Gen X has Generational Trauma and it Shows

a reply to: greendust

I remember that too but it wasn't geared to make you the reactionary, entitled "Care Bears" running around today.

We touched on those subjects and moved on. As we know, college expands on those subjects if you so choose to study those subjects further. The problem today is that the "progressive-isms" have bled over into every subject on a fundamental level.

On a personal note, I barely attended high school. Most of my academic achievements were obtained in college. In my freshman year of high school, I had 296 cuts so I probably missed a few "conditioning sessions" if there were any.

I have no regrets.

originally posted by: EternalShadow
a reply to: greendust

I remember that too but it wasn't geared to make you the reactionary, entitled "Care Bears" running around today.

We touched on those subjects and moved on. As we know, college expands on those subjects if you so choose to study those subjects further. The problem today is that the "progressive-isms" have bled over into every subject on a fundamental level.

On a personal note, I barely attended high school. Most of my academic achievements were obtained in college. In my freshman year of high school, I had 296 cuts so I probably missed a few "conditioning sessions" if there were any.

I have no regrets.

I agree but must state that our generation was where the BS started getting deep.

originally posted by: greendust

originally posted by: EternalShadow
a reply to: greendust

I remember that too but it wasn't geared to make you the reactionary, entitled "Care Bears" running around today.

We touched on those subjects and moved on. As we know, college expands on those subjects if you so choose to study those subjects further. The problem today is that the "progressive-isms" have bled over into every subject on a fundamental level.

On a personal note, I barely attended high school. Most of my academic achievements were obtained in college. In my freshman year of high school, I had 296 cuts so I probably missed a few "conditioning sessions" if there were any.

I have no regrets.

I agree but must state that our generation was where the BS started getting deep.

I blame a large part of it on "women's liberation" movements and the backers who ultimately wanted two, taxable incomes attached to every family. The gutting of the family structure was key to instituting their ideologies.

Our parents, well some of them I would imagine, are the result of these "movements". I grew up with a single parent, divorced and ready to get out there again mother who was hardly at home and would be gone sometimes for weeks.

She was about as liberated as one can be and her kids suffered long lasting damage.

Sidebar: I think corporal punishment if done early and firmly sets the tone and you'll find that you only have to do it a few times to get your point across and then your words, delivery and volume will be enough going forward.

These days, the kids are making the rules, parents are ineffectual wimps they know can only speak tough but are cuffed to knock them one when they're being downright awful.

You can't win as an adult and parent when the jig is up.

Another Gen Xer here, but I was raised by parents from the Silent Generation. If I was a latch key it was because my mom was working for us to survive, so I don't blame them for working for more than one income. Being left to my own devices to occupy myself helped me deal with many different issues. Even when we went on lockdown, I was never bored. Many people sought to see if I was dying of boredom, but instead, I was very busy. Although it was nice to scale back the amount of driving, I was doing.

Recently I participated in a generation panel as a college student and Gen Z was whining about missing graduation and prom to people who got theirs, but then they got a draft card for Vietnam. It was weird that no one brought up the shootings and their impact. In an in-person class, another Gen Xer and I sat up front and near the door, and the younger students all went to the back first. It's like a gut reaction to protect themselves.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Oh Lordy where do I start. Firstly I am Gen X so don’t come at me.

I’m generalizing but for most of us that grew up in Gen X we were raised by Boomers, whom I personally think were the most selfish generation.
We were raised when children should be seen and not heard, but not really seen either. They wanted us to play outside until it was dark, walk home from school and let ourselves in with a key, make ourselves breakfast, which was always cereal. We were only allowed to open one box at a time. We got spanked, whipped, beat, abused, sometimes all the above. Before I go on for pages, what I’m getting at is that we were really a neglected, abused, generation. It wasn’t all bad, a lot of those things made us strong go getters. We remembered all the bad and thus, we vowed to never do that to our kids.

That’s where it began. You know the giving trophies to everyone, that was us. You know helicopter parenting, that’s us. You know getting rid of physical punishment, totally us. You know over talking about feeling yup, us again…
Now all of those things can be good with limits. WITH LIMITS..

And now the generation today, specifically talking about 15-27 year oldish… They are the direct result of all of that. Folks I’m seeing a lot of things that are shocking me, making me shake my head, and really making me worry about the next couple of decades….

