Does Living with Friends Ever Work out?

originally posted by: halfoldman
[snip]

The housing arrangements were between three houses and 12 -16 people, all close friends.
Men and women, zero relationships. Amazingly EVERYONE else got along just fine, except with the girl I mentioned.
There were a lot of different schedules so sometimes they didn’t even see each other. You know that TV show Friends, we would joke they were just like that.

Well then, better watch that girl, because she's probably been smearing your name months before you even noticed.

Should you punch her in the noggin?
Yeah actually, but that would just confirm to everyone you're the crazy one.

Just do nothing for now and watch things unfold.

You want to be the booooring one.
Two word answers, nyeh, zzz, whatever.

The narcissist moves on to the next victim.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Can't even form an opinion without hearing both sides of the story.

originally posted by: HeirHeart
a reply to: JAGStorm

Can't even form an opinion without hearing both sides of the story.

That's fair, but I will say when the common denominator is a single person... usually the issue is that person.
The previous year she shared a house with a different group of people. They also are no longer friends with her
for the same reason. Unfortunately this group didn't see that as a red flag and went ahead and shared housing with her.
Same result. She has basically burned the entire friend group and not a single one of them is on speaking terms with her.

I'm not saying she is a horrible evil person. I do think she has issues and is probably best to live alone or with a same hygeine type of person. Not sure if she will ever come to the conclusion that the problem is her, especially with a mom that reinforces the never my fault attitude.

PS. all the roomates share the same political beliefs, are all on the same level economically, had similar home life, so it's not from core beliefs or politics. I really believe this is just from the way people live is different. Some really like things clean and in order, some don't and don't care that others do. Neither is right or wrong, but when you live in communal living there are certain rules that should be understood, clean up after yourself, especially in places like the bathroom and kitchens. Don't steal others food.

I know when I go into a public restroom and someone hasn't flushed, I saw a little cuss word and wonder how they were raised... now I know!

a reply to: JAGStorm

It's a policy of mine. It keeps me from being drawn into conflicts under false pretenses that I have no interest or business being in. I do mediation work, and it's like a prime directive to remain impartial. The instant you take a side, you lose trust on both sides.

How about this? I hope it all works out in everyone's best interests.

Well, when power-faiures here started, I started watching animated horror stories.

Easy to download quickly, and hours of horror.

What struck me though, especially the "true" stories, was the amount of "single white female" type stories.

When my parents attended Open Day, we were best friends.

Then I woke up, and she was staring at my bed.

Then I discovered everything smelled bad, because she only eats rotten meat.

This is a typical female-friend horror-story these days.

Having your very first apartment ruined.

With dudes, horror stories more likely, we wanna go to woods.

Long-term prognosis is we better make it work, because the days where the Western middle-class all expected their own house is over.

And if those expectations seem dashed, consider the rest of the world.

So what the narcissist wants you to jump on the table and defend yourself.
"I never said this, or didn't do that"!

And maybe you're right.

But that's narcissistic fuel.

Unless you want a life of drama, we shall starve them of that fuel.

"Sorry what country again? I don't think I know you"?
Now at this point they may go berserk and actually attack you.

Who's the crazy one now?

Triangulation - also with gifts.

"I got this air-fryer for you"?

Don't take it - but up to the wife, she wants the air-fryer.

Two months later: "You please do me this and this favor - I gave you an air-fryer".

originally posted by: halfoldman
So what the narcissist wants you to jump on the table and defend yourself.
"I never said this, or didn't do that"!

And maybe you're right.

But that's narcissistic fuel.

Unless you want a life of drama, we shall starve them of that fuel.

"Sorry what country again? I don't think I know you"?
Now at this point they may go berserk and actually attack you.

Who's the crazy one now?

Well you might be spot on. This girl is posting daily if not several times a day different quotes basically making her the victim.

The hilarious thing, everyone is ignoring her. She is seriously being Ghosted by about 15 people…

originally posted by: halfoldman
Triangulation - also with gifts.

"I got this air-fryer for you"?

Don't take it - but up to the wife, she wants the air-fryer.

Two months later: "You please do me this and this favor - I gave you an air-fryer".

Yes they did this quite often, especially the mom. I have something for you blah blah blah.
Lord have Mercy if you actually do need a favor. They will make it seem like they turned the earth for you.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I would tell your daughter to man up Jagstorm , decades ago I knew a guy who stank of BO and nobody said nothing bar me .

I sat Peter down and told him bluntly , I would rather say this to your face bud than behind your back because that is the way I am Chief flying brick , I gave him some toiletries and explained about showering after you come in from a hard days work and before you go to work if you are near people , her nickname would be stinky so the message got across .

I am a smoker with a useless sense of smell so if I am bringing it up it must be bad , I would open the bible to the bit that says Thou shall not steal and the bit that says Ask and ye shall receive .

In my world Jag if you get caught stealing you get your hand held down and it gets broken with a hammer and you will never work again in the area , I have seen this happen with my own eyes , sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind in life