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To cat or not to cat advice needed

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posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:11 AM
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My 25 year old daughter is moving out of the house later this year. She is moving into an apartment and wants to take our 15 year old cat, Angel, with her. Now we bought the cat on her 10th birthday so I guess technically it's hers. But since I am caring for it, feeding it, paying for everything cat related,... I also consider the cat as mine. Ours. It's been a pet to all of us.

I get why she want's to take her. Angle has been sleeping in her bed since day one, they are best buddies.

But over here, Angel has her huge garden where she roams in all day when the weather is nice, just now she is lying under the tree in front of the house. She never wanders far away from the house, but she still has an entire cat kingdom outside where she can be free. And when it gets colder she will spend her days inside, mostly in my daughters bedroom ( which is also a cat kingdom with several fluffy cat-cushions, baskets, unlimited food, ...)

When Angel moves with my daughter to the apartment, she won't be able to go outside. She will live with her favorite person, but loose all the outdoors freedom.

What would be best for the cat?



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:15 AM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2


What would be best for the cat?


IMHO, staying. We say here, you don't replant an old tree with deep roots.

Moving would be more stressful for the cat than not seeing any one of you two.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:17 AM
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Sorry, didn't even read your post.
No cat.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:32 AM
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Cats are really adaptable. And she is getting older.
I would let the cat decide, if it is feasible.

Let your daughter take her, with the understanding that she is really going to have to watch her, for the first week. She will probably hide the first day or 2, until she gets comfortable. Then your daughter really needs to watch her, to see if she is trying to dart out the door, crying and wandering around.

If she isn't doing those things, she may just be happy being with your daughter, if she is, she should probably come back to your house, for her safety.

Just a thought.
edit on 21-7-2023 by chiefsmom because: spelling



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:38 AM
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The cat should stay with you.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 11:50 AM
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Keep the cat at your home.

Your daughter will visit more often.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:04 PM
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a reply to: TDDAgain

I tend to agree with you, I think moving the cat will be very stressful.
But I also don't want my daughter to loose her buddy



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:04 PM
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originally posted by: nerbot
Keep the cat at your home.

Your daughter will visit more often.


good point!



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:09 PM
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originally posted by: chiefsmom
Cats are really adaptable. And she is getting older.
I would let the cat decide, if it is feasible.

Let your daughter take her, with the understanding that she is really going to have to watch her, for the first week. She will probably hide the first day or 2, until she gets comfortable. Then your daughter really needs to watch her, to see if she is trying to dart out the door, crying and wandering around.

If she isn't doing those things, she may just be happy being with your daughter, if she is, she should probably come back to your house, for her safety.

Just a thought.


Angle is a scared cat, she hides for strangers. I think it will take her a lot more then two days to come out of hiding when she moves to a new place.
I specifically feel bad about her being locked up indoors when she's used to all that freedom since she was a kitten.

and then there are other issues, like the fact that Angel never used a litter box in her life! We have them in the house, but she always goes outside. And the fact that my daughter never cleaned a litter box in her life either.... lol, I want to see that happen!

anyway, thanks for the input. If she moves her and it doesn't work out then she'll have no other option then to bring Angel home.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:10 PM
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originally posted by: Lucius Driftwood
Sorry, didn't even read your post.
No cat.


I hope you at least flagged and starred then? I mean, that's the least you can do :p

dog-person?



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:25 PM
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as a cat person this is a mixed bag and a tough choice

If the cat is bonded with your daughter, there is a chance the cat will leave on its own if left behind (more likely if male)

AS was suggested by another post, a trial period might be best BUT i would suggest the opposite. As cats are territorial by nature, keep the cat with you and let your daughter get settled in but watch for any changes in the cats behavior, I.E. is it wandering outside further than usual.
If the cat clearly misses your daughter then consider visitation rights (lmao) with a possible full time move in the future.

I do have some concern though as you refer to the cat as your pet, clearly any real cat owner understands that you are the cats pet.

Hope everyone ends up happy and safe what ever you decide



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:25 PM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2

especially since its an older cat... you want her late years happy.... apartment cats are fine IF they grew up in that environment....

Don't let her take it




posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:29 PM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Keep the cat. They are more location-oriented than people oriented. Plus, too old for a stressful change like that. Let the cat enjoy the garden it is used to.

Cheers



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:29 PM
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Let the cat make up her own mind, even if your daughter does take her to the new apartment, ask her to bring the cat back to visit -
Then she can decide where she would prefer to live.
Happiness is the most important thing, both for us and our animals!



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:43 PM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2 let your daughter take the cat. At 15, it’s not long for this world and if bringing it helps your daughter transition into her new apartment that’s a win as a parent. Plus you have the excuse to come visit and see the cat.

You can always get your own cat and let it enjoy the garden.
edit on 21-7-2023 by ITSALIVE because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 12:49 PM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2

As a cat mom, I feel the cat would be happiest in his current home. They love room to roam around outside and they don't really like moving. There are exceptions though, and it depends on how closely your daughter and the cat are bonded. If the cat would grieve with her gone then maybe he should go with her. But otherwise, not.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 01:01 PM
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a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Having a cat that is addicted to going outside, I would say staying would be best for it, since it is used to it. It is so old now too! It would not be good for the cats health at this point to move it.



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 01:38 PM
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originally posted by: datguy
as a cat person this is a mixed bag and a tough choice

If the cat is bonded with your daughter, there is a chance the cat will leave on its own if left behind (more likely if male)

AS was suggested by another post, a trial period might be best BUT i would suggest the opposite. As cats are territorial by nature, keep the cat with you and let your daughter get settled in but watch for any changes in the cats behavior, I.E. is it wandering outside further than usual.
If the cat clearly misses your daughter then consider visitation rights (lmao) with a possible full time move in the future.

I do have some concern though as you refer to the cat as your pet, clearly any real cat owner understands that you are the cats pet.

Hope everyone ends up happy and safe what ever you decide


My daughter has been away from home before, for college or when she goes on vacation. Yes, the cat misses her, but she's always been fine and after a while seeks more attention from me and my husband.
As you said, cats are territorial...

On the other hand, I had cats that just decided to come to my house and stay till their last day, both strays and neighbors cats... they go wherever they want to go (and where the food is)
and where the 'slaves' are! lol (I know we are their pets but I was toning it down in my OP, ya know, for the dog people among us :p )



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 01:40 PM
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originally posted by: Akragon
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

especially since its an older cat... you want her late years happy.... apartment cats are fine IF they grew up in that environment....



at 15 she is considered a senior cat, although she doesn't act like that at all. The last two I lost were 21 years old, those were seniors and it showed.... but this one? she's still acts like a kitten sometimes.
I do worry that if she is taken to an apartment, she'll become less active and will grow old pretty fast



posted on Jul, 21 2023 @ 01:42 PM
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Time for daughter to grow up. After all she's moving out. It's not about her and her needs; it's about the cat and cats are all about routine and familiarity. It's the epitome of entitlement to rip kitty out of the only environment it has ever known just so daughter can sleep with kitty and ignore her and leave her in an empty apartment all day while she does her thing. If she can't stand sleeping alone, time to get herself a boyfriend. How do you feel about that, Mom?




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