My son is being bullied

Hi all.

I'm just asking for advice more on what to do.
My son is being bullied everyday in school. I would help in any way I could, I would storm the school and make a loud fuss , but he lives
in another country (in Europe) and I'm in the US.

He tells me he's being bullied , and physical too , they kick and punch him and his school does nothing.
His 'father' knows about it , but does nothing , and worse even , tells him not to tell me as 'mom makes too much drama'

I feel helpless . I thought he would be better of which his father for numerous reasons, but clearly that's not the case.

I need to do something , I'll try to get in contact with his school, but what will that do?
If it were up to me I'd file a police report against his main bully punching and kicking someone as adults gets you booked for assault and rightly so, so why should it be different for kids?? Problem is , is I don't know his main bully's full name .

Please, any advice ?

a reply to: ancientlight

Tell him to develop a sudden interest in self-defense, martial arts, etc., and ask his father to take him to lessons.

My son still wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's gotten physically imposing enough that the other kids think twice before bothering him after he's demonstrated his physical ability a time or two without realizing it.

a reply to: ancientlight

You ever watch bad Santa . I’d hire billy bob to go pound their heads in

I got bullied as a kid, one day one kid that used to pick on me wanted to fight me after school. I took the punches but did not do anything but block the punches. He asked me why I did not fight back the next day, I told him I was allowed to hunt with a twenty two caliber rifle on my own and I was only ten and I would lose that priviledge if I did anything stupid like fight after school. He was impressed, and he never picked on me again, also he settled down and the next year I heard him bragging to his friends that he was allowed to get a BB gun by his dad...evidently the reason he wasn't allowed to have one was because he was getting in fights in school. Sheesh, I had my own BB gun when I was six already. I was allowed to use it on my own by seven years old and I was extremely safe with it so I was using a real gun by the time I was eight when accompanied by my father or Uncles.

I do not know the answer to your question OP. First it is a different country where he is, and boys fighting was normal years ago here, I was not normal. It is not that way here anymore, but it may be that way in parts of Europe yet...so you are on your own with this, I thought fighting was dumb when I was young, but most boys thought it was normal...it trained boys for the militaries, that is why they allowed it.

a reply to: ancientlight

Tell your Son to Fight back .

It's best he learns to Fight back now , Because if he continues to back down he will back down for the rest of his life.

Just my Opinion.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: ancientlight

Tell him to develop a sudden interest in self-defense, martial arts, etc., and ask his father to take him to lessons.

My son still wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's gotten physically imposing enough that the other kids think twice before bothering him after he's demonstrated his physical ability a time or two without realizing it.

I did that, already years ago , but he didn't want to continue the classes . He was attending judo.

a reply to: ancientlight

Tell him to wait untill one of the bullies is alone and hit him with a chair multiple times..

originally posted by: asabuvsobelow
a reply to: ancientlight

Tell your Son to Fight back .

It's best he learns to Fight back now , Because if he continues to back down he will back down for the rest of his life.

Just my Opinion.

I did this too , many times, but he tells me he just gets in trouble with his school and not his bullies. Liberal school.

a reply to: ancientlight

We have told ours that the lessons are so he won't need them.

They are taught to do only enough to stop the attacker and then to get away and get help during self-defense not to carry on past that.

We also have made it plain that if he ever has to, the school will *not* be on his side, but if we can tell that he did as he has been trained we will be.

Part of stopping bullying is being willing to stand up for oneself one way or the other. Your son has to understand that first and foremost.

Teach him the 3 strike rule.. 1st strike. I tell teacher. 2nd strike. Principal involved. 3rd strike. Telling both the teacher & principal yet again what's happening. After the 3rd strike, the teacher & principal are now OUT. Instruct your son to open a can of whoop ass so damn big and so damn bad that when his little feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and say's wholly crap he's awake.

Tell him to walk up to the tallest bully and kick him in the balls as hard as he can.....

If needed, Repeat as necessary to other bullies.

Problem solved.

a reply to: ancientlight

There was a great scene in a show that I dont remember now .

Dad brings his kid to the bullies house and beats the #### out of the bullies dad right in front of the bully.

I send him a knee-kick self defense video. See if he applies it . He's very non-violent, but this is absolutely needed.

a reply to: ancientlight

The idea of getting the ring leader alone and beating the piss out of him just sounds like a good idea to me.
He will have the "gang" likely beat him up after that, but then he just needs to single them out, one at a time, and repeat as necessary. telling them they are weak and can only deal with him when they have backup, will make them laughed at, and your son will gain respect and most importantly self respect.

Violence is stupid, and rarely solve anything, but when it's kids, a good ass whipping seems to go a long way. He needs to be able to take a punch, and not cry. It's hard, but with enough determination, it can be done.

And remember, this is advice given on an anonymous message board.

It reminds me of an early meme. A guy pours his heart out about how his girl is cheating on him and treating him poorly, he asks the anonymous message board what to do. The first reply "try hitting her". You get what you pay for here.

wish him good luck.

originally posted by: ancientlight
I need to do something , I'll try to get in contact with his school, but what will that do?

YES. DO THAT FIRST!

The contact with the school is vitally important so there is a record of the complaint and nobody can say you didn't follow a sensible route for a solution.

Then, contact his father (pfft!) and tell him you will be reporting HIM to the police if HE takes no action too.

And most important....don't be bullied into submission to 'let it be'.

Good luck and keep us posted.

ps, what country is your son in?

a reply to: ancientlight
Been there done that tell him to put a brick in his back pack when the bullies come hit the first one with the bag then hit the second.

The rest will back down knowing what will happen to them make sure it's after school or before you son will thank you later.

P.S. the second one usually doesn't step up after you hit the first one but you gotta be ready for that can to be opened. They won't bother him again.

originally posted by: asabuvsobelow
a reply to: ancientlight

Tell your Son to Fight back .

It's best he learns to Fight back now , Because if he continues to back down he will back down for the rest of his life.

Just my Opinion.

This.

I never lost a fight in school because although a skinny alien looking twig I was fierce when I was attacked, as I knew deep down it was stupid and unwarranted I was picked on. My dad was a LTC in the Army so he always taught me to stand up for myself. I never picked a fight but I always ended the situation. Teach your son to stand up for himself. The world is a cruel place.

step.1
Speak with his teacher and tell the names of the bullies' and demand they get told by the school along with their parents it have to stop.

step.2 if step 1 fails.
Go straight into headmasters office and tell the story and tell him how you feel, in a civilianized many.. that will get you further.

step.3 if step 1 and 2 fails.
Contact the parents of the builles and tell them it have to stop right now not tomorrow but RIGHT NOW.
And tell them to take their kids, one family at the time for a cop of coffee. They gonna say sorry, and now they know you know there parents.

step.4 if everything fails
Contact the media, police and the governor.

step.5
Chaos and mayhem, the gloves are off.

Ohh and please do not involve the kid to much in this.. If he is a victim in this, he do not need more weight on his shoulders.
Do as much you can without him knowing, but you need to know some details of the deal from him, then you go to work.

Good luck.

Father of two kids myself

a reply to: ancientlight

How do you know this is even actually happening? There's obviously a history of acrimony between you and his father and this may be a manifestation of it. You haven't specifically said that you spoke with his father, only that your child said not to tell you.

a reply to: Spacespider

You forgot step 0

Take the plane to Europe.