On a personal note. I had a friend message me because my daughter and group of friends were leaving her daughter out of fun stuff, and when they did include her it wasn’t fun……(PS. Those are the exact words used)..How old are we talking? Middle school, NOPE, High schoolers, NOPE, College 👀 TRY AGAIN —————— “Children” that are done with college DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mouth dropped in disbelief.

In some ways I am very proud of this generation, they are getting help when they need it and aren’t embarrassed. They fight for what they believe in. They know their worth.
Here is where I have a problem, it all goes too far. Maybe some kids DO need a smack on the rear. Maybe fighting is OK with limits. Maybe just maybe not everyone can win first place and that is ok and others should be taught that is something to work toward and not bring down #1.

I’m happy and living a pretty good life, but I see that most of these young people are absolutely MISERABLE. Mental health issues skyrocking, suicides, substance abuse. There is that cliche saying it’s is insanity to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. I think these young people (and their parents) maybe need to do something different now!

Please see below for Bullying

So, you say the baby boomers were bad because they taught you to take care of yourself so you could go out into the world with confidence and know how to budget your money? I walked half way across town to go skating or to track or to Boy scouts. I learned to work when I was young.

I had my first charge account at the hardware store when I was thirteen, the second at another hardware store at fifteen. I always paid my bills when do because my parents taught me to and to budget correctly and focus on my needs in life then treat myself occasionally to wants. I taught my youngest daughter what I was taught and she is doing all right. My oldest daughter was with my ex, and her second husband adopted her....she did not get taught from me and has had a hard life financially and it is stressful for her.

Being conservative is not wrong, you cannot spoil your kids and they need to be taught to survive on their own when they leave home. If a kid wants to join some sport or club, they need to learn to get there themselves. You cannot let your kids control your life, they have to know what the word no means and also have to know that you are not their slave.

I am glad I was a baby boomer that was trained how to survive on my own.

a reply to: rickymouse

So, you say the baby boomers were bad because they taught you to take care of yourself

I’m really not sure if they “taught” us or if we just taught ourselves. There was a lot of neglect in Gen X.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I'm inclined to believe that the biggest factor was technology. The smartphone and social media took over and dimmed the voices of the parents. Parents struggling with trying to set limits and guidelines to something no other generation had to deal with. It changed everything.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: rickymouse

So, you say the baby boomers were bad because they taught you to take care of yourself

I’m really not sure if they “taught” us or if we just taught ourselves. There was a lot of neglect in Gen X.

I'm of the opinion that Gen x is NOT a monolith.

Thank you for sharing this. It’s hard for some to understand and talking about it starts the healing. Few are aware that gen X suffers from such entitlement, self pity and a focus on intentions rather than results. This internal shift away from what works and towards what makes you feel good regardless of what the outcome is has been a rot in America. Perception of abuse is just as equal to actual abuse just be claiming it, no? The use of labels to identify victims is another technique to employ. This gender is the victim gender! This race is the victim race! This generation is the victims! Draw distinctions between folks because of your assumed suffrage as a member of such distinction.

a reply to: JAGStorm

a reply to: JAGStorm

I don't feel traumatized at all. I feel perfectly normal.

a reply to: EternalShadow

I tend to agree at least partially, being the Millennial here with the Silent Gen dad, Boomer mom, Xer older brother, and (wait for iiiiit) the Xer husband.

All that movement did was convince people others are disposable toys.
That's not wholly a dig at divorce, people can do that amicably & maintain good relationships afterward without issues all around (very square latchkey kid here)

It's a dig at the entrenched bull# that convinces people to just not bother at a relationship if they're not your personal doormat or co-conspirator while doing that. That's not personal growth or any semblance of freedom -- that's actually kinda psychologically abusive if you think about it.

Wonderful can to kick down the road to the kids & grandkids.

a reply to: JAGStorm

The people who raised me would be 110 now if they were still alive ,they laughed at the young boomers and called them crazy kids , they in turn were laughed at by a even older family member and told how easy they had it as he recounted his memories of rats eating wounded soldiers alive at the Somme in WW1 and the Boer war years , That old man laughed long and hard at them all .

Breakfast cup of tea and a slice of toast if I was lucky after making my grandparents tea , we walked to school as a gang 8-10 of us loons , best days of my life and I would not change a thing if i could even the 5 am starts loading the milk or working until 10 pm every night of the week after school , they saw how hard their parents had it in life and wanted better especially for the children ,

Then suddenly someone made a rule ! Kids were not allowed to work so hard lol no chimney cleaning or coal mines or 50 hour weeks .

