Gen X has Generational Trauma and it Shows

Oh Lordy where do I start. Firstly I am Gen X so don’t come at me.

I’m generalizing but for most of us that grew up in Gen X we were raised by Boomers, whom I personally think were the most selfish generation.
We were raised when children should be seen and not heard, but not really seen either. They wanted us to play outside until it was dark, walk home from school and let ourselves in with a key, make ourselves breakfast, which was always cereal. We were only allowed to open one box at a time. We got spanked, whipped, beat, abused, sometimes all the above. Before I go on for pages, what I’m getting at is that we were really a neglected, abused, generation. It wasn’t all bad, a lot of those things made us strong go getters. We remembered all the bad and thus, we vowed to never do that to our kids.

That’s where it began. You know the giving trophies to everyone, that was us. You know helicopter parenting, that’s us. You know getting rid of physical punishment, totally us. You know over talking about feeling yup, us again…
Now all of those things can be good with limits. WITH LIMITS..

And now the generation today, specifically talking about 15-27 year oldish… They are the direct result of all of that. Folks I’m seeing a lot of things that are shocking me, making me shake my head, and really making me worry about the next couple of decades….

On a personal note. I had a friend message me because my daughter and group of friends were leaving her daughter out of fun stuff, and when they did include her it wasn’t fun……(PS. Those are the exact words used)..How old are we talking? Middle school, NOPE, High schoolers, NOPE, College 👀 TRY AGAIN —————— “Children” that are done with college DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mouth dropped in disbelief.

In some ways I am very proud of this generation, they are getting help when they need it and aren’t embarrassed. They fight for what they believe in. They know their worth.
Here is where I have a problem, it all goes too far. Maybe some kids DO need a smack on the rear. Maybe fighting is OK with limits. Maybe just maybe not everyone can win first place and that is ok and others should be taught that is something to work toward and not bring down #1.

I’m happy and living a pretty good life, but I see that most of these young people are absolutely MISERABLE. Mental health issues skyrocking, suicides, substance abuse. There is that cliche saying it’s is insanity to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. I think these young people (and their parents) maybe need to do something different now!

Please see below for Bullying

a reply to: JAGStorm

Bullying

I’ve thought a lot about this topic lately. Bullying is a huge issues, not just here either. It is a massive issue in Korea and even the government is getting involved.

Folks there is only ONE cure to bullying and we don’t teach or allow it anymore. ONLY ONE CURE. Remember Christmas Story? How did Ralphie get rid of the bully, one way, you have to BULLY the Bully! That’s it. It has been that way since the beginning of time. Don’t like a bully, fight him or get enough people to do it.

Schools are absolutely to blame. Now it doesn’t matter if you are the bully or victim you BOTH get punished. You are encourage to not fight back. Folks, this is the absolute worst thing you can teach your kids. I’ve seen video after video of kids almost being beaten to death because they just sit there while getting kicked and punched in the head. Insanity!

We told our HS daughter if you are going to get punished might as well do the crime, but 100% make sure the other person swings first! I told my daughter protecting yourself, your body is a God given human right. Nobody, not even a school can take that away from you and we would never allow them to punish her. I would literally take her on a shopping spree if they suspended her.

Part II. If your kids continued to get bullied, you know what happened in the old days? Your parents would talk to their parents, and if it still continued, your parents would beat the crap out of their parents until they understood.
Worked 100x out of 100x. Beating usually wasn’t needed because parents were able to spank their kids back then and they usually did it in front of the other parents to embarrass them.

ALL of the above happened without the intervention of Police and somehow we had a fraction of the crime we do today and a fraction of the issues we do today.

See what happened sometimes after a good beat down, the kids would become friends and have respect for each other. We don’t allow normal human nature anymore and it’s not working.

originally posted by: JAGStorm

I’m happy and living a pretty good life

Amazing how you were able to overcome all the horrible things you were forced to endure.
I too was able to play outside, come in when the street lights came on, was spanked when I was bad, not given anything, but told to earn my own money so I could buy what I wanted with it. And somehow, I survived as well.

