Uncle Roger and Jamie Oliver.

And then we remove the chilli seeds, but then you add chilli flakes.
OK, makes sense.

In the cruise-ship dining hall:

Try not to stare, but there's the lady who tried to jump overboard and kill herself last night.

So, what are some of the predictions for this age of Kali-Yuga?

My hearing not very good ... but I don't accept this modern excuse, that there's no women out there.

I watch this spunky young woman with washed out orange hair every day.
Firstly I think: does the curtain match the drapes?

Then I try to encourage my son to grow some balls and invite her for Valentine's Day.

Does the curtain match the drapes.

With me and most men my age, absolutely.

Wait ... actually I haven't looked in a while.
OMG, I'm going brown!

I'm turning into a Bigfoot.

I was walking to the fridge starkers the other day, thinking nobody is watching me.

Meanwhile, there's this whole investment meeting going on, and the office door is open.

But mom says it's cool, I look like the Bigfoot.

It's like the Yeti just walked to the fridge and got a beer.

How flattering.

The great Hong Kong hamster cull:

I was thinking the other day, that hamster looks a bit lackluster.

Not drinking vodka and running in the wheel.