That generations that were raised the hard way all seem to live to ripe old ages considering the lifestyles they had ,one in my family just passed this week she was 95 the 2 that are left from that 14 kids are even older 98 and 102 .

The boomers were just letting of steam ,doing what the Tavistock media told them to do ,have fun and consume ,consume ,consume and work ,work ,work to pay for it all .

The more things change the more they stay the same

a reply to: JAGStorm

I was born in the year Orwell wrote about, I see myself as a degenerate, as in I don't see myself in any generation, not degenerate as in 'I named my child after a direction on a compass'

Boomers calling gen Z as 'entitled'-pure hypocrisy. I see them in their motor homes, taking up parking spaces designed for shoppers, parking in vacant lots where houses should be being built, but can't because of the 'respect your elders' BS. Respect is earned, it is not a given.

Alas, your generation followed, many are cynical Nepo babies blaming the boomers for the pseudo woes, moaning and resenting future generations because they never had a PC as a child. You gave the world grunge, great but whiny, all so whiny. FFS your lot is probably why antidepressants gained a foothold! However I understand Nixon and the economical collapse in his tenor was not favourable to you growing up.

And Gen Y/Z? boomer rinse and repeat. A world where they have a voice on the web, where they must have their 15 seconds of fame lest they spit the dummy, like the boomers-expect respect rather than earn it.

The Silent generation-Where do I start Nazis, war widows, Cigarettes weren't bad for your health, Manhattan project and the irony of the nuclear family, polio...If they seem P!$$ed to you they have every right to be.

Now let's turn attention to the positives, and remember the feats and the folk born of the generation.

Silent Generation-Television,Hollywoodland, Rock n' roll, Chevrolets, Bikinis

Boomers-Apple, Star wars, ARPANET, The video game industry as we know it

Gen X-???

I can't speak for the rest, you fill in the blanks.

a reply to: JAGStorm

So lets unpack some generalizations and some perceived or experienced facts or truths.

Boomers, I just barely sqeeze into that genertion, are selfish. How so?

I cant speak for Gen X only my parents - silent, my, and MIllenials, which my children are.

Trophies for everyone? As a boomer we all got different colored stars. One teacher is grading papers with +4 answers right instead of -6 answers wrong. Anyone not get what is happening or how children may be motivated?

There us now a new project for 9 year olds, do somethig on your own. I imagine the children will have the tools and knowledge to navigate a small piece of the world on their own. One boy decided to go out alone to buy a muffin in a large store. He was asked by several adults why he was alone and explained the project.

Society can self-correct after problems are realized.

Your friends daughter left out. Anyone ask the girls why? Find out the issue then resolve it. Usually it is a behavioural thing that can be resolved through understanding and if needed a behavioural change. Children arent born knowing the intricasies of socialuzation. Especially after living different types of isolation.

College done! I've been seeing people ask if college, these days, is a waste of money and time. It also appears people are questioning the very fabric of working conditions and who the low pay and restrictions serves best.

Bullying is a sign or a call for help, usually. Where does a child learn bullying or reactive violent behaviour?

My silent gen parents did the best they could without self-analyzing. I dont let my 88 yr old mother get away without questioning her programming or upbringing just a little. Its too much work for me.

