Need to vent I guess

I am having some troubles dealing with life. I know that everyone has problems and I'm not the only one, but I'm really struggling right now. I looked up online if maybe there was a way to find free counseling or something like that. I found a site that listed online chats or sites where you can talk with someone. This is the one. I don't have people in my life that I feel comfortable with talking about some of the stuff, I'm afraid of letting people see all the gunk that lies beneath the image I have portrayed. Also, part of the issue is my relationship, and I just don't feel right letting people see the bad side of my spouse. I think it's not fair to him, and I wouldn't want him talking to people about me either.
Anyways, I chose the one called blahtherapy. Just to chat with strangers or whatever. It's set up so you can be a listener or a venter. I chose venter of course. The "listener" i was paired with started with a greeting and asked how I was. i just said, new here, not sure what to expect, etc. They then came back with a OMG and what is wrong with humanity. I didn't understand and they ripped into me for being so rude and selfish by not even asking them how they were! I was so confused but it kind of made me laugh, and I said I guess this didn't help. They continued with the verbal abuse, so of course I exited. So I tried a different site, and the person was just trying to pick someone up! So frustrating! I'm naturally polite and kind for the most part, so I just casually said this isn't what I thought it was and that I was gonna get off there.
Does anyone know of any way I can get help or whatever anonymously? I thought online would be good, because it's not very convenient for me to go out to do such a thing.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

Depending on you or your spouses work benefits, one of you may have an EFAP - Employee, Family Assistance Program.

My wife was going through some mental health issues years back.
If it wasnt for my EFAP, she would had to wait 6 months to speak to someone.
But because I do have it, she was seen immediately.
Its like a VIP program for just about anything.
The one we belong to is anyway.

If thats not an option,
You could try venting on here.
Theres a bunch of really good listeners on ATS.
And the mods are usually pretty good with removing anyone being abusive.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

Here is Better Helps website

I know nothing about it, other than its online counselling
Link

a reply to: Macenroe82

My husband does have that through his work. We've even gone for marital counseling, to no avail. He wasn't really into it I think, so we only went to a few visits. It's an option, but I feel funny asking him to get me in there. The way he is, he would want to know what was so wrong with me that I'd feel the need to talk to them.
I know there are a lot of great people on here, too.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Thank you, I'll check that out.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

Try this site out:

www.dearcupid.org...

It's moderated and such so no trolls and dumb answers.

Or, just vent here...

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

Do you have your own benefits card?

All you have to do is go on the website and enter your membership number.

Please, just do it.
Dont make excuses to yourself.

Get the benefits number - call whichever drug store you usually pick prescriptions from and get it.
And then log into the website. You will have your own user name, login all that stuff.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

blahtherapy definitely doesn't seem like a therapeutic service based on your experience. If you want, I will ask some professionals if they know of a better platform for you. I'll also bump what Macenroe said above. Venting here seems like a safer place. You could even go as far as having a private conversation with a member who you feel comfortable with. I've noticed there are quite a few wise ladies on here.

This community has a pretty good ear.

People here helped me thru a few tough times.

Either way, glad you are looking to talk to someone.

I hope you find the answers you seek.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Yeah, thanks for letting me know that! I do have my own card, so I can call them myself. I think it could help a lot just to help me sort my thoughts at least, and in a more productive way than me just letting all the thoughts swirl around in my head and becoming one big muddy mess, with seemingly no end or beginning even.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

A lot of times I find that as humans we already know the answer to our problems, we just don’t know how to get started moving in that direction, or the answer hurts to much to face it.

A therapist is going to tell you to rid yourself of all those who bring you down. At least everyone I’ve ever known who had a therapist is told that.

a reply to: tamusan

No, it's definitely presented in a different way than it actually plays out, that's for sure!
I know there are quite a few here whom I respect and sort of feel like I know from their posts.

a reply to: TheLieWeLive

Yes, I know what you mean. I have so many things in life that have happened to me, starting practically since I was born, that have really had an effect on me. I sometimes feel that I've got things in check, when really all I've been doing is not actually dealing with unresolved issues.
As far as the relationship goes, I'm not ready to give up. I left for a couple months, but then hated hurting him, so I went back. It was better for a little bit, but now we're back where we were, with the exception of me not drinking anymore. That was a big issue. He still drinks though. He fully admits that he drinks so he doesn't have to deal with things. That's not good. I feel funny writing this here.
it's not all about the relationship though. Truly, I have so many of my own issues that have nothing to do with the relationship. I think maybe if I can take care of that stuff, I can then focus more on the relationship? I don't know! Blah! Haha

Mental Health Support

originally posted by: Ellie Sagan
a reply to: TheLieWeLive

Yes, I know what you mean. I have so many things in life that have happened to me, starting practically since I was born, that have really had an effect on me. I sometimes feel that I've got things in check, when really all I've been doing is not actually dealing with unresolved issues.
As far as the relationship goes, I'm not ready to give up. I left for a couple months, but then hated hurting him, so I went back. It was better for a little bit, but now we're back where we were, with the exception of me not drinking anymore. That was a big issue. He still drinks though. He fully admits that he drinks so he doesn't have to deal with things. That's not good. I feel funny writing this here.
it's not all about the relationship though. Truly, I have so many of my own issues that have nothing to do with the relationship. I think maybe if I can take care of that stuff, I can then focus more on the relationship? I don't know! Blah! Haha

Definitely take care of your personal needs, you got to be happy and content with yourself before you can be happy and content with anybody else.

Sounds simple? it isn't but it's the best place to start, but try and prioritize what is it exactly that's keeping you from being content with yourself ? Answer that honestly and go from there.

Worked for me, atleast

a reply to: VierEyes

Oh thank you! I think that looks like something useful for me.

a reply to: putnam6

Yes, I'm always trying to boil it down to the biggest thing that's got me feeling so dang helpless and unhappy. There's a few, but basically I have very low self esteem and I'm always looking for validation from others. That's not good for me and it's not good for them.

Sometimes listening to others problems gives you space to see your own from a different perspective.

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

Hi Ellie,
I sent you a pm

a reply to: Ellie Sagan

He still drinks though. He fully admits that he drinks so he doesn't have to deal with things.

It looks like you both have unresolved issues and you are the one looking for another way. You're ready and he isn't, that has to be tough.
Like Putnam suggested, take care of your personal needs too, never forget you.

It's easy for me to be a keyboard shrink and even easier for me to give bad advice too I suppose. With that said I wish you the best.

Maybe try sleeping on it tonight, when fading to sleep ask the universe what it is you need to do and then be prepared to listen.