Beta males, softies and metrosexuals why would you want a life with one?

I make this thread because I thought about the beta male effect, how I call it, and wanted to gather some input about these descriptive and at the same time also judging terms. Mind you, I use them as they exist, for me inner values as you see at the end are more important. Was watching "the Witcher" lately, the contrast between the Witcher and the Bard was probably what I picked up and made me think. The Bard went through some development in the series though towards the end.

Softie
I remember from lunch talks inside the family and other occasions, that the word "softy" fell sometimes. A little condescending though. Beware, this might be one of the Denglish words Germany likes to come up with. Similar to "handy" that's how mobile phones are called in Germany. Because they are handy, lmao. Back to softy. As I understood it back then, it was a description for an adult, grown up male, that has a very soft soul, like more on the feminine side than male. The alleged dream guy for any woman, gentle, soft, listening and understanding. We will get back to that why I see different.

Metrosexual
The next term I then learned, was "metrosexual" around the start of the new century. A descriptive word for males that do things like bleach their hair, strands, style up daily like going to a disco, makeup even. In short, men that find it extreme important how they look. When I went to school, it was the time of boy group bands. Nsync and Backstreet Boys and so on. Interesting is the combination between the words "metropole" and "heterosexual". Makes me smile a bit what it implicates (metro), a British reporter coined the term 1995, Mark Simpson was that. Beware, metrosexual does not necessary mean soft or push over. Think Ronaldo or Beckham.

Also basically every guy you see on ads for these dumb dating TV shows are metrosexual by optics. It has nothing to do with sexuality, remember, that part comes from "heterosexual" as in, not gay but still doing these mostly female things. I had contact to this species before, when I was asked stuff about concealers in a shop by a guy that probably has back then already used more makeup than me in my whole life until now...Again, his choice, only using that very friendly person as an example. Or maybe he was trying to convey through the flowers to me that I am ugly and could have good use for it. Lol who knows?!

Beware this is more the optics reflected outwards, as the definition of a metro sexual is very heavy on optics and less inner values.


Beta males
I think we all know the kind, yes sayers that submit naturally and give up control. Passive, rather take orders than have the confident and gut's to dish out. The lower ones in the human pecking order. Also those that do not aspire power, not a bad trait in itself.


Curiosity
No offense to these men at all though. I hoped I described respectful, it was my intention at least. Everyone is born a certain way and they are not less human because of it. Although low in pecking order and less attractive to people like me.

So I wondered and reflected a bit lately. Being a more dominant person as a single mother, because I need to stay afloat and fight for daughter and myself. Still don't want any man of this kind, I concluded it's not a balance thing. How can I count on someone like that when SHTF situations arise? To stand for the family, to risk something. Someone that speaks up when things are wrong and not just endure it.

- Is it just my observation that these type of males are much more common today? Or just have a better platform?
- Is it the "safe times" we live in, that makes some put more priority on selecting a partner that caters towards being on the softer side, less masculine men?
- Is it a self feeding circle as in, those more gentle men actually think all woman want this, through observing the overrepresentation in magazines, TV and other optical media?
- Is it more the optics in case of metrosexuals for other women?
- Is it maybe genetics that has influence on things like this?

These are mostly questions for female members, naive ones probably but honest. I would not ask them if I had an answer myself. Of course males are not excluded to drop their thoughts about the topic and these questions. I would welcome it. Maybe a male member want's make a similar thread. Or add here.

I welcome an open and respectful discussion.

The Witcher is an excellent show, but Cavill should have stabbed that 15 yr old witch girl in the face instead of "muh feelz" and letting half his crew get slaughtered by interdimensional manticores or whatever those things are. A real man wouldn't be so indecisive about protecting his family from a demon. Same with the backstabby girlfriend, off with her head.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

Great thread. Unlabeled male here.

The first thing I associate with a softie is a limp handshake.

Metrosexual brings Ryan Seacrest to mind since the term came around the same time American Idol started (boy doesn't Brian Dunkleman wish he had stayed on the show).

I've never heard of a beta make, unless a yes honey male is the same. I definitely know a guys who wear the pants...except when their wife or girlfriend is around.

