Calling Elon Musk

🎵If I were a rich man yada yada yabba dabba
doo🎵

Buy CNN

The network is tanking, but the brand is historic. You'll basically be buying all their assets at 2nd hand prices.


Keep the News Anchors


You heard me right. And double their salaries.

The fat clown from Spawn can host an aerobics hour right after he does the cooking show with all those exotic dishes like human brains or cow hoof soup.

The rest of them can manage the 24 hour cycle reporting on the Durham report, the laptop from hell and the state of disrepair of the Union.



Invite Fox News Personalities as Experts


Have the guests treated with respect and never interrupt them.


Reinstate Cuomo

Have him do first degree exposes on the Italian Mafia, the Catholic Church and the quality of 2 minute noodles.


MENTAL HEALTH MONTH


Sanjay Gupta (Dr.) can do a year long show about spotting the signs of a loved one mentally deteriorating and the treatments for those ailments.

He can use public figures as examples.




I got a ton of ideas, and I challenge anyone to explain why they think CNN'S profits won't surpass even Fox News' earnings within the first year.

a reply to: 19Bones79

Perfect follow up to the purchase of Twitter.
Watching the Leftists' continued wailing, and gnashing of teeth would be priceless.

a reply to: IAMTAT


He can send the war correspondents to your Southern border, permanently.

Have cheap fireworks going off in the background with the war journous ducking everytime while they fearlessly bring you the truth about the invasion.

originally posted by: 19Bones79
🎵If I were a rich man yada yada yabba dabba
doo🎵

Buy CNN

He'd have to rustle up another $45billion to acquire Warner Bros. Discovery since they are the parent company and CNN is not traded.

a reply to: 19Bones79

You do realise his name is an anagram of "Suk Lemon" don't you?

a reply to: 19Bones79

Musk should move Don Lemon over to SpaceX...since he's clearly an expert on Black Holes.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


I'm sure where there's a will, Elon can find a way.

Perhaps the current administration will do away with legal propaganda against American citizens just because he owns a news channel.


They already want to change the rules after he bought Twitter.

a reply to: nerbot


There we go. I'm sure even gematria is in his favor on this one.

originally posted by: 19Bones79
I'm sure where there's a will, Elon can find a way.

There's only two ways, the one I mentioned or he makes an outright offer for the network. He can't just buy it by scooping up shares of CNN since they don't exist.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


Well, I'm sure Elon would go about it the right way if that was what he wanted to do.

Warner Bros Discovery would simply give him more toys to play with than just CNN.


We just need them to insult the Babylon Bee.

a reply to: 19Bones79

Musk already owns the name 'The Boring Company'...so he can easily rebrand CNN by folding it into his tunneling company.

originally posted by: 19Bones79
Well, I'm sure Elon would go about it the right way if that was what he wanted to do.

Me too, since that's the only way you can do it.

a reply to: IAMTAT


You know what? If he hires me as CEO and creative content director I'm taking you with me.


That's gold.


🤣👌🏻

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


Look at us, all Turner and Hooch in here.

a reply to: 19Bones79

I'll be the dog.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: 19Bones79
🎵If I were a rich man yada yada yabba dabba
doo🎵

Buy CNN

He'd have to rustle up another $45billion to acquire Warner Bros. Discovery since they are the parent company and CNN is not traded.

finance.yahoo.com...

it seems that's a possibility after all.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


1. No begging for food.

2. Do not sniff my crotch.

3. Don't drink from the toilet.

originally posted by: 19Bones79
a reply to: IAMTAT


You know what? If he hires me as CEO and creative content director I'm taking you with me.



🤣👌🏻

...only if YOU do all the ZOOM calls with Jeffrey Toobin.

a reply to: IAMTAT


Toobin will be reporting permanently from Antarctica.

If he can find anything to play with I'll let him have it.

originally posted by: 19Bones79
a reply to: IAMTAT


Toobin will be reporting permanently from Antarctica.

If he can find anything to play with I'll let him have it.

He'll be frozen stiff.