My millenial children dont get away with much either as I believe we need to put ourselves out there to learn, have experiences, falter then pick ourselves up again, keep trying, and above all else find what you really want and need and within your limitations, find your level of ability and happiness.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I have given a lot of thought to this, and I have a theory on why we are having the current problems. Boomers were raised by 'the greatest generation". Our parents endured the great depression and then a world war in which millions died. Then you had the 1950s which was an unprecedented period of economic growth, and a huge expansion of the middle class. When that occurred, we started a shift from the family and spirituality being the center of life to the material and personal progress being at the center. Our parents became obscessed with a better standard of living, having endured years of hardship, and that occasion made them somewhat emotionally distant from us. We grew up with parents that were good providers, but were somewhat aloof and unapproachable on an emotional level. When it came time for us to enter the workforce the slide towards materialism was in full swing. So we focused even MORE on material wealth, but felt guilty and wanted to connect better with our kids than our parents had done with us. But you now had in most households, both parents working full time, and we had even less free time than our parents. So we tried to compensate 2 ways to "make up for it" One, we tended to give our kids a lot of material things, game consoles toys, computers, soccer and day camps, etc. And two, instead of trying to make our kids more autonomous, we coddled them and tried to smooth over every emotional and physical bump in the road of life they encountered. We focused on solving their problems instead of teaching them to solve their OWN problems. Instead of insisting they get a part time job when they hit adolescence, we just supplied them with what they needed. And instead of spending time with them, we just let them socialize on the then new internet. Then factor in a skyrocketing divorce rate, and kids growing up in single family households, parents tried to compensate even MORE with usually less connection and contact with their kids as a result. And now as a result they have grown up less prepared for life than many generations before them, and that IS our fault. Also throw into the mix that for a few decades, sociopathy in business and corporate America started being viewed as a VIRTUE, by the same boomers who had once espoused free love and spit on our returning soldiers, were now the captains of industry who had become ruthless and largely self centered self serving and devoid of compassion. This one percent of boomers became the policy makers that millennials and gen Y are largely suffering the fallout from. We entered into a culture of selfish narcissism, with little or no thought of altruism or the common good, that really kicked in hard in the 80s, and now we are suffering the hangover from it. But there is one thing that millenials should realize. When the sociopathic boomers started to control industry and finance back then, this became more a classism issue than an ageism one. Its more about one social class victimizing another, because a lot of boomers have also suffered from it, in the form of stagnating wages and declining jobs and opportunities. If you really want to get mad, get mad at the one percent that had the POWER to wrought all the damage we see and are living with now. The rest of the boomers, like you, were just concerned from surviving from one paycheck to the next, more and more so over time. And then a funny thing also happened. Occupy Wall street appeared, and people WERE starting to rightly point fingers at this exact group, then suddenly at that EXACT time we shifted it from a class issue, to a race issue with BLM and an age issue with the anti Boomer sentiments. IMHO opinion this is no accident, the ruling class loves nothing more than when members of the same working class turn on one another and ignore THEM as the real cause of the current suffering.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: JAGStorm

I don't feel traumatized at all. I feel perfectly normal.

Keep in mind, your version of normal, includes those people in the basement tied to the wine rack. So it could be subjective.

a reply to: openminded2011

Love how you expanded on my quick summary of everything and I couldn’t agree more.
You hit so many nails on the head, especially your ending summary and the infighting.

originally posted by: network dude

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: JAGStorm

I don't feel traumatized at all. I feel perfectly normal.

Keep in mind, your version of normal, includes those people in the basement tied to the wine rack. So it could be subjective.

I learned Normal in West Virginia is not what we say is normal in other parts… Speaking of
West Virginia….. scary story.


I was on a road trip recently. We had been driving a long while and we in West Virginia (Beautiful by the way)
And I have to use the bathroom BADLY. I told my hubs to stop at the first place on GPS.
So there was this little neighborhood with 1950’s houses just off the highway. Houses looked neat, but they were small and you could tell this was an older working class neighborhood. So there was this gas station at the end of it. I go in NO Public BATHROOM WHAT!
And there’s an Indian (from India) and I tell him it’s an emergency and he asks me what state I’m from. I say Wisconsin. In his broken English it’s obviously a place he’s never heard of. I say “North of Chicago”. He gives me a creepy smile and lets me use an “employee” bathroom. First he tells another “worker” in the back. I go into this horrible room and finish and open the door, and his smiling face is right there. Like literally right as I opened the door. I tell him my husband needs to use it too. I run to the car and tell my husband to get the hell out of there.

I had two choices, Pee my pants, or use the drug den/human trafficking bathroom. I choose to use the bathroom, but in hindsight, I probably should have just peed my pants. Just a warning for anyone in West Virginia and run into that. 😵‍💫😂

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: network dude

originally posted by: JAGStorm

I’m happy and living a pretty good life

Amazing how you were able to overcome all the horrible things you were forced to endure.
I too was able to play outside, come in when the street lights came on, was spanked when I was bad, not given anything, but told to earn my own money so I could buy what I wanted with it. And somehow, I survived as well.

Must be the two of us were super lucky to make it out alive. yea, it was hell.

I actually died when I was 7.

My mom made me walk it off.

#BoomerLife

Pfffft my grammaw kilt me and I got in more trouble for not being properly dead.

Generation is the same thing as saying eugenics and beta testing all life for no greater good than slavery of the masses