming the decay, that we breathe life into such things

Those who have been given very little in this world, taking whatever they can. Doing to others, what has been done to them

Those too afraid to love, because their heart has been broken before

It very often becomes, that we personify the decay, that we seek to avoid

This is why it is important to understand the relationship between pain (past) and fear (future)

It allows us to recognise that every pain we have ever endured, leads us to the wisdom of our future selves

Rather than being victim to our past, we become a student of the path we have walked

We can grow wiser in the way we see the world and interact within it, without detracting from the beauty of being allowed to feel the full flavours and colours of our experience

Our experiences bring us into opening our internal light, rather than closing it off or guarding it

With regards to the cockroaches?

I often feed cockroaches a tiny little portion of what I am eating for dinner

It is to the point where they will see me at night and they will poke their heads out, exactly where I leave the food. Waiting to see if I'll give them dinner

They are no different from a dog, bird, or any other creature who understands and recognises something being provided for them that they need to survive

I figure, if they are going to live in my house, they may as well be happy and healthy

It costs me nothing, bar a little bit of discomfort and cleaning

Gentleness of the spirit is a virtue that costs very little

And though bugs and other animals may seem inconsequential, every life you save, is life given

I will still kill an animal, if I want to eat it, or it is causing some type of problem

But I will do whatever I can to avoid it. Or warn it

Like trapping the rats in my roof, and taking them for a short drive out into the bushland to release them

Whereas my housemate would simply kill them

Even if you have no care for these creatures or killing them, the weight of these things accumulates on your soul

It affects the way the world interacts with you, in ways that most people do not realise

The kinder and gentler I am to the world, the more it regards me

And this is something significant to the soul

Like opening a door to an immensely powerful light, that you did not realise had been closed

I once delivered a warning I had been asked to deliver, personally, to the Catholic Church

Which was punctuated, in perfect timing, by the biggest and most beautiful wasp I had ever seen, landing gently on the tip of my outstretched finger, the exact moment I delivered the warning

I felt an immense sense of joy and love in that moment, as I admired the wasp before it flew away

In that moment, the beauty of creation and connection to it's source that they call "God" was not with them. It was, indisputably, within the warning being given to them

They were (and still are) the decay

Decay of their own creation, which they became in their efforts to avoid becoming such

You get the idea

And ... Incidentally, If someone like the Pope comes to succumb to a wasp bite in future, you will know why

a reply to: Compendium

It is very important to be compassionate. I too do not kill bugs (I catch and release) but I also don’t let them stay in my house and spray to deter them. Cockroaches breed and I’m not wanting to wake up to some in my bed even if they are just living their life like I am!

The thing about evil beings, demons and such, which is sounds like you are aware they exist. Some people/beings delight in ‘entropy/negativity/evil’. On some level they eventually need to join the fold, somewhere someplace, but some really do just care more for themselves than you. Even if it means watching you die because it is their fantasy. There are some things that are truly dangerous. But even dangerous are beautiful in their own way…but real evil is pretty jarring. I like Krishna’s take on the need to battle but not being attached to it and allowing the universal force to flow through to be the one battling, essentially. Just as it is flowing through the death/decay.

a reply to: AcrobaticDreams1

There is no such thing as true evil, except within perception of such

There is only pain

Perception of concepts like "evil" are structures of blockage, which allow pain to persist, and cycles to of pain to repeat

No one cares, when none have eyes to see

I've seen the darkest things that kill and hate

It is all some form of pain, underneath

Or some type of misguided, or undeveloped innocence

Fantasy is something completely different, born of recycled emotionally disparity