Must be the two of us were super lucky to make it out alive. yea, it was hell.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like you're making excuses for sh*tty parents raising sh*tty kids.

a reply to: network dude

Amazing how you were able to overcome all the horrible things you were forced to endure. I too was able to play outside, come in when the street lights came on, was spanked when I was bad, not given anything, but told to earn my own money so I could buy what I wanted with it. And somehow, I survived as well. Must be the two of us were super lucky to make it out alive. yea, it was hell.

Yep we survived, but not without some scars, literal and figuratively..

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like you're making excuses for sh*tty parents raising sh*tty kids.

Maybe, maybe we were all part of the worst generation of parents ever with good intentions.

I think we are going to find out!

a reply to: JAGStorm

We were raised when children should be seen and not heard, but not really seen either.

That just depends on the parents, not really a generational thing.

They wanted us to play outside until it was dark, walk home from school and let ourselves in with a key, make ourselves breakfast, which was always cereal.

Wow! I remember those days! I refer to them now as the good ole days! LOL!

My poor daughter, who was born in 1997, couldn't even go out and play in a fenced in yard in broad daylight without strangers stopping and approaching the fence or trying to approach her when they thought she was out of eyeshot of a guardian at a park.

Kids can't even walk home from school these days. I remember riding my bike all over the entire town after school or during the summer. We didn't have to worry about someone approaching us when we traveled from one friend's house to another to play.

Let's be honest about breakfast here. Most kids preferred cereal over bacon and eggs for breakfast when I was a kid. Heck, we would have eaten it for dinner if our parents had let us!

Kids today have it much worse than we ever did. I don't know too many women today who haven't been sexually assaulted to some degree (both my age and my daughter's). That's a sad statement to make. And those numbers aren't getting any better.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: network dude

Amazing how you were able to overcome all the horrible things you were forced to endure. I too was able to play outside, come in when the street lights came on, was spanked when I was bad, not given anything, but told to earn my own money so I could buy what I wanted with it. And somehow, I survived as well. Must be the two of us were super lucky to make it out alive. yea, it was hell.

Yep we survived, but not without some scars, literal and figuratively..

I suppose we all see what we want. I think I was blessed to be able to grow up in such an amazing time, with amazing parents. I deserved every whipping I got, and got away with much more that I should have been punished for but wasn't. I used the lessons and wisdom I was given to try to make good decisions, which is how it's all supposed to work. You can't be there 24-7, so you give your kids the knowledge they need, teach them the best you can, and hope they are able to make good decisions when they are on their own.

I'm Gen X as well, and agree with most of the points you make. Except your way of dealing with bullys. So, you cant fight, too scared to do anything about it yourself, oh I know, let's get all of the people we can to do it for us!! Not taking the licks you might get teaching you what might happen. And where do we see this idea over and over, esp now?

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like you're making excuses for sh*tty parents raising sh*tty kids.

Maybe, maybe we were all part of the worst generation of parents ever with good intentions.

I think we are going to find out!

If you really believe this, I feel that I missed something. Where is the X’ers accountability in all this? How can you blame your parents for how your children and grandchildren turn out?

It would seem to me that if you suffered so much under your parents, and they were so traumatizing, you would have raised your children in a much better manner. It seems strange to me that you blame boomers for what’s going on now.
You had a chance to make a difference, what happened to your parenting? Are you including yourself in being a traumatizing parent to your children?

Perhaps you could explain how boomers were so “selfish”. That might might help me understand your point.

a reply to: Topcraft

Where is your accountability in all this? How can you blame your parents for how your children and grandchildren turn out?

Oh I am 100% how our kids turn our will be our doing, just as how we turned out was our parents doing. Even so there is a thread that connects us all even if we don't want to admit it, a chain reaction.

It would seem to me that if you suffered so much under your parents, and they were so traumatizing, you would have raised your children in a much better manner.

This is the gist of my whole post. I think Gen X thought we were doing better when in fact we have raised a lot of entitled, spoiled, fragile, mentally handicapped, confused,...............brats.

I'm just generalizing though.

a reply to: JAGStorm

So, if a parent, raises their child in the best possible manner, and they turn out to be a devotee of antifa, who’s fault is that? Parent, grandparent or child? Once again, accountability. People do what want all on their own, defying what they were taught as children

originally posted by: Topcraft
a reply to: JAGStorm

So, if a parent, raises their child in the best possible manner, and they turn out to be a devotee of antifa, who’s fault is that? Parent, grandparent or child? Once again, accountability. People do what want all on their own, defying what they were taught as children

Depends. As an individual some people may go against the grain, they may have deep psychological issues removed from their upbringing. What I'm talking about is more of a societal issue. Just as we saw how the great depression affect grandparents/great grandparents, they would save evan a scrap of yarn. Their children (some boomers) were the opposite, they were out to have a blast, spend money, keep up with the Jones's etc.

