To cat or not to cat advice needed

originally posted by: RonnieJersey
Let the cat make up her own mind, even if your daughter does take her to the new apartment, ask her to bring the cat back to visit -
Then she can decide where she would prefer to live.
Happiness is the most important thing, both for us and our animals!

she becomes very stressed when we put her in a cat carrier and in the car, so moving her several times is not an option. If only they could speak and tell us what THEY prefer

originally posted by: TruthJava
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

As a cat mom, I feel the cat would be happiest in his current home. They love room to roam around outside and they don't really like moving. There are exceptions though, and it depends on how closely your daughter and the cat are bonded. If the cat would grieve with her gone then maybe he should go with her. But otherwise, not.

I agree.
the two of them are very much bonded, but like I said in another post, it's not the first time my daughter goes away for a longer time, the cat was always fine. It's my daughter that wasn't fine because she misses her pet....

My common sense tells me that Angel should stay right here where she's always been

From what I read I think the cat should stay with you. Having the freedom to go outside vs going to an apartment and not being able to go outside sounds like a punishment. After spending 15 years ( the cats whole life) in the same routine I don’t think it would be best for the cat.

Maybe it’s time for her to get a new cat for her new place.

originally posted by: schuyler
Time for daughter to grow up. After all she's moving out. It's not about her and her needs; it's about the cat and cats are all about routine and familiarity. It's the epitome of entitlement to rip kitty out of the only environment it has ever known just so daughter can sleep with kitty and ignore her and leave her in an empty apartment all day while she does her thing. If she can't stand sleeping alone, time to get herself a boyfriend. How do you feel about that, Mom?

hmmm.... well that sounds about like all the things I'm thinking but not saying out loud
besides that she is moving with her boyfriend so she is not going to be alone.

I did tell her yesterday that I thought she was being selfish for wanting to take the cat... and then we got tears... and her boyfriend promising her a new kitten if she leaves this one here... and her father being mad at me for making his princess cry... ya know, the usual

Meanwhile I think we are starting to agree that she should get settled first before deciding on the cat

Thanks for all the replies (and if I didn't post back to you its only because I already said it in other replies, but I do value the input)
I think most agree that it would be better for Angel if she stays in the place she grew up, and keeps her freedom to go outside. And I think that this is exactly what is going to happen... probably will break my daughters heart though

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

You even considering it is nice, but I would keep in mind your cat is 15 and we all know how difficult moving is and it wouldn't get better for her final 3(hopefully maybe more) years, just a lot of stress and confusion.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Best for the cat, certainly at 15, is not to move if possible.
She'll probably look for someone else to cuddle up to at night but as long as there are loved ones around she'll be fine. The cat's in a lucky situation, living in her own territory for 15 years.
Taking her out of her territory will most likely cause a lot more stress then the cat missing out on your favorite human.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

You even considering it is nice, but I would keep in mind your cat is 15 and we all know how difficult moving is and it wouldn't get better for her final 3(hopefully maybe more) years, just a lot of stress and confusion.

I hope she has more then 3 years, my 2 oldest became 21...

originally posted by: Daalder
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Best for the cat, certainly at 15, is not to move if possible.
She'll probably look for someone else to cuddle up to at night but as long as there are loved ones around she'll be fine. The cat's in a lucky situation, living in her own territory for 15 years.
Taking her out of her territory will most likely cause a lot more stress then the cat missing out on your favorite human.

she does share her territory with other cats and a dog... but i agree

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I can imagine how I would feel if I were cooped up in an apartment after the wide open and outdoor spaces I have enjoyed for many years.
Senior years should be as stress-free as possible.

originally posted by: DontTreadOnMe
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I can imagine how I would feel if I were cooped up in an apartment after the wide open and outdoor spaces I have enjoyed for many years.
Senior years should be as stress-free as possible.

right... makes me wonder what my kid will do to me when I become a grey old lady that is unable to take care of herself. But maybe I can come live with her in her apartment?

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2

originally posted by: RonnieJersey
Let the cat make up her own mind, even if your daughter does take her to the new apartment, ask her to bring the cat back to visit -
Then she can decide where she would prefer to live.
Happiness is the most important thing, both for us and our animals!

she becomes very stressed when we put her in a cat carrier and in the car, so moving her several times is not an option. If only they could speak and tell us what THEY prefer

I only suggested a visit back to your home to see how kitty reacts -
If she is reluctant to leave, she obviously wants to stay.
Their actions speak volumes.
But now that you are saying she doesn't care for the car and cat carriers -
Keep Kitty at your house, the stress of moving will be too much at 15.
Keep her happy at all costs, your daughter can come visit!