I do tend to agree with you though that the pool of what would be considered a traditional mans man has been shrinking for the past 20 years.

Damn, I have recently been reclassified.....I thought I was a Beta, but now I am an Omega Male. But I do know how to act Alpha and Beta when needed. I guess that the reclassification fits my profile well. I know lots of Alphas, they do tend to not things over before doing them, but often are lucky in their choices or is it that people actually like to be sheep. I have been a boss most of my working career but also do listen to the workers and learned that even the dumbest of people are good at something sometimes, I have learned from everyone I know, either what you should do or what you should not do. I would rather learn from others mistakes than make them myself.

Well, I'm in redneck country where men are outspoken, macho types for the greater part. What I've noticed is when action is called for, they suddenly become quite passive- or have something more pressing to attend to.

Remember, we all have a persona we present to the world; it protects our true, inner self identity. The inner person will be the opposite of their public projection.

I've watched this play out for many years, and found it to be true. The sweetest, kindest person you'd ever meet is not someone you want to back into a corner. Conversely, that grouchiest people I've ever met are hiding a really sensitive heart. As a rule, the grouchier they are the more their true nature has been taken advantage of and the more they've been hurt by being the 'nice guy'.

I collect my replies in one to not flood the thread and keep it nice and tidy.

a reply to: peter_kandra
Oh yes, important hint, beta comes after alpha, there are omega males too further down the chain of command. If stay with the wolf pack descriptions. Beta male is the version I read and hear more often though why I took the more prominent term probably subconsciously, it must be a local thing maybe.

But you make a good point, beta males are the ones actually below alpha, aspiring but not quiet made it. So indeed my description isn't accurate. I won't change it now because that child already fell into the well.

a reply to: rickymouse

Damn, I have recently been reclassified.....I thought I was a Beta, but now I am an Omega Male. But I do know how to act Alpha and Beta when needed. I guess that the reclassification fits my profile well. I know lots of Alphas, they do tend to not things over before doing them, but often are lucky in their choices or is it that people actually like to be sheep. I have been a boss most of my working career but also do listen to the workers and learned that even the dumbest of people are good at something sometimes, I have learned from everyone I know, either what you should do or what you should not do. I would rather learn from others mistakes than make them myself.

That does not sound like a beta(omega) male at all to me. If you are able to delegate work in a comfortable manner to others you sure have the potential for a leader type, it's in you. You make an important point though, as with everything nothing and no one is quiet the same.

These are just labels we come up with though. There will be "in betweens" in all shades and colors. But to have a start, labels are good to orientate around the topic IMHO.

a reply to: nugget1

Well, I'm in redneck country where men are outspoken, macho types for the greater part. What I've noticed is when action is called for, they suddenly become quite passive- or have something more pressing to attend to.

Remember, we all have a persona we present to the world; it protects our true, inner self identity. The inner person will be the opposite of their public projection.

I've watched this play out for many years, and found it to be true. The sweetest, kindest person you'd ever meet is not someone you want to back into a corner. Conversely, that grouchiest people I've ever met are hiding a really sensitive heart. As a rule, the grouchier they are the more their true nature has been taken advantage of and the more they've been hurt by being the 'nice guy'.

We call those types simply loud mouths. Or bag of hot air. Tough on the surface only. You poke through and the facade bursts. It's the same type of person that is rude to you first for no reason and you are friendly, until you are rude to them backwards and then they are friendly suddenly. I tested this, being the social awkward person I am. It's either respect gathered or a domination thing.

At the butcher there was this woman who always asked grumpy "what do you want" so I said like in the same rude town, with a stern look like "two pound of your friendliest ground beef you can muster up". And suddenly she was friendly as never before, shined like the sun, smiled and after that day, never ever grumpy towards me. So you see, this is not only a male thing of course.

About the sweetest type, we say deep waters are silent.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

My life is pretty good. I have no cause to worry about other men's masculinity.

a reply to: Whodathunkdatcheese
Not sure how to understand it but I guess if you are happy you are not doing (m)any things wrong

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

Whuddahbout simps and neckbeards?


Tough times make strong men. In the West, most males havent had tough anything.

