How do I not give in to the stress of having wasted time and knowing I have to make up for it?

I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

a reply to: dragonslayer83
Set some goals. Make a plan. One day at a time. One step at a time.

We've all wasted time. Don't sweat it too much. Enjoy life.
You'll do great.

originally posted by: dragonslayer83
I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

Don’t be too hard on yourself for one.
Words have power. Want a different inner voice? You have to chose the words that would empower you. It takes time.

Your words here “I want to have a balanced life of work and play” are an example. When you start to feel the pressure, speak words that will empower this truth of yours.

“Life is short” , “I’m happier when there’s a balance” , “it’s ok to play today” , “ if I live in the past it will become my future”.

Or whatever it is that resonates with you. Speak the words and say them loud and with conviction! When you wake up. Mid day. And before you go to bed. Or when you are having that internal struggle.

originally posted by: snrb123

originally posted by: dragonslayer83
I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

Don’t be too hard on yourself for one.
Words have power. Want a different inner voice? You have to chose the words that would empower you. It takes time.

Your words here “I want to have a balanced life of work and play” are an example. When you start to feel the pressure, speak words that will empower this truth of yours.

“Life is short” , “I’m happier when there’s a balance” , “it’s ok to play today” , “ if I live in the past it will become my future”.

Or whatever it is that resonates with you. Speak the words and say them loud and with conviction! When you wake up. Mid day. And before you go to bed. Or when you are having that internal struggle.

Sage advice.

a reply to: dragonslayer83
"I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. "

2 points-

1-Maybe having fun and doing what you want is the entire point of existence-no one knows really,so you may as well at least try to have fun.

2-you feel pressured at least in part because of societal norms-outside influence makes you feel you must do this or that..
But really no one can say "this is how to human"because everyone is in the same position-no one really knows what we are,or what the point of us is.



Also-Imagine if you had never had any fun-chances are you would still feel the same as a lifetime of memories without enjoyment may feel like even more of a waste.

As long as your fun doesn't harm others,go for it and take no notice of anyone who says otherwise.
By having more fun than those grouches who seek to take it away-YOU WIN.

People only get stressed and feel guilty because they believe life has to be a certain way. It doesn't. That's totally made up. If you were able to just have fun for a few years you are already ahead of those who never got to enjoy themselves like that.
As for working and having fun, that is entirely possible and also depends on your work and the colleagues you'll meet. I had many jobs where we all had a lot of laughs and went out after woek etc. I didn't do that often because I liked to rush hime to get on with my fun.

When I got fed up with office work, I enrolled in the Open University, which you do at home or during nightshifts or whenever.
I then used my points from them for real University, where I started in the second year and got my BSc hons at 31 yrs of age.
This led to science Jobs which were mostly enjoyable.

It's never too late and there is no rulebook. Every way of life is valid unless it hurts others. Apart from that, you always have choices. No need for guilt or stress. Whatever is good for you.

originally posted by: snrb123

originally posted by: dragonslayer83
I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

Don’t be too hard on yourself for one.
Words have power. Want a different inner voice? You have to chose the words that would empower you. It takes time.

Your words here “I want to have a balanced life of work and play” are an example. When you start to feel the pressure, speak words that will empower this truth of yours.

“Life is short” , “I’m happier when there’s a balance” , “it’s ok to play today” , “ if I live in the past it will become my future”.

Or whatever it is that resonates with you. Speak the words and say them loud and with conviction! When you wake up. Mid day. And before you go to bed. Or when you are having that internal struggle.

I agree with AOx6179 the above is damn good advice.

I know I fell into a well of procrastination after my Dad passed, like none of the daily things I did for work mattered, at the end, you end up lying on a bed not knowing who your family is. Damn sure know he would have given up all his years of success for a few more real days with his family.

Then throw in COVID a few years later, we used to not get excited about 50 or 100 PC orders, and now we are high-fiving when new get a 10-piece order and legitimately mean it.PERSPECTIVE. We spent way too many years living, eating, and sleeping business.

I still procrastinate but I have slowly gotten back into projects that are constructive, but I have no illusions that they are gonna be profitable in any way shape or form.

Trust your process, and set a modest daily goal. Work hard as if those constructive 8-10 hour days buy you another few hours with those you love and love you as well.

It's all you can control now, TODAY

and I say this as I should be working on a spreadsheet or another project.

a reply to: dragonslayer83

How old are you ? , if you don't mind me asking.

You can't change what is past but you can influence your future but don't lose sight of now by worrying about yesterday , if you had fun the time wasn't wasted.
The quote in my signature bellow is from a member who knew how precious time was because he didn't have much of it left , he was a wise owl who's words have helped me a few times.

