Often heard sayings that are completely false.

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar."

You would think it would hold true, but I tested this theory one summer afternoon on a fly infested porch area. The vinegar actually caught one or two flies after a couple hours. The honey didn't catch a single fly.

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: ColeYounger
a reply to: SeriouslyDeep

"The customer is always right."
What a load of crap that is!

It's correct, but simply misunderstood. It means "The customer knows what the customer wants to buy." He is "right" in that statement. So if he goes to the hardware store and wants to but a widget, but the store doesn't have a widget to sell, the customer will go elsewhere. It has nothing to do with the employee taking abuse. That is an unfortunate and simplistic interpretation that many people make that leads to all sorts of confusion. Managers and employers who insist on this interpretation are just plain stupid.

Sometimes it's ok to fire a customer.

You'll go blind doing that.
My eyesight is still 20-20

In an ironic turn of events heres one for you:

Booky at highly reputable gambling establishment:
Would that be point spread?

Gambler:
No, moneyline.

Booky at highly reputable gambling establishment:
Give me the bets.

Bets given, three days later gambler returns having chosen 4 out of 5 winning teams on a dozen tickets.

Different booky at same highly reputable gambling establishment:
These are all losers.

Gambler:
What do you mean? Only one team lost here.

Different booky at same highly reputable gambling establishment:
These are point spread tickets.

Gambler:
I bet on all moneyline, the booky even asked me.

Different booky at same highly reputable gambling establishment:
All I can tell you is make sure you dont ever step away from the counter with the wrong tickets. Sorry.

The often heard saying here is

Welcome to (establishment) how can I help (screw) you?

Merry Christmas

ABC news: "Claimed without evidence" or "Baseless claims" In hundreds of fairly recent opinion pieces disguised as news reports.

CNN: "They're very safe and effective". "They offer 100 percent immunity". (Reporters giving medical advice without a license).

"If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor". (It did have a nice ring to it at the time).

Of course these aren't the old timey ones. These are some of the new modern era ones, but someday they will become the "Old folk tale sayings".

a reply to: JinMI

money did grow on trees
when we printed it on paper

but now its plastic so it grows in the ocean

Laughter is the best medicine.

Not when I had my hip done.

Diamorphine did the trick for me.

Youll understand when youre older.

originally posted by: SeriouslyDeep
Youll understand when youre older.

No, dumbass, youre not intelligent enough to explain, thats why you dont want to tell me.

how about...

i'll rip your head off

and # down your neck!?

i can't tell you
how many times i've heard that.

especially
from my mother.

i was 7 yrs old
before i found out
my name wasn't
jesus christ!

a reply to: sarahvital

my dads goto lines were

"ye hink am as thick as #e in the neck ae a bottle?"

"I'll come doon on ye like a tonne ae bricks"

"you'll no sit doon for a week laddie"

"ye hink am made ae money?"

“Down through all of eternity the crying of humanity, tis’ then when the hurdy-gurdy man comes singing songs of love.” – Donovan

Nope, still waiting.