Society doesnt have much use for weak men historically.

a reply to: nugget1
Im one of those super kind, helpful, sweet guys, that only takes control when needed, as i see my wife as my equal, except when she needs something fixed

Mess with me...eh, if ur not hurting me physically,
whatever, no biggie. Mess with my wife or daughter...you will see a side of me even my wife has never seen, i try very hard to suppress it because it truly scare even me.

a reply to: JinMI

I tried to focus on the soft side as I wondered what's up with them. I looked up both terms and simp comes up as "the white Knight / nice guy". For that it also takes some masculinity to have.

Neckbeards, if I understand this strange stereotype correctly are anime fans that think by default Japanese woman or maybe think woman in general are subservient and submissive. He would have a bad awakening with me, not literally though . Not sure how dominant these people really are, I get they are more the silent and closed type is what the stereotype is stereotyping.

Or did I fell for joke definition, it happens sometimes. Damn you urban dictionary, you rascal.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

Pretty much spot on although keyboard masculinity is a thing. Check my post history for examples!

originally posted by: rickymouse
Damn, I have recently been reclassified.....I thought I was a Beta, but now I am an Omega Male. But I do know how to act Alpha and Beta when needed. I guess that the reclassification fits my profile well. I know lots of Alphas, they do tend to not things over before doing them, but often are lucky in their choices or is it that people actually like to be sheep. I have been a boss most of my working career but also do listen to the workers and learned that even the dumbest of people are good at something sometimes, I have learned from everyone I know, either what you should do or what you should not do. I would rather learn from others mistakes than make them myself.

I've always considered myself omega as my own little joke. To my mind, you have the rest of the alphabet following the alpha, trying to compete, trying to win favour, or just bootlicking so being the omega allows you ultimate freedom. Nobody cares about what you do, where you go, what you think and you're free of all their collective bs as well. Win, win I say!

a reply to: JinMI

Ah great, the post went through. Regional glas fiber internet went down just when I clicked reply. So I am using a mobile phone on a broom stick again, if I don't reply to the thread or in general but show as online, it's because of that.

Lol keyboard masculinity, I like this term. I am much more introverted (but not subservient) offline too, online my speech disorder plays no role in communication, only for life examples how cruel people can be.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

If anyone ever called me a beta-male I'd hit them with my man-purse and run away.

Though not very fast because you can't run in Crocs.

a reply to: peter_kandra

Limp handshake? Yeah, I've had those, the kind where it's like you are holding a dead fish, ugg. But on the opposite side are those ''alpha?"males that are so eager to present their own strength and dominance that when you go to shake hands with them automatically, rather than simple palm to palm, go for the wrap around grip where they strangle that part of your hand above the knuckles so that you cannot even get a grip on them and are forced into a submissive shake. Maybe the limp shakers have had that one so many times that they don't even try to shake on a mutual basis.

Me, I have a very large hand that in my youth might have been able to crush other hands. Now though with the arthritis in my thumbs and carpal tunnel I can no longer do the ''me big dog'' shake as that would cause to much pain so I have pretty much gone for the ''yes I am here don't worry about me'' hand shake.

a reply to: DBCowboy
Are you the flailing arm type runner or the tensed up arm type runner?

originally posted by: ThatDamnDuckAgain
a reply to: DBCowboy
Are you the flailing arm type runner or the tensed up arm type runner?

I flail like I have springs in my arms.

And I squeal a lot.

*running*

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. . . . . "

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

What Evaah...

Never understood the Alpha Male concept, since you would literally have to fight to the death over a female, hell even forced like Bears. Some species are the exact opposite, like female birds being larger, and Hyenas are a complete matriarchy that is usually settled of bonds rather a blood sport for poon.

No offense but I was usually told fighting over a woman pretty Beta in my species. It just showing off really, and woman believe it, hell, Sigma males are better.

They are like Alphas, but quiet, and every Alpha going to say they are a Beta while every Beta going to say they are an Alpha.

No different then Apollo an Dyonsus, type A an type B. One more is more out going but doesnt think, while the other thoughtful but is hesitant.

Still, id rather be Beta then the rest. It your body gate keepers.