I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

That's what weekends are for.

a reply to: gortex

I'm 32. I didn't have friends and spent all day indoors, video gaming and surfing the internet. I think I'd rather have wasted my time outside, eating out, traveling, having friends, etc. Even though it was fun, I do have regrets since I could've started working out, gaining skills to make money, work, etc. I postponed being an adult. Not only did I waste my time/life, but it's not even a great way to waste time

a reply to: dragonslayer83

I'm 32.

Then you are still young , your life is still ahead of you waiting for you to grab it , you can't change the past you can only learn from it.

Look forward my friend and enjoy today as you plan for tomorrow , postponing being an adult is not a bad thing , I'm a fifty something kid , I know plenty of adults and it seems it sucks.

a reply to: dragonslayer83

You cannot make up lost time. You can however make the best use of future time. Your life? It really begins now...today, with your thread!!✌️👍

God bless

The past is the past. You have your future to look forward to and to use wisely. There were no video games around when I was young, we played outside, went camping, hiking, fishing, hunting, ane played cards and board games with others. Now some of those activities did take a lot of time and were not productive, but at least it was socializing and exercise. Later on when I got into my later teens and early twenties, I had an old snowmobile and a 305 Honda superhawk, it was fun and faster than riding a bicycle and toboggan. but again, I went places where I did not have to go and spent money on those fun things.

I did not get into organized sports or health and fitness places...which is also expensive....so I had more money to hit the bars. I also worked on the cars I drove, I had a sixty nine mustang special edition that I had to put an engine into I took out of my seventy one comet and built up...not as impressive as the blown up Boss 429 engine that came in it, but I bought the engineless car for fifty bucks in seventy three and it was in good shape body wise.

Did I waste a lot of time...Yes, it was a great time being young. I loved going into bars and to outdoor parties in my twenties...more for social interaction than anything else. I would never change the things I did in my life, it is part of me. It contributed to my knowledge.

You learned that you went astray, now it is time to go forward in the right direction and all that is now out of your system.

By the way, video games suck in my opinion, I am glad I chose stuff like pool and fooseball to play, there is socialization in those things...way better than playing pac-man or donkey kong or pinball at the bars. It was cheaper to play pool and fooseball at the bars since I won most of the time...you drink a lot less playing those games or dancing with the girls. Well, I suppose it wasn't cheap dancing either, it led to relationships which led to dating, marriage, and eventually child support payments for my daughter from my first wife...maybe playing video games is actually cheaper

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: snrb123

originally posted by: dragonslayer83
I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

Don’t be too hard on yourself for one.
Words have power. Want a different inner voice? You have to chose the words that would empower you. It takes time.

Your words here “I want to have a balanced life of work and play” are an example. When you start to feel the pressure, speak words that will empower this truth of yours.

“Life is short” , “I’m happier when there’s a balance” , “it’s ok to play today” , “ if I live in the past it will become my future”.

Or whatever it is that resonates with you. Speak the words and say them loud and with conviction! When you wake up. Mid day. And before you go to bed. Or when you are having that internal struggle.

I still procrastinate but I have slowly gotten back into projects that are constructive, but I have no illusions that they are gonna be profitable in any way shape or form.

I can relate to this so much as I've started silversmithing again with absolutely no goal of career or profit in any way and I'm so loving it. Everything I'm making starts with a person in mind and goes to them as a gift. There is a lot of joy in that compared to when I had a business making other jewellery and it was a massive hassle.

I also wasted years and years and years partying, drinking, spontaneous travelling. It was fun but certainly set me back in ways that friends cannot understand. No pension, no savings, life is financially always a car repair away from ruin and it makes me struggle with the same stuff the op mentioned but after covid I just can't be arsed any more with fitting in or pretending to know what normal is.

Years ago, I read somewhere that the native tribes who live here on canada's west coast had such abundance that they could develop their artwork to a high level and lived a good life without much work. Not that they didn't work hard but it was seasonal as the salmon came upstream in fall and had to be processed for their winter survival but once it was done the article said that they averaged out to about 3 hours work a day. The rest was hanging with family in the long houses. Communal living in these huge houses also made lighter work and was only possible because they lived in a rain forest that supplied cedar trees which are light and split into enormous boards naturally.

When I read that it hit me hard that humans are meant to have lots of down time with friends/family/alone, that work should be purely for survival and needn't be a treadmill.

Despite still struggling with society expectations and standards, I try to remember that our modern world is designed to produce work slaves and not much else. It isn't normal.