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2

originally posted by: DontTreadOnMe
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I can imagine how I would feel if I were cooped up in an apartment after the wide open and outdoor spaces I have enjoyed for many years.
Senior years should be as stress-free as possible.

right... makes me wonder what my kid will do to me when I become a grey old lady that is unable to take care of herself. But maybe I can come live with her in her apartment?

Only if you don't want to go out in the garden!

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Cat stays with you.
Daughter is now an adult and so has to make adult decisions, not "wants", not her wants, but the best for the cat.
Cat has been fine before.
May I recommend she get a new cat, or a hamster? She's young and will most likely hardly be home.
To take the outside away from the cat would be cruel, my thinking.
All the best to all of you.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I do not own cats, I am owned BY cats. They are watching my every keystroke to make sure I type the exact words they approve of.

Moving an older cat from its territory is going to mess with them more than anything. To be honest and blunt the cat will probably give up on living and start to have health problems as a result from the depression of losing its world. The cat would essentially become a prisoner in an apartment after living it up out in the "wild". The older cat should stay with you and she ought to rescue another from a caged existence that would LOVE to roam an apartment you see. Cats like space and don`t like to go from large areas to small areas, TBH nothing does.

originally posted by: schuyler
Time for daughter to grow up. After all she's moving out. It's not about her and her needs; it's about the cat and cats are all about routine and familiarity. It's the epitome of entitlement to rip kitty out of the only environment it has ever known just so daughter can sleep with kitty and ignore her and leave her in an empty apartment all day while she does her thing. If she can't stand sleeping alone, time to get herself a boyfriend. How do you feel about that, Mom?

Oh god, this.
I'm only bumping this because it's the best reply.
Seriously? She is young, she will have people over, she wants to go out. The cat will be alone in the flat, ripped out if it's longterm home and territory, never be able to roam the garden.
Sounds like torture.

There is no choice. Anything but leaving this elderly cat where ahe is, is animal abuse. For what? So she can have the it sleep in her bed? That is selfish and not at all what's best for the cat. If she really loves that animal, she'll leave it where it's at home.

If not, mum has to put her adult foot down and speak for the animal, as it can't say anything.

Seriously. This shouldn't even be debated. 🤬

a reply to: TDDAgain

yeah, i'm moving and i brought my cat over to the new place. first she hid under the bed, then today, she came out but didnt eat yet

she also explored her new place

I can't advise anyone on this subject, it could be alright, but it could cause some issues with the cat if it moves. My daughter gave us her cat long ago, and the granddaughter gave us a blind cat like five years ago. The cats have bonded with us and the house, even though they don't go outside, cats are traditional, they tend to like patterns in their life and an older cat has a hard time adjusting more than a young cat. The granddaughter did want to take the blind cat to live with her and her husband but they don't have a porch, and the cat will go outside if they have the door open and it is blind. It gets real scared and runs and hides with noises since it uses like echo location to get around. We told her it would probably be better if the cat stayed here, she was all right with that and got a new young one. Piper is tranquil here, he gets around, but you cannot move stuff around, he has everything memorized. If he gets scared, he crashes into everything because the stress messes up his mind and he cannot tell where he is.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Cat should stay at home, where it is used to going outside in the garden and can continue doing so. Penned up in an apartment is no place for a cat used to going outside. And a young person is going to be away from home a lot, leaving the cat alone, whereas I'm guessing that someone is home at your house most of the time. And if she is living in the same town or city, she can always visit the cat AND her parents.

Hope that you will present the best of the arguments made in this thread to your daughter, and that she will see the sense of the matter. Definitely include the one about having to clean the litter box, and how much those things can stink, particularly in a small apartment.

I have had cats most of my life. They are creatures of habit, who like a routine. There are posts on Facebook all the time of cats, (& dogs), that were moved, then got out & were never found again! They get out, are scared & go looking for their old home. Dogs seem to be recovered more often than cats. Probably because they are more likely to seek out people, where cats are more likely to hide.

Did your daughter check if she is even allowed to have pets in her apartment? That is unusual anymore. And usually only with an extra monthly pet fee. That’s another downside. Part of growing up & maturing is recognizing what’s best for the cat. Going from freedom & routine, to cooped up & alone during the day in a strange place is cruel. A new place, with unfamiliar noises, when she’s home alone, will be so stressful. Moving her would be selfish. You & your husband will still be there for her too. She won’t be that lonely. It will be a lot easier for her to adapt to your daughter leaving, than having everything that she has ever known changing!

WOQ