I mentioned those things we are seeing with youth, and this isn't just my opinion, there are statistics, surveys and heck just ask a young person how they feel.

a reply to: JAGStorm
I'm a tail-end boomer and I was raised the exact same way (except my breakfast was coffee and brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts and lunch/dinner was Spaghetti-O's). My kids turned out awesome. Maybe it's not so much a generational thing as a crappy parenting thing.

a reply to: underpass61

I agree, you can overcome crappy parenting, and you can shine as an individual. I believe the choice is entirely yours.

originally posted by: network dude

originally posted by: JAGStorm

I’m happy and living a pretty good life

Amazing how you were able to overcome all the horrible things you were forced to endure.
I too was able to play outside, come in when the street lights came on, was spanked when I was bad, not given anything, but told to earn my own money so I could buy what I wanted with it. And somehow, I survived as well.

Must be the two of us were super lucky to make it out alive. yea, it was hell.

I actually died when I was 7.

My mom made me walk it off.

#BoomerLife

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Oh Lordy where do I start. Firstly I am Gen X so don’t come at me.

I’m generalizing but for most of us that grew up in Gen X we were raised by Boomers, whom I personally think were the most selfish generation.
We were raised when children should be seen and not heard, but not really seen either. They wanted us to play outside until it was dark, walk home from school and let ourselves in with a key, make ourselves breakfast, which was always cereal. We were only allowed to open one box at a time. We got spanked, whipped, beat, abused, sometimes all the above. Before I go on for pages, what I’m getting at is that we were really a neglected, abused, generation. It wasn’t all bad, a lot of those things made us strong go getters. We remembered all the bad and thus, we vowed to never do that to our kids.

That’s where it began. You know the giving trophies to everyone, that was us. You know helicopter parenting, that’s us. You know getting rid of physical punishment, totally us. You know over talking about feeling yup, us again…
Now all of those things can be good with limits.

Where do I start? First off, I'm responding to you because you're partly right. Generation X is indeed where it began. But it wasn't the fault of Baby Boomer parents. You don't seem to have a clue about that part. Maybe your "Baby Boomer" parents were lousy, but the rest of us who had Baby Boomer parents had great parents. They weren't selfish. Evidently you don't remember those times because Baby Boomers all had stay at home Moms. And they took care of us children.

Of course they wanted us to play outside - that's called getting exercise, which everybody needs, including young children. Especially young children because our bodies were growing and exercise helped us to grow up healthy.

What's wrong with walking to and home from school? I did it. It was a way to get more exercise, and refer the point immediately above. Doing it gave us a chance to learn how to take care of ourselves when we were away from our parents. Everybody needs to learn that kind of stuff. Even when we weren't with our parents they were allowing us to learn and grow.

"We had to let ourselves in with a key," is that what you claim? We never had to lock our doors! And besides that, we would never have to let ourselves in because we all had stay at home Moms who were always there at home when we got back from school and the door didn't have to be locked. I can only assume you must have had a uniquely bad set of parents. If you had both a Mom and Dad, which I don't know and I don't want to assume anything and have you take it the wrong way. So, please don't do that.

As a young kid, I NEVER made my own breakfast. Not ever. That's what my Mom did. That's what all true Boomer Moms did. Again, you must have a had a unique set of parents to have to suffer so much and make your own breakfast. Oh, the horrors of it. True, we did have cereal once in a while, but usually my Mom made us a hot breakfast. Like oatmeal, Malto-meal, eggs and things like that. So, what was so bad about cereal? They were fortified with 9 essential vitamins and minerals, after all. And we didn't need to open more than one box at a time. Why would you need to? That point seems a total non-issue.

"We got spanked, whipped, beat, abused, sometimes all the above." You DID!? Oh my God, call the Child Services agency or the ASPCA or whoever!!! Stat!!! If you want to call being disciplined as being beat and abused, you need to go back and study the meaning of a few of your words. You never heard of "Sparing the rod and spoil the child?" That has been true throughout history. Sorry you didn't pick that up in school or from your parents.