You think maybe you were just wasting time, but look at it this way. Maybe you weren't wasting time so much as gaining better hand-to-eye coordination, using electronic devices and things like that. If you're interested in that field you could do a lot of things that build on that training. Maybe even work at NASA in the control center! The sky is the limit!

originally posted by: igloo

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: snrb123

originally posted by: dragonslayer83
I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I want to have a balanced life of work and play, before it was all play but I can't go from one extreme of always having fun and doing what I wanted to the other of always working or studying. I have turned my life around with slip ups here and there. I intend to live a balanced life of work and play. I need advice on how to deal with this inner voice constantly telling me to be productive. I just can't double my time learning and doing stuff, it's not healthy and each day has a limited amount of hours.

Don’t be too hard on yourself for one.
Words have power. Want a different inner voice? You have to chose the words that would empower you. It takes time.

Your words here “I want to have a balanced life of work and play” are an example. When you start to feel the pressure, speak words that will empower this truth of yours.

“Life is short” , “I’m happier when there’s a balance” , “it’s ok to play today” , “ if I live in the past it will become my future”.

Or whatever it is that resonates with you. Speak the words and say them loud and with conviction! When you wake up. Mid day. And before you go to bed. Or when you are having that internal struggle.

I still procrastinate but I have slowly gotten back into projects that are constructive, but I have no illusions that they are gonna be profitable in any way shape or form.

I can relate to this so much as I've started silversmithing again with absolutely no goal of career or profit in any way and I'm so loving it. Everything I'm making starts with a person in mind and goes to them as a gift. There is a lot of joy in that compared to when I had a business making other jewellery and it was a massive hassle.

I also wasted years and years and years partying, drinking, spontaneous travelling. It was fun but certainly set me back in ways that friends cannot understand. No pension, no savings, life is financially always a car repair away from ruin and it makes me struggle with the same stuff the op mentioned but after covid I just can't be arsed any more with fitting in or pretending to know what normal is.

Years ago, I read somewhere that the native tribes who live here on canada's west coast had such abundance that they could develop their artwork to a high level and lived a good life without much work. Not that they didn't work hard but it was seasonal as the salmon came upstream in fall and had to be processed for their winter survival but once it was done the article said that they averaged out to about 3 hours work a day. The rest was hanging with family in the long houses. Communal living in these huge houses also made lighter work and was only possible because they lived in a rain forest that supplied cedar trees which are light and split into enormous boards naturally.

When I read that it hit me hard that humans are meant to have lots of down time with friends/family/alone, that work should be purely for survival and needn't be a treadmill.

Despite still struggling with society expectations and standards, I try to remember that our modern world is designed to produce work slaves and not much else. It isn't normal.

It's about balance and my equilibrium is out of wack, throw in occasional health BS...after you do the same thing or while you perform some duties by muscle memory but still, that isn't satisfaction at all, LOL and Im too old to feel that way

on a side are you actually on Vancouver Island? I bet that is so beautiful.

Hell Ive only had a weekend in the mountains once in the last 5-6 years,

a reply to: dragonslayer83


I’m 57, I’ve worked since I was 16.

I’ve had jobs that I loved that paid great salaries, and worked some I hated and paid crap.


The important thing to remember is who is in your life is the most important thing always!

You may have dodged some bullets; maybe you needed healing time. That’s ok. There are some untrustworthy people in this world. You need to trust your instincts the most.

I know a few people who started working late in their 20s, and they managed through perseverance to climb into great careers. Pension careers most of them, a few with no college degrees. The key to their success was to stay focused on the task at hand, and put in the effort to learn. Everybody has to start somewhere.

There is the military, jobs seem more flexible now. Just pick something and do what you can to make it happen. Even a part time job is a start, nothing wrong with that, and you might make some great friends along the way.

My closest friends are people I’ve met on the job! just get out there, F fear!

a reply to: dragonslayer83

Don't think too much about changing your life. Think more about changing your tomorrow. Take baby steps and keep perspective

a reply to: dragonslayer83

I wasted a lot of years doing nothing, playing videos and other unproductive activities. I didn't work or learn anything. I just did what was fun, what I wanted. Now I feel pressured and stressed out about having wasted many years of my life. How do I not give in to the anxiety, even though it might be justifiable because of having wasted so much time.

I spent most of my youth working way too hard. If I could go back in time I would have had a lot more fun.

Isn't it funny that our thinking is opposite, and neither is great. Something in the middle is what works. Work, learn but also save time for fun. Don't dwell on the past or future, live right now.

a reply to: gortex

I feel like being around your 30s is being halfway through life. One you're in your 50s, 60, you physically can't do the same things as you used to or work a physically demanding job. Might also have an illness or disability. Maybe you can't really travel. Being 30 I feel like half of my life is done, maybe that's pessimistic thinking.

a reply to: igloo

How do you think we should escape this modern work life? It seems the only options are to go off grid or join a communal living community. Communal living is probably less work since you share everything and others will contribute too. But you have to abide by the rules and what if you don't like certain people.