You may have been a neglected and abused child, but the rest of us Boomer children certainly weren't. We all sat down to dinner, TOGETHER, with no distractions, and TALKED about our day. That is not the definition of being neglected. We did stuff together as a family. We went to stores together. We were together a lot. We were hardly neglected. And we were never abused. We were disciplined, but that is not the definition of "abused." Buy yourself a good dictionary, PLEASE.

You seem to be a very bitter person to call a whole generation "selfish." Baby Boomer parents were not selfish. They did everything for their children to help them learn and grow up to be a valid member of society. Which is what parents, ALL parents should be doing.

And like I said above, Generation X is indeed where the problem started. But it wasn't the parent's fault, no matter what you may think. About the time Generation X came along is exactly the time the brainwashing (or propaganda, or influencing, if you wish) started being pushed in school and on television. Everyone can see that was true if they have a modicum of intelligence or common sense. I don't know why people like you have to always blame Boomers for everything when Boomers were the last good generation in reality. You even agreed with that statement when you said all the ones afterwards were not good.

It's obvious I don't think much of your (mis-) assessment of the Boomer Generation.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Gen X as well.

I remember my teachers being MARRIED WITH KIDS, WIVES AND HUSBANDS. I remember several of my teachers pregnant and glowing throughout my K-12 experience.

It's the schools now. These busy body liberal arts majors are forgoing the reproductive process for themselves, and to paraphrase Jordan Peterson, "...they are turning college students into the children they never had!"

I think that's a profound angle to think about. Nevertheless, it's the schools where parents are not and the biggest motivators for life and discernment starts. I don't recall ANY political "pushing" or indoctrination when I was in K-12, not a bit.

Today, it's an all out assault on our children's minds. The splintering of genders and the subsequent confusion and inner turmoil, the individual displacement and purposeless futures are a very real and desired result of this agenda.

One thing I will say is that they ARE voting for all this crap, so in some ways I feel you reap what you sow. Only problem is that the way the system works, they have to contribute in order to secure the prior generation.

I just don't see that happening.

I am a Gen X person. Born in 1969. I have fond memories of my childhood. My parent did spank me a couple of times. I deserved all of them. And yeah I was a latch key kid too. I found that to be freedom, not neglect. Then again, my parents were not too worried that I would do anything stupid because they raised me to be cautious and so on.

The only people I hated back then for being abusive were my peers. And I would fight them (when I got older) and that is what my parents told me to do. It ended alot of conflicts.

My childhood was like a Mark Twain adventure. It was wonderful. I feel sorry for people that didnt have the same experience. One thing I did notice was that alot of my pals parents got divorced. And when that happened they turned into idiots.

Anyway, that is my two bits.

a reply to: EternalShadow

"I think that's a profound angle to think about. Nevertheless, it's the schools where parents are not and the biggest motivators for life and discernment starts. I don't recall ANY political "pushing" or indoctrination when I was in K-12, not a bit."

I disagree with that. I remember spending much more time on MLK and the wonders of the UN in history classes than I ever did learning about the founding fathers. But hey, at least they included them back then. In High School I once took a class on African history and the teacher claimed the Nile flowed north to south. I said, "so the mediteranian sea flows into the mountains of Ethiopia???" The teacher flipped out and made me sit in the hall the rest of the class. She sent a note home and my mom called her and told her to pound sand....

About 4 years ago I helped my now 20 year old son with a history lesson. I remember this very well: They were going over the gllded age and instead of describing how that moved humanity from hand to mouth sustenance and gave common folk the ability to gain resources and capital, they described it as "boring and dull". Not enough war and destruction and hatred in that age I suppose. Too much good change and not enough MARXISM. It made me laugh. So I told my son, "I do not care what you write about this, piss your teacher off, I don't care. And he did and he got an F and I was proud of him.

Now my son is 20 and makes 70k a year and he did it all on his own. When you allow your children to explore the truth, they might actually start LIVING A REAL LIFE.

However, it seems my kid is an outlier. Most kids I know (my kids friends) are just little helpless people that wear all their feelings on their sleeves. Its embarrassing.